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Silently Falling: Chapter Five
The next couple of days things go as usual, and Friday morning rolls around. I wake up, use my air horn for Toby and the girl in his bed, she leaves with a few insults directed at him, and we head to school when Alyse arrives. I avoid telling her that Toby had a girl over last night, and she doesn't ask. It's better to start her day off on a good note instead of breaking her heart again.
Now Alyse and I are back in Music class with a sub, so the entire class is just doing whatever they want. Mr. C didn't leave much of a lesson plan for the substitute, and even if he had I doubt this sub would have had much authority over us. Chorus kids can get rather...rambunctious. Alyse and I are lounging on the carpeted floor, my songbook sitting in my lap.
My mother was big into music. Even though I was so young when she passed away, I can remember sitting next to her on the piano bench in the living room as she played, my feet swaying with the melody and hands gripping the edge of the tattered bench. As I grew up, I came to realize that aside from the standard children songs she would play to amuse me, she also played melodies I could never find elsewhere. That's when my dad showed me my mother's songbook. She wrote her own music.
My dad gave me my mother's songbook when I was in middle school and I tried to write some stuff to be more like her, but with little to no music lessons under my belt...what I wrote was really just random notes on a page with a cringe-fest of "lyrics" to tag along. It took until high school and Mr. C for me to start learning how to play the piano and how to write my own music. I started to write songs on random sheets of paper, not wanting to use the last of the empty pages in my moms book. But when my dad found out, when he had come home for a few weeks from work, he instantly went to the store and bought me my very own songbook. Writing music makes me feel closer to my mother, an even deeper feeling than having her necklace on every day.
"What type of song are you working on now?" Alyse asks, leaning over to read what I've written down.
"A ballad. Unconventional, though."
She cocks her head, "I missed the last part..."
I sigh, silently falling a little. Sign language is great, but I forget at times that Alyse isn't an expert or anything. There are times I go too fast and she can't read my hands. I know it's not her fault, but it sometimes gets a little stressful. The only one who seems to able to keep up with me at all times is Toby.
I slowly spell out the word 'unconventional' for her, and I watch as she slowly sounds it out while comprehending the letters.
"U N...okay that's a C. Unconv...and E and an N, okay followed by a T... Oh! Unconventional, got it. Unconventional ballad, it sounds interesting."
"I hope, I've only just started it."
"May I?"
I pass over my book to her for her to examine it, and I watch as the gears turn in her head as she reads and plays it through in her head. Then, her pale green eyes light up with her smile.
"Raine...I can already tell this is going to be phenomenal. I wish you would, like, perform it or something."
I raise a brow, "That would be a problem considering my lack of a voice."
"I meant you do the instrumental portion and then you get someone else to actually sing it."
She knows why I like having songs all to myself. The songs I make and play for our chorus students become the school's songs; they're no longer my own. Besides I don't even make them for myself, I make them strictly for the school. I like knowing that the songs I make and play on my own account will always belong to me. If they belong to me, somehow I believe they belong to my mom as well. When I finish a song, I don't know...I feel like it's like a prayer to her. Something between the two of us.
But... it would be nice to have someone able to sing them. I have Alyse, but as much as she likes my songs, she pushes performing them for others too much. I don't write music to be published or get put in the spotlight. I do it to feel close to my mother.
Once Music ends, I head to AP US History and greet the boys. Class goes down without much interesting happen, aside from Toby filling Gray and Tyler in on his 'night of fun' which I tune out of. While they discuss details I most definitely do not want to hear, my mind trails around until it ends up on West.
He has sparked quite the uproar at school. Every day I hear whispers about him circulating throughout the halls. I want to say that his presence hasn't gotten to me, and that to me he's just another newcomer, but I can't lie to myself. West is potentially one of the most interesting people we've had at this school, and that was true before I met him. But now that I've talked to him, he's even more prominent in my thoughts than I'd like to admit.
"Raine, you coming? The bell just rang, it's time for lunch."
I lightly shake my head and blink a few times, blushing as I realize I was staring blankly at the table while deep in thought. Focusing on Toby's slightly worried face, I quickly smile at him and nod.
"Sorry, I zoned out."
Tyler reaches his hand out to me with a smile, gently pulling me up and handing me my backpack. We all walk down the hall and to lunch, greeting Alyse at her locker on the way. The line for food goes quick and soon we are all sitting down at our table. Within seconds, Tyler's eyes are stuck to my food with a longing desire; my fries in particular.
"Tyler, are you falling in love with my fries?"
He reads my hands, for a moment or two eyes widening until I finish signing the whole sentence. He laughs, reaching his hand out to steal one but I'm quick to slap it away with a silent guffaw.
"Come on Raine, just one fry?" He begs, giving me his best puppy dog eyes.
I send him an incredulous look. He keeps up his facade for a few more seconds before dropping his expression into a scowl. I smile and begin to eat my food; all it takes is a look.
"Fine. But you aren't getting my extra cookie then." He mumbles, biting his sandwich.
I stop mid bite and look over at him, signing with one hand. "Extra cookie?"
"Momma Myers packed an extra."
Freaking yes.
Mrs. Myers is the absolute best.
I glance back at my fries and bite my lip in contemplation. Then I finally nod and offer him some. He grins and takes a few, shoveling them into his mouth as he searches his lunchbox for my cookie.
I wait patiently, and when he looks over at me sheepishly I narrow my eyes. He swallows the fries that were in his mouth and smiles guiltily.
"I guess it fell out?"
My eyes widen and I smack him on the shoulder. "You tricked me!"
"No! No I didn't. I thought I had a cookie in there, but.... well you know math is my worst subject!"
"What does math have to do with this?!"
"Because I couldn't count how many I actually had?" He offers shyly. "It's true, I'm nearly failing calculus."
"And chemistry, and English, and history, and Spanish, and-" Gray begins, but Tyler sends him a look and he pauses. "Well, you get my point."
I stifle a laugh and look back at Tyler which turns my amusement back to anger.
"You're buying me more fries." I state, giving him a hard glare and a decisive point to further my statement.
"Yes ma'am," he says in defeat.
I lift my head in victory, only to have that deflate when I glance down at my remaining food. Chicken nuggets and only half a basket of fries and pout. The portions are already pretty small, missing half of my fries will make me go hungry in an hour.
"So, who pissed in your cereal this morning?" West asks as he takes his seat across from Tyler.
His question is addressed to me, and I can practically feel the anger radiating off of Toby as he glares at West. He's still not comfortable with him, and I doubt he will be any time soon. If ever.
I gesture to Tyler to answer West's rhetorical question.
"He stole her fries." Alyse clarifies.
I hear West 'tsk' at Tyler, shaking his head at him. "Don't you know better than to steal from a mute?"
I recoil from the bluntness of his statement and try to figure out if he actually just said that. When I notice Toby's knuckles turn white from their grip on the table, I realize West did in fact just say that.
He looks over at me and smirks. "Good thing I know how to do it a little more discreetly." He says, lifting a fry to his lips.
Confused, I watch West for a few seconds more and then glance down at my tray only to see the last of my fries gone. With my jaw agape, I watch as West takes a cocky bite from my final fry.
"I can see why you would be angry with people stealing those." He comments, darting his tongue out to lick his lips. "They're pretty damn good."
I force myself to look away from his lips that he knowingly drew my attention to, meeting his playful eyes with frustration in my own.
"You just...stole her fries." Alyse deadpans on her own accord.
"You know, you're lucky you don't understand sign language," Gray says casually.
West glances at him and furrows his brow. "Why-"
I don't necessarily cut him off since my hands don't make any noise, but before he finishes his statement I start signing as aggressively as possible.
"You insolent little jerk! Those were my fries! Not yours, and I was so looking forward to eating them too! I swear to the God above, you little fuc-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm hot, I'm infuriating, I get you hot and bothered. I don't need sign language to know that one," West says, cutting me off.
My jaw drops further.
"Cat got your tongue, Sunshine?" He asks, chewing his food with the most insufferable expression I've ever seen.
The rest of the table is equally as silent as me, unsure how to respond and clearly wary of how I may react. No one has challenged me like this. The boys get under my skin sometimes, but they've never deliberately tried to make me snap.
I narrow my eyes at West. My body is tense as I contemplate how to handle this. If I sign anything he won't understand it and writing stuff on my whiteboard right now would just take away from the moment.
So, I give him the one universal finger gesture for a big fat "f*** you."
West glances at my hand and his cocky expression fades to a smile as he chuckles, placing his hands up in surrender.
"Now there's a sign I know," he says. "And in your case I think it means more than just 'f you.' I assume there's a whole slew of curse words you want to get across?"
Giving a fake smile, I nod at him.
He chuckles again and begins to stand up. "How about I just go buy you more fries?"
I watch him warily, wondering if this is just another set-up for one of his cocky remarks. When his expression doesn't waver from friendly, I decide to go with it. I nod, signaling it's a deal, and he's on his way back the lunch line.
"I've got to admit, I like him," Gray says.
We all look at him incredulously.
"Oh come on guys, you have to admit that was amusing. Raine, I love you and I'm sorry about your fries, but even you can see the humor in that."
The others start agreeing, serious expressions fading to laughter.
"Raine, your face when you realized your fries were gone was kind of priceless," Alyse admits.
Tyler laughs with her, "I really thought you were about to lunge across the table and attack him."
"That would have been a sight to see," Toby says, cracking his own smile. "I know I enjoyed the obscene finger gesture."
I pout at all of them, crossing my arms like a child.
"Aw, don't be like that," Tyler says, hugging me to his side. "He was just trying to get a rise out of you."
"Exactly."
But, even though I'm acting this way, my annoyance is slowly fading away and amusement is taking its place. They're right.
"So Toby, you up for the party tonight?" Gray asks, changing the course of the conversation.
"Sure, why not. Who's hosting?"
"Some dude from Rockville High. The one who tried hitting on Alyse a few weeks ago at that pool party."
I sense the way my brother stiffens, jealous eyes jumping to Alyse.
Seriously, am I the only one who sees the obvious signs? He loves her. I swear.
"He would have had her too," Gray continues, unaware of my brother's shift in mood, "If we hadn't stepped in, I think they may have swapped spit right there in the middle of the pool."
Alyse rolls her eyes, "As if. First of all he was completely wasted and kept calling me Audrey. I actually believe he thought I was Audrey Hepburn."
"Audrey Hepburn is dead..."
She looks over at me. "Exactly."
"Are you insinuating this guy is into necrophilia?" Tyler asks, scrunching up his face.
"I'm insinuating he was extremely drunk and has an unhealthy obsession with someone who has been dead for years."
"Your imagination really does fascinate me," Toby chimes in.
She blushes slightly, glancing down at the table to try and avoid him noticing.
Come on Alyse, be that sarcastic girl I know who doesn't show the way my idiot older brother effects her.
"I think that's the best compliment I've ever received from you." She says sarcastically, trying to hide an amused grin, in turn earning a snort from him.
I'll talk about this moment at their wedding.
Toby then glances down at me, "So, you okay if I go to this party?"
I nod at him, "Go! Have fun with the necrophiliac."
"Or, you know, we could not talk about that."
Suddenly, fries are dropped in front of me from the Heavens above.
"There you go, Sunshine. A brand new batch of fries just for you."
Ah, so not from the Heavens, but from the exact opposite.
West sits back down at his seat, sending me a smile. He waves his white napkin as a little flag of surrender.
"Forgive me for stealing the fries?"
I carefully take a fry from the basket, giving it a taste test before agreeing to a truce with the criminal sitting across from me.
He wasn't kidding. This really is a brand new batch, it must have just come out of the fryer from the satisfying crunch. So I nod at West, chowing down on the remainder of the fries.
"West, you down for a party?" Tyler asks.
"Where?"
"Kid in Rockville High, he throws a lot of parties."
West furrows his brow, "I overheard some girls talking about that earlier, actually. They said something about him calling each of them Audrey Hepburn at the last party... this guy a freak?"
"He's a potential necrophiliac," Alyse answers.
West glances over at her, his face lit up in all types of confusion.
"And...you guys still want to go to his party?"
"It could be kinky." Tyler shrugs.
We all snap our eyes to him and stare at him weirdly.
"Tyler..." Alyse begins carefully.
"We were joking about that part..." I end.
His face loses color for a split second before he nods. "Yeah, I know! I was joking too!" He defends rather quickly, avoiding our eyes.
West finally shrugs. "Well, sounds interesting enough. Count me in."
"I'll stay at home with Raine. I'd rather not have Justin flirt with me again." Alyse comments, and I smile gratefully at her.
"Perfect, now I don't have to worry about Raine burning the house down." Toby says, and I slap his shoulder.
"One time! One time I left the oven on! You, on the other hand, have burned just about every meal you've attempted to make." I challenge.
"Just eat your food."
I feel eyes on me and lift my gaze to see West studying me. He doesn't look away when my eyes meet his, instead his gaze gets deeper.
I know his question before he even asks it.
"Not a partier, Sunshine?" He asks, his stare not letting me look away.
"Not much for the whole drunken idiots scene, no not really." I sign, thanking god Alyse translated for me since I forgot yet again that he can't understand me.
He nods in thought. And when he finally looks away from me, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
OoO
"Hell yes! Girls night in!" Alyse yells chucking her overnight bag at me.
I catch it and stumble back a bit, finding my footing with a little help from the wall.
"Alright, I've got the movies. You got the drinks and junk food?" She asks, waltzing her way into the living room.
I throw her bag on the floor and nod. "When do I not?"
"Lets get this party started, then!"
I chuckle and walk towards the kitchen. Alyse follows me and starts taking the drinks from the fridge. We may be losers for staying in on a Friday night when over half of our school is out at a party, but that doesn't mean we don't know how to have fun.
"You have Sunny D, thank God!"
"Or-" I reach far back into the fridge and snatch a couple of alcoholic seltzers that are left over from the last party Toby went to. I wave them in front of Alyse with a grin, and she practically throws the Sunny D to the side.
Just because we don't go to parties doesn't mean we aren't stereotypical teenagers who will sneak in a drink or two. We know how to have fun, just in our own way.
"Now we're talking."
I laugh and toss her a can, grabbing the two chip bowls before heading back towards the living room. She grabs the other two bowls filled with other mindless junk food and we set them on the table.
"I'll go get the blankets."
"I'll put in the first movie."
As the movies play, Alyse and I talk through most of them. We watch some TikTok's, even make one for the whole 15 followers we have, and eventually we drift off during the second movie.
Some time later, Alyse and I wake up to the slamming of the front door. We both jump up from surprise, our heads ramming into one another causing us each to wince and rub our heads. She blinks a few times to rid the sleep from her eyes as we both sit up. The TV is replaying the movie we fell asleep to and is the only light source in the room.
"What was that?" Alyse asks groggily, referring to the loud noise that woke us up.
Drunken giggling answers her, and a sloshed shush follows it.
I instantly grimace when I realize what's going on. Toby has brought someone over, a random girl that he's going to sleep with tonight while the girl who is hopelessly devoted to him stays the night in another room.
"Oh," Alyse says quietly when she too realizes. Her entire demeanor changes, a despondency taking her over.
"Shh, you're gonna wake-erp my si-sister." Toby laughs as they stumble up the stairs together.
"Who do you think it is?" Alyse questions softly, and the pain in her voice makes my heart break.
I know it's hard for Alyse to hear him come home with another girl. It's one thing just to know about it, but to experience it is even worse. She loves him, and he's hurting her without even knowing.
"Probably some girl that means nothing to him other than a night of fun."
As bad as that makes my brother look, I know it's probably true. I don't know if hearing that makes Alyse feel any better.
She drops her eyes from my hands once I finish signing and she nods. "Yeah, probably." She whispers.
I sadly wave over to her, trying to get her attention. Her eyes catch the movement of my hands and they look up at me. My heart breaks when I see the tears glimmering in them. I gesture for her to come closer and wrap my arms around her as she rants.
"I'm stupid. I'm stupid for being the stereotypical girl and crushing on my best friends brother. I don't want to be like the other girls, I don't want to want him like I do. I don't want to be naive and think that maybe, just maybe, I could be the one to change his ways. Because I know it won't happen. Our lives aren't fairy tales."
I don't know what I could say to make her feel any better. Sometimes you just have to let it all out and have someone there to listen.
"I don't want to cry over him." She whispers shakily.
I nod, a silent understanding. I continue to rub her back comfortingly, and when the sounds from upstairs start, I turn up the TV to drown it out.
When I feel my shirt go damp, I know she heard what's going on up there before I raised the volume.
OoO
This morning Alyse left before Toby woke up. I know she didn't get much sleep, so I didn't argue when she quickly rushed out. Toby woke up an hour or two later, and the girl in his bed left without saying much. I guess she knew what the deal was before she came over.
"Hey sis, Tyler and Gray are coming over in a few," Toby says as he comes downstairs after his shower.
He has the towel draped around his neck as he tugs his shirt on, and I roll my eyes. He is so obsessed with his body I can't stand it. The shower turned off nearly a half hour ago, which means he was most likely admiring himself in the mirror for the past thirty minutes.
I nod to him but don't offer to sign anything in return. I'm still mad at him for having a girl over when it was obvious Alyse and I were having a girls night. It's like an unwritten rule to keep random girls away during Alyse and I's time.
"You still mad at me?"
I don't respond.
"Come on, sis. I said I was sorry, like, ten times this morning."
I turn up the volume on the TV.
"We tried to be quiet."
At that comment, I finally turn to him with fire in my eyes.
"You shouldn't have had anyone over in the first place. And you weren't quiet. At all."
He sighs deeply and shakes his hair with his towel, "I'm sorry, Raine. I don't know what else to say."
I drop it. Arguing isn't going to get me anywhere. Besides, the front door opens moments later which would have interrupted anything I could have signed back.
"Hello- oh. You two both seem pretty pissed," Tyler says as he walks into the living room. "What happened?"
Toby rolls his eyes, "Nothing, let's just go upstairs."
Gray takes the hint not to ask anymore and follows after Toby, but Tyler pouts at me.
"Are you okay?" He signs.
I shrug at him, not wanting to lie.
He frowns deeply, glancing up the steps to where they went as he debates what to do.
"Tyler! Come on, dude!" Toby yells from his room.
"Come upstairs with me?" Tyler asks me, giving slight puppy dog eyes.
His question puts a small smile on my face and I stand from my spot, following him up the steps and into Toby's room. His room is significantly larger than mine. He has his bed, and across is a huge 50" flat screen TV on top of an entertainment system that houses his PS4 and all of his games. He also has a dresser and desk, but there's even room for a small couch in front of his bed to make gaming easier.
"Where's Alyse?" Gray asks as Tyler and I step inside. "Didn't she stay over here last night?"
Toby drops his eyes to the floor upon the mention of her.
"She left this morning. She didn't get much sleep last night."
Gray nods as he reads my hands, letting out a small hum of interest before focusing his attention back on the TV.
To my surprise, Toby speaks up. "That's most likely my fault. Can you tell her I'm sorry?" He asks, and when I catch his gaze I see how genuine he is, and my anger slowly subsides.
"I'll let her know."
He offers me a small smile and I return it with one of my own, and I sense the relief he feels knowing he's somewhat in the clear. Then he turns back to the TV and switches on some game.
"Alright assholes, who's going against me first?" Toby asks, holding up his extra controller for Tyler or Gray to snag.
I narrow my eyes and point at him. "Language."
"Yeah Toby, watch what you fucking say." Gray scolds, laughing as I scowl at him.
I sit on my brothers bed, complete with a dark blue and gray comforter, and Tyler sits next to me since Gray and my brother both occupy the futon.
"I'll go first," Gray decides, grabbing the controller from my brother.
"Prepare to get your ass beat, Grayson." Toby smirks, starting up the game.
"It's Gray," he corrects, throwing a pillow that laid on the floor at my brother.
It hits me instead and I let out a small squeak of surprise.
"Oops, sorry Raine." He laughs, looking at me from over the bed.
"Good aim," Toby jokes and I scowl at him.
"So, how was West at the party?" I ask Tyler as Gray and Toby start their game.
"What do you mean?"
Toby and Gray don't listen to our conversation since they're both engrossed in their game.
"Was he the drinker everyone says he is?"
Tyler chuckles, "No, actually. I wasn't around him much, but I don't remember ever seeing him with anything in his hand."
West Love isn't the drinker he's been made out to be? That is shocking.
"He even drove Gray and I home, and your brother over here with that girl," Tyler adds.
I scrunch up my face, realizing I'm sitting on the sheets Toby and blonde bimbo were getting it on in...
"I'm really hoping he washed these sheets..." I sign, looking around me in distaste.
Tyler also glances down and shifts uncomfortably, "You and me both."
"So, West didn't take a girl home with him?"
He glances at me with a hint of confusion, "Why?"
I shrug, "He just seemed like the type to me."
"Well, he talked to a few, but left with no one but us."
I furrow my brow. I really thought that maybe a party would be the place for West to finally let the inevitable player in him come out. But now I'm really starting to think that I've got him wrong. The problem is, I don't know how to get it right. He is way too hard to get a read on.
"Why the hell would you choose the girl avatar?" Toby asks incredulously, snapping me from my ridiculous thoughts.
I lift my eyes to the screen and see Gray's avatar as a busty girl with short black hair. She's wearing limited clothing, nothing but a crop top and a short skirt.
"She's hot!" Gray defends.
"Hey, she looks like the girl you were talking to last night, Gray." Tyler laughs.
"You banged a girl with a pixie cut?" Toby asks, raising a brow at him.
"I didn't bang her, I just made out with her. And what's so wrong with pixie cuts? She was cute. But, back to the game so I can kick your a-"
I throw a pillow at his head.
"Butt."
---
8/30/2020 - No major plot changes. Tyler's last name changed to Myers and I took out one pointless scene of Alyse and Raine cooking breakfast the morning after the sleepover. Other than that, it's mostly the same!