Chapter 24; Then Her Heart Stopped Beating Part One
I'm so sorry. So so so sorry you guys. Its taken me so long to update- and I'm still not even happy with how this chapter turned out. I don't know what's been up with me lately. Either way, that's beside the point: Thank you all for being so patient and kind while waiting for this update. I really appreciate it, so, this chapter is dedicated to you.
Now, on a lighter note; The song on the side is Look After You by The Fray. I love love love The Fray, so make sure you check out the song and let me know what you think!
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I woke all too slowly, the sweet solace of sleep and the reality of the morning causing a prolonged battle within my mind. Really, I had no interest in waking; the essence of dreams a superior choice over anything the day specifically held for me. That's why even when the battle had ended, and I made the conclusion falling back to sleep would be nearly impossible, I still lay in my spot.
My eyes were shut tightly, my tired limbs grasping feebly at the pillow in front of me. I wasn't willing to accept (or was even prepared) for the view of the world just yet, the drowsiness that lurked around making me incredibly unwilling to do anything of the sort.
I held the pillow close, nestling it against me and inhaling deeply, realizing Drew's scent had been lingering. It was captivating; comfortable and strong and extremely alluring. Almost like a candle, one that never ceases to burn or melt, forever illuminated and flickering.
So I continued in my spot, entangled, unmoved and unaffected in the midst of the bed sheets. Though once the idea of him entered my mind, my thoughts went into a scatter of memories that I could hardly keep up with or even begin to contain.
Drew Drew Drew. It never mattered how many moments passed, he never vanished in my mind. It was the recurrence of him that kept me grounded, or at least that's what I believed. Somehow he had woven himself into my whole being, finding a place to stay and never abandoning it. And having him there somehow made everything easier, like a breath of fresh air after suffocating for so long.
I loved it.
And as my brain endlessly rummaged throughout it's deepest corners, cracks, and crevasses, I found myself concentrating particularly on last night. First the dinner, a pleasant memory, then the pressing conversation with his mom, which I still wasn't sure if I had entirely recovered from.
Next, the surprising admittance about Kyle, which I had mixed feelings about and wasn't even considering sorting out any time soon. I was just still left with so many unanswered questions- ones that I wasn't even sure would get answered. At least not any time soon.
But above all, the one thing I couldn't get over was the undeniable guilt I felt for Drew, seeing as he had slept on the hard floor all night long while he let me claim the bed. I don't know why it bothered me so much; he had clearly chosen that spot over any couch around the house or the alternative of me moving. For some reason I just felt so terrible; like I was taking so much and was unable to give anything in return.
Though I tried to disregard the thought as I finally rolled over, reluctant to glance at the time on the alarm clock as the room flooded into perspective. It was hazy at first; every line blurred and smeared, every item showing up in multiples. I was in a muddled mess of a daze, but after a few bats of my eyelashes and the occasional rub of my face, my attempts succeeded and my vision had finally become clear.
Even with the room now in full focus, I moved with no precise motivation. My eyes aimlessly wandered from the bed to the closet to the floor, and I frowned deeply as my gaze fell to a particular sight. Beside me was the disheveled heap of blankets, still strewn along the ground in a nest that looked wistfully full of discomfort and horribly wearisome. This is where Drew had slept, but now it was empty, a carcass of covers that he left behind in his wake.
A distant squeak broke me away from my thoughts, my head snapping sharply in the direction of the culprit. It was the window across the room, cracked so slightly that it was hardly noticeable. In fact, I wouldn't have noticed it; not if it hadn't got caught in the morning breeze and begin to sway back and forth.
I briefly wondered how it had been opened, as I was nearly positive that I had closed it after the previous talk on the roof the night before. I was so sure I had. But then, another memory surfaced: one of his mother last night following dinner, a small detail she mentioned as she told me about Drew, looking weary and frazzled all the same:
"He likes to sleep with the window open,"
I retreated from the bed now, the facade I withheld of the charmingly warm room fading as I padded across the chilled wood flooring. I came up to the swinging glass pane, reaching out to steady it with my nimble fingers. The air swirling through was tepid and mild, a pleasant feeling but definitely out of the ordinary since it was only about halfway through the summer; a time where there should be a blistering and swelling heat throughout the city.
I sighed inwardly; an accidental- and quite loud- gesture. He had opened the window sometime last night, something so simple but yet entirely unnoticed on my part. It seems no matter how hard I try or what I do, I always manage to miss paying attention to detail. I hated that.
It reminded me of the secret Drew held, the one he was so terrified to reveal to me. Like a rough jab in the side, like the sharp prick of a finger; it was a small kind of hurt, but long lasting. I just couldn't figure out, (or even begin to understand) why he couldn't tell me what was going on with him. So these little bits of pain, they were always among me now, always reminding me and threatening me with the information I didn't have.
But there was also those underlying questions, the ones that I feared most of all: Would I have already figured it out if I had been looking closer- was the answer screaming at me, right in front of my face all this time? Was I really that oblivious?
That was the thing- It had to be. I had to be. I couldn't even realize for the past four years that my mom had probably been in contact with my dad, even if it was only slightly. All behind my back, all while I was left in the dark; broken and clueless.
But I had to remember; my problems were small, diminishing, microscopic. No longer something to spend time on or to even think about. I had more important things dwell on, I had people who actually cared about me, and I especially had more to be happy about than to not be.
So I looked out the window, my thoughts going completely bleak and my body finally relaxing. The sky was picturesque in some sense, nearly seeming unreal. It looked fractured- as if someone had taken a hammer to it and gave it everything they had- dips of sunlight hiding between the cracks of gray clouds and the ripples of looming darkness. It was probably not even ten o'clock, but it looked like it could've been well into the afternoon. It was obvious that the sultry, rainy weather which had plagued the weekend would also be sticking around for the week.
The floor creaked beneath me as I shifted on my toes, essentially reminding me of the lack of Drew's presence as I stood in his room. It felt so strange to be in it all by myself, as all my previous appearances had been laced with him somewhere beside me or at least in the back ground. I wondered where he was within the house now, if he was shuffling around in the kitchen or lounging in the living room. Or maybe he wasn't even in the house at all.
Though, that seemed unlikely; I highly doubted he would leave me behind, even if it only was his house.
Eventually, my eyes fell back to the same path as before; surveying the bed to the closet to the walls- and as I did so I realized something particularly abnormal about Drew's bedroom. In no way, whatsoever, did Drew's room actually seem like his room.
Of course, it was- this was where his bed was, his belongings, where he and I had spent most of our time. But that was not what I meant. In the room, nothing seemed to really represent or resemble Drew as a person. All the furniture was too straight edge, too serious- and even though Drew had that sort of essence about him, it seemed like it was leaving out all the rest. Even the picture frame thrown in the corner on his desk seemed obscure, like it was meant for some other realm, like it didn't belong.
All it seemed like the bedroom was, was a large, stoic painting: untouched and unchangeable. Except, of course, the huge mess of blankets on the floor. Though, that didn't really fit in anywhere at all.
So with one last, drawl of a glance, I headed towards the doorway and out of the room. My feet made short, dinky scuttle sounds as I moved forward on the hard wood flooring, making it nearly impossible to stay quiet. I cringed with every step I took, hoping I wasn't ruining the sleep of anyone else in the house whose whereabouts I wasn't aware of.
It took me a little longer than usual as I resigned to tip-toeing instead of leisurely strolling down the hall, but I made it to the stairs soon enough. The house was astonishingly silent, which surprised me to say the least; yesterday even with just two people on the first floor the house had boomed with life. A murmur of a TV, light conversation, the clinking of bowls, the tapping of feet- everything that had had such a strong presence yesterday was now immensely absent.
It left a curious feeling in its place for multiple reasons, because I knew for a fact it really wasn't that early. It's not like I wasn't used to quiet, I was. The past four years of my life had consisted of waking up to a mom who had already disappeared or was squandering her way out the door. But that's probably why I was so worried to hear it now- Drew's house was the complete opposite of mine.
I descended down the steps, attempting to be as graceful and hushed as possible, with the endeavor in mind not to make my passage interrupt anyone else's morning. My footing was delicate and peaceful, the result of taking my time and not bumbling all the way down. Though my mind had just began to wander far off once again as I reached the bottom of the steps, which is why it took me so long to realize I wasn't entirely alone.
In the kitchen, hip resting against the side of the granite counters, elbows leaning forward and head resting atop hands, stood a weary, morning version of Drew. His eyes, a brilliant hue of dark brown, reflected grotesquely with the occasional flashes of sunlight outside hidden within the gray. They also had speckles of red in the very corners, an affect from a probably not so delightful slumber. His tall figure was slightly slumped, as he was bending forward, and his chest rose and fell with his breaths and shaky yawns. His hair, a wonderful color which matched his eyes and was always groomed, was instead a mess of bed hair; smashed and waved. His shoulders were tilted in a way that showed polite interest to the person who was seated directly in front of him on a counter stool; Ally.
He still looked beautiful. Angelic, really- a stunning stature and a radiant look even in the earliest hours of the morning, effortlessly and without the slightest attempt.
And Ally, was of course, literally the girl version of him- only with eyes as blue as ocean water instead of brown like forest wood. And where he had an exhausted exposure, she had the opposite; her body swayed and bounced with energy, her whole being at attention and on edge.
As I moved closer, still unseen, I noticed they were talking with one another. I heard only wisps of their conversation, nothing ever coming above a whisper or even close to it. No wonder I hadn't been aware of their presence upstairs, I could hardly hear them a few feet away- if I closed my eyes, their voices could merely be the wind, drifting through the still household and disappearing rapidly in thin air.
Though sadly, my invisible appearance wasn't sustainable for much longer, as I was acknowledge once my foot steps became increasingly closer. Ally was the first to look over, her senses sharper and at a higher quality than Drew's, but his gaze followed her's to where I stood over across the room. Once he looked up, I noticed he was twisting his bracelet between his fingers; but I had always assumed that to be a sign of nervousness- obviously it was only one of habit.
He smiled gently at me, the corner of his lips tugging slowly into the place of a kind and alluring look. I warmed by just the sight of him, a feeling that still seemed to have the ability to take my breath away, no matter how many times it had occurred.
I returned a humble smile, along a soft and simple "Good morning" before roaming over to him. Once I was at his side his features relaxed just the slightest, and now he leaned towards me, still smiling graciously.
"Good morning to you t-" He was saying, until he was interrupted by a harsh humph of anger, which had resonated from Ally who was separated from us by the counter. We both turned in her direction, our miniature moment ending as my mood changed from blissful to confused, and Drew's lips now tugged into a small frown.
The girl who moments ago I could've sworn was bubbling with joy and the pure essence of life, had been misinterpreted- she was still astonishingly adorable, but now held the persona of someone who was anywhere near content. In fact, her little self looked furious- her eyebrows yanked downward in disgust, her lips pulled back into a snarling pout, her arms crossed triumphantly in front of her chest. And without prevail, her tone consisted of obvious anger. Especially as she cringed dubiously and said; "I can't believe you guys. You two are mean. Mean, mean, mean!"
Drew sighed, as if this her being upset had been some theme throughout the morning. "I thought we just went over this Ally. You said you weren't going to be difficult about this two seconds ago."
I looked up at him, now scrunching my own eyebrows. What in the world was he talking about? What had they talked about?
"Yeah," She scowled, glaring at the two of us and humphing again as she searched for something to say. "But that was before she came down the stairs and reminded me!" She released her agitated arm cross to take a moment to point at me.
"Me? What in the world did I do?" I asked, trying to remain serious but on the verge of chuckling, as Ally's face was contorting into more entertaining and extremely exaggerated pouts by the second. I could tell Drew was wanting to do the same, as he was biting the corner of his lip- but obviously whatever was going on he knew it was best not to laugh.
Ally refused to look at us directly, much less answer, so Drew did it for her. He ruffled his hair as he looked at me. "The world is coming to an end." He paused, "Ally has to stay over at the neighbor's house while we go to work so they can watch her. She hates it over there."
"Why? And where'd your parents go?" I asked, which received a squeal on Ally's end but still no answer. So Drew rolled his eyes at her and spoke up again.
"I have no clue why she doesn't like it. She used to love going over there, and then all of a sudden," He did air quotes as he said the last part, "she hates it with an indescribable burning passion."
Then he waited before adding, "Oh, and my parents had to go a little out of town to get new parts for something at the shop. But they had to bring two cars, which is why my mom went- they'll be back around dinner though."
"I see." I nodded curtly, giggling. Drew grinned at me, reaching out to run his fingers through my hair; sending chills down my spine as his fingers bumped against my shoulder. Hopefully he didn't notice, but I'm pretty sure he did.
I had to face Ally full on now, attempting to avoid the inevitable experience of my cheeks turning red. "Ally, I'm sure they're not that bad." She still wouldn't look in my direction, even as I leaned forward on the counter. "It's up to you how fun you make it; going over there. If you try and have a good time, I can bet you a million dollars you probably will."
"That doesn't even make sense." She grumbled, but I knew that wasn't true; she just wouldn't admit anything in her ferocious mood. "I can't make it any better if they're not fun. And they are not fun."
Drew rolled his eyes again, and I elbowed him, a silent be nice to you're sister. Look how upset she is.
Drew just rolled his eyes again at my reaction and stuck out his tongue at me, too which I mouthed; Oh so very mature, but stuck my tongue out back at him anyway. He smirked before shuffling away from my side and going over to the cabinet. I watched as he pulled out coffee mugs, and I was grateful; I definitely needed some warm, soothing coffee.
But I made sure to continue all my attention on Ally at the moment instead, who still was not breaking that pout of her's.
The thing is, I had to remember she was only five. (Nearly six) So I could stand here for hours, wasting my time trying to convince her that she was going to have a fantastic time at the house next door, that she could make the best of it and could even bring her toys. I could tell her that there was no way they could be that bad, and that no one was just not fun- but even if I were to say all of this, she'd probably ignore me. She didn't care about what I would say to try and persuade her, or even what Drew would say- she was only a kid.
So, instead, I went for a compromise. I leaned even farther forward on the counter, and said in the lowest whisper I could manage; "Don't tell Drew, but if you go over to the neighbor's house and try to have a good time, I'll bring you ice cream when I come back."
Ally's face instantly transformed, her eyes lighting up like firecrackers and her pity scowl now stretching into a grin that reached all across her face.
"Ice cream?" She echoed, and I could already see the glimmer in her eye. Drew continued making clinking cup noises in the back, either on purpose or on accident- I wasn't quite sure which.
I feigned a thoughtful look, bringing my hand to my chin and straightening up. "Okay, maybe a cookie. Maybe both. Deal?"
I was convinced this would finally be the breakthrough to her anger, and, I was convinced we could keep it a secret from Drew; A win-win situation. Yet, I should've probably known better, because in excitement Ally jumped from her seat, screamed "Deal!" And then high-fived my hand which I had held out for a confirmation handshake, ran up the stairs and added, "I'm going to get my stuff and then I'll go!"
She was gone in a flash, the noise of her clambering throughout the upstairs the only evidence of her presence. I frowned; she had given our little arrangement away in only a matter of seconds. Drew laughed behind me, and I turned around to elbow him again, but he blocked it.
"If you keep doing that, you won't be getting any coffee." He teased, raising his eyebrows and scooping coffee grounds into the machine. He was still wearing that all too familiar grin, his eyes lighting up as he spoke. "I can't exactly make coffee with bruises, can I?"
Now I was the one rolling my eyes as I reached over him and clicked the start button, and replied while containing a laugh as well; "That would be okay. You're coffee sucks anyway."
He pretended to look hurt, but gave up and smiled instead. "So, what did you promise Ally in that deal of your's? She can be quite the manipulator, you know."
"Only a mouth full of cavities. No big deal, really." Drew pulled the coffee creamer from the fridge, then made his way over to the drawer to pull of a couple of mixing spoons. He handed one to me. "Thanks." I said.
He tapped his spoon against the counter a few times, letting silence pass around the kitchen with only the sound of Ally's footsteps still scurrying around upstairs.
"I can't believe we're going back to the record store today." He admitted eventually, taking a deep breath. "It feels like an eternity since we've been there."
I was about to agree, before Ally made a loud, and particularly excited reappearance as she hurried down the steps and nearly tripped over her own feet. She had a sack of toys slung around her shoulder, and Drew asked her if she was ready to go. She said she was, so they both took a moment to wave at me before they left behind the kitchen and he walked her next door.
Right as it shut behind them, I caught another wisp of their conversation, but this time it was clear. Ally, who was absolutely ecstatic as she was leaving, said; "You know, it's up to you how fun you make it-"
I smiled, and then, the coffee maker began to beep.
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The drive to the record store couldn't really be considered a drive, but instead, a race against the rain on Drew's motorcycle.
It had started to fall lightly as we left behind the house, still briefly smelling of coffee even after getting ready, but it was getting more relentless by the minute. The slanted, forceful drops had increased to the point that by the time we reached downtown, we were nearly soaked.
As soon as we had arrived we ran into the store, shivering and doing our best not to get everything wet. But that proved to be quite a difficult challenge, seeing as every time we took a step drops of water would roll down us and onto the carpet, dissolving into little dark puddles.
The store was exactly the way we left it; records in place, shelves neat and dusted, the floor swept and the counter organized. It still had the same scent of mustiness and cleaner, it still held the same comforting atmosphere that I adored.
Since the sunlight basically nonexistent, we had to flick on more lights then usual, getting distracted occasionally by the sound and look of rain drops clashing into the display windows and falling helplessly and with incredible speed.
The first thing Drew did after he had become decently dry was place a record in the record player, starting it from the beginning and letting it play. I smiled when it's rustic sound filled the room, realizing it was one of The Beatles albums: pretty much the only ones we ever played. But I loved that, the sense of familiarity and the feeling that nothing had changed, that everything was just as it was before. But everything had changed.
It made me think about all the time I had really spent in here, all the conversations, all the jokes, all the arguments- everything that I had been through with Drew, everything that had happened with Odie.
It seemed that in the small amount of time I had worked here, my entire life had changed drastically. Even I had changed as a person; no longer that stubborn, pessimistic girl who didn't have a care in the world about anything other than what I was going to be spending my summer doing. Yet, somewhere deep within me, I also longed for it to be like that again- when it was less complicated and every day didn't bring new challenges to face.
But, I had to also remember; in this time, I had met someone who now meant more to me than I could ever explain, someone who I can't imagine where I would be without.
Isn't so ironic? How you have no idea that your life can change in one simple event, one little twist of fate. You can never see it coming, you can never expect it or prepare for it or even try and stop it.
Though, what had happened to me; my chain of events, my specific twist of fate- I wouldn't change it for anything. Because even though I would never be the same, never be who I was again from before I met Drew, I was glad. I didn't want to be that old person anymore, I wanted to be who I was now. I wanted to be who I was with him; the person who brought the best out of me, made me see everything in a new perspective.
So I hummed to the hymns of the music, it's rhythm resonating throughout me as I glided around the store and memories played endlessly in my mind.
I think that's what I liked most about records. The way songs sounded so different when they were older and played out into a room, the noise of the hardly audible static you could hear if you were trying hard enough. Because it made you feel as if the music was playing from inside of you, somewhere deep within, and it flowed out- muffled and marvelous, creating a song so utterly and entirely divine.
"Hailey!" Drew interrupted my thoughts as his voice drifted from somewhere in the back room, and my eyes opened- I hadn't even realized they were closed.
"Hailey!" He yelled again, as I stumbled towards where his voice was coming from. "I need your help really quick- there's a bucket in the supply closet, please bring it over here! Hurry!" His tone sounded worried, constricted- causing me brief confusion.
But I obliged to his instructions, immediately heading to the supply closet near the back room and swinging the door open with exceptional speed. My eyes scanned around the small closet for the bucket, and it took me a while to find it, piled underneath brooms and other cleaning supplies. I reached down to snatch it from its location, tugging the handle and running into the back room to find Drew.
I saw him as soon as I entered, spotting him in Odie's office. He was in the middle of pushing a couch across the room- only a more suitable reason to cause me further confusion- and I scrambled to his side. Once he had finished, I handed him the bucket and he nodded at me, adding a "Thanks" at the end.
"Why do you need a bucket?" I questioned, examining him closely. He ruffled his hair, his eyes gleaming and he bent over and positioned the bucket in a specific spot where the couch had rested only moments ago. "And why did you move the couch across the room?"
He looked towards the roof, and I followed to where his eyes led. He pointed to a certain spot, his long arm extended beside me. "Look," he said in an amused tone, "There's a leak. I had to move the couch so it didn't damage the leather and so I could stick a bucket on the floor to collect all the water."
I hadn't noticed it from my previous glance, but now, as I stared at the roof above me; I saw the small but obvious crack, releasing a stream of water droplets from its break. I shifted on my feet, my gaze locked on it as I crossed my arms.
It's presence made me uneasy, like somehow this crack probably lead to many others that would collect and eventually make the whole room cave in. Water continued to spurt out of it and began to splash into the bucket, and I looked back towards Drew.
"Do you think there's more?" I asked him, and he raised his eyebrows in thought. "And what happens if it just keeps raining- how do we fix it?'
He was biting the inside of his cheek, teetering back and forth on his feet. "I don't know. It can't rain for that much longer, it's been raining all day; so it has to stop sometime. I say we just wait it out and fix it once it's over."
I had agreed with him then, because I believed what he had said to be true. We abandoned the bucket soon after and continued on with our day, not giving it any more thought or attention. The time passed so quickly, the day shrinking into the afternoon; all with no sunlight. Lunch had been a particularly interesting challenge, since it was still raining heavily and only getting worse. We had ran across the street to some random sandwich shop and then ran back, which had given us enough food to settle our stomachs for the time being. We just had to deal with getting soaked again.
Odie called somewhere in the middle, just to see how everything was going. We told him it was fine, that he shouldn't worry in anyway whatsoever, to enjoy his vacation and say hi to everyone for us. Odie said okay, and hung up after Lacy- his wife- had asked for his help with something. We said quick goodbyes and hung up the phone as well.
Overall, it was a normal day. Drew had to occasionally dump out the leak bucket in the back room, because it filled up continuously and without prevail. Since we had nothing to do, and had no customers as per usual, (though no one was getting customers today, the weather was too much for visits downtown) we spent it all in each other's company.
We found a deck of cards and played a few rounds of games, we tested out a bunch of records we found smashed behind the couches, we laughed and laughed and talked about everything and nothing and how great it was to have an empty day schedule.
But of course, nothing was ever that easy. The rain didn't stop, even though Drew had sworn it would. It just rained, and rained, and rained. A few more leaks sprung out in different areas of the shop, and we had to start using random objects laying around to catch all the water so it didn't damage the floor. Needless to say, dumping them out had become nearly a full time job within itself, because they just kept refilling over and over again.
The sounds of the drops hitting the window was now no longer soothing, but a brutal pounding against the glass, and I was solely convinced they were going to shatter at any moment. But that was unlikely.
Thunder and lightning had also appeared, occasionally making us jump as the sky flashed with great persistence, or the noise would blast out every other sound and frighten us for a few moments.
And it only got worse, not better. Down the street, we caught glimpses of other workers shoving towels under their doors, trying to prevent anything from seeping in and ruining merchandise. But we waited it out, just like Drew had suggested.
We weren't exactly worried, at least not until we turned on a radio, and a flood warning was on.
It was announced that streets were beginning to turn into dangerous areas, and driving, at all costs; should be temporarily avoided for safety cautions. People should remain inside; as it was plausible to believe this rain could last throughout the night, and as the hours pass, only increase in hazard.
We were sitting on the couch when this was said, and looked over at one another with blank faces. But we were both thinking the same thing- if the rain was to last throughout the night like this, there was no way we would be able to get back to the house until morning. Especially since we had came on a motorcycle, and not a car.
"Jesus." Drew said, shaking his head. "At least the couches are comfortable."
I knew it was suppose to be a joke, but I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge it. All I could think about was what the announcement had told us, and if everyone was okay or not.
And then the lights went out.
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End of chapter 24! Once again, thank you all for being so incredibly patient. I was writing this chapter and had planned to make it longer, but I knew I had put off updating for way longer than I had promised, so I decided to just update what I had. I hope you all liked it. And I made this chapter mostly description, because the next one will have a lot of conversation.
The question for this chapter is; What do you think the title of this chapter means? (Notice it's part one, so the next will be part two.)
Remember to vote, vote, comment, vote, comment, comment, or leave any kind of questions/ remarks you may have.
And remember to come back for the next chapter of MRSR! (I promise, it will not be another month until the next update like it was this time.)