H O S H I
"I'm Sorry."
I didn't expect for those two words to come out of his mouth. I hoped it would be a "Me too." but instead he apologized for not liking me back. I guess it's partly my fault that my heart hurts so much. I was too confident. I thought Seokmin would like me back but nope, he didn't.
The younger looked at me sadly. I would look at myself the same way, to be honest. I finally had the courage to confess my feelings to him, I even bought chocolates for him, but all the effort was just a waste.
"I'm straight."
Again, I didn't expect him to say those two words. I hoped it would be a "Just kidding" or even a "Fooled you!" but I guess now I know why he rejected me. I should've known. I've been with him for years now and as we grew older, and as my feelings for him grew bigger, I imagined myself I would be with him and managed to fool myself that he was gay or at least bisexual.
We sat on his bed awkwardly. Him glancing at the door, hoping someone would knock or walk in to end this situation. My eyes were fixed on him, only him. His eyes, his nose, his mouth. I'm staring at him now because I know later, I won't have the strength to even glance at him. I would be too embarrassed.
Seokmin's prayers were answered because at the other side of the door, Mingyu's voice called out. He informed us it was dinner time and that the food had arrived. Seokmin quickly stood up, wanting to escape and I followed after. We locked eyes one last time until he, once again, did what I hadn't expected him to do. He hugged me.
"I'm sorry I can't love you the way you love me." and he left.
Tonight was the night that two hearts had been crushed.
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soonyoung bb i love u be with me instead
<3 leejihunie