Love covers you up in a landslide
Love pulls you under like a riptide
Love's when you crash trying to hang glide
Love's when you run and then there's no light
....
Now, the next task at hand was to get passed her parents' questioning and any risk of them noticing her puffy eyes. Perhaps, if she were to walk slowly enough, the swelling would go down and she could avoid such problems. But, it was just her luck that she could feel the familiar pull on her eyes with a blur in her vision.
Just walk quickly, she advised herself, walking as fast as her legs could carry her. The happenings of tonight were all too much for the blonde. Her idiocy and Killian's persistence were enough to tip her over the edge and hurt not just one, but two, people in the process. Why did she ever allow him the satisfaction of believing that he had won her over? And why hadn't he accepted what she had said?
Was he really just so dense, or did he not believe her?
Whatever the reason for his actions, Emma could not forgive him. Those very actions had hurt the person that the blonde had cared for the most and, worst yet, resulted in something that may never be fixed.
But maybe that was just Emma's overemotional mind speaking at the moment. All Regina needed was time.
But, oh god, time seemed to be agonizing to think of. Emma wasn't even able to talk to the brunette, let alone see her, before Regina's disappearance. That made her heart just ache and squeeze in her chest so painfully. It was like a thousand needles pressing into her, pinning her to the harsh realities of life and the true meaning of heartbreak.
It hadn't even been an hour since, but that was enough to feel like a lifetime. It was enough to bring the blonde's entire world around her, crashing, breaking at her feet. Short memories clouding her mind, both significant and not, playing on repeat. Each a turning point in their relationship, that Emma had dubbed to be rather major.
Meeting Regina was the first. Then their first lunch. Their first real talk. The first time that Regina had brought Emma home, and the events beforehand in the diner. Their first kiss, that special night in the Mercedes, parked in front of her apartment. The first time she had ever gone to Regina's, and their first date there. And then the trip to Boston and every special event that happened there; their first time being the one that stuck in Emma's head the longest.
Especially when they first said-
"Honey, what's wrong? You look like you've been crying." Mary Margaret's voice pulled Emma from her thoughts. The blonde hadn't even realized that she had made her way upstairs and into the apartment until she took a good look around. It was like she hadn't noticed that she had stopped crying, and a while ago, too, telling by the dried tears on her face. It wasn't like she had cared, anyways.
"I'm fine." Emma shrugged and tried to push passed her adoptive mother. She could feel the urge to break down and cry rising with every breath. It always seemed to happen when she had such an emotional thought on the brain while others were talking to her. Usually it was only with Mary Margaret or David. It must have been that internal urge to confide and get comforted by someone close to her.
"You aren't fine. Something's wrong. Please, Emma." The pixie-haired woman pleaded, but it was David who had pulled her back, letting the blonde escape towards the kitchen.
Emma tried her best to keep from any eye contact with the two of them as she shuffled through the fridge and pulled out a small container of kumquats before running off upstairs. As she ascended each step, she could hear the two of them urgently talking to one another- no doubt about her questionable state.
She didn't care. She cared about nothing at the moment. All she wanted was Regina. But the brunette disappeared, no doubt hurt and alone. And that had only pulled Emma deeper into that pit that she absolutely despised. It was what she had tried to avoid at all costs and had never seemed to have a problem with it since meeting Regina.
But, now, she was spiraling back down the mountain that she had tried so hard to climb. That ray of sunshine that spoke to her through the inky blackness of the cave she resided had disappeared, leaving everything to close in around her.
She hated being trapped.
"Maybe I'm overreacting? We didn't even talk..." The blonde muttered to herself, pulling her phone from her jacket pocket before tossing the article of clothing aside. She checked the messages, just in case.
Nothing.
"Please, Regina..." Emma looked at her phone expectantly before quickly pulling up the new message screen and typed something in.
I know that you're angry at me and I know that you want time... But, please, Regina. I really want to talk to you. I want to explain. I'll give you all the time that you need, just please... respond to me.
But, upon reading what she had written, she deleted it. That sounded too damned desperate, for sure. She'd probably only turn Regina away if she were to send that message.
Tossing her phone aside, she lay back against her bed and sighed, placing the container of small fruit on her stomach and dug her pocket knife out of her nightstand drawer. She must wait. She needed time.
Time.
Time was an enemy, and Emma's worst. She hated it more than anything, especially when it forced her to wait for something that she did not necessarily want to have to wait for. It was a ridiculous concept; time.
But that was the only thing to do to pass the time and not think of the things that would bring tears to her eyes; insulting time.
Well, it was working for a few minutes, until she had gotten bored of insulting time and began to think of that woman. How could she be so stupid as to let her go like that? How could she be so stupid to go with Killian to the dance? She only had regrets. She regretted going to the Winter Formal at all. She regretted not moving away from that kiss fast enough. She regretted ever staying for lunch with Ms. Mills.
No.
No, she didn't regret that. There was no possible way that she would regret ever choosing the path of the only pure joy that she had ever experienced. How could she even think about regretting doing something like that? It must have just been her mind and the bitterness of the kumquats controlling her brain.
She set the container aside and closed her eyes. What was there to do to pass the time? What amount of time was sufficient enough to contact Regina?
"Emma?" A masculine voice called from the doorway to her bedroom.
The blonde's eyes popped open, head whipping to the side to see David standing there with a tentative look in his blue eyes.
"May I come in?"
"If you want the kumquats back, they're on my nightstand." Emma tossed onto her other side and brought the blanket beside her over her head.
"Emma, what's wrong?" He asked, though his voice was calm and soft. The blonde could hear footsteps as he made his way across the room to her bed. "It will make you feel better if you say it."
"No, it won't." Emma grumbled, curling up in her spot and tugging the covers tighter against her. "Nothing will make me feel better."
"What happened, honey?" There was a dip in the mattress as he perched on the edge of the bed, causing the blonde's body to slightly roll towards him.
Emma sighed and brought the blanket down, resting it underneath her arms as she gazed up at her father with large, green eyes, shimmering with unshed tears. "I fucked up."
"You fucked up how?"
"I hurt someone that I really care about without meaning to. I-it was someone else's fault, but sh- they didn't see all of what happened... And... A-and I fucked up, David. I fucked up so badly..." Emma turned into the man's arms as the tears building up upon his arrival had sprung free, a terrible sob ripping from her throat.
"Oh, baby..." David held the blonde close, a hand caressing the back of her head. "I'm here... Emma, I'm here for you."
The blonde hadn't dared to respond. She couldn't. Instead, she squeezed him tighter, his musky cologne filling her senses as she buried her face in his shirt. It wasn't long until Emma could hear another pair of feet journey up the stairs, urgently moving as soon as they had hit the landing. Soon enough, the weight of Mary Margaret had dipped the mattress further down, and another set of arms were around Emma.
"What happened?"
"I don't know..." David's response was a whisper. The blonde had now calmed for the most part, although she couldn't help the soft sobs that escaped every so often into her father's shirt. "She said that she had... screwed up. Something about her hurting someone by accident, but it was someone else's fault? That's all I got out of her."
"Oh, my darling..." Mary Margaret's lips pressed soothing kisses against blonde locks. "It'll all be alright, Emma..."
"You don't know that..." Emma's voice was muffled against David, but the woman must have heard her clear enough.
"And why not?"
"Because I fucked up everything. Up the ass, mind you. With a cactus. Covered in barbed-wire."
"Emma!"
"It's true! There's no coming back from this." The blonde pushed away from her father and sat up to stare at the two with red, puffy eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and snot covered nose.
"It always gets worse before it gets better." She tried to reassure the teenager, but Emma only shook her head.
"I don't know if this will..."
"Just give it time, Emma." Mary Margaret sighed. "David said that you had accidentally hurt someone?"
"Yeah..."
"Talk to them?"
"I've tried to, but she won't answer." And, really, Emma didn't want to discuss this with her parents, of all people.
"Then wait. Give her time. Time is usually best in these situations-"
"I hate time!" Emma slammed the palms of her hands on the bed. "It only makes things worse!"
"Emma, honey, what I think your mother is trying to say is that, although time may be painful now, it will be worth it later on, when the waiting is over." David cut in before his wife could protest the blonde's words. He knew how both his wife and daughter worked. If Mary Margaret were to go too far, and he knew when that point would be, Emma would only get angrier and close up on them.
The sheriff shifted on the bed, his eyes focused on Emma's face. "Just think about when enough time has passed and you contact... her. Things will get better, won't they?"
"Only if she wants to talk to me about what had happened." Emma mumbled, emerald orbs sliding towards the phone that she left on the nightstand. She kept her gaze there as the other two watched her with frowning, sympathetic faces.
Maybe she would try to text Regina in an hour.
"Would you like us to leave you alone?" David finally asked after a few minutes of silence. The blonde only nodded and curled back up on her bed as she watched as both he and Mary Margaret stood, the latter picking up the container of small fruit.
"If you need anything, dear, don't hesitate to ask, okay?" Her mother whispered softly.
"I will."
"Goodnight, Emma."
"Try to have a good night, honey."
"Yeah. I'll see." Emma shrugged and watched them, frowning again, as they made their way to the door. Good thing that they didn't dare pry for more information or stay to bug her. They knew that something was off, and more than usual when she was in such a mood.
...
It had been three hours after her parents had left her alone. And two since Emma had sent the first text.
There still hadn't been a response, nor one to the second message that she had sent an hour prior. The blonde didn't want to seem too desperate though, as she had contemplated sending even a third text to Regina. She had set her phone aside and let that night's events run through her mind once again.
"What did I do?" she whispered, fingers closing around the pocket knife that she had been playing with for the past three hours. A funny thought, although not humorous, had brought itself to Emma's mind. It had passed through a few times beforehand as she sat here, contemplating her life and how worthless it would be knowing that Regina wouldn't live it with her.
She had remembered thinking this a few weeks back. The day before she went to Boston, if she thought correctly. She had been sitting in detention and messaging Regina on the phone. It was one of the first times that they had spilt their feelings towards each other, or at least the deeper parts. It was a sort of joke at the moment, when she had sent the "because without you, my brain would be in shambles." Before Regina had taken it a step deeper, Emma had thought something that she figured would never apply to her.
...because without you, my life would not be complete.
She only wondered if it were to apply to her now. Emma already felt this emptiness in her heart. Was that what it had meant? She would forever feel like this if Regina were not with her? Oh, god, hopefully she would never have to find out. Hopefully the brunette would want to resolve this.
"If you ever reply to me..." Emma sighed towards her phone once again and dropped the knife on her lap to pick the device up. Music usually cheered her up, or made her even more depressed than she was. But what if a song were to come on and deepen her mood? It would have to be a chance that she was willing to take for the moment. She'd hit herself later for making this decision.
After she picked out a good song to listen to, she picked the knife up once again and began to play with it. She always wondered why people hurt themselves with sharp objects when they were depressed, or whatever they were feeling when they did it. She didn't want to seem insensitive, but she just couldn't fathom why they would do it. But, of course, that was her. She hated pain. It wasn't something that she was partial to. Even growing up, she never grew used to the pain when getting into fights, or tripping, or walking into something, or even getting a paper cut.
Pain was not Emma's friend, but she had always wondered what it felt like when one would physically harm themselves. She had heard people say that it felt good. That it got rid of the emotional pain. But that was from limited sources, since she wasn't all very interested in the idea.
Emma had to admit, at times, she contemplated the idea of hurting herself. It was usually at times like this, when she was shoved deep into depression and everything around her didn't seem to spark a smile. The idea of death was far better than the idea of living and it felt as if no one could change her mind. Hell, even when she was sober from her depression, she couldn't imagine why someone wanted to live and had often times thought about taking her life.
But that was going a step too far, and she knew it. She couldn't off herself. Especially not now. No. But... she could always dip her toe into this. Find out what it felt like. Find out if it were to work or not.
It was dangerous, she knew. It was like taking drugs prescribed to someone else. Everyone was different. Everyone handled things in a different way. In the way that they felt the most comfortable with. Some hurt themselves, while Emma listened to music. It was a long stretch, really, and quite the dangerous route to take. Her door was open (what door?), after all, and one of her parents could walk in at any given moment.
That was a risk that she wasn't willing to take. The blonde sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, sinking back against her pillows. She opened them once again to begin playing with the blade of the knife, careful not to cut herself accidentally, and listened to the lyrics caressing the air.
...
Love is a sword when you've got no defense
Love is the rock we throw ourselves against
Love is the healing of a broken heart
The story behind all of my favorite scars
...
"Yes, she's upstairs."
"She might still be asleep."
"She had a rough night."
"Just poke her to wake her."
"Thanks." The last voice was different than the first two, which Emma had concluded were her parents. But the third was someone completely different.
The blonde sat up in her bed, eyes wide as the sound of footsteps coming closer only had her movements hastier. The time was sufficient enough for her to gather herself as the source of the footsteps appeared in her doorway.
"Graham?"
"Yeah. Where were you?" The man stepped closer to Emma's bed, stopping at the side with a quirked brow. "Your parents said you came home and went straight up here. Ruby and Belle tried to contact you, but you wouldn't answer."
"I must have fallen asleep." Emma shrugged, her eyes falling to her lap.
"But you left early. I thought you were going to leave with Ruby and Belle?" Graham cocked his head to one side, thumbs in his pockets. "They barely saw you at the dance."
"Well, I didn't see them."
"Did you even go?"
"Yeah. And it was the worst mistake of my life." Emma snapped, scooting to the corner of her bed. With a frown, her friend perched on the edge of the mattress and looked at the blonde.
"Well, I knew that you didn't like dances, but I didn't think this much." His eyes skated over her bed, covered in blankets, and landed on her face after finding nothing to answer whatever question he had floating around.
"It's not because of that." The blonde rolled her eyes and brought her knees to her chest.
"Ruby said you went with Killian." Graham's brow rose once again. "I thought you were dating Regina?"
"I... am." Emma guided her attention to her toes. Unclipped and boring.
"Oh..."
"I didn't fucking cheat on her, if that's what you think." She hissed, snapping her head up. "I told her that I was going with him. She was there, too, but as one of the teacher chaperone peoples. We... we were supposed to dance after... Killian and I were done. Sneak out, y'know?"
"What happened?" His voice was quiet.
"Shit. I fucked up." Emma shrugged.
"Emma. What happened?" Graham repeated himself, this time, his voice not showing any sign of play. No dancing around the subject. Of course, that was Graham. When he wanted answers, he got them. Emma was glad that he was able to keep his secrets.
"Killian Jones happened." Emma snarled. "I even told him... I-I told him before we got into the gym."
"Told him what?"
"That I liked chicks." She muttered, tugging at a lock of hair. "He was joking when he asked, but I answered him seriously. I thought... he had taken me seriously."
"What the hell did he do?"
Emma balled her fists and brought her gaze to meet with Graham's. "It was a slow song playing and he insisted we danced. I wanted to reject it, and I regret not doing so now... And then he kissed me. Halfway through the song, he put his hands on my ass and kissed me."
"He kissed you? Is that what this is-... Wait." Graham's eyes lit up as he put the pieces to this puzzle together and the full image lay in front of him. "You said Regina was there, correct?"
"Uh, yeah..."
"I take it that she saw..."
"Yes." Emma quickly answered. "And she ran off. I couldn't find her."
"You couldn't find her?"
"Yeah." The blonde shrugged. "I tried to call her, but she didn't answer..."
And then she began to feel the familiar tug of tears and the blur in her vision. She could never manage to make it. It brought tears to her eyes knowing Regina was probably hurt. It was the last thing that she had ever wanted to happen to the brunette.
"Emma..."
"I can't believe that I hurt her like this." Emma buried her face in her hands, taking several deep breaths to calm herself, easing the constriction in her throat.
"But, didn't Killian kiss you? Didn't... you stop it?"
"I tried. I did. I pushed him away. But she didn't see that, I don't think..."
Graham leaned forward, his head tilted to one side as he stared at the blonde with keen interest. "Didn't you tell her what happened?"
"I couldn't get a hold of her. She was gone before I even made it out of the gym." Emma shifted, taking a deep inhalation of air as she pressed her back to the headboard.
"Why wouldn't she answer you?"
"I don't know... I don't know! She's probably hurt... The way we looked and that song... She probably thinks that I did it on purpose. She probably thinks I hurt her on purpose."
"Emma, calm down..." He frowned and reached out to set a gentle hand on her forearm, giving it a squeeze. "Did you try contacting her after that?"
"Yeah. I sent her three texts." The blonde grabbed her phone from the nightstand and woke it up. No new messages.
"And I called her twice. The first time, she didn't pick up. And the second... it was dial tone."
"Shit..."
"Yeah, shit. I fucked up!" Emma threw her phone across the room, causing it to break apart. The back flew away from the front, and the battery landed in one of the blonde's shoes. "I fucking love her and I fucked it up. How the hell am I going to survive knowing that she hates my guts?"
"Emma..." Graham's voice was nothing but a mere sigh. His hand slid from the blonde's forearm to rest on her trembling back. "You have to give it some time. More time. You're overreacting. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours, yet. I'm pretty sure you'd need time too, if something were to happen to you in a similar situation."
"Time! Time time time time time! I hate time!"
"Yeah? Well, you'll just have to live with it! Time is a part of life that cannot be helped and time is needed in order for things to progress. You have to shut up and open your eyes, Emma! I know you're better than this! The Emma I know doesn't sit around and mope about time and some girl! She would go out there, kicking ass and taking names. She would make the best of the situation. Take the bull by the horns. Get your mind off Regina and busy yourself so you don't have to burden yourself with it. Live a little and deal with it later because right now, you will only make matters worse by bitching and moaning. Let time run its course, and before you know it, things will start to get better. I know that it sounds like a load of bullshit right now, but trust me... It will get better."
Emma's eyes were as wide as saucers as she lifted her gaze to meet with her friend's. She could only nod, because she knew that he was right. This wasn't her. And by just sitting here, nothing was going to get accomplished. Everything will just go on agonizingly slow. The burdening thoughts in her mind were just eating away at her brain until there would be nothing left, and she needed that damned thing in order to make up with Regina.
"Good. Now, why don't you get your ass ready and come with me. Ruby, Belle, and I planned on doing some stuff today, but you won't know until you find out." He coaxed, scooting himself off the bed. "Leave that damn phone here, too. It's all broke anyways."
"What if... What if she calls?"
"Who the fuck cares! Do you want her to know that you've been wasting your life away at that phone for her?"
"Yes!" Emma protested, scrambling from her spot to the edge of the bed where she nearly clobbered the man sitting there.
"Well, fuck her!"
She blanched and muttered, "... I do."
Graham stood there for a moment before turning around to spot a pair of socks on the floor, the ones from yesterday, no doubt, and picked them up to toss at Emma's face, both his brows raised.
"Get ready. And if you're not downstairs in five minutes, I'm dragging you with me despite what you're wearing- with or without that phone." And with that, he was stomping out of the room.
Emma made haste at gathering her phone first, putting the pieces back together to stuff the entirety of it in her sweater pocket. Luckily the damned thing didn't shatter. Her parents would have been pissed.
Nibbling on her lower lip, she quickly tried to find a pair of jeans to pull on and slipped the socks that Graham had thrown at her on as well. Her shoes were by the door, so it was rather easy to slip them on before jogging down the stairs to meet with Mary Margaret and Graham, chatting at the kitchen table.
"You threw your phone?" The pixie-haired woman's stern question startled Emma at the bottom of the stairs.
"Y-yeah..."
"Why? Is it broke?"
"No. And... I was angry." The blonde slowly walked over to her mother, shooting Graham daggers on her way. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
"You better not. That thing is expensive."
"I won't." She repeated.
Graham stood from his spot, a smirk playing on his face as he headed towards the door with an expectant look.
"Don't stay out too late." Mary Margaret warned, gazing up at her daughter.
"No promises. I might stay the night with Ruby and Belle. I'll text you."
"Emma..." Her mother sighed, playing with the mug of coffee in her hands.
"Graham's only here for these two-"
"Actually I'm on winter break. I'll be here for a couple weeks." Graham interrupted, raising a hand. "So..."
"Thanks..." Emma rolled her eyes, one arm crossing over the other.
Mary Margaret bit her lower lip before speaking, looking up at her daughter with those same eyes from last night. "You can stay the night, dear, since it'll be a school week next week."
"Yeah, only four days. Stupid finals..." The blonde muttered, but smiled and bent down to wrap her arms around the brunette. "Thank you!"
"Yes... Now, go! Before I change my mind."
"Let's beat it, G-Cracker." Emma quickly made her way to the door, following behind her male friend as he made his way out.
...
"Where the hell were you?" Ruby immediately asked upon Emma's and Graham's arrival at the room the latter had booked for his stay.
She and Belle were both sitting on the couch, looking at the blonde with raised brows. Graham must have told them that he was going to retrieve Emma with the way they seemed so expectant for his arrival. Their arrival, she mended.
"Home."
"Come on. Why don't we go do something?" Graham suggested, gesturing his head towards the door. "We can go down to the docks like old times."
"Or go grab a bite at Granny's. I'm starving." Emma mumbled.
"Yeah."
"No! She's gotta tell us why she ditched us!" Ruby hoisted herself up from the couch and stalked over to Emma, a glare in her brown eyes. The other brunette was soon behind her, nodding.
"I didn't even see you there." Emma retorted. "So I left."
"You didn't look hard enough."
"We saw you." Belle was quick to add.
"Then why didn't you come to me?"
"Oh, honey, I'm pretty sure everyone saw you." The brunette waitress laughed, gently shoving the blonde's shoulder. "You were macking on Killian in the middle of the room. I wasn't going to interrupt that."
Emma growled and crossed her arms. "You should have."
"Let me guess, he did it without you wanting him to?"
"Do I really have to answer that or have you two already forgotten also?" The blonde rolled her eyes, shifting the weight from one foot to the other.
"What do you mean?" Belle asked calmly, stepping beside Ruby now to give her friend a concerned look.
"I told Killian before we even entered the dance. He kinda asked the wrong question and I sorta said yes. But, the thing that pissed me off, was that he kissed me anyways. And it just..." Emma trailed off, swallowing thickly at the memories that had happened afterwards.
"Is that why you went home so early, then? Did he upset you?" That was Ruby, taking a step forward as if to protect her.
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"I'll kill him..." The waitress growled. "I'm sorry that I insisted you go with that perv in the first place."
"It's fine..." Emma shrugged. "Can we just go eat and do something?"
"Emma wants to get her mind off things." Graham elaborated, stepping up from behind the blonde. "That's the only reason why I got her to come willingly with me."
"Fine." Ruby's eyes narrowed, focused on the blonde who returned the look with a quirked brow.
"What?"
"You'll be telling me more details later. Count on that."
"I won't!" Emma sing-songed, quickly making her way towards the door that connected with the diner on the other side of the room. She could hear Ruby scoff and yell something at her, while both Belle and Graham laughed, the latter speaking.
"Look who put you in your place."
"She won't last..." Ruby muttered, causing Emma to roll her eyes once again.
The four of them soon got situated in a booth, Ruby's replacement waitress- or so Emma liked to call her- took their orders. As they wait for their food and drinks, they began to reminisce with Graham. Most of it was things that Emma had talked with him about the weekend she went to Boston. How were his classes? Did he find anyone to date yet? How's the weather? What's your apartment like? Any new replacement friends?
Then he was asked about what they had done when Emma was up there, both Graham and Emma froze in their spots. Emma's doe-eyes stared blankly at Ruby, who had asked the question, as the man next to her did the same.
Hopefully they didn't look guilty, because they would get the wrong idea. She knew how Ruby's mind worked at times, and she would definitely assume they had done something considering the way they had frozen in place just now, despite Emma's whole being gay thing. No one ever seemed to consider it at times.
"We went to watch a show and ate dinner." Emma quickly muttered. "And, uh, went to a shop. I bought a necklace. That one I told you I got in Boston?"
"Oh, the one that you're wearing now?" Belle tilted her head, a finger rising to point at the swan pendant around her neck, contrasting against the black sweater that she wore.
"Yeah..." The blonde nodded, a hand immediately going up to capture the small pendant in her hand. It was the only part of Regina she had, and believe it or not, had helped her keep it together some of the time because it brought back those great memories.
"That's all? Sounds boring." The brunette teased.
"We talked, really. Most of the time we stayed at the apartment and watched television." Graham added with a shrug. He played with the glass of soda set in front of him as the waitress had come back with the drinks. "We couldn't really go anywhere. It was busy as hell."
"It still sounds boring. Why didn't you go to any clubs or anything? Do something fun?" Ruby smirked. Of course she would say that. She was always the one bringing them to the parties here in town. Emma didn't know why she enjoyed them so much. There were so many people, terrible body odor, distasteful music, and bad or lewd dancing. The only thing that Emma ever really liked about going to these parties were the food that they served. She was glad that Belle didn't like them, either, because it was usually Ruby and Graham dancing their way through the crowds.
"Because I know Emma hates them. It'd be pointless." He shrugged, sipping from his drink.
Emma did the same, a wry look on her face. "Unlike you, Ms. I'll-Drag-Your-Ass-There-Against-Your-Will."
"You end up liking-"
Belle slowly shook her head, leaving Ruby's words to fade into the air.
"It's too loud, Ruby. And Em only likes the food."
"True." The blonde nodded, bringing her burger close to her as it was sat on the table. "If there was one way to make me happy, it would be to give me food. I really like food."
"Yeah, we know." Ruby chuckled. "You always order, like, a jillion things when you're here."
"I have an idea about how we'll get Emma to feel better." Belle smiled widely. "Food. We'll have a food party tonight."
"And video games?" Emma peeped in hopefully. "Gaming goes good with food."
"Hell yeah, I'm up for that!" Graham whole-heartedly agreed, the widest smile on his face. "Then maybe I'll beat your ass at that game."
"Good luck." The blonde muttered, shoving a few french-fries in her mouth. Ruby and Belle both shook their heads with an eye roll. Typical them. They hated playing video games, or at least didn't like playing against Emma since she was quite the sore loser.
"You bitches will be playing with us. I have Mario Party, don't you worry." The blonde smirked.
"What, so you can scream at us when you lose a mini-game? I don't think so." Ruby quickly shook her head, although a playful smirk was evident on her face.
"What? No! I don't do that..."
"You go ballistic every time you lose and throw your controller." Belle quietly added in. "You bruised my arm last time."
"I won't do it. I promise." Emma pleaded, puffing out her lower lip in an attempt to guilt them into it. "Do it for me. The sad, sad little Emma that needs all cheered up."
"Yeah, come on guys. Do it for puppy-dog Ems." Graham shoved the blonde's side teasingly as the two gave a collective sigh.
"Fine."
"Sweet!" Emma grinned. That should definitely take her mind off the buzzing worries in it. Gaming usually helped, and a little ass-kicking would do her some good.
...
"That's so fucking unfair!" Emma screeched, throwing her controller across the living room of her apartment. Mary Margaret yelled a quick reprimand, but the blonde hadn't paid any attention.
"You lost fair and square, Emma!"
"No, I did not! That fucker pushed me off!" The blonde huffed, crossing her arms as she angrily sat back against the couch.
Ruby shook her head and smirked. "But that's the concept of the game."
"Stupid concept."
"My, god, you are a sore loser." Belle just shook her head as Graham had a party of his own, laughing like a hyena beside Emma.
"It's intense when we play those other games together. She bitches every time I shoot her." Graham continued to chuckle, patting Emma on the back.
"Mario Party is a friendship ruining game. Why did you guys let me play this?" The blonde absently mumbled, going to retrieve the controller that Mary Margaret had picked up from the kitchen.
"Emma, mind your language."
"Sorry..." Emma mumbled, heading back to the couch. "We should play something else."
"All games are winning/losing based; I don't think they're going to work out." Ruby flipped through the stack of game cases by the system, a brow quirked at her blonde friend. "So it's either this or some I-Spy shit."
"That's Mary Margaret's." Emma shooed the brunette waitress away from the screen as she rolled her dice to move.
"I know a game that you might like that has no winning or losing to it." Belle mumbled from the other side of the blonde, tentatively pressing buttons on her controller when it had become her turn.
"What is it?" Emma turned, suddenly curious as to what it would be. Of course, there were games like that, but most were boring as hell. She couldn't fathom why people would enjoy games where you search for things on a picture or whatever those games were about.
"It's for the computer." The brunette bookworm explained, which had Emma rolling her eyes. If Belle was about to suggest she play one of those puzzle games...
"It's called The Cat Lady."
"What?" Emma snorted. "That doesn't sound the least bit interesting, sorry. I don't want to play with herds of cats, or whatever the fuck."
"No. It's not like that at all. Really, it doesn't have much to do with cats themselves. I mean, you get to play a cat for five seconds, but it has a really beautiful storyline. I really think you should try it. I bet you'd like it."
"I don't know, Belle. The title itself is turning me off..." The blonde crinkled her brows.
"No, she's right. I watched her play it." Ruby twisted around to face the two from the floor and gave a wolfish grin. "There was a lot of blood and, in one scene, naked boobs."
"Boobs?" Emma smirked. "Blood? Now that sounds like my kind of game."
"Yeah, it's a horror game." Graham finally added. "I had seen some videos about it on the internet, but haven't played it myself. You die, but you're supposed to as a part of the storyline."
"Huh. Where do I get this from?" Emma asked, suddenly quite curious about this bloody, horror game. If it was as good as they said it was, she would surely enjoy it, right?
"I have a copy of it at home. You can have it." Belle smiled.
"So what's it like? I mean... How are things supposed to go? Are you a person, or what?"
"Yes. You're a woman, who is considered the cat lady, although the cats are all strays and all she does is feed them. But, uh, she's not like really old or crazy like you would make a cat lady out to be. She's depressed and commits suicide at the beginning of the game. But you have to play it to find out." Ruby started to explain. "The reason behind it is explained the further you progress, so it's more of a revelation storyline, but you still have some badass shit happening."
"Like what?"
"You'll just have to play it and figure that out yourself. It's the entire plot of the game." The waitress continued. "It's one of those games where you get a choice to choose the dialogue, so you can choose what she would say, which would affect the reply of whoever you might be talking to."
"And it's a game that you can replay if you ever wanted to see the other outcomes or change dialogue and choices at certain parts." Belle added. "It's funny to see what you could say after choosing differently."
"You should play it." Graham nodded.
"Well, whenever we're done here, you can give it to me." Emma grinned, shaking with excitement. "But, right now, I want to finish this game and eat some dinner."
"I'll give it to you tomorrow. I don't want to go back to the house tonight." Belle muttered, focusing her attention back onto the screen.
"It's fine. It's something that I'll be playing by myself, anyways." The blonde shrugged.
But for now, it was time to just enjoy this time with her friends and keep her mind off other things. It seemed to be rather successful as of now, which was good. She hadn't had one thought of Regina since going out with her friends- well, besides the thought of the necklace. Wait... She was thinking about that damned woman now. No. Just concentrate on trying to blow her friends off the screen. Nothing else. No Regina. No school. No dance. No yesterday. All that mattered right now was winning this goddamn game.
...
Monday.
It was Monday and Regina still hadn't returned any of Emma's calls or texts. The blonde had sent one last message to the teacher on Sunday, but there was no luck for a reply. Now it was Monday and Emma still had Regina for her fourth period class. It would be the inevitable. They would have to meet face to face, although the blonde would be at the back of the classroom and Regina at the front- especially if she were still playing the avoiding game.
Though, this was the opportunity for Emma to make amends with the brunette teacher. She really wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be. Being apart from Regina- especially for these three days- had felt like a lifetime of agonizing memories, forced to replay in the blonde's mind and to think up what Regina was going through, if anything. And that swan pendant that she wore only reminded her of the brunette.
It was about time that she would confront the older woman. Three days has been long enough, she thought, and Regina should be ready to hear whatever the blonde had to say. It was a terrible nagging feeling that had found itself embedded in Emma's gut that she had never been able to mend things with the brunette before she had ever left. She wanted to tell her everything that had happened and explain to her what she had been building up in her head for three days. That she loved that woman to death and would never intentionally hurt her. It was that boy's fault that everything happened and she had so many regrets, she was ready to create a novel. She would beg and grovel if she had to, even though that was nothing of her character, but she would do anything if it meant getting her Gina back.
Three days was too long. Way too long.
And so was three more periods.
It was first period as of current, and she sat next to the one that had seemingly threw her into the pits of hell by just that one action. She used to feel sorry for him, hell, she even liked him as a person. But now, he had screwed up everything so bad and twisted whatever beliefs that Emma had about good people. He put her through all of this. He sent her past the point of no return. Although, that may have just been a little much.
Oh, god, how could she bear the sight of him at this moment? Looking at him only reminded her of that night and what he had done, and what pain that he had caused. And she would only have to be reminded of such things for the next three periods until she had confronted the result of what he had done. It all felt like a dream, like a game that dragged her along, throwing the plot and problems in her face until she hit the climax and ended with the exposition, which could only be good or bad. She'd just have to choose her course correctly in order to gain the better ending.
Emma only hoped that everything would turn out alright. She didn't think she could handle whatever life that lay ahead of her if Regina were to brush her off. It was painful enough being in this purgatory.
And that answer was still two hours away. An agonizing two hours that Emma wished didn't have to be there. But she had to do math instead of talking with what mattered most.
"Emma!" Mr. Spencer's voice had the blonde jumping in her spot, feeling as if she had just been smacked as the thoughts had immediately dissipated.
"Uh, yeah?"
"Can you answer the question on the board?" The male teacher pointed to a complicated looking problem on the board and Emma nodded, although she had no idea what the hell they were even doing. Perhaps it wasn't for the better to space out during class like she had intended.
The blonde slowly got out of her seat and walked towards the front of the room. She could feel all eyes on her, even a few whispers as she walked by. It had always made her self-conscious when others were whispering around her. She always felt those comments were meant to be directed towards her, though, she could never know what they were saying. Emma supposed it was for the better, because when the comments were for her, and were spoken out loud, she absolutely hated them and wanted to bash heads together.
But she was getting off topic again, and it definitely was not helping her lack of knowledge for what they were doing. The problem splayed out in front of her looked complicated with the mix of numbers and letters and numerical signs.
"Any day now, Swan."
Killian.
Emma tightened her grip on the marker in her hand at the sound of his voice and tried her best to ignore him as she started with the problem. Whatever the hell she was doing, she was doing it correctly.
Of course, they were reviewing. Wednesday was the start of semester tests, after all. This was just something from earlier on in the year. She probably learned it on one of those days she had decided to space out- which would have been most days. Regina really had pulled her attention away from classes.
Soon enough, she was finishing up the problem with a confident smile. The lesson on this was rather easy and the entire process simple. It had seemed intimidating at first, but really, it wasn't, and Emma was thankful for that. At least she didn't embarrass herself in front of the entire class.
"Congratulations, Swan, you got one right!"
Emma froze in her spot, emerald eyes sliding towards the brunet with a smile on his face, and shot him daggers. "So?"
"Just cheering you on. No need to be a crocodile." He rolled his eyes, chuckling at something that someone had said beside him.
Shaking her head, Emma proceeded back to her seat. She wasn't going to play his game today, because if she were to, she would just blow up in his face and, really, she didn't want to do that- at least in front of an entire classroom.
"But I'm sure she wouldn't mind chomping on you some more." A girl from that sat in the spot in front of Emma giggled. Obnoxious bitch.
"I bet she'd do it right now if she could." The boy sitting next to Killian put in his two cents. Why the hell were they doing this?
"No. She's a carpet-muncher, she would be on the chicks in here." Another boy, the one that sat beside Emma, was quick to expose.
Suddenly, the girl that sat next to Emma and the one in front seemed to gasp with disgust, and the blonde could just hear it, as they moved as far away from her as possible.
"That's disgusting! I want to change seats, Mr. Spencer!" The brunette squealed from beside the blonde, who rolled her eyes.
Really, it was amusing how they were reacting, but at the same time, it hurt. Emma could never fathom why people acted like that. Why was it such a big deal to have knowledge that she prefers women over men? It's not like anything has changed. It's not like she would try something. Why do they always think that? Why don't men overreact to women or vice versa, and be revolted by sitting next to them, believing that they would hit on them? To Emma, she felt that it should be the same. No reactions. No cares.
Why couldn't someone just say, "She likes girls? That's cool." or "He likes boys? That's cool, too." and just move on with their lives? It was just something that Emma couldn't understand, and she knew that there were others with the same thoughts.
Really, though, why did they always think that one would immediately hit on them? That girl wasn't even Emma's type. And, for some reason, it had just clicked in Emma's mind that they knew she was gay.
Killian... That traitorous bastard squealed out her secret, and now everyone knew- or at least everyone in this class- and would probably spread the word.
"What's this fuss now?" Mr. Spencer growled from his spot at the desk, looking up to the girl who had spoken his name.
"I don't want to sit next to the... lesbian." She whispered the word as if it were dirty.
Emma scoffed and crossed her arms tightly over her chest, shrinking down in her seat as the teacher stood up from his desk, eyes boring into the blonde's skull. She had no idea what type of man he was, if he was on that accepted or rejected the idea.
Mr. Spencer didn't even respond to the girl. He only pointed to an empty desk at the front of the classroom, which had the teenager out of her old seat in a matter of seconds.
"Thank you. I don't want her to try anything on me."
"What the fuck makes you think I would want anything to do with the likes of you?" Emma couldn't help but to sneer, slamming her palms on the desk. "With any of you? This is just so fucking ridiculous! It was just fine before. I wasn't hitting on you."
"Emma, will you calm down before I send you to Mr. Gold's office?" The teacher warned, staring with harsh eyes at the blonde.
"Excuse me for trying to stand up for myself!" The blonde balled her fists. "What a school system. Let the bullies bully and yell at the victims for growing a pair."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" The boy next to a rather quiet Killian had spoken.
"What the fuck does that even mean?"
"Emma Nolan!"
"Do you even hear this jerkoff?" Emma hissed, then stood up from her seat to gather her items.
"I bet she'd like it." The girl in front of her added.
"Emmett?" Another jeered.
"Oh, just fuck you! Being a lesbian doesn't mean I want to become a fucking guy."
"You'd like to fuck me, I bet." That girl spoke, a smirk on her lips. "You'd like to just lick my pu-"
"You wish!" Emma quickly threw out, backing up towards the door. "I hope you're happy, Killian. I hope it was worth it."
"Emma, wait!" Killian was starting to get out of his seat now, but the blonde shook her head and opened the door.
"Save it, asshole." And she was gone, marching off towards the office. At least it would be a lot safer there than in that goddamned classroom. Even though it were only three or four people insulting her, it was still quite hurtful. If it were to be only one, Emma would still have been upset like she had been in the past.
Why on earth had she ever trusted that damned boy with her secret? She should have known he would blab it. And he couldn't deny it, either, because he was the only one of a select few that knew.
That's all Emma could keep running through her head at the moment as she made her way down the hallway. But before she had even made it to the office, the bell had rung and students were filing in the hallways. Well, that saved the silly explanation for leaving that class. She could just head to her third period, instead.
And the thought of that sent her heart thrumming in her chest. Only one more period before she was in Regina Mills' class. God, she couldn't wait to see that woman again, and hopefully to see her beautiful smile again. She really needed it.
She really needed to get her mind off everything, as well. If she wouldn't, she would probably break down at some point during this period with all of what had happened. The emotions building inside of her from second period and the bullies there were stored in a dangerous place. Emma was lucky that she hadn't broken in class, or one of two things would happen: crying on the spot, or lash out and hurt the target.
Emma wasn't one that held her emotions in well if they were pushed to the limit. She would snap or break in some way. The crying bit wouldn't be caused by such hurtful things said to her, no, it would be caused by the anger welling up inside of her. The anger that she tried so hard to conceal would become so dangerously high; and she knew when that would occur, because she would just shake with her built-up anger until she could no longer contain it, and would just burst into tears, even as she spoke.
It had happened to her before, where she had been so angry, she couldn't help but to scream as she sobbed. If she were to lash out, they would know it. That could also go one of two ways, she would scream and hit, or just silently walk up and wail on the contributor to her rage. Either way, it never ended well, and it definitely would not have in that classroom because as far as she could tell, almost everyone was an enemy, and her eyes would lock in on every single one of them.
It was a good thing that she had walked out of the room before she had been pushed passed her limits. She couldn't afford a call to her parents who would, no doubt, question her as to why she would do such a thing. She didn't want them to find out that way. For them to find out, it would be best for her to sit them down. But, seeing as to how nothing bad had happened enough for a call, she didn't have to worry about it. Instead, she could clear her mind. They were able to run today.
And run did she. Emma had let every worrisome thought melt away as she ran around the gym, although, it would have had a more calming effect on her if she were to be outside. Unfortunately, it was too cold and too snowy outside for them to use the track. The blonde didn't mind, just so long as she could run.
By the end of the period, she was exhausted, but her mind felt pumped and ready to take on the next period. During her run, she tried to think up positive outcomes to her talk with Regina, if she were to get one. She even had thought up what to say, although, she probably wouldn't be able to remember it word for word. That would be for the best, though. She wouldn't want to sound robotic as she spoke to the older woman. Who knows what Regina would think of her if she were to give her an entire written speech for an explanation? It would be utterly cheap. It would be richer coming from the heart. She would play it by ear, especially since she didn't know how Regina was going to react to what she would be saying.
Or if Emma would be able to say anything at all, because when she walked through that door to her fourth period Creative Writing class in Ms. Mills' room, she saw her and her breath hitched in her throat. It had been the first time in three days that she had seen that woman, and she still looked as gorgeous- if not more. Although, the blonde noticed a few changes in her appearance.
Regina looked just worn as she sat at her desk, filing through papers. She had dark circles under her eyes, although she had tried to cover them up with makeup, but the puffiness was still there if one were to look close and long enough. Her hair looked different. It looked... thinner. And her skin appeared paler, but that could have just been the lighting.
Emma frowned, unable to help the drop in her muscles, as she made her way to her desk at the back of the room. Regina didn't seem to pay any notice to her presence. Usually she gave her a smile. That was just another strike to the current reality. Was she really going to ignore her?
With a soft sigh, Emma let her gaze lower to the paper that had been left on her desk from the previous English class. This would be the most agonizing hour of all, Emma had concluded. Even though she was where she wanted to be, she still had to wait and watch as the brunette with the sad, chocolate eyes stood in the front of the room, helping the class review for the semester exam. With every step that she took and every word that she spoke, Emma could sense the weariness in them, and the way that her tone or step had changed. She walked with a heavier step and spoke with a huskier tone.
No one else probably noticed, but Emma knew Regina, and this wasn't her. This was someone that had another thing taken from them and was on the verge of just giving up. She was weighted with demons that were dragging her down- the same ones that Emma had tried so very hard to pick off. It had all ultimately failed in the end- her efforts- for it was her own fault that they had returned. Only now could Emma hope that she would be able to remove them once again and help Regina back up.
Emma was bound with regrets once again by the end of the period, each one squeezing her heart tighter in her chest until she just could not breathe. As the students filed out of the room, she remained, watching as the brunette teacher made her way over to her desk without a word, or even a look, towards the direction of Emma. She had avoided any eye contact all class period.
Now as the time that she would have to speak with her and hopefully end all of this. All of the pain and the worry and the constant hurting.
Emma closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before standing up, slowly making her way over to the brunette.
"Regina?" her voice was hoarse as she spoke, nothing but a croak as it came from her lips.
"What is it?" The teacher impatiently asked, brown eyes focused on the paper in front of her, although she wasn't exactly seeing it.
"We need to talk..."
"We have nothing to talk about."
"Please..." The blonde pleaded, tears already drawing themselves to her eyes. Was she not even going to try?
But that had her removing her reading glasses and setting them aside before looking up at Emma, brown eyes glistening. "So what? You can hurt me some more? I may be a masochist, but even I have my limits."
"No, Re-Regina... It's... I don't want to hurt you. Believe me on that..." Emma tried, dragging her chair over so she could sit in front of the brunette.
"Well, you... you have." She looked away, her voice trembling with each word, and each one had stabbed a needle into Emma's heart. "And I can't talk to you right now."
"It's been three days, Regina!" Emma sighed, leaning back in the chair. "Three days and I... I can't breathe without you. It hurts so much to be apart from you. It's really... it's unreal how much you mean to me. And I want you to trust me when I tell you that I love you. I love you so much, I didn't think it possible."
"Emma..." Regina slowly shook her head.
"Don't you love me, Regina?" Emma honestly asked.
"Of course I love you, Emma." She half-laughed, half-cried. "In fact, I love you too much..."
"You should let me tell you what happened, Gina..." Emma urged, her voice a soft whisper. "If you love me as much as you say, you will let me, because I find it terribly hard to even live without you... with knowing that you could possibly hate me."
"I-I could never hate you, Emma."
"Then let me please explain..."
Regina sighed at the blonde's simple plea and Emma tentatively brought her hands up to grab the brunette's, which had her face etching with a debate that had clearly started in her head. Her eyes flickered with hope, and then betrayal. It had hurt so much to see what was reflecting in those dangerous whisky orbs. It was a pain that Emma felt she could never survive. But the brunette spoke, squeezing her hands.
"Fine."
"R-really?"
"Emma. Tell me what happened." Regina impatiently clucked and the blonde nodded.
"I told you, uh, before the dance that I had accepted Killian's invitation to the Winter Formal. Really, I didn't want to, like, at all. But Ruby insisted and so did Belle, since they were going and wanted me to come. Usually I don't like going to those things... So, since he had always been crushing after me, I accepted it." Emma started, her green gaze locked with Regina's and never leaving as she played with the older woman's olive fingers.
"And since I would be going, and with someone I didn't very much care for, I got the idea to convince you to go, too. I had this crazy dream that we could dance with one another, you know? You'd be like my... uh, queen in... a sexy dress to come save me." The blonde blushed slightly. She hadn't told Regina the exact reason why she wanted the brunette to chaperone the dance. But, hell, it never hurt anybody and she knew that the teacher wouldn't make fun of her. "But, yeah, I know... We couldn't actually dance there, so the whole take me away thing came to mind. But you know that.
"Anyways, on that night... Killian picked me up and we were walking to the dance when he started commenting on how I wasn't much of a dress person. And then he made some remark about me being gay after asking some other question and I just answered 'yes.' That's the story about how I came out to him, and I thought he had taken me seriously. He said that I still owed him a dance and I figured that I did since I would be ditching him for you.
"But when we finally got on the dance floor... That was when the slow song started to play. I wanted to get the hell away from there, but he said that I owed him a dance and he wanted that one. I mean, I guess I could have backed away, but I didn't really think anything would come of it since he knew, you know?
"The next thing I know is that he has his hand on my ass. I was pulling away to confront him, but he had apparently read it the wrong way, because he was making this weird, puckering face. It literally took me a moment before my brain clicked to realize what was happening. I know that sounds like a stupid excuse, but come on, I was confused as hell. It's like that moment before people kiss, you know, it's like a spell is put on them to keep them in place. I don't know... But, he kissed me. Yeah. And it was horrible. He tasted like fish. I hate fish." Emma took a moment to shudder at that memory. "But after I realized that he was fucking kissing me, I pushed his ass away and chewed him out."
The blonde just shook her head and finally let her gaze fall to their hands, where Regina had started to play with Emma's own fingers, anxiously lacing them with her own to gently tugging on them or separating them between her hands. She remained silent as she soaked up what Emma had just said, only continuing to play with her fingers as she did so.
Then she released the blonde's hands and set her hands on her own lap. Emma's heart sunk at the gesture, her hands balling up.
"I don't know what to say." Regina finally mumbled.
"You don't have to believe me; I guess... But I swear I'm telling you the truth. And I'm... I'm sorry... I cannot apologize enough for the way that I have hurt you. I can't even blame it all on him, you know? I'm the idiot that decided to go with him. I'm the idiot that let my friends convince me to go in the first place..."
"I believe you, Emma." The brunette reached out to take one of Emma's hands to cradle it in her own.
Emma looked at their hands for a moment before gazing back up to meet Regina's. "And I am so fucking sorry for... everything. I hurt-" Tears drew themselves to her eyes once again, this time they didn't stay within their boundaries, instead, they spilled down her cheeks in warm, crystal streams.
"I know, sweetheart..." Regina squeezed Emma's hand before releasing it, using her free hands to wipe away the tears that didn't cease to stroll down the blonde's ruddy cheeks. "Don't cry... It's alright. I forgive you."
"A-are you sure?"
"Shh, shh... I am." Her voice was a soothing hum.
"He's an asshole..." Emma shook her head, sniffling her nose to keep the snot from dripping out. "I wish Friday never happened... He doesn't know how to keep a fucking secret, either."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing." Emma shook her head once again and stood up to take the few steps between them. "Can I... Can I just have a hug?"
"I think we both need one."
"I've wanted to hug you ever since entering this room." The blonde wrapped her arms tightly around the now-standing Regina as she engulfed the teenager into her arms, that familiar spicy perfume filling Emma's senses and relaxing every nerve that had been on end since the start of the weekend. All events were gone at the snap of a finger.
"Is that so?" Regina whispered against blonde locks, one hand tied up in the mane itself as the other landed on Emma's ass. And that one squeezed, which had the blonde smiling. She liked it when Regina touched her ass. It was hers and hers only. No one else's.
"I always know when you need a hug. I get a strong urge to give you one, and it only grows stronger the longer I have to wait." Emma purred, pressing herself closer to the brunette. "And you really needed one today. My poor Gina looked so sad... I feel like shit for making you feel like that."
"I feel the same for putting you through this senseless ordeal. I shouldn't have ignored your messages. I just needed time for myself to think." Regina murmured sadly into Emma's ear, her body slightly rocking back and forth.
"You didn't want to talk to me. I understand. I would ignore someone if they did that to me, too... Or string them up by their tits."
"Oh, Emma..." Regina cracked a smile, and it was that smile that brought one to Emma's own. There it was. She had been yearning to see that gorgeous smile that could brighten her day within a matter of seconds, no matter how horrible it might have been.
"You should stay with me for the rest of the day," Emma hummed, resting her head on the older woman's shoulder, her smile never fading. "There are too many assholes right now after the biggest one of all."
"Is something wrong out there, darling? You had mentioned something about Killian unable to keep a secret?" Regina tilted her head slightly to press a kiss to the side of Emma's head.
"Yeah... Killian fucking told somebody that I was gay. And it got around, because in my second period class today, it was an absolute shit-storm. Mr. Spencer didn't do shit about it when a girl asked to be moved..." She sighed, grabbing onto Regina's shirt as she balled her hands into fists. Just the thought of earlier had her emotions set back on the roller coaster. Emma could feel the constricting in her throat as she spoke again. Her rage was causing her to shake once again at the memory. She wanted to just bash their heads together. "They wouldn't stop saying... things. Killian just sat there. I just walked out... The goddamned teacher didn't even care at all that they were saying these things. He yelled at me for defending myself." Her voice rose a couple of octaves, and as it had, she could feel Regina's arms constrict around her.
"I will have a word with him." Regina growled, rubbing soothing circles against Emma's back as the first sob released itself into the teacher's shoulder.
"I want to hurt them all so badly!" Emma cried, her grip tightening. "I wanted to bash their fucking skulls together. Maybe then they would fucking get it that I'm the same old me..."
"Honey... Hey, sweetie."
"They all deserve to die!" The blonde hissed, another sob wracking her body.
"Emma..." Regina pulled away from the embrace, her hands moving to touch Emma's cheeks, cupping them with gently palms. "Calm down, sweetheart. I understand that you are angry at them for saying these things. I have been there... But you are better than them, and you are happy with who you are, aren't you?"
"Of course I am... I have you." Emma tried to even her breath, sniffling her nose several times in the process as she gazed into Regina's loving, brown orbs. "I would never change who I am. I was born this way for a reason."
"You have something that they don't." Regina whispered, ducking her head to press a chaste kiss to Emma's lips. "And I want you to keep reminding yourself of that. Remind yourself that, sure, they can say these hurtful things about your sexuality, but at least it had given you something that's definitely worth it. That's what I do... I remind myself of you when I'm feeling low."
"I'll remember that..." Emma looked down, shame suddenly filling her for reacting in the way that she had towards those people.
"Good." The brunette said, the sweetest smile on her face. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Emma replied. Her heart could just melt at the way that this woman looked at her. Regina made Emma feel so special, like she was the luckiest woman on earth. And, really, she believed that she was. She had a woman that loved her, and really did, as she loved her just the same.
"I really... I really just want to squish you." Emma could help but to comment, the largest smile that she could muster was displayed on her face.
"Please don't," Regina chuckled. "It would hurt."
"I'm sorry." The blonde giggled also, but tried to keep it as quiet as she could so she could hear Regina's own laughter. She enjoyed that woman's laugh. It was music for the soul, beautiful and enchanting. Whenever she heard it, she soaked it up like a sponge. It brought her great joy, especially in knowing that Regina was happy, which ceaselessly made her happy. "But, I just have these feelings and all I can currently translate them is to squish the hell out of you."
"I have those same feelings, dear." Regina laughed again. "But I tend to keep them to myself."
"Well, I honestly wouldn't mind if you squished me. I like it." The blonde gave her a cheesy smile, bursting into laughter when the brunette just shook her head.
"I can think of other ways to show you how I feel."
Oh.
Those words went straight to her core, no stops, no turns. She knew exactly what the older woman meant by that, and, of course, it would only leave the blonde flustered in her spot.
"You're blushing, dear."
"Yeah... Well, you would, too." She let her gaze fall from Regina's face to find the computer behind her suddenly become so interesting.
"If we weren't in school right now, I would make an effort to show you just how much I really feel." The back of Regina's hand ghosted over Emma's cheek and the blonde's breath hitched, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. Her head tilted towards the hand, reveling in the tender caress that it gave.
"It's unfortunate, because that skirt of yours could have made everything far easier." Emma mumbled, opened her eyes with a smirk on her face. The woman in front of her had rosy cheeks, although wore a smirk that could have any villain put to shame.
"If you come over tonight, we will see just how easy this skirt will make things." Regina purred, her tone dropping a couple octaves. "Lock the door and sit down."
"What?" Emma blinked at the sudden command, but didn't defy what the older woman had said as she quickly made her way to the door, locked it, then proceeded to find her seat. Regina was soon sitting down as well, her sharp, brown eyes focused on the blonde's scrunched face.
"How much time do we have left in this period?"
"About... uh..." Emma swallowed thickly as he lifted her eyes to the clock on the far wall. "About half."
"Then we have plenty of time to eat." Her hands were on Emma's thighs in a matter of seconds, which had the blonde slightly squirm, pressing them together to ease the sudden ache thrumming there. Regina wore a devious smile, her eyes sparkling with something almost sinful.
"Gina...?" Emma breathed, her heart rate speeding up incredibly as the brunette let that teasing little tongue of hers slide slowly across her moist, pink lips.
"I'm starving. Did you bring any food?" And, suddenly, she was sitting up, all evidence of what had just happened suddenly gone and replaced with a friendly smile.
"I... uh... Have a sandwich?" Emma turned around and quickly fumbled with her bag, pulling out a small container with two plastic-wrapped sandwiches inside. She quickly opened the plastic, fingers shaking as she retrieved one of the sandwiches to hand to the awaiting teacher.
"Thank you, my love." Regina seized Emma's wrist and gave her knuckles a few soft kisses.
"I know it's not much... I wasn't really concentrated on making lunch, this morning."
"Anything from you is a wonderful treat, Emma. Lest it be a dinner from a five-star restaurant to a simple lunch consisting of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I will love it and be forever grateful, regardless." The brunette gave Emma that toothy grin that always seemed to melt her heart. She looked so beautiful when she smiled genuinely, and so very happy. That's why Emma made it her goal to keep Regina smiling, and she would double her efforts after what she had done to her.
"Fuck, do I love you..." Emma's cheeks burned, her eyes fluttering to the sandwich in her hands as a sheepish smile lightly graced her lips.
And her love for this woman grew more each day. It had barely been a month since they told each other those three precious words. It was remarkable how fast these feelings were taking over the blonde, and the brunette herself. Emma had suspected that they flourished from the very first day that they met, and over time, and grown until she had truly realized her feelings. It was something she had already figured out, but it still seemed just so mind numbing that they hit her so hard and so fast.
She never thought something like this would be possible in real life, that it only so in movies. But, then again, she never really believed in love before she had a taste of it for herself, and oh god, was it the sweetest thing that she had ever tasted.
"I love you, too." Regina replied, her voice rich like honey.
Emma lived to hear those words come from the brunette's mouth. It always sent her heart soaring high above the clouds and made all the hurt go away. She only wished this woman could be with her nonstop, because hell, she wouldn't have to worry about breaking down. As long as she was with Regina, all her cares flew away and she was as light as a feather.
"Gina?" The blonde licked her lips, shifting herself forward in the chair.
"Yes, dear?"
"Do you think that you could... uh... come into my second period class?" Because that's exactly where she needed the brunette the most. Of course, what she was asking was a hefty deed, for the teacher had a class that hour and what business would she have entering Mr. Spencer's room?
"For what?" Regina asked carefully, though she was recollecting what the blonde had told her about that very class.
"Never mind... Forget that I asked. It's stupid, anyways. I know that you can't."
"Tell me why." The brunette left no room for arguments, her visage stoic, though the jelly on the corner of her mouth took away from the serious expression.
"I don't want to go back... I only have tomorrow in there before the semester tests, which wouldn't be as much a hassle since it calls for silence. But, if you were there... I know that I could get through the period." Emma carefully put her words together, her fingers pressing into the bread. "Being with you makes me feel like I can do anything, and with you there, I wouldn't have to care what they would say about me."
"But what business would I have sitting in there for an entire period?"
"None. That's why I shouldn't have asked, because it was stupid." The blonde shrugged, taking a large bite from her sandwich.
"No. It's not stupid, my love. You have given me an idea."
"I did?"
"Yes." Regina nodded, sitting back in her chair with a smile. "I can pull you out of class, if you wish. You are only reviewing, correct? You're good at math, I don't think you need to sit in there for an entire hour, do you?" When Emma quietly shook her head, she continued. "I will make up a bullshit reason for you to come down. My second period class is rather large, but you could sit at my desk."
"Would you really do that for me?" Emma asked, sitting up.
"If you would like me to, dear. But I cannot promise anything. I would have to get someone in here to fill in for the time that I am gone." The brunette only shrugged, smiling at the blonde who had started to tear up.
"Thank you, Regina... It- it really means a lot that you would do that."
"You are my, uh, girlfriend after all. I want nothing more than for you to be happy."
Emma brought a hand up to rest on the brunette's soft, olive cheek. This woman was truly a miracle and she was lucky as hell to have her in her life. She even felt as if she didn't deserve the brunette and all of the generosity that she offered. She couldn't even do half as much for Regina as the older woman did for her, but hell if she wouldn't try to. Emma would be sure to make everything up to the brunette woman when she had the resources to do so, most definitely, because she loved that woman more than life itself and that was saying something coming from the broken foster kid who didn't believe in a thing called love.
She looked, really looked, into the brunette's eyes before her, staring into the depths of truth that appeared within them. Eyes never lied, Emma found that out in several occasions. What deceitful thing might be hidden there, or the truth, the power, of their sincerity could just shake Emma to the core. Because that's how she found out what Regina had truly felt for her, the way her eyes told every secret that she held. Even looking into them now, it had sent shivers down the blonde's spine. She could see nothing but pure, unadulterated love in them, like a swirling sea of melted chocolate, both rich and pure.
It was a beautiful sight; wondrous, warm, and inviting. Emma found herself frequently captivated by the twinkle in those orbs that sent her heart thudding against her chest in a rapid tattoo. Her body, like a magnet, slowly leaned towards Regina's body in an attraction that could not be stopped. She could feel the older woman do the same until both were mere inches apart, their lips parted with heavy breaths and dilated pupils. Emma could feel the tingles already, coursing through her body in a pleasant pulse, descending from her head to her toes.
"My beautiful swan." Regina whispered just before she closed the distance, her lips capturing Emma's in a slow, tender kiss.
And then the bell rang, though the two failed to pull apart. Emma didn't care whatsoever about that damned bell. She would rather be late to sixth period than having to give up a kiss with Regina. It was the sweetest thing where every cell in her body buzzed with excitement, her toes curling ever so slightly in her shoes as the older woman tilted her head to deepen the kiss.
Emma's fingers curled into raven locks as she pressed her upper had into the brunette, whose hand had found itself on the blonde's cheek. A soft moan formed in Emma's throat as the burning in her lower belly seemed to flare to life the more Regina moved to kiss her, tongue filling the blonde's mouth with the taste of cinnamon coffee and peanut butter. Everything was so much sweeter when mixed with Regina, Emma absently thought, her hands moving at a frenzy along the older woman's back. Then one of them had found its way to Regina's chest, covering one of the mounds of flesh over the soft silk.
"Emma..." Regina groaned breathlessly, back arching into the teenager's touch. Emma growled softly and proceeded to knead the brunette's breast through her shirt, the kiss turning into frantic desperation. "Oh, god, please... I-I need you..."
"Yeah?" The blonde muttered against the brunette's cheek as she let that hand fall to Regina's hip with the other, sensually sliding them down her thighs to the hem of her pencil skirt, then back up, pulling the fabric with it.
"Yeah ..." Her grip on Emma's hair had tightened, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps as the blonde's hand slid up the inside of her thigh, disappearing under the skirt.
"Good," Emma smirked, pressing a kiss to Regina's cheek before soon trailing her lips down the side of her neck. "Spread your legs for me..."
Regina did just that, her knees on either side of Emma's own legs. The blonde smirked and continued to kiss her way down the brunette's neck, stopping at the crook to tease the skin with her teeth as her fingers did the same, gracing the surface of Regina's satin panties.
"Fuck me..." Regina pleaded, her hips bucking into Emma's hand.
"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Emma whispered against Regina's heated, olive skin. "It's risky."
"I know... We should really stop." The brunette's fingers tried so desperately to grasp at Emma's sweater when the blonde pushed the panties aside to tease the teacher's entrance with a finger.
"Yeah..." Emma nipped at the older woman's skin, a digit slowly pushing itself into Regina, causing her hips to buck and grind against it for more pressure.
"Oh..." The brunette gasped, her nails digging into the black sweater now.
Beeeeeep.
"Shit." Emma puffed against her lover's neck. "That was the end of the passing period. I need to go... I already missed Friday."
"Fuck!" Regina hissed, leaning back against her chair as the blonde slipped her digit out and brought her hands to herself. "You will definitely owe me, darling."
"Oh, the makeup sex will be worth the wait." Emma gave the panting teacher a sly smile just before sticking her finger in her mouth. "Get yourself off if you need to, or hold it, I don't care. But I'll be sure to make you come until you can't think straight."
"You are evil, Emma." Regina huffed, pulling her skirt down.
"No, Gina, you are. You're the Evil Queen, after all." The teenager let out a guffaw as she picked her bag up and slung it over her shoulder. "Make sure you get yourself nice and horny for me, okay? I'll see you after school."
"Oh, dear, I already am all hot and bothered. I just need you to extinguish the fire between my thighs." The brunette watched as the blonde shook her head, walking towards the door.
"I will, don't worry." Emma winked and unlocked the door, but had stopped short. "I, uh... Need a pass."
"Right." Regina purred, pulling out a stack of pass papers from her drawer to make on out for the blonde. "Should I put in 'fucking the teacher' as the reason for tardiness, or...?"
"I don't think that's a wise idea." Emma chuckled, taking the pass from the brunette as she handed it to her. "Although, how accurate it would be."
"Not exactly." Regina shot the student a sardonic look.
"Oh, shut it." Emma stuck her tongue out before whipping around to the door once again.
"Put that tongue to better use, my dear." She heard behind her, which had the blonde smirking to herself and shout behind her as she left the class.
"Don't worry, I will!"