Before We Say Goodbye

Galing kay xxxKarinn

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Sophie is dying of cancer. She knows she hasn't got long left. Damon is the victim of a fire that left him se... Higit pa

Chapter One: You've Got Cancer
Chapter Two: A Face is a Book
Chapter Three: Polystyrene Memories
Chapter Four: All Because of Tingo
Chapter Five: Normal
Chapter Six: It'd Be Safer
Chapter Seven: Socks, Sandals and Party Invitations
Chapter Eight: Hey, who Invited the Alien?
Chapter Nine: What Really Happens at Parties
Chapter Ten: Only To Save Me Some Face
Chapter Eleven: What it Means to Suffer
Chapter Twelve: What Did I Do?
Chapter Fourteen: Caramel Coffee
Chapter Fifteen: Some Jokes Just Aren't Funny
Chapter Sixteen: So Insecure of my Manhood...
Chapter Seventeen: Things I'll Never Say
Chapter Eighteen - Fail
Chapter Nineteen: I Kind of Lied to You...
Chapter Twenty - I'm Sorry
Chapter Twenty-One: The One Where I Get To Live

Chapter Thirteen: Figure Skating is for Girls

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Galing kay xxxKarinn

Chapter 13 - Sophie

So many unanswered questions float around my head.

The most common one is, why do I like Damon so much?

It’s closely followed by, why can’t I stop obsessing over him?

Because, well, why?

I’ve barely known him, what, three days? And yet, I feel like I’ve known him forever. I feel like we’re that close. I cross my fingers absently. It’s not right that I’ve taken such a strong, sudden liking to him. It’s not right that his opinion means so much to him.

I have a theory, though. It’s because he’s the only person who doesn’t know about me having cancer. He’s the only person who treats me normally. That’ll be it.

I’m going to get to know him. And when I get to know him, I’m going to tell him the truth.

“I’ve got cancer,” I say to myself.

This is it. It’s real now. I’ve said it out loud and there’s no denying it. No more forgetting to take my medicine. No more letting people believe that I’m just fine.

No more of it.

I smile to myself, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling. They used to scare me when we first moved in. I thought the ceiling would cave in. But so far it hasn’t, and I doubt it will. Not in my lifetime.

Ugh. Stop thinking thoughts like that, Sophie!

I give myself a mental slap.

I’m such an idiot. I need to change my mind set.

Remember the days when thinking of Angelina Ballerina was enough to stop your nightmares scaring you?

I grin. I used to love that little cartoon mouse so much!

In fact…

I haul myself off my bed and cross over to my bookshelf, scanning the spines of all the different books. There it is!

I pull out the thin, flimsy copy of my favourite Angelina Ballerina book, the one I could never bring myself to throw out. I think I was seven when Gramps got this for me. It was wrapped up in silver tissue paper and –

The doorbell’s ringing! The doorbell’s ringing!

I jump up from the sofa and run as fast as I can to the door, twisting the knob and pulling it open.

“Surprise!” Gramps and Nan call out.

I giggle, pretending to be shocked. I knew they were coming, but they don’t need to know that.

Gramps leads Nan in, and he closes the door behind them. Nan walks past me, into the living room, saying hello to Mammy and Daddy.

Gramps kneels down in front of me, pulling something out of the Tesco’s bag lying at his feet.

A long, thin, cuboid package wrapped up in thin silver paper is taken out, which he hands to me, grinning.

“This is for you, Sophie,” he says.

I beam. “Why, Gramps?”

“Because you’re a very special girl.”

I rip off the paper, smiling widely the whole time. A pristine, brand new copy of Angelina and Alice falls to the floor.

“Gramps! I love you!”

I throw my arms around his neck.

Mammy comes out to say hello to Gramps, and picks the book up from the floor.

“What’s this?” she asks stiffly.

“A present,” Gramps replies, equally tense.

“What for?”

“Sophie’s good behaviour.”

A strange look flashes in Mammy’s eyes. “You shouldn’t have,” she frowns.

“It was no problem.”

“No, I mean, you really shouldn’t have. Do you still have a receipt?”

Gramps scowls. “It’s Sophie’s. Why don’t we let her decide if she wants to keep it or not?”

I watch the exchange with confused little brown eyes. “What’s wrong, Mammy?” I ask. “Why can’t I keep the book?”

I feel tears coming on. I really really really really really want it!

Mammy sighs. “Look what you’ve done,” she hisses at Gramps. Then she turns to me. “Don’t worry, Soph, you can keep it!”

I smile, all worries forgotten. I’ll keep it forever and ever.

Amen to that. I’ve still got it, haven’t I?

I smile at the memory, wishing days like that still came around. But we hardly ever see Gramps nowadays, since he’s stuck in an old people’s home a three hour drive away. Besides, he was Mam’s dad, so Dad didn’t do much in the way of keeping contact with him when they split up. It’s a shame, though.

I suddenly sit up.

“There are so many people I need to say goodbye to,” I mutter, hauling myself off my bed and racing downstairs to where Dad sits at the kitchen table, prodding at a lamp.

He looks up as I enter and scowls – he still isn’t happy with me.

“What?” he asks, rather rudely.

“Dad, there’re people I need to see,” I tell him urgently. “Gramps, Mam…Sam!”

“Who’s Sam?” Dad asks with a frown.

“You know! My cousin!”

A look of understanding dawns on his face. “Oh. I get it. You want to meet up with the people you haven’t seen in ages…it could be arranged. Maybe. But it’ll be hard.”

“Don’t you have Mam’s number, or address, or anything?” I ask.

“No. But I have the address of the home Gramps is staying at. If he’s still there, I’m sure he’d be happy to let you visit, and he’d probably have your mother’s contact details. He’d give them to you, I bet. We could arrange something with her, and I expect she’d be more than happy to bring Sam along.”

I beam, hope etched onto my face. Dad scratches his head uncertainly.

“Please don’t get your hopes up, Soph. Chances are Gramps moved home, or he doesn’t have Mam’s details, or Sam doesn’t come. I don’t want you getting your hopes up only to have them knocked down again.”

I shake my head. “I won’t, Dad. Don’t worry.”

He ruffles my hair. “Atta girl.”

I smile, knowing that what I’ve told him is a lie. Of course my hopes are going to be right up there.

But that’s fine, because Gramps is going to be in the same home he was in four years ago – people don’t just change OAP homes, do they? And he’ll have Mam’s address, and she’ll be happy to see me, and Sam will come too. And it’ll all work out perfectly.

You betcha.

*

“Sophie? Will you play Wii with me?” Jake asks, peering into my room.

“Sure,” I smile. I put down my book and follow him to the living room. “Whaddaya want to play, then?”

“Let’s play…” He pauses thoughtfully. “Let us play…I know! We can play Winter Olympics! That game is epic!”

I grin. “Okay. Ready to get your arse beat on?”

He sticks his tongue out. “I’ll win, Sophie. Bet ya! Okay, I’m going to be Sonic.”

“Bags Amy!” I call out, barely letting him finish.

Then I remember Livi isn’t here, and I grin sheepishly.

“Like I would want to be Amy,” Jake said with a shake of his head. “Honestly.”

“Sorry. I’m used to having to bag her. But Amy’s the best!” I say.

Apparently, this comment isn’t even worthy of a response. Jake ignores it, instead choosing to select a sport.

“Figure skating!” I order.

“No way! That’s too girly. If it has to be skating, it’s going to be speed skating.”

I scowl. “No! Figure skating rocks! C’mon, Jakey, just for me?”

He shakes his head stubbornly.

“You’re such a donkey,” I grumble. “Fine. But you’ll be sorry when I beat you!”

We play three matches, and eventually…

Yes, I admit it. I’m forced to eat my own words.

“Ha!” Jake yells triumphantly. “Beat you again!”

I feel like stamping my foot. “Ugh. This game is so stupid. I bet you’ve hacked into it or something. You cheated!”

Jake laughs. “Sore loser.”

“Don’t ask me how, but I just know you messed with the game somehow so that your play automatically goes faster than mine,” I continue.

“Don’t be such a bad loser!” Jake snaps.

I look away, ignoring him pointedly.

“Hey, let’s do one of the mini games!” he suggests.

“They’re rubbish when there’s only two people,” I refuse.

*

“No! I want to be Amy!”

“I. Am. Amy. I’m always Amy!”

“Exactly!”

Mark and Jake watch on, amused, while Livi and I battle it out over who gets to be Amy.

“Well, I’m Tails,” Mark comments casually.

“Good. I’m Sonic.”

I hold a finger up in their faces. “Shut up a sec, me and Livi need to sort something out,” I say.

“Rock paper scissors?” Livi asks.

I nod.

So I lose.

“Best of three,” I insist, through gritted teeth.

“No. I won fair and square.”

“Okay, we’ll flip a coin now.”

“Look, we’re starting!” Mark says suddenly.

I look at the TV. Huh?

Oh, I get it. Mark took my remote and chose a character for me – ew! He chose Blaze!

“No!” I wail, grabbing the remote and trying to undo it. “How could you betray me like this, Mark?”

I aim a kick at him.

“Argh!” he screams as I hit him in a…not so comfortable area.

“That’s why you should sit down when you play Wii with my sister,” Jake says smugly.

Livi chuckles.

I don’t think she’s forgiven him yet for freaking out on me a few days earlier.

My phone rings, startling me.

“Hang on,” I say, grabbing it and answering.

“Hello?”

“Oh, hi Damon,” I say, leaving the living room and shutting the door behind me.

But I still caught Livi’s suspiciously interested looking face…

“So, I was just wondering if you wanted to meet up some time?” he says, gruffly.

I bite my lip. I do like him. But we haven’t known each other at all long…I don’t want to get involved in anything dodgy, given how it could – will – end up. But before my brain gets a chance to think things through, my heart has already answered.

“Yeah, that would be cool! When?”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

I think back. Well, nothing’s ever on these days, so duh I’m free. But should I play hard to get? Or should I just say yes? Gah! Livi would know!

“Yeah, tomorrow’s fine.”

“Meet me at that little café by Greenhill Park at twelve noon, yeah?”

I don’t even get a chance to say okay before he’s hung up. I shrug and put my phone away. He’s lucky I don’t have any plans, or else I would ditch him.

Will Dad let me go?

I push the thought away. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

If it comes to it, Dad and Trish both work tomorrow, so I’ll just go without asking.

I head back to the living room, unprepared. Livi pounces on me as soon I step through the door.

“Who was that?” she demands.

“No one…” I mumble half heartedly.

“Seriously, who was it?” Mark asks.

“Seriously, no one.”

“Sure, sure,” Livi says with a sarcastic nod.

“Tell me!” Jake says, ‘sternly’, trying to act cool in front of the older kids.

I swear he has a crush on Livi.

“Shut up, Jake,” I say, shoving him away.

“Tell me, then,” Livi says, giving me her puppy dog eyes.

I feel my resolve waver.

“I’m sleepy,” I say, pretending like I need my rest. In reality, I just took my medication so at the moment it’s not too bad.

Livi narrows her eyes.

“Fine then! It’s just this boy I know, okay? I met him at the hospital the other day and he asked me out, so we could get to know each other.”

Livi squeals excitedly, hugging me. “Oh, look at my little Sophie, all grown up! First boyfriend and all!”

Mark’s eyes darken for a moment, it seems, but then he shrugs and wipes an imaginary tear from his eye. “Yes, how true!” He sniffs loudly. “It seems like just yesterday she was a toddler, wetting the bed every night. Wait, she did wet the bed last night! I completely forgot!”

Jake widens his eyes, actually believing Mark.

“Mark!” I whine.

“Oh, sorry, Sophie dear. Was I not supposed to say?”

I laugh along with Livi and Jake.

Because there is no one I love more than my best friends.

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