I marched up to Xavier, feeling confident. My hair fell over my shoulders in waves and I chose to wear makeup today, wanting to look good. It was the stubborn part of me wanting Axel to regret what he did. Especially since he could never win my trust again.
Xavier was sitting at his desk, alone, and he was reading a book. I stopped in front of his desk and waited for him to notice me, which took a while. He was so focused on his book and I couldn't help but watch him, noticing he wore an adorable expression. That was exactly why I chose him.
When he finally noticed me, his eyes flew wide with surprise. He nearly dropped his book and flushed, embarrassed. I smiled at him.
"Oh, hey Zoey," Xavier said, his face red.
"Hey," I said. "I came here to tell you that it's a yes. I will go to the dance with you."
His jaw dropped in surprise and I couldn't blame him. I had rejected him three times and all of the sudden I was telling him I was going to be his date to the dance. I was surprised myself, but there was logic behind this random decision.
"Re-Really?" Xavier sputtered out.
"Yup." I grinned. "Can't wait."
I whirled around and walked off, going to my desk. Hannah was waiting there, looking excited, and I grinned back. But to my disappointment, my grin didn't feel genuine. It felt forced and I internally groaned, knowing I still wasn't satisfied.
When I reached my desk, Hannah exclaimed, "Do you have a date to the dance?"
"Yeah," I said, sitting down.
"This is so exciting," she squealed. "Aren't you excited?"
"Yeah," I lied.
The truth was, I only agreed because I was trying to forget. I knew I was spending too much time with a boy who didn't deserve it, so I was trying to spend time with a boy who did deserve it. Axel needed to be someone of the past, but I realized that was a difficult task. Because anyone who wasn't Axel was someone I didn't want to be with.
*****
I found myself outside, standing in the spot Axel and I usually talked at. It was odd how somehow in someway I was always drawn to Axel. He was like a magnet I couldn't resist and I wondered why. Why him of all people. It just didn't make sense and I groaned.
Boys were so frustrating, I thought as I looked down at my feet. I knew I was only thinking of one boy, but yet I knew that applied to many. They were just so confusing and infuriating, but yet something kept drawing you to them. It was a mystery and I became angry with myself, knowing I was becoming a very basic girl.
"Zoey."
My head flew up at the familiar voice and my eyes soon met the blue eyes that I had memorized. To my surprise, I found myself blushing, but that only made me furious. Remembering what Axel did, I glowered.
"Leave me alone," I said immediately.
"Zoey." Axel sighed. "I'm tired of doing this with you. I'm tired of us going back and forth when it comes to whether you hate me or not."
"You're the one who caused this!" I snapped. "If you weren't so bipolar with your personality this wouldn't be a problem."
He remained silent for a moment, leaving me glaring at him. My chest was rising and falling quickly and I felt nervous. I didn't know why, but I knew that I wanted Axel away from me. He needed to get out of my life.
"Zoey," Axel said gently. "What did I do wrong?"
"You freaking touched me!" I exclaimed, shocked he had to ask. "You know how I feel yet you ignore me and touch me. I hate that side of you."
"What side?"
"The side that thinks you're so perfect!" I found myself shouting in the silent field. "You think every girl wants you and every guy wants to be you! You think that everything should come to you easily. I hate that side of you!"
Once again Axel remained quiet, leaving me staring at him. I wanted him to do something that would make me seriously hate him. I wanted him to yell back at me. But to my disappointment, Axel did neither. He remained gentle and sincere as he stared at me.
"Fine. I admit I'm not perfect. No one is, but I have some serious flaws," Axel said, suddenly shoving his hand into the pocket of his jacket. "I'm sorry for what I did."
I opened my mouth to tell Axel sorry doesn't fix anything, but he shook his head, stopping me. Frowning, I watched him pull out a small book. It resembled a notebook.
"I'm an asshole, okay. I have many characteristics you probably hate," Axel said, handing me the book to me. "But I got this to show you what I like about you. There's so much and I hope you know I'm being genuine. Read it on your own and know this is a small apology from me."
Reluctant, I watched as Axel rolled his eyes and placed the book into my hand. It was red and thin. Looking at the cover, my eyes widened at the title that read: 30 Things I Like About You. My head flew up to ask Axel what this was about, but I saw that he was walking away. I opened t mouth to call after him, but it didn't feel right so I did nothing. Staring at the book, I knew I would read it at home.
*****
I sat on my bed. My back was pressed against the headrest and the book was on my lap. Memories of Axel in my room were on my mind and I shook them away, knowing I needed to focus on the gift from Axel. The title had my heart racing, so I wondered what the contents would do.
Taking a deep breath in, I decided to find out. I opened the book to the first pages that had the words 'I Like...' and beneath it were words written in Axel's hand writing. Those words said 'Your confidence.' My heart stuttered.
The following pages said your smile, your sass, your stubbornness, your intelligence, and so on. With every adjective I read, my heart felt lighter and happier. I was touched, especially as I discovered what Axel thought about me. And admittedly, the entire book was incredibly sweet. So sweet that I found myself smiling by the end of it.
Closing it, I sighed happily as I found my heart pounding with joy. Every adjective was so nice and thoughtful, and I knew he had put effort into this gift. Knowing that, I couldn't stay mad.
I closed my eyes and knew that Axel was someone that I just couldn't forget. Ever since the first day of high school, my eyes were always drawn to him and now the same could be said about my heart. It was so frustrating, but if I had to be honest, I was also glad that it was him. The more I got to know him, the more fond of him I became.