IT WAS OFFICIAL, I was back in middle school.
I couldn't even remember the last time a kiss remained a peck instead of a full blown make-out session which would later lead to sex.
One had to have steel-hard self control to be able to say 'no' in the face of a horny, drunk teenager in a small black dress begging to be fucked. I groaned into my pillow. Jaxon didn't even attempt to take advantage of me. He just patted me on the head before ordering some girl to have me sent to my room.
It could only mean one thing. There was only one logical explanation - he didn't like me. He thinks I'm dumb and unattractive.
The realization was more painful than I was used to.
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Monday afternoon felt foggy and dream-like, I'd attended Calculus and scored full marks on my test, then I'd floated through the rest of my classes, paying little to no attention to what the teachers had to educate.
During lunch, major grapevines informed us we'd be holding our first student general meeting in the semester to commemorate the election of our new student body president. I didn't feel like attending. However, the compulsory attendance clause promised disciplinary actions upon law unabiding students.
I arrived at the venue five minutes late, just in time to hear the final part of a speech by the advisory teacher. The auditorium was filled with what I assumed to be all 716 students and 30 faculty members.
My eyes roamed the students seated near the stage, and I caught sight of the back of Jaxon's head. It made my heart flutter. I blinked and cleared my head just in time for the advisory teacher to inform us that voting period was over and that a new president and vice-president had been elected in light of Chelsea's departure and Elias's resignation.
"I'm going to hand the mic over to your new student council President now. Put your hands together for Jaxon Ortega. Such a close tie between Jaxon from Faction Five and Callie Hernandez from Faction One."
The latter part of her sentence was muffled with applause from the student body that ricocheted off the walls. I sat frozen in my seat, finding it a tad hard to believe that so much had been happening whilst I'd been holed up in my room worrying about my own problems.
Jaxon tapped the mic to call for our attention. It felt wrong. I couldn't reconcile the person standing onstage with the person who'd pressed such a chaste kiss on my lips before telling me I was drunk, and that I 'probably wouldn't remember anything the next morning'.
I casted my gaze downwards. I didn't need to live with this embarrassment, I told myself, grow up.
"Good afternoon and thank you for showing up. First of all I'd like to give my thanks to Mrs. Hale, who was present through the council's thickest and thinnest. I'd also like to thank my team of elves who made all of this possible," Jaxon's entire speech eluded charisma, dissimilar to the measured and sometimes deadpanned voice he took with me.
Not once did I glance upwards as Jaxon espoused his views on the importance of righteousness, respect, responsibility and religion.
Jaxon then summoned the newly elected VP so she too, could give a speech. One needn't brains to realize that things would no longer be the same, not anymore.
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That night, my phone buzzed with persistent calls from an unknown number. I couldn't pick up, however, due to the condition of my screen. I did have a stinging suspicion that it may be the money-lenders.
I'd after all promised that I would get back to them on the details of how I would repay the huge sum of money. I had this list of people I could seek help from. A list that was shrinking by the day - in light of my disinclination to communicate with Marc, and in light of how I'd attempted to fuck Jaxon.
It was honestly a miracle in itself that I'd managed to go for so long without my cellphone. Perhaps this was why I was so depressed; I spent most of my time studying and sleeping. As my thoughts meandered, I became hyperaware of the fact that I hadn't showered in two days. Mustering the strength, I forced myself out of bed.
I was going to fix my life, stat.
Fresh out of the shower, I donned a sweatshirt and sweatpants, before exiting the female hostels into the cool of the night. It was 7pm, I wasn't sure what I was looking for. But I'll be the first to admit that I expected to see Jaxon in the library, or Elias in the gym. Both were empty however.
So I consigned my tired self to the male hostels. I'd been here a total of two times: to collect a science report from Kiran, and to stay in Elias's room. I slumped against one of the couches in the lobby, magically expecting a familiar face to appear.
The first fifteen minutes were okay, I looked like I was waiting for a friend. But beyond that, the males - they were few and far in between, but each had the sentience and rationalism to concur that my friend had stood me up - started casting me worried glances.
When my eyelids shut in fatigue, someone saw fit to approach me.
"Andrea?"
My eyelids snapped open at the familiar voice.
"Elias," I breathed in relief. Just the person I was hoping to bump into. "What a coincidence!"
"Really?" He frowned. "My friend said you've been here for quite a while."
My jaws opened and closed. For once I humbly submit to the fact that I was at a loss for words. Elias took the seat beside me, causing the cushion to dip on my right. He was dressed in a T-shirt and basketball shorts, with a gym bag over his shoulders. I seemed to be interrupting his gym routine.
"Are you okay?" He broke the silence.
"I've seen better days," I admitted after a while. "Do you by any chance have a spare phone I could use?"
"Spare phone? Why?"
In response, I dug my hand into my pocket to retrieve my cracked phone. Elias's eyes grew wide, before he nodded in understanding.
"Did you drop it?"
I nodded.
"I could ask around if you want me to," he said, with concern etched heavily on his features. "Are you sure you're okay?"
I shrugged. "Just tired."
"When was the last time you ate a full meal?"
It was a good question, one that I couldn't answer myself. I'd been living off sandwiches and canned food for the past few weeks, something that would amount to serious chagrin if my parents were to find out. But I despised the cafeteria and I despised the people in my faction even more.
"I'm worried about your health," Elias continued.
"I ate biscuits this morning," I responded in a small voice.
"Don't tell me you're on a diet."
I could feel my facial expression twisting at the idea. I shook my head quickly, shoving my cracked cellphone back in my pocket.
"Come on, Andrea," Elias urged with a smile.
I found myself walking towards the cafeteria soon afterwards. The hallways were deserted for most part. We'd see the occasional student, but none paid us mind. I wondered how Elias was coping with his new lifestyle - the less glamorous one - but I didn't dare to ask.
He dragged me to the main counter, and asked for a serving of today's dinner special. I didn't realize how much I missed the taste of warm food until I beheld the plate of grilled beef with mashed potato in gravy.
Elias led me to a table situated at the centre of the cafeteria, the table belonging to the Faction Eights I suppose. It felt different sitting here than sitting at the Faction Fivers table located at one of the far corners.
If Elias noticed my discomfort, he didn't show it. Few words were exchanged as I shoved the food down my throat. Elias, at some point had taken out his phone to occupy his hands. I didn't blame him.
I felt exponentially better, healthier, more alive when I was done.
"Thanks, Elias," I said as I dabbed a napkin against the edges of my mouth.
He paused from texting to look at me. Then an easy smile took over, curving his lips upwards into one of his million dollar smiles I was used to. "Sure thing. You wanna talk about why you've been acting weird?"
"Weird how?"
"Like sleeping in the lobby of the male hostels, hardly eating..."
Unrequited love and financial issues. "It's my phone," I said instead.
Elias hummed. Then his face lit up. "If you're down for it... We could travel to the city real quick and get you a new phone!"
"We?" I echoed. "You'd come with me?"
"Sure, it's not like I'm busy."
I gestured at his gym bag. But he brushed it off, muttering something about how he could make up for his exercise by walking in the city.
Elias made a phone call, such that when we arrived at the main entrance of the school, there was a Bentley waiting. Elias showed something to the security guard - not cash, I noted - and then we were let out of school grounds.
"What was that you showed to the security guard?" I couldn't help asking as we climbed into his car.
Elias, while adjusting the seat and mirrors, said, "my parents paid extra for me to leave school grounds on weeknights. I have some kind of pass."
"You rich kids are insane," I huffed out.
Elias made an affirmative noise, before putting his car in drive. "I've been meaning to ask, what exactly do your parents do?"
There it was, the question that I dreaded and hated. I thought I would like this place because Chelsea once told me that financial status played no role in Richmond Park Academy. I would be the first to admit that no good can come out of divulging information like this to friends. You'd only be increasing leeway for your friends to take advantage of you in the future. Friendships should be kept qualitative, not quantitative, period.
"This and that," I told Elias.
"Come on," Elias egged me on. "I'm genuinely curious. I brought you home but I hardly know anything about you."
I succumbed. "My dad runs a company."
Elias seemed shocked. "A company? Really?"
I nodded, but I doubt he could see me. So I spoke. "Yes, really."
"Wait, you're not on scholarship then?"
"Nah," I said easily.
He went quiet for a while. "I honestly had you pegged for a scholarship student. But - but this explains why you don't seem so good at Chemistry then." I could tell that he was trying his best not to offend me, and it was endearing.
"Sad, but true," I confirmed. At which point, I decided to change the topic. "Where are we going?"
"San Fran," he said in response. "It's the nearest."
The next two hours whizzed by in a blur. Things felt easy with Elias, ever since I found out that he wasn't the perfect, handmade-by-God person that everyone thought him to be.
Elias DuPont was still an Adonis if such a wild concept ever existed, but I couldn't describe it - it just felt nicer to be with him now. Less expectations, far less fear of being subpar. I dared myself to cast him a glance when we stopped at a red light. He stared back.
Then it happened.
"I like you, Andrea."
No. No, no, no. I nervously dug into the paper bag containing my new, state of the art cellphone. It was still in a package, but now felt like a food time to unravel my phone.
"From the first time we spoke, I knew you were different."
My new phone had one of those 'unbreakable' screens. It had costed a hefty four figures, and I'd insisted on paying because although my parents had cut my budget exponentially, I was certain there was a reasonable provision for unforeseen circumstances - such as cracking the screen of my phone.
"I just want to say that I've never met anyone like you. What are you doing this weekend?"
Then the light turned green and Elias's car was once again in motion. My heart was beating in trepidation - not in a good way. The two-seater suddenly felt tiny, suffocating even. I tried to tunnel-vision my new phone, so I wouldn't focus on other unnecessary thoughts.
"You're not going to answer me?" Elias went.
"Sorry," I managed to choke.
A pregnant silence ensued. It was crackling. Far too quiet.
I reached forward to turn the radio on. A pop song began to fill the silence of the car. It was supposed to eliminate the tension, but it wasn't working. I clenched my fists as I tried syncing my heartbeat to my own breathing.
"It's okay," Elias said softly, presumably in reply to my weak apology. "I just read the signals wrong then."
"You're an amazing person, Elias," I provided. "I just feel like I'm not in the right state of mind to pursue any kind of relationship, with anyone. I have to focus on my studies."
"Yeah, right."
I could tell that he was sad. I had never witnessed Elias in a bad mood, not even his running-from-satan treadmill abuse at the gym could rival this. Sadness emanated his form in waves, I could feel it from where I sat. I gulped.
"It's all because I had a cosmetic surgery."
I was appalled. "Elias," I said in a disapproving voice. "You of all people should know that looks are temporary. And saying something like that aloud just... shows how superficial you are as a person. Don't ever say that, okay? Looks are looks, don't be shallow."
He sighed, but he didn't deign to reply.
Soon, we arrived back at school. I bounded out of the vehicle before he could bid me farewell.
(unedited)