"Jules?" My friend's voice came from the other side of the door making me jump slightly while buttoning up my shirt. "Hey, you're in there?" Running a trembling hand through my blond waves, I quickly spun around, opening the bathroom door and found myself facing both Lila and her son. My eyes teared up at the sight of little Joshy smiling around his pacifier while his little hands fumbled with his mother's golden necklace, the unwelcome thought of my incapacity to have any children of my own coming to mind once more. "Are you ok?" My friend suddenly asked, making me look away from her. I was not ok.
"Fine. Did you bring it?" Lila smiled while extending her hand to me, the keys of my Mazda resting in the center of her palm.
"I still don't think it's a good idea for all it matters. He's gonna go ballistic, Jules. You know that." Yes, I knew that indeed, but to be honest, I didn't really care about it. I was way past reasoning with Gabriel Shaffer.
"I'm not going home with him, Lila. I can't go back there." She gave me a sad smile while trying to untangle her son's hands from her necklace.
"And I'm not saying you should. I just... I think you should talk to him." Giving a little shake of my head, I turned on my heels and reached for my bag. I had already tried to talk to him. I'd tried that for a whole fucking week.
"Each time I brought it up, he just scowled at me, saying it's not up for discussion." A small, incredulous laugh went past Lila's lips, making me squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. "Look! He wants to take me back to the mansion and he just doesn't take no for an answer. For fuck's sake, he even talked dad into turning against me so don't tell me I should talk to him." Her lips formed an incredulous grimace, my friend barely containing herself.
"What did he tell him?" I frowned, my eyes frantically scanning the room for my shoes.
"I wouldn't know. I wasn't there. The bastard made sure to get dad alone first and then did the talking." I watched as her eyes went wide with shock, mine then scanning the room for my shoes again and finding them next to the door. "Where is he, Lila?" I asked as my hands made quick work of the laces of my black Converse. Immediately going back into business mode, she gave me a sharp nod of her head before speaking again.
"He went home to take a shower and get everything ready for your arrival. I would hurry if I were you though. He'll most likely be back soon." Briefly nodding my head at her, I gave my friend a small smile before heading for the door.
"Once he's back, make sure you keep him here at least until I get to my car." I said while looking back over my shoulder and catching a glimpse of a very confused Lila. If I wasn't in such a hurry I would've probably stopped and took a picture of her, but not now. At the moment I needed to hurry and get the hell out of the damned hospital I'd spent way too much time in already.
"Jules, wait! How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Jules!" Little Joshy's shrill whine was the last thing I'd heard as my feet took me away from my friend and towards the exit.
$$$
The hallway was full of people bustling around and I found myself stopping to asses my surroundings for a moment. A hand gently touched my arm the moment somebody softly pushed me out of the way, the motion sending the sports bag that currently held all my belongings bumping against my side, pain errupting from the now closed wound that used to be a bullet hole. My body doubled over, my hand going to my stomach in an attempt to stop the nausea that was about to take over me and I thanked God the moment I realised it worked. The pain slowly faded away, my back straightening again as my feet started to move. And then I saw him.
Freshly shaven and wearing what seemed to be a very expensive designer suit, Gabriel made his way through the crowd with no effort whatsoever. It was simply as if he owned the motherfucking place. As if people were just stepping out of his way, granting him easy access to my room. My throat closed in on me, my body liquefying as his leather shoes screached on the floor. He was coming exactly my way and unless I thought of something fast, he was also going to see me, making it impossible for me to make my escape. I was so fucked.
A group of what seemed to be a dozen or so interns made to pass by me and then I knew that my prayers had been answered. Knowing it was my final and only chance to make it outside without my murderer seeing me, I made my way to the middle of the group and tried to blend in, walking in time with the men and women all wearing blue scrubs. The interns moved past him and then headed left towards the ER taking me with them while I glanced back making sure Gabriel hadn't seen me.
The moment the door of my former hospital room opened and the murderer I knew Gabriel Shaffer to be stepped inside, I finally gathered the guts to step away from the group and head towards the exit.
The massive doors that I was faced with next instigated a heavy, tired sigh from me, even the prospect of having to open them horrifying me. They must have weighed a fucking ton. Taking a deep breath and pushing my side into the damned thing, I hissed the moment a fresh wave of pain took over my lower back, my mind already chastising me for not swallowing up some morphine before I decided to leave the hospital. Allowing a relieved sigh to escape me once the door opened without further resistance, I stepped into yet another very busy hallway, my eyes staying fixed to the set of metallic doors ahead of me.
Pushing my way through the crowd, I did my best to protect my wounded back while practically runing to the elevator. I knew that Lila was not going to be able to keep him there for long once he realised I was gone, so I needed to hurry up.
Pushing the call button I waited for the doors to slide open and stepped inside, my eyes frantically searching the crowd for any sign of an angry Gabriel coming towards me. I have to admit I was shocked to find nothing, my brain going into overdrive. He was supposed to have discovered I was no longer there by now and come to find me. What was he up to? Things couldn't have just been that easy for me, could they?
The sound announcing my arrival to the ground floor made me spin around, my feet going before program and taking off towards the exit while my mind tried to catch up with them. I was just slightly aware of the three nurses behind their station standing up and calling after me as I pushed the door open and stepped out onto the concrete, the sun hurting my sensitive eyes. Taking a much needed breath of air, I started to slowly move towards the spot where my Mazda was supposed to be parked according to Lila's indications.
Just as I'd hoped, my red monster of a car came into view a moment later, my feet taking off into a run once more, my hands already fumbling with the keys. And then the door on the driver's side of the car opened, a pair of Italian leather shoes hitting the ground, long legs supporting the huge frame of a man I knew. My body froze to the spot for a moment, allowing Mathew the time to come after me, but he didn't. Instead of that, he just stood his ground, his eyes covered by a pair of sunglasses, his face expressionles.
Finally realising my stupidity, I forced my limbs into action, my feet starting to take me backwards until my back bumped into a solid chest. Fucking hell! I didn't even have to turn around to know who that chest belonged to -my body had already told me that much, sparks igniting deep in my belly.
"Get in the car, Julia!" His low, threatening voice gave me the chills, anger lacing his words. "You'd better do as I say, dea. I'm trying to hold it together here." My back arched slightly the moment his hand reached the small of my back giving me a gentle push forward. "Go ahead. We'll take your car since we're already here." Swallowing hard, I tried to convince myself not to fight him in spite of the fact that every single instict I had was telling me to run as far as possible -or at least try to.
"Lila..." Was the only thing I could say, my voice nothing but a breathy whisper.
"Ms Mathews was smart enough as to make the wise choice in what concerns you."My feet stilled completely, my eyes closing in frustration. Lila had told him where to find me. Was there really nobody I could have trusted anymore? Large hands grabbed my shoulders swiftly turning me around, Gabriel's hazels now boring into my blues. "Now, judge, I only hope you're smart enough as to make your own wise choices. Get in the fucking car!" Refusing to maintain our eye contact anymore, I simply turned on my heels allowing him to guide me to my Mazda while Mathew opened the rear door for us, giving me a small, approving nod of his head the moment I climbed inside the car.
Dropping my sports bag onto the seat next to me in an attempt to keep the distance between me and my murderer, I was surprised to see him climb into the front passenger seat, Mathew also claiming the driver's seat and starting the engine. Knowing it was useless to ask where we were headed, I allowed my head to fall back against my seat, my eyes closing in exhaustion this time.
"It was stupid of you to try and take off like that given your current condition." A heavy sigh went past my lips as his words sank in. Of course it had been stupid of me. We both knew that much.
"Well, thank God you were always one step ahead. You obviously knew that I would try to make my escape from here since you had your wingman wait for me at the car." I didn't need to see him to know that he was probably smirking that damn superior smirk of his.
"I just learned not to underestimate you, Julia. Thank God for that!" His dead serious tone took me aback for a moment, no trace of a smile in his voice. Then his hand reached for the music player, his long fingers fumbling with the volumes for a minute before I finally registered Laurel's voice playing in the background. My eyes closed, the lyrics sinking into my brain and making me realise the exact effect Gabriel had on me. He was the fire breather in the song and I had no idea how the fuck I was going to survive inside his heart.
$$$
"I asked Maria to get one of my guest rooms ready for you." Gabriel said while slamming the car door shut, his eyes scanning my hair for a moment before finding my face. Reaching out for me, his hand found the small of my back, getting glued to it, his gentle push then guiding me towards the front door of his mansion. My sports bag was now in his possesion and so were my phone and the keys to my Mazda. If I didn't know any better, I would've said he was trying to keep me hostage. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Of course he was trying to do just that. He'd done it before.
"Thank you!" I mumbled, stopping next to the huge double doors of the building and stepped aside a little so that he could get them open. Reaching forward and turning the knob, he then motioned for me to step inside, my arm gently brushing against his muscular chest in the proccess of doing so, the brief contact of our bodies sending electrical waves down my spine.
My eyes instantly went to his face, noticing he was watching me too, lust clouding his hazels and turning them into deep pools of hot chocolate.
"I don't wanna sleep in one of your guest rooms." I mumbled while swallowing hard, already knowing which way this discussion was headed.
"Then you'll sleep with me. That's even better." My eyes closed for a second, my mind not missing the double meaning in his words. In fact, my body was more than willing to give in to the temptation, the rational part of me nowhere in sight. "You may be in denial, Julia, but you can't deny this." My body inched closer to his, my heart hammering against my ribcage. Oh, I had no intention to deny it. "You can't deny the sparks."
"You're finally home." A woman's voice called from inside the house, her frame hidden somewhere behind Gabriel's body. "I've been waiting for you. We need to talk." Her voice was becoming louder as she was getting closer to us, the spell between me and Gabriel now broken. Moving away from him, I could see his features hardening, tension pouring from every fiber of his perfect body.
"Not now, Mei." Only then did I realise who the voice belonged to. And then the Chinese bitch forced her way past my murderer, her eyes narrowing on me, her lips forming a disgusted grimace.
"You brought her here again?" Frowning at her obvious state of shock, I searched Gabriel's eyes, nothing else giving away his thoughts. What was so wrong about me being there except for the fact that I didn't actually want to be there? "Gabriel, she's the reason why Ginger almost got killed, for fuck's sake. You can't just bring her here and put all of us at risk like this. Not again." Trying to swallow the lump in my throat I was surprised to discover that, for the first time in my life, I actually agreed with Mei. Judging by the look on Gabriel's face though, he didn't seem to share our oppinion. In fact, he looked as if he was about to hit something.
"Leave!" There was a serious amount of threat to his voice that made me cringe. The damn woman should've already been on her way, if she knew what was best for her. But no. Mei just stood still, her eyes never leaving Gabriel's. "For fuck's sake, Mei, I said leave. Don't make me force you to." Her jaw dropped, the look on her face one of pure horror.
"You wouldn't..." Oh, I had no doubt he would have.
"Try me." I prayed for Mei not to take him up on that and actually try him and thank God, for the hundreth time that day my prayers had been answered. The woman gave me a spiteful look and then moved past her boss -or whatever Gabriel was to her- and down the stairs, towards the front yard.
The front door of the mansion got slammed shut and my murderer rested his back against the cold wood, his eyes closing briefly before opening again and taking me in, a peaceful look replacing his scowl.
"Take me home. Please?" Slowly shaking his head, he smiled a sad, apprehensive smile as if having actually expected me to ask that of him.
"You are home, Julia." Pushing himself away from the wall, Gabriel finally dropped my sports bag onto the floor, heading straight for the bar in the far corner of his living room and pouring himself a glass of what I guessed to be scotch. "The penthouse. Second door on the right after you pass the gym." He said after downing his drink and I couldn't help but give him a questioning look. "Your room." He explained while pouring himself another glass of that copper coloured liquid. "You'll find everything you need there-clothes, beauty products, shoes. Also, Maria will be bringing us dinner in one hour tops. Try to be ready until then. I'll meet you in the kitchen." Knowing that telling him I wasn't hungry would've probably only pissed him off further, I decided to simply nod my head and then turned to leave. "Julia?" Looking over my shoulder, my eyes took in his troubled expression, my brow furrowing slightly. "I'm so sorry." Giving him what I knew to be a small, unconvincing smile, I continued my way to my assigned bedroom.
$$$
Finally getting the long bath I'd been craving for ever since waking up into the hospital and giving up the comfy shirt and jeans for an even comfier Burberry military dress, I gave my temporary bedroom a once over. The spacious, ivory coloured room was peaceful and quiet, the upholstered king sized bed reining in the middle of it making me want to crawl under the covers and hide from the world, but of course that wasn't possible. I knew that even if I wanted to, Gabriel wouldn't have let me.
As if on cue, my bedroom's door slightly opened, my murderer's head poking inside, the smile on his face apologetic. We both knew my wounds needed more time to heal and we also knew that that time I had to spend alone -his smile was proof enough that he knew that just as well as I did- but I was certainly not under the wrong impression that Gabriel would actually grant me the time and space I needed. Pushing the door that led into the wardrobe shut, I did my best to return his smile before making my way to him. I knew what he was here for. Dinner time.
"Do you like it?" He asked the moment I tried to pass by him, then briefly nodded his head towards something behind me. Looking back over my shoulder in the indicated direction, I imediatelly realised what he was talking about. The sun was now setting, its gorgeous red light turning Gabriel's beautiful backyard into a sight to behold, the window wall leading onto the balcony allowing us to see the transition.
"It's beautiful..." I whispered, my dried throat stopping me from saying anything else.
"Come on. We're being awaited." My brow furrowed, my eyes carefully scanning his face for a minute. We were being awaited? By who? Giving me a small smile and a nod of his head, his hand found its way to the small of my back, turning me around and pushing me towards where I knew his kitchen to be.
Familiar voices made their way to my ears before even rounding the corner and I found myself increasing my pace until finally facing my friends and family. My mouth dropped open as my eyes found dad and Miranda smiling brightly at Mathew and his fiance. Then my ears registered a child's soft whiper, my head turning towards the source of the noise and finding both my friend and her son, Lila smiling up at me from her chair. I was left dumbstruck.
"Oh, dear girl!" A contented smile pulled at my lips as Maria's hands wrapped around my shoulders, the woman simply enveloping me in her embrace. Not having it in me to tell her that she was practically crushing me, I tried to take a deep breath while accepting the old Italian lady's affection. "Oh, poor girl. Come on, you need to eat. You're fading away." Letting her push me onto an empty chair, I sweetly smiled, being perfectly aware of all the worried looks I was receiving. "Here. I made you pastas." Placing a plate of carbonaras in front of me, Maria then stepped aside, allowing Gabriel to also take his seat next to me.
My hand was quickly captured and gently squeezed, his eyes trying and failing to catch mine as my stomach turned at the thought of actually having to eat the food I'd been served. Then my father suddenly cleared his throat making us all look up at him while I used my free hand to push the dish to the middle of the table.
"I would like to thank you, Mr Shaffer, for bringing me back my daughter." Raising his glass, Lewis Groves did something I'd never seen him do before. My father bowed his head to my murderer.
Mirroring his action, everybody around the table raised their glasses to Gabriel, yet his eyes never left my face. And even though I could feel his passionate hazels burning scorching holes through my skin, I found myself incapable of returning his gaze.
"Welcome back, judge." Mathew mumbled, drawing my attention to him and Angie, the two of them smiling brightly in my direction and that was it. Something about those smiles of theirs made me snap.
Abruptly standing up, I succeded to free myself from Gabriel's grasp, my chair falling to the ground, seven pairs of shocked eyes watching me carefuly.
"I don't know what's wrong with you people -why you're acting like everything's perfectly normal since it obviously isn't- but I've had enough. I've had enough of being bossed around, I've had enough of feeling betrayed by the people I love and most of all, I've had enough of being treated like I'm fucking breakable. I'm going home." Not waiting to hear what anybody had to say, I quickly turned on my heels, my nose practically coliding with Gabe's chest the moment he stood up.
"You're not going anywhere Julia, so sit the fuck down." Trying to ignore Miranda's shocked intake of air at Gabriel's choice of words, I sidestepped my murderer, my feet already taking me towards the exit the moment my father called after me.
It wasn't really a surprise when Gabriel caught up with me before even reaching the door, large hands grabbing my hips and picking me off the ground. What really came as a surprise though were his whispered words seeping into my ear.
"Calm the fuck down, Julia. We all just want to have a nice dinner together and it's not gonna be so nice if you give your father a heart attack, will it?" My lips pursed, my body becoming rigid under his touch. How dared he use that argument on me?
"Put me down, Gabriel." I growled, my voice a little louder than expected.
"I'll put you down as soon as I get you back to the table and tightly secured to your chair." Incapable to hold myself back anymore, I allowed anger to take over me, my eyesight going red, my teeth sinking into my murderer's shoulder. "Fucking hell, Julia!" Gabriel's voice resembled a pained hiss, his grip of me loosening up ever so slightly, my body finally capable of escaping his hold.
Unfortunately, before even getting the chance to walk away from him, my murderer's hand reached out grabbing my wrist and pulling me back against his chest.
"Will you just stop fighting me? This was supposed to be good for you not to make you lose your shit." My upper lip curled in utter disgust at his words, my conscience starting to fire all sorts of nasty stuff I can't even reproduce at him.
"How was any of this supposed to be good for me? I don't wanna be here, Gabriel." My fisted hands colided with his chest once, twice, three times, Gabriel taking it all, his hazels never breaking contact with my blues.
"Julia, that's enough." My father's shout took me by complete surprise, making me stop my assault on my murderer and turn to look at him. Lewis Groves' face was burning a bright shade of red, his eyes burning with something resembling desperation. "I know you don't wanna be here right now, but -believe it or not- this is the best place where you could be at the moment. God's my witness that I hate knowing you here with this guy, but you need the protection this place and Gabriel Shaffer can provide you with. The second you stop needing that protection, I'd be happy to never have to hear his name again, but for now darling, you need him." I hated the fact that deep down I knew my father was right and I also hated the fact that I was being given no choice. "Now, if you'll excuse us, Mr Shaffer, me and my wife, we'll go." Quickly casting her glance to her husband as if to check if he was being serious, Miranda stood up, her hands frantically smoothening the nonexistent creases in her dress.
"It's been a pleasure meeting the two of you. You make a wonderful couple." My dad's wife mumbled sweetly in Mathew and Angie's direction, her eyes then finding mine. "Call me anytime you may need something, ok sweety?" Refusing to let the tears that had already formed at the corners of my eyes flow, I nodded my head at the only mother I'd ever had. Giving me an apprehensive smile, the woman then took my father's offered hand, following him towards the front door of Gabe's penthouse.
Reaching for the knob, my dad's hand hovered in the air for a moment, his head turning back and his eyes finding mine.
"You really need to understand that this is all for your own good." Oh, that I had sort of understood already. What I failed to understand was what the fuck my own good was supposed to mean.
"I'm fine, dad." He slightly shook his head, his eyes hooded and dark.
"You see, dear, that's it. You're fine and safe now and we need to keep it that way." Nodding his head at Gabriel this time, my father opened the door while taking Mir's hand again and stepped out of the room, leaving me wondering what the fuck was with all the code talking. Shuffling noises coming from the dinner table made me snap out of it, my eyes automatically scanning the room and finding my friend standing up from her chair, Joshy still in her arms.
"I should go too, Jules. I think it's time to put this one to sleep." Smiling fondly down at her son Lila did her best to avoid my glance and actually succeded to. My own friend was holding something out on me.
"Actually, Ms Mathews, I'd like a word with you." Finally looking up from her son and straight into my murderer's eyes, Lila nodded without delay. "Good. Mathew will take you home afterwards. Maria, please show Ms Mathews the way to my office." The old Italian woman -I'd even forgoten was in the same room with us- gave me a gentle smile on her way to my friend, then gently pushed Lila forward towards the hallway. "Mathew, please go start the Rover. It won't take long." Gabriel's voice sounded tired and defeated, the heavy sigh escaping his lips not making me feel any better.
"Of course." His wingman nodded, eagerly standing up from his chair and taking his fiance with him.
The front door of the penthouse opened and closed as Gabriel's last two guests made their hasty exit, leaving me and my murderer alone in a room that suddenly seemed too small for the both of us. Reaching out, his hand grabbed the edge of the working top, my murderer keeping his back to me, his shoulders slightly slumped. Another heavy sigh broke the silence a second later, his chest expanding, his knuckles turning white from the pressure I knew he was applying to the poor wooden island.
"This didn't go as expected..." Gabriel mumbled before pushing himself away from the white furniture and starting to walk away.
"Gabriel, I..." The words got stuck in my throat, the lump they formed almost chocking me. My murderer's steps halted, his entire body straightening so that I knew I had his attention. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me -what triggered that reaction." Looking back over his shoulder, the smallest of smiles graced Gabriel's lips.
"Don't worry, judge. We all go a little crazy sometimes." And with that he started walking again, leaving me utterly alone in the middle of his sterile kitchen.
$$$
The bed dipped under his weight, his arms imediatelly snaking around my waist and keeping me secured against his chest while his feet entangled with mine. Smiling ever so slightly I let out a soft sigh the moment his nose went into my hair inhaling deeply, his lips applying a soft kiss at the base of my neck. Reaching the conclusion that he either knew I wasn't sleeping or that he simply didn't care if he woke me up, I chose to give up on pretending I didn't know he was there.
"What are you doing, Gabriel?" I could feel his grin on the back of my neck, my body willing me to move closer into him.
"Hush. I'm sleeping." A short laugh escaped me making his hold of my waist tighten a little and instigating a low moan from him. "I'm only here for sleeping, but unless you stop stirring I bet we'll end up doing much more than just that, Ms Groves." My body imediatelly stilled, my smile vanishing.
"Why take the chance, Mr Shaffer? As far as I know you have your very own room you can sleep in." His chuckle made my insides melt.
"I seem to sleep much better with you by my side, Julia. Now please hush and go to sleep. We'll have plenty of time for talking in the morning." But we both knew that that didn't necessarily mean we were actually going to talk.
"What are you not telling me, Gabriel? What did you talk to Lila about?" Simply shaking his head once, my murderer kissed one of my shoulder blades.
"Just business. Nothing for you to worry about, Julia." But I did worry and he knew it. I worried because I knew that whatever it was they were all hiding from me it must have had something to do with Marco's attempt to kill me. Something was off and I was going to find out what that something was.
My eyelids soon grew heavy though, my eyes closing, my body relaxing into Gabriel and reminding me of how much I actually needed his proximity after everything I'd been through, the cogs in my mind refusing to spin and find me the answers I was looking for anylonger. So instead of thinking of all the reasons why we were bad for eachother, of everything I knew Gabriel was hiding from me or of the last few weeks of my life, I decided to let it all go for one night and pretend like everything was just the way it was supposed to be. Fuck! This pretending thing was really becoming quite a custom, wasn't it?