A/N- Whoops! 3 months have gone by since my last update and I feel awful, I really do. I feel like I say this all the time but I do know what it's like to be wanting a fan fiction to keep updating and having to wait for months for the next chapter. One too many times I have read a fanf iction and reached the climax of the story and then discovered that the author hasn't even been online in two years! So I truly am very sorry.
I am in Year 12 so have been revising hard for my exams and have had very little time of my own. However, when I have had time I've been watching The X Files or working on another fan fiction which I hope I may be able to upload one day if I manage to edit it all properly!
I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will try to update again very soon!
Chapter 20 (Ava)
With Fred gone away on a mission, the house felt empty. Too empty.
Where last night I had been away in another world entirely with Fred's arms around me, I now felt vulnerable and alone.
I was unable to stay sitting in one room for too long before I moved along to the next, until after about an hour I had sat in every room in the house twice. There was a strange chill in my bones that wouldn't go away, even after I put a thick woolly cardigan on.
I knew why I felt so helpless, but getting up and walking into the next room helped me to try and forget for a little bit longer.
When I was idle for too long, flashes of my time at Malfoy Manor would appear in my head. Images that I didn't want to see. Dolohov torturing me, Bellatrix hissing in my face, Draco torturing me-
I shook my head and stood up from my seat in the kitchen. Aunt Muriel was standing by the oven, and she turned around the moment I stood up.
"Can you not stay still for more than five minutes, young lady?"
I muttered an apology and scuttled out of the kitchen quickly. I could hear the front door of the house opening, and Mr. Weasley was beckoning Remus and a very pregnant-looking Tonks into the house. Before I could think about it, I dashed past them through the door and outside.
I sprinted away from the house, ignoring the shouts behind me. The cold air felt liberating, but it wasn't enough. I had to keep running.
My chest began to hurt, and I finally stopped at the edge of the field, doubling over to catch my breath. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and squeezed them shut.
"Ava?"
My eyes opened and I straightened up. Remus was sprinting towards me with his wand in his hand.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he slowed down, his expression worried. I gulped, looking away from his gaze.
"It... it's too much being in there, staying idle for too long just like I was at Malfoy Manor."
"Ava," Remus reached out and took hold of my hand, "Being kept a prisoner and being tortured... it's something that really impacts you afterwards. It's difficult to get over, especially when you're alone. I understand that you'll want to be constantly surrounded by people, especially Fred, but with the war, we're out a lot on missions."
I sighed, "If you would just let me come with you-"
Remus shook his head, "Not yet. The Death Eaters are looking for you. You need to wait until the searching dies down."
I opened my mouth, but closed it after a moment. I didn't know what to say.
Remus gulped, "When we were still at Hogwarts, Sirius' parents used to abuse him. One summer, they locked him in the cellar. When he came back to school in September, your dad and I were so worried. Sirius was..." He trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment, "He was like a shell of himself. He could barely crack a smile. He hated being alone. I spent a lot of time with him that year, and he always told me that I was the main reason that he managed to recover from the trauma."
Remus paused, "What I'm saying is... it's difficult, but things will get better, Ava. We'll do all that we can to help you."
I swallowed the lump in my throat, unsure of what to say. I knew that it was difficult for Remus to bring up things about the past and about Sirius.
"Remus," I finally started to say, "I can't just stay in that house all day. I'll go mad-"
I was cut off as Remus wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. He stroked my hair and muttered to me quietly, "Ava, if you didn't go mad in Malfoy Manor, you're strong enough to stay sane here. We'll keep you sane, anyway."
I finally allowed myself to smile, and leant my head against Remus' chest, "Thank you, Moony."
He chuckled softly, and began to lead me back towards the house. I followed him as I asked him about Tonks. A certain pride seemed to fill his eyes when he talked about Tonks, and I could tell how much he truly loved her.
"Tonks and I just came here because I need to discuss some things with Arthur, and Tonks begged me to let her come." Remus' eyes darkened for a moment, "She would be safer at home, but she was being rather persistent."
"Oh, come on," I muttered lightly as we approached the front door, "You can't force her to stay inside all day when you're out of the house so much."
Remus just grinned, rolling his eyes skywards, "You and Tonks are relentless."
"That's why you love us," I laughed, closing the door behind us, "I suppose I won't be allowed to sit in the kitchen with you and Mr. Weasley, will I?"
Remus shook his head, "We don't want to keep secrets Ava, but it's regarding something we ought to keep quiet..."
I sighed, "I'll be upstairs with Ginny. See you later."
I darted up the stairs and glanced at Ginny's door. It was slightly ajar, and I could hear only silence within. I knocked on the door quietly, "Ginny?"
"Come in," She muttered. I opened the door and saw her sitting on her bed, staring out of the window silently.
"What's the matter?" I asked, rushing to sit beside her.
Ginny shook her head quickly, but when she saw my disbelieving expression she sighed, "I'm just worried about Harry. I want to do all that I can to help our side, but Mum and Dad won't let me join the Order. I just feel like I'm doing nothing..."
I paused, "Ginny, I know you're worried about Harry. I am too. But he's a fighter. He's been through so much in the past few years, and he's still going strong. Plus, with Hermione and Ron by his side, he'll be fine."
Ginny nodded, "But, while he's away on his mission, I'm here doing absolutely nothing for the Order. It just feels so... wrong."
I exhaled, "There must be something we can do, Ginny."
"When I was at Hogwarts before the Christmas holidays, Neville, Luna and I set up Dumbledore's Army again. It was getting into full swing just before I left."
"Really?" I leant forwards, my interest piqued, "What did you guys do?"
She hesitated, "Mostly teaching first years how to defend themselves, but we also helped to heal students who had been tortured or harmed by the Death Eaters."
I looked at her, "You could go back to it."
Ginny snorted, "Mum would never let me. Besides, it was dangerous."
My mouth quirked up at the corner, "I love danger, Ginny. You know that."
She rolled her eyes, "Don't remind me. You've changed so much since we first met you, Ava. It's difficult to believe that you're the same person."
I studied her expression- her hard set mouth contrasting with her warm eyes, "So have you. What happened to the girl that used to tease me about Fred every living moment?"
She smirked, "Well, I heard George got into a bit of pickle this morning, involving you and a certain somebody in bed..."
My cheeks flushed, and she burst out laughing, "Very sly. You're lucky that no one heard."
"Fred may have cast a silencing charm on the door." I murmured, "Anyway, I feel weird having this conversation with you. Why don't we do something? Shall we play Exploding Snap?"
Ginny watched me for a moment, trying to figure out if I was being serious or not before beginning to laugh, "Feels a bit insubstantial when everyone else is out fighting the Death Eaters."
I stood up and gestured for her to follow, "Well, if they're not going to let us do anything, or even leave the bloody house, looks like we can't do anything meaningful for this bloody war. So we'll have to resort to games to prevent us from going mad with boredom."
"I warn you," Ginny grinned, "Playing Exploding Snap with Fred and George all of my life has trained me well. I'm not sure if you're ready to face me."
"We'll see," I chuckled, but as we trooped downstairs to the kitchen, I couldn't help but think about Dumbledore's Army back at Hogwarts. It seemed like it had been a good idea to restart the group, especially if the teachers had no shame in torturing their students.
I wondered what it would take for Remus to let me go back to Hogwarts.