"Ugh god" Ally mumbled as she hopped out of bed opening her bedroom door a jar, she watched as Shel chatted away to Katie offering her a cup of something hot.
"What the fuck" Rach snapped as she shut the door closed demanding answers from her friend
"I didn't know ok" Ally sighed as she put her hands up in her defence walking around her the blonde she went to pick some clothes to wear.
"How the fuck do you not know if you were married or not" Rach questioned as she sat on Ally's bed arms folded tightly.
"No I mean I thought we were divorced, I signed the papers the night I left Gambia and thought she got it finalised" Ally replied as she slipped a pair of loose track suit bottoms on, she tied her chestnut hair back into a messy bun.
"Why didn't you tell me" Rach eyes furrowed with hurt.
"We are suppose to be friends Ally, if that is even your name" she mumbled sulking as she glared at the pile of clothes on the floor.
"Rach" Ally sighed. Of course she felt bad about keeping it from her but there was nothing she could do to change it now, she sat on the edge of her bed as she entwined her fingers with the blondes who looked up at her with sadness.
"I fucked up Rach before I met you, I made mistakes, broke her heart as well as mine and truth be told I never thought I would see her again until she turned up at work yesterday" Ally explained.
"Yeeeeesterday" Rachel groaned clearly pissed she hadn't told her about it last night.
"Look Rach I know you hate me right now, I will explain everything to you later I promise" she said as she hooked her pinky with Rachel's as Ally pouted her lower lip over her mouth the blonde smiled as she gave her friend a quick hug.
"I'm sorry" Ally mumbled into her friends neck as she pulled back from the embrace and stood up. Ally felt butterflies in her stomach as she gave herself a quick glance in her full length mirror before opening her bedroom door encouraging her friend to come out of the room with her.
"Hey" Katie said as she got to her feet, placing her coffee on the table. The Surgeon felt her heart flutter as she saw Ally coming from her room with the short dreadlocked woman. Ally was dressed in a white tank top and oversized track suit bottoms , this used to be her favourite look of her wife's.
They spent the majority of their first year of marriage lazing around their apartment nursing hangovers, dressing down and eating Chinese. That doesn't mean to say when Ally wore a sexy dress showing off her curves and legs it didn't send Katie's brain on overdrive but she thought Ally's natural beauty was way more sexier. Ally had gained back her sexy curves she had lost towards the end of their marriage, she got a glimpse of the old Ally she knew and loves..loved...
"What are you doing here" Ally replied looking over at Shel who smiled awkwardly as she stood between them nurturing her cup of coffee.
"Can we talk" Katie questioned, Ally nodded after a few seconds she couldn't bear the awkwardness of someone from her past meeting her new friends.
"Come on" Ally said as she headed back towards her room in silence for some privacy. The brunette stood by her door as Katie walked in past her Shel mouthed "she's hot" to Ally as the brunette rolled her eyes and shut the door closed tightly.
Katie smiled to herself as she looked around the messy room. She remembered all the times she would have to clean up after the brunette and how she had nagged her wife to do house chores in their home. Ally didn't seem to lose her ability of making a wardrobe out of a floor.Katie glanced at the bed, this was where Ally lived now, slept here every night without her for the past 9 months.
Katie felt anxious as thoughts raced through her mind in that very minute. What if Ally shared this bed with another girl, a new girl. It was possible that Ally could be in a new relationship. Ally could sense an uncomfortable glare from the Katie as they stood in her room.
"How did you even get my address" she asked as Katie's nervous habit kicked in as she chewed her cheek.
"Denny gave it to me" Katie replied as Ally's teeth grinding together. Ally should have known her sister had something to do with this, of course her little sister Denise couldn't keep her fat trap shut she was just going to have to pay her younger sister a trip very soon.
"Katie you need to give me space" Ally spoke honestly as the last 24 hours were a whirlwind.
"What like you did when I told you we were over" Katie shot back at the brunette's bluntness but immediately regretted what she said as hurt washed over Ally's face.
"You got what you wanted in the end Katie so don't throw that shit back in my face" Ally snapped folding her arms tightly across her chest.
"Look I'm not here to fight with you" Katie said trying to keep their arguing to a minimum, they had fought enough in the past to last them a life time.
"Why are you here then" Ally asked her voice equally as calm.
"To make sure you are ok after yesterday, you just left lunch in such a hurry I wanted to make sure you were ok" Katie replied.
"No I mean why are you here in London, why are we still married, you couldn't wait for me to leave our apartment, our life..why Katie" Ally shouted unable to keep herself calm she could feel her buried emotions creep back. She spent months her pinning for even one more day of her old life back how she would treat Katie differently and be a good wife but like Katie had said before there was no going back.
There was no taking back what had been done so why was Katie here, here acting like nothing had happened between them. Ally fought to keep her tears back. She couldn't show her weakness. Katie had seen her at her rock bottom but she was different now, she was strong and could face anything.
"I don't know" Katie cried as she felt defeated.
"I don't fucking know" she repeated slightly more angry this time she began pacing the room.
"I spent months hating you Ally, wishing we never got married and when you signed those papers I was finally free but I didn't feel free, I don't feel free" she added as she wiped her tears in her sleeve as she dropped to the edge of Ally's bed as Ally was puzzled looking down on her.
What was Katie saying, firstly she regretted their marriage but now was she saying she regretted ending it? Ally sat down beside her ex. This was twice in the past 10 minutes she had comforted two women on her bed. This was the most action her bed had ever witnessed.
"I don't know why I'm here Al, I really don't, I thought maybe if I seen you it would help me move on" she sniffed as her eyes locked with Ally's dark chocolate brown eyes.
"And now" Ally questioned not breaking eye contact.
"I don't know" Katie shrugged knowing her answer wasn't very clear.
"I have missed you though" Katie muttered as she wiped her eyeliner into her sleeve feeling slightly embarrassed but she felt at ease knowing Ally had seen her in a lot more compromising positions.
"I've missed you too" Ally agreed as she places her palms together between her legs. It was truth and no matter what was happening and how messed up things were between them at least they had agreed on something for the first time in over a year. Katie's smile reflected off the brunette as Ally remembered the first time she had ever seen it.
Nearly 3 years ago
"Nervous" Tina whispered in Ally's ear as they stood looking around the operating room. Ally had qualified when she was 21 and worked as a nurse on a surgical ward for over two years back in London.
This was what she had dreamt of doing, being a nurse scrubbed into an actual surgery on an actual person. She had arrived in Gambia a month ago and started work straight away at the hospital. She had spent the past few weeks learning the tricks of the trade around the operating theatre, ensuring to stay safely in the background, memorising all the instruments she was finally ready for her first scrub in..An amputation was going to be her first ever surgery she was going to scrub in on her own.
"Shitting it" she whispered back knocking the girls shoulder playfully and made her way to the large sinks where she was about to perform her surgical hand wash, flipping her mask over her mouth, she felt nauseous from the excitement of actually scrubbing in to her first surgery alone.
This is what she waited for, spent hours preparing for an interview and getting the job she learnt everything, she needed to know for this. She began spent five minutes sterilising her hands as much as possible as she quickly turned around to put her surgical gown on she collided with something.
"Bloody hell watch where you are going" a man of 6 foot snapped dressed in his theatre gown continued to march towards the operating theatre..he couldn't have been more than his late twenties with his west London accent..clearly another rich boy who's parents forced him to become the latest Doctor in their stuck up family.
"Dickhead" she muttered as she returned back to the sink to start her hand hygiene from the beginning. She heard a muffled laugh behind her as she turned her head, bright blue eyes staring at her with amusement with a surgical mask covering her face, the girl passed her placing a hand on Ally's shoulder leaning forward.
"He studied in Oxford, he's excused from having any people skills" the American accent rang through Ally's ears as the light brown hair peeped through the others girls pink scrub hat. She was gone before Ally could reply, a smile crept on Ally's face beneath her mask as she turned back quickly scrubbing her hands.
"Have you got everything" Tina asked Ally as she stood back from the sterile area.
"I Think so" Ally replied as she pointed at each instrument naming them off in her head. She needed to relax as she stood over the unconscious patient.
Just my luck she thought to herself as the arrogant twat she bumped into earlier was now standing beside her most likely going to assist in this surgery. This was going to be messy she thought and she wasn't talking about the blood bath with the poor guy lying on the table was getting his leg chopped off. She busied herself checking over the equipment once again not noticing the surgery was about to start until she noticed the sound of diathermy being used against the patients skin.
"Gauze" Ally heard faintly in the background as she snapped back into reality, she glanced around the room disorientated after zoning out.
"Sorry" she mumbled as she looked over to those blue eyes staring back at, great the American girl was a surgeon too and most likely thought Ally was simple.
"She needs gauze" was shouted into Ally's ear causing her to flinch as she quickly busied herself handing the dick head gauze who then handed it to the mysterious blue eyed girl.
"Thanks" came from the Surgeon who Ally could sense gave her a sympathetic smile. Another tall man walked into the operating theatre known as Mr. Masood who performed the amputation.
Smart comments were throwing in the brunettes direction for the rest of the surgery, she felt embarrassed. She was here doing her job and some snob of an arse hole was making a fool of her in front others.
Once the surgery was finised, the patient was brought to recovery. Stepping outside of the operating theatre as she pulled off her scrub gown throwing it into the bin she burst out to the corridor she leaned against the wall taking a deep breath, maybe this was a mistake, maybe she wasn't cut out to be a theatre nurse, maybe changing pads and emptying commodes was what she was meant to do.
"Nurses" she heard being muttered as her new favourite Doctor walked out of surgery with the Anaesthetist clearly mocking her. She placed her hands on her hips as she watched him walk away.
"Doctors" she muttered "What a prick" she added turning in her heels she jumped back as a masked face was directly in front of her.
"You know technically when we become Surgeons the whole Doctor thing drops" the sweet American voice said as her dark eye liner enhanced the light shade of blue in her eyes. Ally was memorised by them, she has never been so a taken by eyes before. Ally herself was more of a boob and arse sort of girl but she had yet to check these things on the surgeon.
"Miss Thomas" the light haired girl said as she extended her right hand allowing Ally to take it in her own "but you can call me Katie" she added
"and that was Dr. Keane, he hasn't quiet made the Mr. status yet" she pointed towards the end of the corridor.
"but you can call him a prick if you would prefer, just maybe not to his face" Katie joked as she dropped Ally's hand. The brunette's cheeks flushed feeling embarrassed that Katie had heard what she said, another thing to add to how shit of a nurse she was.
"Alison" Ally said not really like using her full name as it reminded her too much of her mother.
"Alison" Katie repeated the other girls words.
"I prefer Ally though" Ally added kind of hoping the other girl would say her name..she could feel an instant attraction and she hadn't even seen the girls face.
"Ally..I like it" Katie said as she reached up to scratch her nose noticing she still had a mask on
"Sorry" she laughed as she took her mask off, her eyes connected with Ally's chocolate brown eyes. She could stay here all day looking into those eyes but she knew she was already late for another surgery.
"Anyway I've got to assist another amputation" Katie said almost disappointed as she began to step backwards keeping her eyes on Ally.
"Everybody has a shit first day scrubbing in Alison" Katie said as she smiled and there it was Ally knew from that moment there was something special about this girl.
They say love at first sight and normally Ally didn't believe in that shit but she knew her life changed that day. That was the first day of the rest of her life or so at least she thought. It turns out that day wasn't the first time Katie had noticed Ally.
Katie had seen Ally around the four weeks prior to that day. Katie first noticed her in the staff canteen, sitting not far from the Nurse's table she had overheard people introducing themselves to her so she was another new kid on the block.
Katie had only arrived in Gambia six months before after finishing up in her homeland of New Jersey. She was almost finished her assistant surgeon internship in vascular surgery. She knew what it was like to start off new, how people looked at you like you were the dumbest thing to come out of America in her case.
Katie felt compelled to the new girl, that shiny chestnut hair and brown eyes she got a glimpse of from the distance. She was very attractive at least 5 years younger than herself, what totally made her gone on the brunette was hearing that British accent.
Katie was definitely a sucker for an English accent. She had taken an particular interest in the new Nurse. Her first encounter with her today confirmed her feelings, she was definitely attracted to Ally. She thought it was cute how flustered the brunette was during the surgery, she couldn't help glance up every now and then from her work as she watched Ally's fingers point at each instrument clearly naming them off in her head.
Ally had scrubbed into 4 minor surgeries later that week all of which performed by Katie. A week later they shared their first kiss. A month after their first kiss they moved into together and on their six month anniversary. Katie flew them to South Africa were they exchanged vows on a secluded beach in Cape Town...
***
"So what do we do now" Ally asked not having a clue what was going on. She was still married to the girl sat next to her on the bed but yet the same girl hates her guts. Do they stay married or what?
Katie wiped her tears as she tilted her head back sighing as she looked up to the ceiling. The more she thought about it, the more she knew she was crazy. She had asked for a divorce not proceeded with it and now turned up on her wife's door step unable to even explain why she was in the country.
"I don't know" she replied shrugging her shoulders.
"Do you want me to leave" she added turning her head to look into those brown eyes still full of sadness after all these months, they lacked the spark they had when they were together.
"I don't know" Ally replied honestly, she didn't know. Could she really have someone she broke to pieces and knew she still loved in her life..in her work? as what..her friend?
Or does she tell Katie to leave, could she handle saying another good bye to her. To the girl she loved, still does. She still had her doubts. Why now did Katie turn up. Where was Katie's angered attitude Ally was used the months leading up to her departure and why the hell was she introducing herself as Ally's wife.
"So you want me to leave" Katie asked her voice now low and timid..
"No...I..I just can't get my head around this Katie, I'm still me, I'm still the person who ruined our marriage, It's me who you hate and wanted to leave your life..and now..what you want us to be friends?wives? I just don't know what this is" Ally spoke honestly. She watched as Katie's eyes closed momentarily. She knew this was just as hard for Katie as it was for her.
"Al" Katie sighed as she turned her body towards the brunette giving Ally her full attention
"I know you probably think I'm insane after how this ended in Gambia, I was so hurt and bitter and probably still am to some extent but life there wasn't my life anymore, I tried so hard to block you out..pretend like I didn't need you in my life..for months I pretended to be happy, that I had moved on..then one morning I woke up and before I knew it I was on a flight to Heathrow to come here..I moved here a month ago..I wanted to find you straight away to at least talk but when Denny told me where you worked I just went for it..applied to the hospital and they offered me the job straight away...I'm not here to destroy your life or make you feel guilty" Katie spoke as she played nervously with her wedding ring on her right middle finger.
"I want you back in my life" Katie said as she chewed her cheek, it was the truth.
"I'm not saying I want us to get back together or that we ever can but I need to try, I don't know..try.."
"Ok" Ally interrupted.
"Ok" Katie's eyes furrowed at the brunette who nodded.
"We can try be friends or whatever people do who are still married but are not together" Ally chuckled. She knew herself she was mad for agreeing to do this, to try and be friends with someone she had already had her most intimate and loving relationship with but deep down she had already lost the best thing of her life when her and Katie broke up so NOW what did she have to lose.
Thank you for reading :) X