How, how am I supposed to feel
Molly tried to keep her gaze leveled at her friend currently speaking, but she just couldn't. Directly behind her friend was William. With his new girlfriend. Of course. She surpressed the urge to either cry or claw the bitch's eyes out.
When everything surrounding me
"By the way, how are you dealing with, you know," one of her friends asked, their eyes filled with concern. Molly shrugged.
Is nothing but a fake disguise
She pulled up a beaming smile and waved her hand dismissively, "You mean he-who-must-not-be-named?" Her friends bursted into a fit of giggles, the expected reaction. After a few minutes, the calmed down, and waited for her real response. "I'm over him, I told you that," Molly rolled her sapphire eyes, as her heart ached and begged to differ.
I don't know
She didn't know if she meant it or not. She was careful to keep distance between them, deleted him from her Facebook, Phone and her life. That didn't mean, however, she didn't keep her eyes off of him. What did she feel? She assured her friends and family so many times she was over William, that she was starting to believe her story herself. Was she really over him?
I don't know where I belong
The comforting, reassuring smiles of her friends and their always infectous laughs didn't quite reach her to the core like it used to. She felt out of place, as if this happiness was undeserved.
It's time for me to carry on
Molly mentally shook her head. It's been almost 6 months, and he's obviouly moved on. She obviously hadn't. Her usually flirtatious streak had been dampened, if there were any flirting on her part in the first place, for that matter.
I'll say goodbye
The bell gave a sharp ring, indicating it was time for them to depart for their individual classes. Molly bid farewell to her friends, as she stood there, contemplating what to do. She didn't have the heart to go to class. Today marked their 2nd year anniversary, if they had still been together. The date had been etched into her mind like ink in paper. Abruptly, she swiveled around and headed for the exit. She was going to finish this.
I can't stop the rain from falling
She moaned out loud as she saw the dary gray clouds emitting sinsiter shadows across the campus. It was going to rain. Just earlier, the sun had been peeking behind the mountains. Now, it barely stood a chance against the threatening clouds above. She hadn't bought a jacket. Great. Not wanting to chicken out of her head strong idea, she toughed it out and hurried her way to the lake. Maybe if she got there fast enough, she wouldn't get soaked.
Nope. The clouds roared in anguish, a lightning bolt cracked and the drops began hurtling down. Great.
I'm drowning in these tears I cry
This was a stupid idea, she thought, disgusted with her determination. What was she trying to accomplish by soaking herself to the bone, anyway? She knew the anwer deep in her heart, but her brain was too fussy to acknowledge its existence.
Since you left without a warning
It was all about her finally getting over him. To toss away her persevering hopes of him ever glancing back at her. Why did she ever think he'd come back, after abruptly dumping her? He hadn't even bothered making it fluffy. He just said they were over. No explainations, no excuses, no nothing.
I face the dawn with sleepless eyes
Sighing, she rubbed her tired eyes, feeling the deep bags that inhabited them. She was embarrassed to admit that he was the cause for her nightmares, if she was lucky. She couldn't coax herself to sleep at all. Therefore, being able to rest her eyes with anything, even a nightmare involving him, was a blessing. Her friends had definitely noticed, and were worried sick she was depressed. She hadn't wanted them to worry, so she told them that she was taking more hours with baby sitting. That was close to the truth. She wasn't baby sitting kids - she was baby sitting her love sick broken heart.
No, I can't go on
Without really paying attention to where she was going, except for the direction, it was no great surprise that she slipped and tripped over an intruding root. Molly didn't bother screaming in alarm or horror as she drenched her clothes with not only water but with mud. She lay flat in the mud, unsure of what to do. Normally she would be mourning over the loss of cleaness in her clothes. But she wasn't exactly her normal self.
When clouds are pushing down on me, boy
Undecesive of whether to get up or just enjoy herself down on the mud, she flipped over unto her back. She winced as she felt her ankle moan in protest. She must have sprained it. Still feeling too numb to think, she patted down right over the middle of the chest, for the familiar warm locket that lay close to her heart.
I can't stop, I can't stop the rain
Molly yanked out the locket, immediately regretting getting the sterling silver precious item wet and muddy. She effortlessly clicked the heart shaped locket open to reveal a handsome male smiling back at her. A smile she hadn't been graced with since the day he broke up with her. His face was scrunched up in mid laughter, his light chocolate eyes glittered, his dark blond hair swooped to the side and the distinguishing lips and smile...
From falling
Determination filled her veins as she snapped the locket shut with finality. She wasn't going to be looking at this thing ever again.
So tell me where I went wrong
Determination wavered over to relief as she spotted the school's lake. It was empty, as expected. Everyone sane was inside the school, safe and warm. Not crazed and soaking wet.
"I expected to find you here," murmured a voice she knew all too well. The rich deepth of it crawled up her skin and chilled her to the bone more than the rain did.
She couldn't form a word with her lips. What could she possibly say?
I'm stuck inside a dream long gone
Molly clenched her fingers into fists, mentally battling away the bombarding images. The images of him embracing her, of his sweet murmurings in her ear, of the question that made her heart explode. The images of him telling her that he had loved her. Yeah, right.
Suddenly, hope soared through her heart. He went all through the rain and cold to check up on her. Maybe he missed her and regretted dumping her. Why else would he be here? This was a perfect movie moment. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her lips.
It's hard to reveal the truth
"Do you miss me?" William asked, his eyes focused on the mess in front of him. She was filthy and silent. Maybe she had gone crazy, like he had expected of her. She was always wild.
Molly hesitiated. What could she say to that? Pour her heart right here and right now? Tell him of all the troubles she'd had with eating, sleeping and thinking? Because of him? That was pretty pathetic, but he should hear it, if he was going to be asking her back. "Yes," she answered, leaving out the other confessions lingering on her tongue.
William frowned. This was going to make it harder for him. He had expected her to say no. He had noticed her constant eyes following him, but he thought it had been in hatred. Not want.
Your love,
"Well, don't. We're over and I'm on cloud nine with Dominique."
Is nothing but a bitter taste
Molly blinked. She blinked again. She couldn't believe her ears. That kind of confession did not happen in movies. She was speechless. He had not only rejected her, he had stabbed the final wound into her heart.
It's better if I walk away
Molly turned away abruptly. William raised an eyebrow. He had been expecting some wild outburts from her. Somewhere deep inside, he felt truly sorry for breaking her heart. But that was overwhelmed with the fact that they had never been a good couple and she was too weird for his taste. He had fallen in love with her uniqueness, but that infatuation hadn't lasted long.
Away from you
Molly began stumbling away, her ankle throbbing and her knees wobbling.
I can't stop the rain from falling
She actually began to be thankful for the rain. It concealed the tears that were streaming down her face.
I'm drowning in these tears I cry
She wasn't sure where she was going, she could barely see with the tears invading her eyes. She wanted more than anything to fall to a heap on the ground and pass out or at least wait until the pain passed from her heart. But no. She had to do this.
Since you left without a warning
"I wish you had given me a reason," Molly muttered bitterly, talking to herself. She had considered every possibility and she couldn't find one. He had said he had loved her, and she had assumed he had been telling the truth. Molly, when she had finally said 'I love you', she had meant it.
I face the dawn with sleepless eyes
The pain from her ankle, her wobbly knees and tears were making her light headed. She would give up everything she had to just sleep and never wake up. But, she had made William her everything, and now she was left with nothing.
No, I can't go on
Molly spotted another part of the lake she had been walking along side of. She tore off the necklance from her neck, the delicate silver chain snapping, leaving her neck burning. She ignored all forms of pain. It was nothing compared to what her heart was feeling or rather not feeling.
When clouds are pushing down on me, boy
She clutched unto the locket and closed her eyes. She had treasured this locket forever and had added his picture to it. She felt as if it had been defiled. She didn't want anymore memories of him. If that meant throwing away her expensive and nearly priceless locket, so be it.
I can't stop, I can't stop the rain
Molly shook her head and laughed to herself. She seemed like a crazy woman. Firthly, soaked and laughing to herself without an audience. She couldn't help it, though. All those months wasted on hoping he'd acknowledge her once more and that everything would be okay after was a huge joke. And she hadn't gotten it until now.
From fallin'
Wordlessly, she threw the priceless locket into the water, satisfied with the soft plunk the water gave as it sucked the locket underneat. Just like the locket, she'd sink all thoughts of him into the fathomless depths of her heart.