"How was your day with Axel?" Hannah asked as I sat next to her at our lunch table.
"Good," I said nonchalantly, forcing myself not to look at her. "Whatever."
"Oh my god." I knew Hannah was grinning. "You like him."
I whipped my head to look at her, eyes wide. "I don't!"
"Do too!"
Huffing, I scowled. I didn't want to talk about this. Axel and I had one nice day together and I still barely knew him. Liking the guy was not possible.
"Hannah, I don't think he's horrible," I admitted. "But, I won't fall for him."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because." I frowned. "He's... I just won't."
Hannah shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?"
"I always wonder the same thing."
Our heads whipped towards who had spoken and my eyes went wide with horror as I saw Axel standing there, grinning. Internally I began to pray that he heard nothing.
Ignoring Hannah's enormous grin, I asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I need a favour from a very pretty girl," Axel said, winking. "Would you be up for it?"
My eyebrows rose. Staring at him, my heart stuttered as I wondered what he wanted.
"What's the favour?" I asked, staring into his eyes.
"I need a Calculus tutor," he said, shrugging. "I'm getting a pretty low mark and my parents are pissed. Could you help?"
I stared at Axel, slightly surprised. A part of me was also disappointed for some reason, but I hid my emotions. Blinking, I wondered what to say.
"I'll pay you," Axel added, looking suddenly shy. "And I understand if you're too busy and stuff, but it would really mean a lot if you'd help."
Axel looked hopeful and nervous, and it got to me. So even though I felt like this would be a bad idea, I just sighed and nodded. He broke into a grin again and I was glad to see joy fill his eyes.
"Thank you!" he exclaimed. "Honestly, thank you so much."
All of the sudden, he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. My face went completely red, my heart stopped, and Hannah giggled next to me, causing me to give her a dirty look. She shut up and I was glad because fury was all I felt. Fury and this tight feeling in my stomach that made me worry.
"Don't touch me," I snapped, eyes hard. "Axel, I swear to god if you touch me again I'll-"
"Whoa." Axel's eyes went wide. "My bad... Chill. I'm sorry."
A tense silence suddenly surrounded us and I noticed Hannah was staring at the ground. Axel looked away as well and suddenly, I felt bad. I hadn't meant to snap, but being touched by a guy who wasn't my boyfriend got to me. I didn't know why, but my defences had flown up at the simple kiss.
Guilty, I asked, "When do we start?"
"Friday?" Axel said, looking back at me. "Your house?"
"Sure." I forced a small smile. "Sounds good."
Axel also forced a smile and for once, I hoped we would get to hang out soon. Knowing I had created tension between us, I suddenly felt horrible. Almost as if I had ruined something.
*****
"Hey," I said, opening the front door wide. "Come in."
Axel grinned and stepped in. As he took off his shoes, I stared at him, realizing how odd this was. Just weeks ago I had hated him and now he was the first guy to come to my house. Things had changed so much because of the stupid kiss.
"Where are we going to study?" Axel asked, standing up straight.
"My room?" I asked. "Is that fine?"
For a mere second Axel seemed caught off guard, but he quickly replaced the look with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at that, preparing myself for what he would say.
"That sounds." He grinned. "Incredible."
"Shush." I shook my head. "Let's go."
I led Axel to the stairs and right before we could climb it, I suddenly heard my mom call me. Frowning, I stopped in my place.
"Yes Mom!" I shouted.
"Come here dear!" she shouted back. "And bring your friend."
Surprise filled me and I glanced at Axel, wondering if he was okay with this. He simply shrugged and I sighed, wondering why he would be meeting my parents. Axel shouldn't even be in my life.
The both of us walked to the kitchen where my parents were. The both of them were standing at the oven and when we entered, they turned around and grinned. But upon seeing Axel, their grins fell for a moment and I noticed they tensed. I realized at that moment I hadn't mentioned that Axel was a guy and based on the leather he wore and his handsome face, my parents would be wary of him.
"Hello," my mom said, forcing a smile. "You must be Zoey's new friend."
"Hello," Axel said, walking up to her. "I'm Axel."
Axel extended his hand out to my mom and she took it, shaking it. She relaxed a bit and I was thankful as I watched Axel also shake my dad's hand. I did want them to like him, even if I didn't.
Axel soon returned to my side and I looked at him, wondering how he was feeling. He was smiling, but his eyes wore a neutral expression. Knowing eyes were the windows to the soul, I began to feel anxious about whether he was comfortable or not.
"So, Zoey is going to tutor you, right?" my dad asked.
"Yup," Axel answered, glancing at me. "She's brilliant. I know she can save my mark."
"She is brilliant." My mom grinned. "She'll be an incredible tutor. Watch your mark soar."
"Can't wait. My parents will be thrilled."
My eyes were on Axel and because his eyes still held no expression, I knew I should bring him upstairs. Even though I loved my parents, I didn't want them being around people my age for too long. It was a teenager thing.
"I'm going to take Axel upstairs," I said. "Okay?"
"Okay." My mom smiled uneasily. "See you two later. Have fun."
"We're studying, Mom." I sighed, turning around. "Not going on a date."
My mom tensed at the word date and I knew I shouldn't have said it. Knowing this wouldn't end well, I grabbed Axel's wrist and I dragged him back to the stairs. We were soon upstairs and right when we reached the top, I heard Luke shout out in surprise. My head flew up and I saw Luke standing in front of his room, grinning.
"Zoey," Luke said, sounding shocked. "You... You brought a guy home? Are you even my sister?"
I rolled my eyes and Axel suddenly went to my side. Luke's jaw dropped at the sight of him and shaking my head, I watched as Axel walked up to my brother.
"Hey man," Axel said, grinning.
"Hey," Luke said, grinning back.
They did that odd guy hug thing and standing there, I watched them talk about a book, Me, Before You. It was strange seeing my brother and Axel look like friends. Especially when I never knew they knew each other until recently. Even weirder hearing them talk about a book.
Soon they said their goodbyes and Axel walked back to me. Staring into his eyes now, I was glad to see joy was in them. All of my nerves vanished at the sight and I realized in that moment that I wanted Axel to get along with my family. Luke and him getting along brought some sort of peace to me and smiling, I walked to my room.
"Let's begin," I said quietly, stepping in.
Axel followed me and suddenly we were standing in my freakishly clean, small room. It was oddly empty with its single bed and desk, and I couldn't help but notice my room was plain looking with its white, bare walls. With Axel standing next to me, looking around, I suddenly felt self conscious.
"I know I have a desk," I said, hoping he'd stop analyzing my room. "But I prefer to study on my bed. Is that okay?"
"Yeah," he said, looking at me. "Sounds great."
I walked over to my bed covered by plain white sheets and told myself that it was just a bedroom. How it looked didn't matter when its purpose was for you to close your eyes and sleep in most of the time. But yet, I felt oddly embarrassed.
Pressing my back against the dark headrest of the bed, Axel soon joined me. He sat next to me, but to my surprise, he kept his distance. I was completely aware of it as I thought of how usually Axel never cared about space. Guilt filled me as I realized my snapping must of got to him.
"What?" I said, glancing at him as I pulled my Calculus textbook onto my lap. "Do you believe in stranger danger all of the sudden?"
"No," Axel said, looking confused. "I thought you did."
I didn't say anything as I opened my textbook. Flipping to the unit we were on, I felt his eyes on me. They seemed to be calling me, but I chose to ignore him for some reason. My ears couldn't help but heat up anyways.
Silence surrounded us and I felt anxious all over again. It gave me stress and I told myself to relax, but I couldn't. Not when he sat so far, staring at me, leaving me feeling isolated. That was why I took a deep breath in and decided to fix things.
"You're not going to be able to see from over there," I said. "Move closer."
I looked at Axel then and became surprised when I saw that he was smiling. Blushing, I looked away and found myself relaxing when he scooted closer.
"Is this better?" he asked, sitting near me.
"Yes," I said quietly, looking back at him.
His eyes were near mine and for a second, we stared at each other. I looked into his eyes and wished I could draw, knowing I yearned to capture the beauty of his eyes in a single drawing. They were that beautiful and I always loved how they looked when they locked with my own brown eyes.
Surprisingly, Axel was the first to look away. I was left to blush, realizing I had gotten lost in his eyes. Having a thing for blue eyes was one of my weaknesses.
"Should we start?" Axel asked, staring at the book now.
"We shall," I said quietly.
I began to teach Axel and to my surprise, I found myself at peace as I simply taught him derivatives. It was soothing being with him, speaking in whispers, and suddenly I found myself looking forward to more opportunities with him. I hated myself for such thoughts, but I couldn't stop them.