Finding Mr. Perfect's Flaws
[Twenty-three]
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.
COLLINPOV
When I woke up, the first thing I felt was a small body wrapped in my arms. I knew exactly who it was, and it made me smile. I kept my eyes closed, listening to my breathing and his. I slept really well last night, considering what had happened.
I smiled then, my eyes opening. Zachary, my boyfriend, was still in my arms. I stretched, receiving that tiny orgasm of pleasure as I did so. I giggled at the thought and I felt Zachary shift. He slowly turned in my arms, now facing me. His big brown eyes looked into mine. I felt showered in love, my worries fading away. My light brown hair was tickling his face, making his small nose wrinkle and a huge grin erupt on his face.
Before I could kiss him, he kissed me. One of his hands slipped onto my neck and he leaned towards me. My mouth opened and he kissed me. His mouth was soft and warm. He snuggled closer to me, his mouth molding around mine. His arms wrapped around me and mine did the same. We held each other tightly, our mouths glued together.
"Ew, morning breath," Zachary giggled, his little nose crinkling.
"Well good morning to you too," I said breathlessly. He giggled again. "I can't believe my boyfriend is so adorable," I whispered before I attacked his mouth again. He made a humming sound at the back of his throat. My eyes closed, my body heating up.
I slowly rolled over, so I was now lying on top of him. His mouth opened wide, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I pressed up against him even more, all of my weight going onto him. His legs wrapped around my waist and his arms grabbed onto mine. As we were kissing, my eyes fluttered open. I looked across the room, at the bulletin board. I hated it. My eyes then switched over to the desk. An old Polaroid camera was on top of it. I lightly pulled away from Zachary, my eyes still locked on it.
"Baby," He wined, pawing at my arm. I looked down into his big eyes. I grinned and kissed him. Then I got up and walked over to the desk.
"Collin, what are you doing?" he giggled, watching me pick up the camera. I laughed, clutching it tightly. I walked over to Zachary. He was so sexy and adorable, lying out on the bed. He giggled again as I aimed the camera at him from above - covering his eyes with his hands. It clicked, and the photo slowly came out. I took it out, slightly waving it around. It came into focus and I smiled at his huge grin, hands over his eyes. I felt the camera being grabbed from my hands. I looked up, just in time for him to click the button.
I laughed, reaching for the photo. I ripped out the one that he had just taken and took one of him. He giggled again, grabbing it to take yet another photo of me. Then I had an idea. I took the camera from him and kissed him. I tilted the camera towards us and snapped a picture.
He pulled away, smiling. He slowly took the picture out of the slot and looked at it. A soft smile crept from his mouth. I took a picture of that. He laughed, looking up at me. I grinned at him and he grinned back. I slowly took the picture from his hands and then walked over to the board. I grabbed a pin and tacked on the picture of us kissing. As soon as I pinned it up, I finally looked at it. Tears came into my eyes at the beauty of it; of him. The sunlight behind our heads from the window. You could tell it was us - and it was perfect.
I turned towards him. He was smiling sadly, looking at the board.
"I like you up there a lot better," He whispered unexpectedly. I smiled then.
"I do too."
I walked forward and kissed him yet again. But we were both smiling too much to actually kiss. We both giggled. I rubbed the back of my hand across my eyes, erasing all evidence of tears. He was absolutely and spontaneously the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I wrapped my arms around him and his around me. We held each other, smiling and happy.
About an hour later, we were in my car. It was sadly Monday, and we had already missed our first periods. I knew that we both couldn't miss school - that would raise suspicions. I drove, holding his hand all the way. We sat in a comfortable silence, nothing ruined by pointless talking. I had borrowed a big t-shirt that he had, leaving on my jeans from yesterday. I hadn't asked to shower - that would have been weird. I secretly (and creepily) watched him dress. He didn't seem to care, but he went into the bathroom to change his boxers.
I didn't get it. I knew he had sex with Johnny more than a few times, so why was he still nervous? I didn't ask, not wanting to know about their relationship. Was I angry at Zachary for not being a virgin? No, but I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me at all. I squeezed his hand before letting go, slowly pulling into the parking lot of the big school. There wasn't anyone in the parking lot, everyone was already in class. By the time I found a parking spot, kids were being let from their third period classes. They didn't see us, desperate to reach the lunch lines before everyone else. Hungry bastards.
I glanced over at Zachary. He was already staring at me, giving me a knowing look. He knew how I felt. I wanted to keep us a secret until I could handle it - before I could handle telling everyone.
"My dad first, okay?"
He stayed quiet. Then he sighed.
"Am I allowed to tell Rich? He saw us yesterday, anyway," Zachary muttered, looking down and picking at a stray fray on his jacket. He was all bundled up and adorable from the cold.
"Only if he doesn't tell Dean."
He didn't look up at me. He shrugged. I sighed, leaning back against my chair. I ran my hands through my hair angrily. I knew it stood on end, but I didn't care. I hated hurting him, but I couldn't have anyone knowing yet. That would kill me. I was shunned once, and I couldn't go back there.
"Zachary, I'm sorry. I'm not going to keep you a secret forever. I'll tell my father this week, then we can come out public after. Alright?" I asked, looking over at him. He still didn't look up. He shrugged again.
"Alright."
"Zachary."
"I said it's okay," He said as his phone beeped. He gave me a quick, apoligetic look before he reached into his back pocket and took it out. He flipped it open and stared at the screen. As soon as he saw who it was from, he quickly shut it. I was dying to know who it was, but I didn't press for answers.
"Okay, Collin. I'll see you later, okay?" He asked, still not looking at me. He looked out of the window at the kids roaming the grounds. We were still too far away from the courtyard for anyone to see us. I ignored his desperate attempt to leave. I grabbed his arm and he finally turned to face me. I had been leaning in, so our faces were an inch apart. He didn't seem surprised to see me this close.
I finally closed to distance, kissing him on his soft lips. He kissed me back, surprisingly actually getting into it. It was an innocent kiss, but that didn't stop the emotion.
There was a rough tap on the glass of my window. We both jumped and I spun around to face the window. Rich was standing there, arms crossed and leaning down to stare at us. He was frowing. Zachary laughed and pushed my car door open. He jumped out and ran around the car. He collided into Rich, giving him a huge hug. I laughed lightly, killing the engine of my car and getting out myself.
ZACHARYPOV
I heard Collin get out of the car, but I ignored him. Johnny had just texted me and I knew that Collin would hate it if I knew that I forgave him. I knew I should tell Collin and I would - when he told everyone we were dating.
Rich lighly stepped away from me, looking up at Collin. Collin stopped next to us, his backpack slung over his right shoulder. He looked guilty of something, grinning sheepishly. Rich raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a knowing look. Collin bit his lip nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Then he leaned over and slowly curled his fingers around the side of my arm. He pulled me towards him, giving me an awkward side hug. Butterflies errupted in my stomach, of course, but I ignored them. Then Collin gave me one last side squeeze and walked away, straight through Rich and I. When he was gone, Rich started doing something that I never knew he could do.
He started to squeal.
I giggled, shushing him. I glanced at Collin's retreating back. But mostly, I was staring at his butt. I looked back at Rich, who was still making the high pitched noise. I covered my ears with my hands for effect, grinning.
"Why aren't you screaming? You're going out with Collin Lucas."
I laughed again. "I guess I'm still in shock. But yeah, I was. Trust me."
Rich linked an arm with mine, and we both started to walk to where Collin had just dissapeared into. The cafeteria door was right in front of us, facing the side of the parking lot. Rich was still breathless, staring off to where Collin had been walking.
"I knew he was gay!"
I laughed breathlessly.
"What is up with you and Dean anyway?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Rich's arm tensed, and he grinned.
"Oh, absolutely nothing."
"Then why are you grinning like a love-sturck girl?" I asked, smirking. He glanced over at me and smiled.
"He has been giving me hints. I know he's gay, though he never tells me. He just loves to hug me and the jock can't keep his hands off of me." He grinned again. "He loves to steal my glasses. I always thought having glasses was un-attractive, but now I'm not so sure."
"You really like him, don't you?" I asked, looking down at the ground as we walked. I was happy for Rich, but I was also jealous. Not of Dean, but of the openess that Dean had. He didn't care if people knew. I sucked it up quickly and looked up at Rich with a smile. Collin and I - We were getting there, and I just had to have faith.
"He makes me feel... like something. I never loved myself, but I'm starting to. He makes me feel special." Rich looked off into space, giving off a sad but happy vibe. I knew Rich really liked the guy. And I knew that Dean liked Rich as well.
When we opened the cafeteria doors, everything was normal. Kids sitting everywhere, at the tables, on the floor, on the tables. Food was being splattered, kids were laughing. The usual. But then, a loud sound, as if from a speaker rang out, stunning everyone into silence. Then, everything went quiet. All eyes looked to the middle of the cafeteria. I gasped as I saw the scene in front of me. Standing on one of the middle tables was none other than Dean. He was staring at us, smiling like an idiot and clutching a huge megaphone. Rich stopped dead, speechless. Everyone then turned to look at us. I blushed and ducked my head. I was embarrassed for Rich. I quickly unlocked our arms and took a step to the side, away from him.
"Now that I have your attention, Rich Oliver," Dean said into the megaphone. I could still see his huge ass smile. "I want to tell you something. These past few weeks have been amazing. You have to be the most amazing guy that anyone could want. So, Rich. Will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?"
Everyone gasped. Rich stood there, mouth hanging open like he was trying to catch flies. I giggled, reaching up to close his jaw. He snapped back into reality then, just as Dean jumped off of the bench. I silently and lightly punched his arm. He was still staring at Dean, eyes wide. I looked over at Dean and couldn't help the smile that crept on my face. He looked so nervous but confident at the same time. He looked like he was about to pass out and break down. He was actually thinking that Rich might say no. I was amazed.
Behind him, standing there in shock, was Collin. His mouth was wide open too. I could see people staring at him. He sensed my stare and caught my eyes with his. I shrugged, smiling. He smiled then, amazed and shocked. I was glad that Collin would be supportive, no matter how much of a shock this was to him.
Everyone was shocked into silence. Dean, one of the hottest guys' as school, was gay?! He was on the football team and everything! No one had heard of such madness! But there he was, about to pass out. I heard some snickers and catcalls, abut also some whispers of shock.
Then, Dean made a move. He took a step towards Rich. He slowly started walking towards him, knees shaking. It took Dean a while to reach us, but when he did, he stopped in front of Rich. There was a huge pause. Rich was still staring at him like had just screamed out another language at the top of his lungs. And then-
"Yes!" Rich yelled, launching himself at Dean.
They stayed there, hugging each other furiously for about a minute. And then they burst out laughing. I slowly backed up, smiling. It was so adorable.
Obviously, that was the only thing that anyone could talk about for the rest of the day. People were shocked and some girls were giggily. When I exited the school, people kept on glancing at me. They knew I was good friends with both of them, but they also knew that I was gay as well. So obviously people had to stare at me. I looked around for Collin, but I knew that I couldn't talk to him or hitch a ride. I was going to have to walk to work. Sure, it wasn't that far, but I hated walking.
As I exited the school, I pulled up my hood so no one would recognize me. I stuffed my hands into my pockets, breathing out and watching my breath rise in the air. I was walking for about five minutes, when I heard a familiar car roll up next to me. I turned, stunned when I saw the familiar car.
"Johnny?" I asked, frowning. I looked into the window, looking at my smiling ex-boyfriend.
"Get in, kitten. It's about twenty degrees outside," He said, leaning over and swinging open the passenger door for me. I hesitated, but then reluctantly hopped in. I shut the door after me, slipping off my backpack and dropping it onto the floor. Stupidly, and out of instinct, I leaned towards Johnny as soon as I got in the car. Every time he would pick me up last year, I would do this. And he fulfilled his old part in this motion. He leaned towards me as well and wrapped his arms around me.
"Damn, I'm sorry. I'm just used to doing that," I mumbled into his shoulder. He laughed, unwrapping me.
"I guessed as much. But friends can hug, right?" He asked, looking over at me. His eyes looked tired, but happy right now. His hair was still as crazy as ever, straight and purposefully "I just got out of bed". He tried too hard to make it like that. His familiar green eyes shined, the ones that I've seen under my covers but also right before he used to punch me in the face.
"Yeah," I said, looking out of the window. He started the car again and made his was towards my work. The trees flew past us, making it just a big smear of green.
"Work, right?"
"Yeah."
He started to hum to a song, looking out of the window as he drove. It took me a while to realize that we were holding hands. I silently slipped my hand out from under his and put them in my lap. He didn't even seem to realize that we had been holding hands. It was again just a reflex. It wasn't awkward in the car, though I desperately wish it was. I shouldn't be comfortable with Johnny, I should hate him. I took a deep breath and leaned back. I looked up at his ceiling.
"Are you okay?" He asked, breaking the silence. I didn't look over at him. It was a surprise when I realized that the car was stopped. I relaxed then, looking forward. We were in front of the ice cream parlor. I could get out of this car so that I wouldn't-
Johnny placed a hand on my arm. I slowly turned to face him, knowing that I would hate myself if I didn't. When I turned I was met once again by those green eyes.
"Can't I have a hug before you go?" He whispered, his eyes searching inside of mine. I was leaning into him before I could tell myself not to. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. He was so warm... My fingers gripped the back of his back, holding on tightly. I felt his lips at my neck. It was stupid to let him do what he did next, but I let him anyway.
He turned his head and kissed me. It took a few moments to realize that I was kissing him back. His mouth moved urgently against mine, making me feel wanted in a way that Collin never needed me. Johnny was desperate for me. I was still in shock that I was kissing him back, that it took a while to jerk away. When I felt his tongue against mine, that's when I shoved away from him.
"I have a boyfriend," I practically shouted as I jumped away. It flew out of my mouth before I could stop it.
His eyes seemed to be black and cold, inches from my own. He slowly backed away from me.
"What?"
"I have a boyfriend. What we had is over. In another life, maybe I would have stayed with you. But you really hurt me, Johnny. I can't forget what you've done. And who I'm with now... He means a lot to me. I loved you Johnny, I did. But now I ... I think I love him. What we had - that's over. I can't go back to you. My heart can't take it. But I want to be your friend. I still love you as a friend, but nothing more."
Throughout my whole speech, he stared at me. His face was expressionless. But when I was done, he slowly turned to look forwards. Then he put his head on his chair and looked up at the ceiling.
"I knew this was coming," He whispered. Then he closed his eyes. "Do we have to talk about this now?"
"Yes."
He opened his eyes and turned in his seat to face me. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stared into my eyes.
"I'm an ass. I hate what I have done to you. I hate who I am. I loved you Zachary and I still do. But I was stupid, and it took me too long to realize. If I could take everything back, I would. Just know that I never knew that I could feel that much. You were my everything and I lost it because I'm an asshole. A fucking moron. Just know that I was scared of how much I loved you. It terrified me. Whoever you're with is a lucky man. I promise to never touch you roughly or treat you wrongly again. I love you so damn much. It hurts so badly to sit here and know that you can never be mine again. I can't breathe when I'm around you. I think you broke my heart as well when you gave up on me."
I saw his tears at the end of that speech. I was trying to not cry, biting the insides on my cheeks. That was all I needed to hear from him. I've been waiting so long to hear those words... But I had no idea that he'd actually say it. I roughly wiped at my eyes, but I couldn't help it. I flung myself at him, clutching onto him and sobbing. He hugged me back, holding onto me like it was the last time that he ever would.
"I'm so sorry Johnny. I'm so sorry," I cried, clutching onto his hoodie back. He was crying too, holding me tightly. I've never seen him break down like this. We both sat there for a long time.
"No, I'm sorry kitten. I love you so much."
By the time I let go, I had five more minutes until my shift started. I leaned back and looked into his eyes. We both laughed half heartedly. He looked terrible - eyes all red and puffy. I bet I looked worse.
I tilted my head to the side and stared at him. He smiled sadly. I lightly put a hand on his shoulder and moved forward to lightly peck his lips. Then I backed away, opening the door.
"Goodbye, Johnny."
He sighed when I said that. It wasn't just goodbye for right now, it was goodbye to the old us. But a hello to the new friendship plan.
I slammed the door shut and ran outside. It had started raining when we were inside of the car, making the ground slippery and wet. I flipped up my hood and ran to the door. I yanked it open and dashed inside, retreating to the dryness of the ice cream parlor. When I got in, I almost ran into Dean.
I backed up and looked at his disappointed face. I looked back and saw Johnny pulling out of the parking lot.
"It wasn't what it looked like," I whispered. He stared at me, not saying anything. I heard Rich call him from the back freezers. Dean slowly walked away from me. He opened the door and went behind the serving counters. Then he retreated back into the coolers without looking back at me. I silently followed. Dean was pissed.
"-he isn't gay."
"Rich, I know he is-"
"Collin isn't gay. Trust me. Zachary made a move and he got stabbed in the back. Collin's not gay, okay? Zachary would never go back to that dick wad, Johnny, anyway."
I was thankful for Rich. He was telling Dean that Collin wasn't gay, like Collin wanted. I didn't want Dean to know yet.
"Then why was he kissing him?"
"Dean, trust me. You don't know what happened between them."
"Then tell me! I can't possibly-"
"Do you really want to know? That asshole used to beat him. Cheat on him, threaten him, and make him feel like shit."
There was a pause. I fell against the door. Had it been that obvious for everyone to see? I didn't care if Dean knew, but how did Rich know?
"He's not going back with him. He was probably getting rid of him. Don't ever think Zachary would be heartless as well. I can't even imagine how heartless Johnny used to be..."
There was another pause. Then I heard the sound of a kiss. I smiled softly.
"What...what was that for?"
"I'll never do that to you, Rich."
All of a sudden, the ice cream parlor door opened again. I quickly scurried to the scooper section like I was supposed to be located at, just in case Rich decided to make an apperance. When I caught sight of Collin, my eyes widened. He smiled when he saw me, starting to quickly make his way over. His big jacket made him look like a dorky mess. I couldn't help but smile as well.
Before he could come any closer, I knew that I had to tell him. His face was so happy to see me, and I knew that I couldn't keep it from him. I opened the small door and ran up to him. He seemed surprised when I collided into him.
"Whoa, Zachary. What's the matter?"
"Don't hate me," I muttered into his jacket. I took in his familiar scent.
"What's up?" He asked, kissing the side of my head.
"Johnny kissed me," I whispered. I felt his arms tighten around me. He lightly unwound his arms from around me. He took a big step back and stared at me. His eyes were shocked and angry.
"What?"
"He didn't hurt me, Collin. I told him that I had a boyfriend, and he was fine with it. I'm sorry, but I had to tell you." I whispered. He still was angry, I could tell.
"When did this happen?" He whispered, looking coldly into my eyes.
"Right now," I whispered, my bottom lip trembiling. His expression is what broke me. He was pissed at me. Tears of guilt started to streak down my face, falling once more. I put my hands to my face, crying silently. I hated myself. Why did I let him kiss me?
Out of nowhere, I felt strong arms around me. I started to cry harder. Collin held me until I stopped crying.
"You don't hate me?" I whispered, looking up at him. I wiped the back of my hand across my little nose. In response, he leaned down and kissed my tears away.
"I don't. I bet you were scared. Thank you for telling me, Zachary," He whispered, looking into my eyes. I cuddled into him, trying to contain my huge smile. I couldn't.
I had the best boyfriend in the world.
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Finding Mr. Perfect's Flaws (boyxboy) [Twenty-three]