Thirty-Four:
"I didn't sleep with her."
The words were replaying themselves on a constant loop, rattling around and bouncing off the walls of my brain to the point where I couldn't take it anymore.
Sitting across from Austin in Starbucks, forcing myself to listen to him talk while the words sat on the tip of my tongue, was absolute torture. I had been conflicted; I wanted to tell Austin so badly, to blurt out everything that had just happened, but a bigger part of me was scared. What if he didn't believe it? What if he thought I was pathetic for even thinking about what Trent had told me?
So I'd kept it to myself, cutting our time together short on the grounds of not feeling well, which was pretty believable considering the cold I was still getting over.
It was now Thursday, marking almost 24 whole hours since Trent dropped the bomb on me, and I feared I would go insane if I kept it to myself any longer.
Sharing a class with Lauren didn't help matters, either. It only seemed to make things worse for me, especially due to the fact that it was almost physically impossible for me to keep a secret from anyone, let alone my best friend.
The second I opened the door to Honors English and saw Lauren, I imagined myself throwing my arms up and yelling, "He didn't sleep with her!"
Instead, I bit my lip and trudged towards my desk, staying silent as I sat down.
I felt her eyeing me sideways as I stared ahead, bouncing my leg up and down and practically humming with nerves.
"You okay?" She asked.
My eyes flicked sideways as I gave a sharp nod. "Yep. Fine. Just...had a little too much coffee this morning. Hah, you know what caffeine can do to me sometimes!" I gave a nervous laugh.
Her forehead wrinkled, her mouth turning down into a frown of skepticism. "Yeah...I guess it's good to see you so energetic again."
She briefly turned away from me to accept Tyler's greeting kiss when he arrived next to her at his desk, before facing me again. "Anyway, how was coffee with Austin yesterday?"
I sighed a little, somewhat grateful to get my mind off my own thoughts. "It was fine. He's been a good friend lately."
"Yeah? And how did Trent feel about that?"
I balked. "Doesn't matter. And thanks for that, by the way. Don't think I didn't notice the way you basically called him down there."
Mr. Brooks finally rose from his desk with a steaming mug of coffee in hand, no doubt about to finally start his lesson, but it didn't stop Lauren from giving a self-satisfied shrug while answering me. "Sorry, you guys had to start talking out your problems at some point."
I bit my tongue, grumbling under my breath in response.
Lauren arched a dark eyebrow in question. "Soo, did you?"
"Did we what?" I rolled my eyes.
"Did you talk it out?"
Yes! No! Maybe!
He didn't sleep with her!
"Not really. He was just mad about me seeing Austin and that was pretty much it." I lowered my voice when I noticed the people around us stop talking. "Why? Did he say anything to you?"
Lauren glanced from the front of the room to me, shaking her head. "No," she answered in a whisper. "But don't think I won't be getting some answers soon enough."
...
Lauren's last words rang true for me less than two hours later, when I stumbled upon the last person I expected to see.
I took the bathroom pass during fifth period; the extra large tea I drank at lunch finally seemed to be hitting me. I never made it into a stall, though, because the first sight that greeted me when I passed through the door was the hunched over form of a girl, strawberry-blonde folds of hair covering her face as she sat on the floor.
The wedged heel of my boot hitting the linoleum gave away any chance I had of backing out unnoticed. The head of hair lifted, and Grace looked at me with tear-stained cheeks.
Her face brightened a little, then fell again when my glare registered with her. "Audrey," she sniffled.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Grace."
My mind immediately went back to the last time I saw her. She'd been just stepping away from Trent, hair damp and wrapped in just a white towel, the same as he was. She'd looked up as soon as she heard me, flashing an almost apologetic smile.
She was giving me that same smile now; weak, as if she didn't want to meet my eyes but was forcing herself to. "I know you must be mad, but-"
"Did you sleep with him?" Any semblance of patience was out the window at that point, and I was suddenly very desperate to get to the truth.
She shook her head rapidly back and forth, slowly bracing a hand to the floor as she prepared to stand up. "No. I mean, almost, but he stopped it."
"He stopped it?" A wave of relief hit me at this revelation, yet it hurt, at the same time, that she wasn't the one to.
She let out a nervous laugh, sounding something akin to embarrassed as she turned to the mirror. She went on talking, simultaneously wiping at the mascara smudges under her eyes. "Yeah. He, like, completely changed his mind right then and there."
Annoyance prickled my skin, along with the feeling that I was only growing more confused. "Listen, Grace, I don't know what the hell happened, but I thought we were friends. So I think the least you could do is give me a proper explanation."
She spun away from the mirror, pushing back her hair with both hands. "Audrey, we are! Or we were, at least. Either way, I never meant to hurt you."
I rolled my eyes. Hard. "Right. Whatever. Explain."
She looked away from me again. "It's stupid, now that I think about it, but the truth is...my ex boyfriend recently dumped me and I just, I don't know, wanted to make him jealous!"
I cocked my head to the side, giving her a look to say I wanted her to continue. "Obviously, Trent is one of the hottest guys at this school, not to mention the most popular. I thought if I could just sleep with him and the news of it got back to my ex, he'd be jealous and want me back."
Bile rose to the back of my throat. I tried to never really judge anyone, but I couldn't even imagine throwing my body around so carelessly, for such a petty reason.
"But...something changed, right?" I asked hesitantly after getting over my initial shock.
She nodded. "Yeah...that morning, I saw him grab a towel and head into his bathroom for a shower, so I decided to try and join him."
She paused when she saw me flinch at that, the guilty expression taking hold of her once again.
"And I'm being honest when I tell you I really thought we were alone in the house, Audrey."
That wouldn't have made a difference, I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue. I just gave a sharp nod, waiting to hear more. "So we were both in there and things were, you know, moving along, but then he just stopped."
Her tears were completely gone now; all that was left were her bright green eyes that grew dimmer as her voice dropped. "He pushed me away and said that he 'couldn't do this right now', and that everyone would probably be getting back soon."
A small weight seemed to be lifted from my chest. It wasn't like he completely rejected her, or was even thinking about me, but the knowledge that he couldn't go through with it in the end made me feel significantly better.
"We were standing by his room, saying goodbye, and I was just telling him I was sorry I basically threw myself at him when you opened the door and saw us."
My hands started to develop a shake that was all too familiar, so I tucked them angrily underneath my arms, crossing them tighter.
Grace stepped away from the mirror, moving so that we were standing eye-to-eye, her just slightly shorter than me. "So, you see, it wasn't really what it looked like."
I rocked backwards on the heel of my boot, sucking in my left cheek in thought. "But Austin told me you were bragging about it to your friends?"
She bit her lip, quickly dropping her gaze to the floor. "I figured even if it didn't really happen, I'd pretend it did to see how it affected my ex."
Judging by her crumpled, crying form I'd discovered upon walking in there, that didn't seem to be working out too well.
I glanced at Grace again. "Well, thanks for telling me the truth."
The sound of footsteps passing just outside the door reminded me it was still 5th period, and I'd been out of class for a very long time now. I started to back towards the doorway. "I've got to get back to class."
"Wait," she reached an arm out, making me stand still. "Are we...friends?"
I pulled my arm away. "You definitely knew I had feelings for Trent, and you tried to sleep with him anyway. So, no, we're not friends."
My eyes traced over her form again, from her loose waves of hair to the black converse on her feet. "But I don't hate you or anything, either. We're just...okay."
She gave a small nod, giving me a few parting words as I left the bathroom. "I know what I think probably doesn't matter to you, but I really hope it works out between you two."
I gave her a small shake of my head, a smile almost coming to rest on my face. Now that the truth was out, I felt an inner sense of calm that left me knowing what to do.
Later, as US government was wrapping up and Trent had spent the class sitting silently next to me, I nudged him on the forearm.
He looked up, and I kept my voice at a whisper due to the two minutes we still had left of class. "We need to talk."
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Hey guys!
This chapter wasn't as long as the last few but I hope you liked it anyway...and the next chapter won't take anywhere near as long as this to update!
P.S. Check out the awesome cover posted above, made for me by the lovely @creativemagic !
Go ahead and check out her stories while you're at it 😋