It was a warm day.
Maybe that shouldn't have surprised Lauren given that the weather was supposed to steadily rise in temperature, but so far February had been pretty cold, and so it did leave her somewhat shocked.
It made her kind of annoyed too, if she were being honest, because of course the weekends and the days she had morning or night shifts would be cold, while the days she could be enjoying a nice afternoon out with Camila would be warm. It was just her luck.
Lauren huffed as she set her bag down on her desk, already in her uniform, and sat on her chair. But then a thought crossed her mind and a big smile took over her face. If there was anything to be happy about, it was-
"She said yes!" Normani screeched, hugging Lauren's neck from behind her and scaring her to death.
Yep, that was it. If there was anything able to lift her mood effortlessly, it was her friends' engagement.
Normani snickered at Lauren's small jump, but the green eyed girl couldn't even glare at her friend. She turned around to face Normani, with a hand on her chest and a huge grin on her face, and simply laughed gleefully at her.
"I know! You told me yesterday. Or, well, I guess technically it was today since it was like midnight. And like, two more times through your texts this morning." Lauren exclaimed.
Normani had the biggest grin on her face. "I'm not even sorry, Laur."
"I don't want you to be." Lauren stated, getting up and hugging her friend tightly.
Lauren hadn't been able to drop by Ally's to give Normani a ride earlier that Thursday because she had run late, but she totally intended to go there after work and drown her best friend in affections and congratulations. Besides, they had gushed about it and Ally had cried on the phone for about half an hour before Lauren realized she was indeed late, which was why she hadn't been able to congratulate Ally personally earlier.
(It wasn't really her fault.)
"I still can't believe she said yes." Normani said, shaking her head in bewilderment as she pulled away.
"Well, I can. We're totally celebrating tomorrow, right?"
"Oh yes, girl! I'm calling Issartel too! And Dinah, of course. If Camila wants she can bring Shawn or her friends too." Lauren chuckled as Normani went on. "What are you laughing at, Screamer?" Normani asked mockingly, making Lauren roll her eyes, but her huge smile betrayed her true feelings. "The more the merrier!"
"We'll bring my entire family, happy now?" Normani nodded with a satisfied grin and Lauren laughed before shaking her head affectionately. "Now, come on, tell me the detai-"
"Everybody listen up!" Lieutenant Joseph interrupted her. "The captain wants to have a word with the police officers, so get yourselves to the meeting room." Lauren looked at Normani, who seemed just as confused as she was feeling, and she guessed the entire precinct must have been like that, because not a minute later the lieutenant clapped his hands. "Now, people!"
That seemed to break the trance Lauren was in, much like the other offices in the room, and she made her way to the meeting room with Normani by her side. They sat down together with Officer Lucas at one of the big rectangular desks and waited.
Not too much time had passed when Captain Russell walked in, closing the door behind him and walking up to his own desk in front of all the others. He looked around the room and Lauren thought his gaze was fixed just a moment longer on her, but before she could really think about it, he started talking.
"Good afternoon, officers. I've called you here just as I've done with your colleagues who had morning shifts and just as I'll do with those who'll take over for the night. As you know, our Commander had decided to try out this new way of law enforcement, where there are no patrols. It's been tested on a few other states and it had been decided that our area would be the next. In spite of the information this experiment brought to our attention, her and I had a meeting and after talking with everyone that we needed to talk to, we agreed to go back to the traditional patrols, at least for a while, to gather more data. This means that as of next Monday, you'll either be arranged with a patrol car for you and your partner or with a determined area, similarly to security duties. But I'm sure you're all familiar with this, given that, well, it's the usual way of enforcing law." Captain Russell finished his speech clasping his hands behind his back and walking around the table, leaning back on it. "Any questions?"
Lauren was as confused as she was surprised to hear the news. Captain Russell had never shown any signs of displeasure with their different policy; in fact, no one had. Lauren looked at Normani and Lucas, both to her right, but they seemed just as lost as she. Lauren hadn't personally met their Commander, but she knew her to be a very serious and intelligent woman. She guessed she was probably the one behind the change.
"Good afternoon, sir. I have a question." Lauren, along with everybody in the room, turned to look at the owner of the voice, a young officer whose name was Ryan or Rick, something like that. "What was the motive behind this sudden change? I thought that the data was showing improvement in response time and that no cases of police brutality had happened ever since we started this experiment. And what about the public survey?"
Captain Russell sighed and once again Lauren felt his eyes on hers for just a second longer than usual as he scanned the room before staring at the man who had asked the question.
"Well, the survey will still be made, with some changes of course. We will give it some time so that the people can compare both periods of time, with and without street patrols." The captain explained and rubbed his temples with his eyes closed before starting again. "As for the motive... I'm sure you've all heard of what happened last Friday."
He paused and the whole room was silent. Lauren's heart rate had sped up alarmingly by this point, but she couldn't make assumptions. Even if everything pointed to what she was thinking. No, it couldn't be it. It couldn't-
"As I said before, I met Commander Hastings a few times and we came to a some conclusions. One of them was that the disaster could've been avoided if we had patrols. The response time would've been faster, given that there would already be cars out on the streets. I'm sure you can all understand what I'm saying. I'm not gonna lie to you, there were a few other factors, but this was the one that settled it."
Lauren's stomach dropped and her heart grew cold at his words. She started feeling physically sick as the realization dawned on her.
It had been her fault. They were changing back to their old ways because of her. Giving up on their precinct's differential aspect because she didn't make it in time. Not only was Lauren unable to do her fucking job and save lives, she was also responsible for ending an experiment that had brought almost only positive results.
Lauren didn't think it was possible for her to sit there for another minute without either passing out or throwing up, but somehow she did it. She felt Normani's hand hold hers under the desk and she knew the dark skinned girl was probably looking at her, but she couldn't move her gaze. Lauren stayed there, not listening to a word Captain Russell or any other person was saying anymore, allowing herself to only breathe in and out as emotion threatened to overcome her. But she didn't let it. Somehow, she didn't let it.
Lauren guessed it had something to do with Normani's hand clutched in hers, and the thought eased the tension on her insides a little bit. It also served as a reminder that she wasn't the only one affected by what had happened and that she had to be there for Normani as much as her friend had been there for her. Even if Lauren didn't want to be there for Normani – which she did, with all of her heart – she owned it to her for the amazing friend she had been since Friday.
(Since long before that, actually.)
With that in mind, Lauren turned to finally meet Normani's sorrowful eyes, squeezing her hand just as tightly.
"You okay?" Lauren asked, keeping her voice low and calm. Normani nodded and Lauren followed suit. "Good. We're good."
God knows how Lauren managed to keep her voice from trembling, but she did it. She couldn't show how much the new information shook her up, how it opened all the wounds she had been fighting to close. Lauren had to be there for Normani and for that she had to be strong. For that, she couldn't let it show.
Besides, now that she could breathe normally again, now that Normani's eyes were no longer staring at her – filled with guilt that reflected her own – this little voice in Lauren's head started to make itself known.
The little voice belonged to Camila and her words echoed through her mind. She had said it wasn't her fault on Friday and Lauren was sure she would say the same now. Lauren had a hard time believing that, given that if she had been just a little faster maybe they could've made it in time. But then again, if Camila believed it, she guessed it had to be at least somewhat true.
Lauren felt Normani's thumb graze the back of her hand and realized she had zoned out and probably missed something the older girl had said. Lauren turned to her and tilted her head apologetically, both of them still ignoring whatever the hell Captain Russell was going on about.
(Probably the new rules, but screw that, they could always learn them later.)
"Sorry, I zoned out. What did you say?" Lauren whispered.
"I asked you if you're okay." Normani said, searching Lauren's eyes. "Because when I say I am, I mean it. Do you?"
Lauren gulped, but squeezed Normani's hand, trying to look convincing. "Yes, don't worry."
"No, Lauren, I can't do that. I worry because I know that you still blame yourself for what happened. Don't. It wasn't our fault." Normani stated firmly. "I feel awful about what happened, but I'm healing, I'm accepting that it did and trying to move on. This sucks, but it's another part of the process, I guess. Please let yourself heal."
Normani's words felt like a slap to the face. Not that she intended them to be, or that they were violent in anyway, but it showed how much Lauren's closest friends saw through her. That scared her, because she needed to be strong to be there for Normani but how could she if the girl knew she was hurting?
At the same time, her words were like a revelation. It really wasn't her fault. If it was, it would've been Normani's as well, and the girl sitting next was absolutely unblamable for what had happened. She cursed herself for not looking at it through that angle before, for not realizing that if she didn't blame Normani one bit, she couldn't blame herself either. Lauren realized Camila was right after all.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I did blame myself, but not anymore, okay? I know better now." Lauren affirmed with a conviction that seemed to convince Normani. "And I'm okay, honestly." She added, to which her friend nodded and gave her a little smile.
Lauren returned it, but her heart had started spiking up again. Yes, she didn't blame herself anymore, but she wasn't really okay. Just because she had finally admitted to feeling guilty and moved past that, it didn't mean that she was ready to completely show her vulnerability. Lauren still believed she had to stay strong and forget about what she was feeling in order to be a good friend to Normani, a good girlfriend to Camila, a good police officer. The list went on.
One thing at a time, she guessed.
--//--
Lauren got home that night completely exhausted after what felt like days, but in reality were only a few hours. She closed the door and leaned against it, sighing, before leaving her bag on the small desk and turning to finally lock the door.
"Camz?" Lauren called, walking into the living room, massaging her own sore shoulders as she did so.
There was no reply, so Lauren entered their bedroom in search of her girlfriend. As soon as she stepped into the room, Lauren could hear the sounds of the shower and a tiny smile appeared on her mouth. Lauren sat down, still smiling, and let out a tired sigh. Camila had texted her saying that she would rehearse all day with Shawn and a few of their friends from the play. If the shower was any indication, she had probably just come back.
Joining her crossed Lauren's mind, but the girl was too tired and emotionally drained to even move from her spot on their bed. She hadn't even stopped by at Ally's place like she had intended to do and, honestly, all she wanted to do was crawl into a ball and sleep, preferably being held by Camila. Lauren was so done with the day, which had gotten increasingly more tiring as she was called time after time to deal with a multitude of things. At least she had Normani beside her the whole time, but she honestly couldn't wait for Camila to get out of the shower.
Lauren was just so tired; all she wanted to do, all she needed to do, was forget about the whole thing.
Fortunately, the sounds of the shower soon turned into dripping water and then stopped altogether. Not long had passed until Lauren saw Camila, dressed in only her panties and with a towel wrapped on her hair, walking out of the bathroom.
"Hey, babes. Looking good." Lauren smirked, the sight waking her up a little.
Camila's head whipped in her direction. "Oh my God, Lauren!" She exclaimed, the surprised look on her face making Lauren laugh out loud. "Why do you enjoy startling me so much?" She asked, laughing herself as she did so.
"I don't!" Lauren defended herself, but the half unimpressed half amused look on Camila's face told her she wasn't buying it. "No, look, I don't do it on purpose, you just look cute startled but I don't try to jump you or anything. I literally just got home, Camz."
Camila's smiled gently. "Sorry, I know. It's been ages since I last lived with somebody else and I kinda forgot how it's like in that sense, so sometimes I get a little triggered."
Lauren's eyes softened and she got up, reaching for Camila's hand and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Don't apologize, I'm the one who should apologize, I kinda forgot about that to be honest." Lauren gave her a sheepish little sad smile, cursing herself in her mind for forgetting something that important.
Camila's smile only got bigger and more genuine, though. "It's fine, Lo. I've gotta move past that at some point, right?"
Lauren nodded and this time kissed Camila softly on the lips, one hand still clasped in hers while the other rested at her neck, pulling her closer. Camila soon pulled back, though, a smirk on her lips.
"Slow down, baby, let me get dressed."
"That won't be necessary for what I have in mind." Lauren joked, making Camila laugh and slap her arm lightly.
"I'm cold and hungry, so I'm gonna need some clothes for what I have in mind, which is a nice pepperoni pizza that should be getting here at any moment now." Camila winked and walked past Lauren, toward their wardrobe.
Lauren could only chuckle and sit back down on the bed, watching Camila through heavy eyelids and feeling that some weight had been lifted from her heavy heart. It was incredible how a presence alone could be so determining to her mood, but that didn't stop the physical and mental exhaustion Lauren was facing.
(Camila would call her crazy, but Lauren would have even skipped the pizza for a good twelve hours of sleep.)
She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes with a sigh. Lauren guessed Camila must have heard it because not too much time later the smaller girl was sitting by her side and pushing back her hair.
"You okay, baby?" Camila asked.
"Yeah, just tired." It wasn't a complete lie, Lauren just omitted the part where she was emotionally drained from the day.
Lauren opened her eyes and stared up at her girlfriend dressed in one of her old t-shirts and sweatpants. She looked beautiful and the thought made Lauren smile. Camila stroked her hair affectionately, staring intently at her.
"They're putting us back on patrols because of what happened last Friday." Lauren shared, sighing again.
Camila stopped her ministrations for a moment, going back to running her fingers through Lauren's hair after the initial shock had passed.
"I'm sorry, baby, I know how much you were proud of your policy." Camila said, her voice low. "You know it's not your fault though, right?" She added after hesitating for a minute.
Lauren smiled a little and nodded, closing her eyes again. "Yeah, I know. Someone helped open my eyes."
"I wonder who it could be." Camila joked in a mocking, yet light, tone. "But how are you feeling about that?"
"Sad, but okay." Lauren replied, feeling proud of herself for managing to open up at least a little bit.
Camila seemed to catch onto that, since Lauren felt her soft lips kiss her forehead not a minute later, which made her open her eyes again. Camila had a gentle smile on her face and seemed to understand that even though that was a big step for Lauren, she wasn't ready to share more yet. And like Lauren had come to realize over the months and more specifically these last couple of weeks, Camila wouldn't pressure her.
"Okay." Camila said, simply. Lauren closed her eyes again and Camila held her hand with her free one, squeezing it. "Don't sleep, you gotta eat."
"Just 'till it gets here." Lauren breathed.
"You and I both know you wouldn't wake up even if Godzilla was right outside destroying Manhattan." Camila deadpanned, making Lauren laugh with her eyes still closed. "Plus, a letter addressed to the both of us got here and I didn't want to open it without you."
Lauren opened her eyes groggily, furrowing her eyebrows in concentration as she looked up at her girlfriend, who had stopped her hand on Lauren's hair. Camila giggled and bent down to give Lauren a chaste kiss.
"You're so cute when you're sleepy." Camila mumbled against Lauren's lips.
Camila moved with the intention of sitting back straight, but Lauren held the brown eyed girl by her neck, bringing her lips back together with her own. Camila smiled slightly and fixed her position, moving her legs so that she was no longer sitting by Lauren's side, but straddling her. Their lips never parted, so as Lauren slid back on the bed, Camila's body bending down with it, and soon she was laying on top of her.
In spite of the compromising position, they shared slow, gentle kisses, without the intention of taking it further. Lauren was tired and she could bet that Camila was too. Besides, she didn't want to be surprised or stopped in the middle of making love to her girlfriend like they'd been so many times before in her old apartment.
After a while Camila sighed contently against Lauren's mouth and she smiled in return, which made the smaller Latina part their lips and lean back with a loving smile. Camila was caressing Lauren's cheek with her thumb and in that moment, she felt so overwhelmed with her feelings for the girl on top of her that she almost let them slip right there.
Fuck it.
Lauren opened her mouth to say the words that had been itching to come out and that she had only been holding back with the intent of making her confession in the most romantic way on Valentine's day, but she couldn't take it anymore. She opened her mouth to say them, but she never got the chance to do so, because in that moment the intercom buzzed, signaling that the pizza had arrived.
Fuck them.
"Ugh." She groaned instead.
Camila chuckled and gave her one last kiss before getting to her knees and standing up to answer the intercom, leaving a frustrated Lauren behind her. She stayed in the living room long enough to actually get the pizza, giving the young cop time to think and cool down. It probably had been for the best that she didn't confess her love now since it would ruin her plans, already carefully crafted with the help of Normani, Ally and even Dinah. The Polynesian had convinced Camila to not make reservations for any restaurant under the assumption that Lauren would probably have already done so. Only she knew that Lauren had done so, or kind of, and Dinah could be very persuasive, so that had been relatively easy.
(Relatively, because where Dinah was persuasive, Camila was stubborn, so it did take a whole day, but still, totally worth it.)
Lauren sighed and got up when she heard the front door slam and Camila calling for her. She changed into more comfortable clothes and walked out of the bedroom, the tiredness from the day creeping back up in her. Lauren recalled all of the changes that she and Normani had to learn later by their colleagues, like the fixed schedules. Lauren groaned as she thought of having afternoon shifts everyday, her least favorite kind, but at least she would now have both Saturday and Sunday free.
When Lauren walked into the kitchen, she had a small smile playing on her lips from remembering that Valentine's Day was arriving, and decided that it was about time that she formally asked Camila out. What she had planned would still be a surprise, so she guessed that just asking to take her on a date couldn't hurt. With that in mind, the green eyed girl wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's lean waist just as she was picking up plates from the cabinet.
Camila only hummed contently and leaned back into her as she put the plates on the sink, so Lauren took that as a good sign to just get it over with.
"Babe." She called, her voice low and raspy.
"Yeah?"
"Would you like to go out with me this Sunday?" Lauren asked, suddenly feeling a little insecure about the whole thing.
To her utmost happiness, Camila only giggled happily in response and turned in Lauren's arms, wrapping her own around the older girl's neck.
"Of course I would, Lo. You don't even have to ask me." The smaller Latina chuckled, giving Lauren a quick kiss. "I would love to." She exclaimed cheerily.
Lauren's grin couldn't have been bigger as she got out a weak, "okay," and kissed Camila again.
After a while they had to part for air and decided to finally eat. They sat down at the benches by the kitchen counter in comfortable silence and Lauren could feel her mood getting better by the second. She was still exhausted, yes, but the mere presence of her girlfriend was enough to soothe her. They stayed like that until Lauren remembered something Camila had mentioned earlier.
"Hey, Camz, what was that about a letter?" She asked.
"Oh, yeah, right!" Camila exclaimed, reaching for the end of the kitchen counter, which was on the wall of their front door, and grabbed a letter. "I haven't opened it, do you want to do it?"
Lauren shrugged and took the letter from Camila, who was holding it out for her. She turned it in her hands and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. It really was addressed to the both of them, in some fancy cursive handwriting, and Lauren had no idea what it could be about.
She opened it and inside there was a somewhat thick, folded, white piece of paper. Lauren unfolded it and started reading its contents, placing it between her and Camila so that her girlfriend could read it too. It was an invitation, which, nice, but who would invite them and wher-
It was an invitation for Lauren's uncle's birthday party.
An invitation for Marcus's birthday party slash fake ass, publicity hunting fundraiser. Which was happening that Saturday, in two days.
An event that Lauren had completely forgotten about in those two weeks and one she most definitely could not miss.
Lauren didn't need to look at Camila to know that she was staring questioningly and worriedly at the side of her skull, but the young cop couldn't bring herself to turn to her. Or do anything other than stare at the invitation hoping it would catch fire, that is.
(And to think that her mood was getting better.)
Obviously, she didn't have that luxury. She was Lauren Jauregui, after all, and the universe seemed to be out to get her these days.
Lauren sighed, finally meeting Camila's eyes. She knew that they were most likely reflecting what she was feeling, but at that moment she didn't really care.
Honestly, fuck her life.
--//--
Ally's big, shiny smile was the first thing Lauren saw approximately three seconds after ringing her doorbell the next day.
(She didn't know how someone so small could be so fast, but Ally was proved that it was indeed possible.)
"Lauren! Camila! I'm so happy you guys could come!" Ally exclaimed, tackling both girls into a big hug.
Lauren heard Camila chuckle and, smiling herself, the young cop let go of her girlfriend's hand to wrap both arms around two of the most important people in her life.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Al." Lauren said, pulling back and smiling at her friend.
Camila nodded frantically, stepping back but still holding onto one of Ally's arms. "Me neither. I may not know for as long as Lauren has, but you've been a great friend, I couldn't not come."
Ally seemed touched at their words, pulling both girls into another quick hug before letting them inside the apartment.
"Y'all better stop because I promised myself I wouldn't cry tonight." She said, closing the door behind her.
Lauren and Camila both laughed, walking deeper into the big living room. Camila was a little hesitant, since she had only been to Ally and Normani's apartment a few times, but Lauren pulled her by the hand. Camila looked up at her, a soft smile on her face, and Lauren mirrored it.
"Make yourselves comfortable, guys, Mani went downstairs to grab us some wine because we only had one bottle at home, but she should be back any second now." Ally said.
Lauren knew her friend was only saying that to make Camila more at ease, since Lauren was so used to the apartment by now she made herself home every time she went there within seconds of arrival.
They lived in a nice apartment in a building beside the coffee shop so it would be easier for Ally to run it. Because of this, they had all grown used to calling the café downstairs, but Camila had a confused look on her face as she and Lauren sat down on the couch.
"She means the coffee shop." Lauren explained.
"Oh." A look of realization crossed Camila's face and she chuckled. "Makes sense."
Lauren smiled fondly before holding her face with one hand and kissing her gently. Camila raised one hand to cup Lauren's cheek in return, but soon they heard Ally clearing her throat and parted.
"No kisses at least 'till Mani comes back, thank you." She demanded playfully, sitting on the loveseat they had beside the couch, facing the other side of the coffee table.
"Fair enough." Camila said with a smirk while Lauren only blushed and rolled her eyes pretending to be annoyed, though her small smile gave her away.
Ally looked like she was going to say something, but the door opened again and Normani entered. The smaller girl's eyes lit up at the sight, and she got up to give her fianceé a kiss of her own.
"I guess that means we get to kiss now, right Ally?" Camila asked loudly, making Lauren burst out laughing, soon joined by Ally herself, leaving a confused Normani staring at all of them.
"Hey Mani!" Lauren exclaimed, amused at the expression on her partner's face.
"Hi! I- uh, what?" Normani tilted her head, still holding onto Ally's waist, who rested her forehead against the taller girl's shoulder, laughing.
"It's nothing, ignore them." Ally said, looking back up again.
Lauren got up at that point, Camila following suit, and both of them hugged Normani, who had a bottle of wine in one hand and only used one arm to greet them.
"Now that we've all said hi, what do you say we open this beauty?" Normani asked with a smirk, but Ally looked at her with a serious look, like they'd had that conversation before.
"We're waiting until for Dinah, Keana and Noah." Ally stated firmly.
"Yeah, I agree." Camila piped in.
Normani pouted. "But what if they take too long?"
"They won't." Ally shrugged. "If they do, we wait."
Normani placed the bottle on the kitchen counter after that and Lauren couldn't hold back her smirk. She noticed Normani looking at her and shook her head and mouthed whipped, to which the other girl just narrowed her eyes in a glare.
"Mila, help me choose some songs." Ally called excitedly, to which Camila grinned, Lauren gasped and Normani grimaced.
"Oh yes, music privileges!" She exclaimed, walking over to the stereo with Ally and leaving the two cops behind.
"Doesn't our friendship mean anything to you, Ally?" Lauren asked dramatically. She knew Ally the longest, she should totally have some kind of say in this.
"Screw that, doesn't our engagement mean anything?" Normani exclaimed.
"Stop complaining, I've lost count of how many times you've chosen songs for me. Let Mila be in charge for once." Ally dismissed them quickly. Camila laughed happily at that, turning around to give them a thumbs up, to which Normani crossed her arms while Lauren couldn't help but smile.
"Now who's whipped?" Normani asked in a low voice, laughing quietly.
Lauren didn't even turn her gaze from her girlfriend's form, who now had her back to her. "Shut up."
"As you wish, Screamer." Normani snickered.
Normani left Lauren's side to get something from the kitchen and the girl leaned back against the kitchen counter, watching as Ally and Camila talked – and, in her incredibly adorable girlfriend's case, gesticulated – animatedly while looking at a phone.
Being somewhat alone for the first time that night, Lauren felt all the worries she had managed to push to the back of her mind so far come rushing back. Sighing and feeling like rolling her eyes at her own predictability, Lauren massaged her temples.
She refused to think about her uncle's party right now. Lauren knew she had to go and Camila had agreed to go as well, so it was settled. That was it, matter solved, there was no use in sulking about the inevitable.
Lauren also knew Camila still wondered about her relationship with Marcus, but the green eyed girl had hopefully quelled her girlfriend's worries the previous day. She had explained her reaction to the invitation as simple desire to not go because she didn't like those kinds of big events with rich and fake people, also reminding Camila that she didn't really like her uncle.
(Lauren almost laughed at the understatement.)
Normani came back with two glasses of water and gave one to Lauren, snapping the girl out of her thoughts, for which she was incredibly thankful.
"Thanks." Lauren said before clicking their glasses together.
Normani simply nodded with a smile and joined Lauren, sighing as she looked at Camila and Ally. Lauren followed her gaze and felt her lips form a grin once again as she noticed the two small Latinas sitting on the floor, completely focused on the task at hand.
"Look at our girls, bonding and shit." Normani said in a solemn tone that sent Lauren into a giggling fit.
"Deep, Mani." Lauren answered, grinning.
Their girls. Lauren liked the sound of that.
Camila turned to look at her with sparkling eyes and winked, making Lauren's smile get even bigger.
"Gross." Normani whispered, causing Lauren to glare playfully at her while a blush spread through her cheeks.
"Shut up, you jerk." Lauren nudged her and Normani laughed.
"Did you know that's all you ever say to me?"
"Wonder why." Lauren muttered sarcastically before sipping on her water, making her friend laugh yet again.
It wasn't long before Camila and Ally finished setting up a playlist for the night and Lauren and Normani joined them in the living room to catch up and eventually sing along to the songs playing on the stereo. Lauren didn't really participate in their impromptu karaoke sessions, but she made up for it by drumming.
They were in the middle of a heated discussion about which pizza toppings were the best ones when intercom buzzed. Normani jumped up to answer it and stood still in front of the door to get it when their friends arrived while Lauren, Camila and Ally turned around to look in its direction.
As soon as the doorbell rang and Normani opened the door, Dinah came storming in, not even bothering to say hello. Surprisingly, Keana and Noah followed behind her, seeming amused.
"Do you know what I just realized in the elevator with those two?" Dinah exclaimed, crossing her arms. When no one answered, she continued. "I'm not third or even fifth, but seventh wheeling tonight!"
Lauren burst out laughing the second she heard the words, while Camila only gaped and Ally shook her head fondly muttering something that sounded a lot like, "Lord help me". Normani slapped Dinah's arm lightly, making Lauren fall back on the couch, laughing even harder, while Camila rose a hand to her mouth, unable to contain her own fit of giggles. Noah had been laughing for a while now too, leaning against the still opened door, while Keana only smirked with her arms crossed at the entire situation.
"Normani Kordei! What the hell?" Dinah exclaimed, her eyes wide.
"You come into my house! To my private engagement party! And say stuff like that? Girl, we haven't opened the wine because your ass was late!" Normani almost yelled, glaring at the taller girl, though Lauren could clearly see it was an act.
Apparently so could Dinah, since not a minute later she was smirking. "Well yes! Have you ever seventh wheeled? It's not fun! And you're dumb for not opening the wine earlier, don't blame me for your mistakes."
Normani crossed her arms, seeming offended. "Well actually..."
Ally cleared her throat. "Dinah! How lovely of you to come by!" She sang while getting up, receiving a disbelieving look from her fianceé in the process.
"No biggie, Smallz. It's not like I haven't come here before for smaller reasons, right?" Dinah answered, hugging Ally.
Normani took the time to greet Keana and Noah with warm hugs, though she was still scowling a little bit.
"Stop pouting, Mani, you're engaged!" Keana said, smiling widely.
"Yeah, to a traitor." Normani muttered, earning a confused look from Keana and another muffled laugh from Lauren.
"I read somewhere that a murderer was a worthy companion." Noah piped in cheerily while hugging Normani, who pulled back puzzled.
Ally also stopped her conversation with Dinah to stare at the only man on the room. "I haven't killed anyone though?" She said.
"Yeah, but like, if murderers can be worthy companions, so can traitors." He shrugged.
"Traitors?" Ally asked, tilting her head.
Noah seemed to realize she hadn't heard what Normani had said, his face paling once he noticed the glare he was receiving from the dark skinned girl.
Lauren chose this moment to stop only watching the hilarious exchange to get up and participate in it. Maybe do some damage control before it all blew up. The seven of them could cause some trouble together, and someone had to keep everyone sane.
Camila rose to her feet alongside her and Lauren reached an arm around her girlfriend's petite waist to give her a kiss on the cheek. Camila smiled lovingly at her and Lauren winked before turning back to her tense – or amused and entertained – friends.
"Children, children, let's not fight, please?" Lauren said in a feigned condescending tone.
They all turned to the couple at the same time, making Lauren's smile falter.
"What are you, our mom?" Dinah scoffed playfully.
"Yeah, nice try, Laur." Noah chuckled nervously, nodding in silent thanks despite his attempt at mocking her.
"Don't be mean to Lauren, you're lucky to have such an understanding mother." Camila suddenly chimed in.
Lauren nodded at first by pure instinct before it dawned on her what Camila had said and she guessed she understood Normani then.
Betrayal.
She turned to Camila, gaping, while everyone else started laughing again. "I can't believe you!" Lauren exclaimed, letting go of Camila's body, who only giggled and reached for her again.
Lauren let Camila envelop her in a hug, her chin to the green eyed girl's chest, with her big brown eyes and sweet smile.
"Sorry?" Camila said in a low baby voice.
"No." Lauren replied nonchalantly, but she could totally feel her resolve breaking.
"Please?"
Lauren couldn't help but smile then, Camila's cuteness would never cease to impress her – and get her to do whatever her girlfriend wanted.
"Okay." Lauren said simply before leaning down to give Camila a simple, sweet kiss, while placing her hands on the girl's waist.
"Hey guys, I guess they really are our parents, look at them being gross and making us kids uncomfortable." Dinah's loud voice cut through the air, making Camila laugh into the kiss. Lauren ended up laughing as well, but not before flipping the Polynesian off with her eyes still closed, which earned a new round of laughter from their friends.
"Ohhh, mom's angry!" Normani exclaimed while Lauren and Camila finally parted.
"Y'all haven't seen angry Lauren." Ally shook her head, bringing said girl's attention to her, who had ended up leaning against Normani. Keana raised her hands in agreement.
"Are there stories? College stories?" Dinah squealed while Camila only pulled back to look at Lauren with her eyebrows raised.
Lauren suddenly wanted to explode, or maybe crawl into a hole and stay there.
(She'd have to settle for diverting everyone's attention, though.)
"So, what about that bottle of wine, huh?" She exclaimed, gaining excited smiles in response.
Everyone started to disperse, but even as Dinah walked to the kitchen she managed to get Lauren's attention. "This isn't the end, Lauser!"
Lauren buried her face in Camila's neck, who rubbed her back soothingly while trying to contain her giggles.
"I still want to know too, though." Camila whispered into her ear, making Lauren groan.
Camila didn't try to hide her laughter this time.
--//--
A few hours into the night, Lauren found herself sitting on one of the chairs Ally and Normani kept on their small balcony, sipping a glass of water as the cold wind blew her hair to the side.
Lauren had gotten away from the loud living room in which everyone was talking and laughing to answer a phone call from her mother, but had remained there a while longer, seeking a little bit of tranquility amidst the busy day.
Don't get her wrong, she was loving the night spent with her friends. But Lauren sometimes sought out a break, a moment to breathe, especially when life wasn't going all that well.
Clara had called her to tell Lauren that her uncle had arranged for a driver to pick her and Camila up on the night of the event, just like he had done for the rest of the family. Apparently it wasn't enough to go, they had to be under the spotlight as well since they were Marcus's family.
Lauren sighed and rested her head on one hand. She had gone to her uncle's events before, but there weren't all that many to begin with, only one every couple of years.That way, neither she nor her family were that known to the public, especially since Mike didn't seem too pleased with the prospect being associated with his brother for relative fame or money.
Still, every time he decided to throw one of these, Lauren knew she had a hard time ahead of her.
Lauren heard the door to the balcony opening behind her and didn't turn her head, expecting it to be Camila who came looking for her. But when she felt the hand on her shoulder and looked up, it was Ally's face she met, all soft smiles and worried eyes.
Lauren couldn't help but smile herself, but it felt bittersweet and probably looked as much.
"Are you okay, Laur?" Ally asked.
"You go straight to the point, huh?" Lauren chuckled, raising her head from her hand and letting her arm fall back on the armrest of the chair.
"I know you, Laur, better than anyone." Ally sat by her side and rested her hand on Lauren's arm. "Even yourself." She added in a lighter tone, again making Lauren laugh a little bit.
"True." Lauren answered, turning to face her best friend. "I don't know, Al, things have been kind of fucked up." She sighed. "First my uncle shows up, then there's the shooting and now he's got this birthday party that I had completely forgotten about. He invited me and Camila."
Ally looked deep into Lauren's eyes with a serious expression. "Don't go."
Lauren looked down, frowning. She had expected this reaction from Ally, the only one who knew about what her uncle had done when Lauren was younger, but she couldn't simply not go.
"I can't, Ally, you know that." She said in a small voice, not looking up. "I already told my parents we're going, my mom actually just called me to tell me about the car that's picking us up tomorrow."
Ally scoffed. "Of course you can." She moved her hand from Lauren's arm to her hand and squeezed it softly. "Lauren. Look at me." Lauren did as she was told and Ally continued. "Marcus is a horrible man regardless of being famous and rich. It doesn't matter if he's your uncle either and if you don't want to go to his party, then don't."
Lauren shook her head. "I have to go. It's not like a private birthday party, that I could supposedly miss. It's a public event, like, he made it into a fundraiser for publicity." Ally scoffed at this. "He invited us and my parents, Taylor, Chris and even Emily. I can't miss it, it'd be weird if only I out of all of us didn't go."
Lauren's anxiety was starting to kick in and she knew it. She knew it from the moment her heart started racing and her words started to come out faster than intended. But it was true, wasn't it? Lauren could bet Marcus had informed the press about his family already, at least their names and faces, so that there would be no mistakes during the coverage of the event. If Lauren didn't go, it would look weird, she knew it, the press might notice and even if they didn't, her family would think about it and she couldn't have that.
"Of course it wouldn't, do you think famous people usually invite their relatives to this sort of thing? They don't but even when they do, it's completely normal for people to not be able to go. What if you got sick or something?" Ally reasoned.
"But I'm not, am I? My parents would totally pressure me into going if I said I didn't want to, which only proves my point. It wouldn't look good."
"Who cares if it would look good? Honestly, Lo, the worst it looks for him the better I'll feel." Lauren couldn't help but smile at how Ally shrugged after saying this, but it still didn't help slowing her pulse.
Lauren shook her head again, softer this time. "Internally? Me too. But I can't let that show, Ally, I just can't. It's not about looking weird for him, I don't give a fuck about him or about what the press might say. I don't even think the press would care about that, but my family would. My dad would be upset because even if he didn't lean on my uncle all these years, he did help from time to time and my mom simply wouldn't understand why I wouldn't want to go. Taylor has gushed with me about the formal invitation earlier today and even Emily texted me asking what I would wear. For them there isn't the possibility of me not going, they wouldn't understand."
"Then make them understand, Lauren!" Ally exclaimed, suddenly moving her hand to Lauren's forearm. "Tell them what happened, you can't keep on living like this. They need to know."
"No, Ally, they can't!" Lauren whisper yelled, suddenly grabbing Ally's hand on her forearm. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "They can't know, they already deal with lots of stuff and I- I'm not ready, I don't think I could deal with it, not now at least."
"Deal with what, Lauren? Support, love?"
Lauren didn't know what to say, she didn't even know what she felt if she were being honest. She just- they couldn't know, it would only be an unnecessary burden. It had happened and nothing they could now would change it, so there was no use in bothering them.
"I don't know, I just can't deal with it right now." Lauren repeated, her voice wavering slightly. "Please don't tell them." She added in a low voice.
Ally squeezed Lauren's forearm before moving her chair closer to hers and wrapping her arm around the green eyed girl's shoulder, giving her a tight side hug. Lauren rested her head against her best friend's shoulder and the smaller girl lay her own head on top of Lauren's. Lauren felt Ally take a deep breath and closed her eyes when she started stroking her forearm with the hand she had around the young cop.
"I wouldn't do that without your consent, honey." Ally assured her softly. "You take your time, but you should tell them. You'll feel better, you'll see."
"Thank you, Ally." Lauren whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too." Ally leaned back to kiss Lauren's head. "And don't thank me, I'm just doing my job as your official best friend." She said in a lighter tone.
Lauren laughed, pulling back with a smile to look at Ally, who wore a small smile of her own.
"You got a trademark or something? So I know it's really official?" Lauren joked.
"Oh yes, it's on my id. Unfortunately I left it with... Monica! My assistant, of course. Let me get her." Ally answered, playing along. She cleared her throat and sat up straighter. "There you go, Miss Brooke, just as you required." She continued in a nasally voice.
Lauren giggled and Ally followed suit, her contagious laughter making Lauren laugh even harder. That minute exchange had worked wonders to lift her mood, just as Ally always seemed to do when she came up with her random characters.
"What would I do without you?" Lauren asked amidst her laughter.
"Oh honey, I have no idea."
Lauren nudged Ally and they laughed for a little while longer before calming down. They stayed in silence for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence, before Lauren's phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out and smiled as soon as she unlocked the screen.
Babes (10:27 pm): everything ok? i miss you
Lauren quickly typed a reply, her eyes never once leaving her phone.
Lauren (10: 27 pm): Yeah, just talking to Ally for a bit. We'll be back in a sec.
Babes (10:27 pm): okay baby xo
"Does she know?" Ally's voice cut through the silence, startling Lauren a little bit.
Lauren put her phone back in her pocket before shaking her head. She had no doubt about what Ally was referring to. "No and she doesn't need to. At least not now." Ally only nodded, so Lauren took a deep breath and continued. "But I plan on telling her eventually."
This time, Ally smiled proudly and Lauren mirrored her expression. Not that what she had to tell Camila was something good, but the fact that she was willing to open up was a big step for the raven haired girl and they both knew it. Lauren realized that for the first time in her life she actually wanted to talk about the abuse she had suffered with someone, even if she knew she wasn't ready for that just yet. Camila's words and actions had helped a lot in that aspect, even if what she'd told her hadn't been all that different from what Ally had been telling her for ages: that she could talk to her about anything and all that. Lauren couldn't explain it, maybe it was the way Camila had phrased it or the emphasis she had put on the importance of her feelings, but it had just... stuck.
(Lauren had a feeling that it was simply because it was Camila talking and, honestly, that made the most sense.)
"I'm really happy to hear that, Laur, you have no idea."
Lauren's smile got even bigger. "Well, I'm happy to say it. Oh and by the way, thanks for the help with Sunday, it means a lot."
Ally quickly waved off her thanks. "Don't worry about it."
"I'm telling her I love her." Lauren suddenly blurted out seconds after Ally had finished speaking, making the other girl gasp and then clap her hands in excitement.
"Oh my God, yes!" She exclaimed. "Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado, you better tell me everything after!"
Lauren chuckled. "Yes ma'am!"
Ally nodded, satisfied, and got up from her chair, stretching her arms after doing so. Lauren stood up as well and looked through the window on the wall that separated the balcony from the living room. There was Camila, laughing hard at something Keana was saying. Lauren smiled, happy that Camila had stopped feeling jealous of her friend, even if it did disappoint her a tiny bit.
(Camila really was extra hot when jealous, after all.)
"Let's go back, they're probably waiting for us." Ally said, but Lauren was still looking at her girlfriend through the glass.
"Yeah, let's go." She answered, finally tearing her gaze away from Camila to find a smirking Ally staring at her. "What?"
"You're so in love." Ally replied simply with a bright grin.
Lauren only smiled shyly and without a word she walked through the door into the living room. Her cheeks were burning up and she probably looked like a fool as her smile turned into a full grin at the sight of Camila, but she didn't care. There was no use in denying Lauren loved her and she didn't want to anyway.
When Camila turned around and green eyes met brown, all thoughts vanished from Lauren's mind, leaving only one: She loved her.
Lauren loved Camila, she knew that, and soon she would make sure the brown eyed girl knew it too.
--//--
A/N: heyyy guys! i can't tell you how sorry i am for taking so long to update, but college has been kicking my ass with how much work i gotta do.
that being said, i hope you enjoyed the chapter! tell me what you think, be it good or bad, i just want to know if you're liking the story haha. and if you have something negative to say, maybe i can work on it if you tell me what it is. suggestions, tips, anything really. if you want to say something, don't hesitate in doing so. oh and if you want to talk about stuff that's not related to the fic, that's fine too haha, i'm always open to listen :)
- Camila (hedasambassador on tumblr)