"Guess what!" Hannah exclaimed the second I sat down next to her.
"What?" I asked, curious.
"There's a school dance." Hannah grinned. "In two weeks. We're going."
I groaned. Dances weren't my thing. I didn't dance and I hated overly loud music, so this didn't sound fun to me. Hannah knew how I felt, but it was clear she didn't care.
"I'm not coming," I said, noticing we had ten minutes until class started.
"Zoey! You're so boring!" Hannah exclaimed, causing others to glance at us. "This is senior year. You have to come."
"No." I shook my head. "Hannah, I hate dances."
"You're coming. I don't care." She looked serious, so I shut up.
Sighing, I knew somehow I would be dragged to the dance by her. So instead of resisting, I decided to just go. Like she said, it was our last year, so might as well live it up to the fullest.
"Now, on to the good part," Hannah said, looking incredibly excited. "I have a date."
"Really?" My eyes went wide with surprise. "Who's the unlucky guy?"
She rolled her eyes at my comment, but smiled. "Archer."
"Really? He's actually nice."
I remembered how he once spoke to me and smiled. He had been nice and friendly, and I was glad he had asked Hannah to the dance. Although, I wondered why he had forgotten about me, even though I would have rejected him.
"He is," Hannah agreed dreamily. "And hot."
I rolled my eyes, but had to agree. Hannah was one lucky girl.
"So because I have a date," she said. "You have to get one, too."
"And why is that?"
"Because I don't want you to feel lonely." She pouted. "And it would be really, really awesome if we could double date."
I groaned, knowing we were about to have a debate. "But I don't want a date. I don't date in general."
"This isn't an actual date so screw that. But come on, just go to the dance with some guy. It'll be fun."
I shook my head, hoping she'd let it go. Going to the dance with a guy didn't sound fun. When all I wanted to do was to sit in a corner and watch others dance, having to worry about a date wasn't something I looked forward to.
"Come on Zoey, please," Hannah pleaded.
I opened my mouth to say no, but I was cut off by a familiar voice saying, "Hey."
Looking to my right, I saw Xavier standing there, looking as shy and adorable as usual. He was smiling and I couldn't help but smile as well. I hated myself for the worry I felt around him now that I knew he wanted to date me.
"Hey," I said.
"Did you hear about the dance?" he asked.
"Yup." I nodded.
He suddenly grew nervous. "Do you have a date?"
I didn't reply right away to those words, knowing where they were heading. And as usual, I felt uneasy. Just like around any other guy, I didn't like the idea of being with them in any way. I had no idea why and felt guilty, knowing a sweet guy like Xavier didn't deserve this.
Reluctantly, I said, "No."
"Oh." His eyes lit up and my heart dropped. "Would you like to go to the dance together? As friends?"
Looking down, I found myself feeling ashamed. Xavier didn't deserve this, but I had to be honest. I didn't want to go to the dance with him.
"Sorry," I said, staring at my desk. "But no."
"Oh." I could hear the disappointment in Xavier's voice. "That's okay. I hope you have fun."
I heard him leave and looked up, feeling guilty. Saying yes should've been easy. For a guy like Xavier, I should be thrilled. But, I wasn't and I didn't know why.
"Zoey," Hannah said, sighing. "Why did you reject him? He's sweet and shy and adorable. We could of both had dates."
"I don't know," I said honestly, shrugging. "Saying yes just didn't feel right."
"Then who would it feel right for?"
I didn't say anything because I had no answer to that. But my eyes, on their own, went to an empty desk in the classroom. They lingered there and I wondered why. Although for anyone I would feel uneasy, for that person I might've pushed that feeling away. Something was seriously wrong with me.
*****
"Zoey!" my mom called the second I entered the house. "I want to talk to you!"
Frowning, I made my way to the kitchen, wondering what she wanted. My mom who usually sounded excited for everything suddenly sounded anxious. That made me anxious and I thought of anything I could have done wrong. Nothing came to my mind, so I felt unprepared as I entered the kitchen.
My mom and dad were both in the kitchen and the both of them were sitting at the table. Both of them looked serious, but my dad at least smiled when we made eye contact. My mom just looked nervous and I wondered what was going on.
"Hey," I said, standing by the table.
"Sit down," my mom said, forcing a smile.
Seeing that I hesitated, my dad added, "You're not in trouble."
Exhaling, I went over to the table and sat across from them. Looking at the both of them, I clasped my hands together beneath the table, hoping to comfort myself. I had never seen my parents like this.
"Zoey, are you and that boy, Axel, close?" my mom suddenly asked.
I was caught off guard by the question. Blinking, I realized this was about Axel. What about Axel, I had no idea.
"Not necessarily," I answered truthfully.
My dad nodded, looking down at his cup of tea. My mom's eyebrows furrowed.
"You guys aren't close?" my mom asked, looking confused. "It seemed like you were from the last time he came over."
"He's just an open person." I shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "A lot of people are friendly with him."
Suddenly, my mom blurted out, "I don't trust him."
I tried to hide my surprise at my mom's outburst. She was a friendly woman and caring, so these words were a surprise to me. I couldn't help but frown at them however, suddenly feeling defensive. Axel was a lot of things and I might've not been his biggest fan once, but my mom barely knew him. He had done nothing wrong when they met, so I didn't know where her words came from.
"Why... Why don't you?" I asked, curious.
"Because you can't trust boys," my mom said, growing serious. "Especially handsome boys like Axel. They're up to no good."
I frowned. "Mom, you don't even know him."
"Do you?" Her eyebrows rose. "Do you know that he'll never hurt you?"
I didn't say anything to that, even though I wanted to disagree. For some reason I wanted to prove Axel was a good guy to my parents, but I couldn't. Not when my mom looked so serious.
"Axel isn't a bad guy," I said quietly, not knowing what else to say.
"Why are you standing up for him?" my mom asked. "Please don't tell me you like him."
My cheeks turned red. "I don't!"
"Good." my mom's eyes hardened. "You don't have time for boys. Focus on your studies for now and forget about boys. They only want you for their needs and only in the future when they're mature should you date."
Anger flooded into me and I wanted to shout. I wanted to tell my mom that this was my life and I would never let a guy ruin my studies. I wanted to tell my mom that Axel wasn't like that, but I just stood up. Whirling around, I stormed off without another word.
Even though I was known to be a loud, strongly opinionated person, I could never talk back to my parents. I loved them too much and after all they did for me, I just agreed to anything they said. But right then, I wished I had disagreed. With words tumbling around my mind, I wished I proved my mom wrong.