***JEREMI POV***
I watch Regan as she crawls around on the blanket, trying to chase a small butterfly that had landed near her. It has been two weeks since I left Lucas and he had been doing good leaving me alone. I knew it hurt him but I needed to be away. I needed to think things through and think of what was best for my daughter. Rolland had been going over to make sure Lucas was ok and from what he told me Lucas has been keeping clean, he even deleted Arnold's number out of his contacts. I look down at my phone and reread the text message that was waiting to be sent.
TO My Love:
Lucas I am at the park with Regan.
We need to talk
I stare at it for a few minutes longer before finally pressing send. I hear a squeal and look up to see Regan standing up on wobbly legs trying to chase a squirrel. I stand up and scoop up my baby girl making her laugh. I tickle her stomach and do raspberries making her howl. An elderly couple turn their head and smile kindly at me before going about their day. I look down at the girl in my arms.
"Lets go to the swings." I say happily. She gurgles baby talk at me as I walk away from our picnic to the small playground near by. I make my way to the swings and smile when I see that there is one baby seat still open. Placing Regan in it I laugh when I see the Joy on her face as she kicks her legs. "Ready Regan, One , two and THREEEEE." I say and push the swing, causing her to shriek with laughter and kick her legs harder. I push her on the swing for a while until I feel my pocket vibrating. Using one hand I continue to push Regan as I check my phone.
From My Love:
Just got out of work.
Can you wait twenty Minutes?
Shit I forgot he worked today. I look up at the sky. It was a nice day out and I had extra diapers and food and toys for Regan to keep her entertained. I stop Pushing her for a few minutes to shoot off a reply.
To My Love:
Yes.
Regan lets out a small cry and my Head snaps over to her to see her reaching her arms out, wanting out of the swing. I stuff my phone back in my pocket and pick up my daughter.
"Lets go slide down the slide shall we?" I says to her kissing her cheek.
***LUCAS POV***
From Wifey
Yes.
I stare at the text before starting my car and racing to the Park. I knew which park she was talking about, the one that was about a five minute walk away from our house. It was roughly twenty minutes away from my work and I raced to it, my heart crashing in my chest painfully. I would get to see my daughter, My girlfriend. Its been Two weeks and each day felt like a hundred years. It was hell, Especially having Rolland check up on me. Didn't he have his own life to live and care about? Did he really need to spy on mine? I shake those thoughts out of my head as I focus on driving to the park, nerves pooling in my stomach. What did she want to talk about? Did she want me back? did she want to end the engagement and break up with me? Was she going to take Regan from me?
NO LUCAS STOP THINKING THAT WAY! No matter how messed up Jeremi and I got she would never take my daughter from me. She might ask for supervised visits, which with the way I have been acting I wouldn't blame her, But she would never Take her away from me. She wasn't that kind of person. With that in mind I raced to the park.
Twenty minutes later I park the car next to Jeremi's and enter the national wildlife Park. I easily spot Jeremi and Regan sitting on a blanket under a large oak tree. I stop dead in my tracks and just watch them. Regan was crawling around on the blanket playing with her toys as Jeremi watches her with love. I smile. That was my family right there! In that moment I knew I would never give them up without a fight. Just then Jeremi looks up and her brown eyes Lock with my Blue ones, a small smile spreading on her lips. I gulp and give her a smile back as I walk toward her. She pulls Regan onto her lap and points at me, Regan lifts her eyes and slight recognition sparkles in them as she reaches her hands out to me. I quicken my pace and drop to my knees in front of them, holding my arms out to her. Jeremi places Regan in my arms and I hug her too me, my body trembling.
" Hey baby girl how are you. Oh daddy missed you." I whisper kissing the top of her head. She gurgles baby talk and I just hug her tighter. I hug her until she gets antsy and kicks her leg, bouncing as she tries to get out of my arms and move. I laugh and let her go, watching as she crawls away to grab a fistful of grass and throw it. I can feel Jeremi's eyes on me but I'm too afraid to look at her, too afraid she'll say she was done.
"Lucas please look at me." She whispers softly. I take a deep breath and turn to look at her. She was beautiful, like she had always been to me. Brown eyes, Long glossy red hair that she had in a braid right now, freckles across the bridge of her nose, defined cheek bones, and a beautiful smile that was currently shy. I give her a shy smile back. "How have you been?" She asks carefully. I knew what she meant. She wanted to know if I had been staying out of trouble. I shrug and lean back against the tree.
"I've been good, Stressed and guilt ridded but good." I admit. I look away, watching as Regan took handful after handful of grass and threw it, giggling the whole time. I look back at Jeremi, Tears in my eyes. What the hell! I never use to cry! "Jeremi I'm so sorry. I remember everything I did and I was a complete Dick! I cant believe I did that. I'm so sorry. I would never hurt you." I ramble, my voice getting choked with emotions. I stop talking and swallow the lump forming in my throat, blinking hard to not cry. Jeremi just looks at me with a torn expression. I can see the battle in her eyes. Should she trust me? should she believe me? She looks at Regan and I feel my heart shudder to a stop. She didn't want to fix this.
"I'm torn Lucas." She whispers barely audible. " I love you, You know I do. But I need to protect Regan. I cant let her be around you if you are going to be like that." My eyes sting as tears build and this time I don't try to stop them, I feel them slide down my face.
"Jeremi I'm done with that shit. I got out of control and I lost it. But I wont touch the stuff again if it means I get to keep you two in my life. You and Regan are the best things to ever happen to me. You are everything to me. I don't want to ruin it. I know I already messed things up big time. But I will get better I wont touch it again. I wont talk to Arnold anymore. I'll cut him out of my life. Hell I wont even drink a beer at home. No more alcohol and NO more Drugs. I promise." I tell her, my voice sounding desperate even to my own ears. I knew I was begging but I didn't care. I needed my family back.
***JEREMI POV***
"If these past two weeks are any indication of how life without you two in it will be like then I'd rather give up all of it to keep you." He whispers and I can see him hang his head and stare at the blanket, tears falling from his eyes. Mixed emotions swirl inside me. Do I trust him? I don't know.DO I love him? With my whole heart and soul. Do I think He will relapse again? Possibly. Did I want to get back with him? With every fiber of my being. Was getting back together with him a good idea? Probably not. Was I going to? I don't know. I watch Regan as she happily pulls the grass out of the ground and tosses it, kicking her legs with joy. She takes a fist full and instead of throwing it she stick it in her mouth, chewing it slowly, her face scrunching up with disgust. Lucas jumps up and goes over to her, scooping up the baby in his arms. "Silly girl don't eat that." He laughs opening her mouth to take the remaining grass out. I giggle as I watch my daughter try to gum her father. He just grins and holding her up slowly spins her making her shriek with laughter, her legs and arms kicking in the air. He brings her back over to us and lets her go when she squirms away. He was a great father to Regan, there was no doubt about that. We sit in comfortable silence as we watch our daughter. I knew he was giving me time to think over things. He shifts and leans back, putting his hands under his head, but still keeping an eye on the baby. I inch closer and place my hand on his elbow jumping slightly when he shifts and takes my hand in his, weaving out fingers together and squeezing tightly. He squeezes my hand three times. I Squeeze Love Squeeze You Squeeze. He keeps his hand firmly around mine, waiting and hoping I would squeeze back, finishing the little ritual we had. I take a deep breath and respond with two squeezes. How Squeeze, Much Squeeze. I hear his sharp intake of breath and then he is crushing my hand in a tight bone crushing squeeze. This Much Squeeeeeeeeeze. I look at him at the same time he sits up on his elbows and I give him a small smile. He gives me his Cheshire grin and tugs my hand making me fall on top of him, my front against his chest. I look into his eyes and he leans forward as I move my head closer. Our lips connecting in a deep loving kiss. " I love you Jeremi Elizabeth Flint." He whispers against my lips. I break the kiss and look him deep in the eyes.
"And I love you Lucas Brennan Carver. Even when you are a pain in my ass." I tease sticking my tongue out. He gives me a mock hurt face, His hand flying to his chest.
"You wound me kind lady." He says with a fake southern gentleman accent. I giggle.
"Who said anything about me being a kind lady... Good Sir." I say playing along. He gives me a loopy grin and leans close, kissing me again. " Can I come home?" I ask and I can feel his grin spreading. He ends the kiss and looks at me with so much love and happiness.
" Absolutely. And I promise. Things will be different." He says. I nod, nerves pooling in my stomach.
I loved Lucas with everything I had. And I knew he loved me and Regan just as much. I wanted to make things work with him. I needed to give him a little trust to prove himself, to prove he wasn't going to do that again. But why...
Why did I feel like this was all one giant mistake.
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A/N
THE HAND SQUEEZING IS SOMETHING THAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG. HE TAUGHT IT TO MY MOTHER AND LATER TO MY STEPMOTHER AND LITTLE BROTHER.
I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!
also do you think she is making a mistake?