Alazne
”Wow you’re amazing,” Josh breathed onto my cheek. His head was relaxing on my shoulder. He was holding up his tablet in one hand in the air so we both could see, and another was holding mine. “I want to want to see it again.”
“No more,” I said, my cheeks blazing at the idea of watching Kathryn’s Vlog again. My hand tightened around his warm hands to stop him from replaying the video.
Josh laughed, and placed his tablet down beside him on the bed. Shifting on his queen-size bed, he propped himself up on his elbow and stared at me. “Then should we practice?”
“What?” My breath was heavy. Is he asking if we could kiss? I was still memorized by out kiss in the hallway, where he kissed me so passionately I thought it was all a dream. That it was just a weird fantasy of mine.
“Your poem,” he chuckled. Blood swarmed to my cheeks. I quickly covered my face with my hands and rolled onto my side away from him. Did he know what I was thinking?
“I can’t take you seriously after the kiss,” I blurted, a giggle came out of my lips. “I just can’t.”
“Why not, Alana?” he continued to tease, his hands curling around my waist and drawing my back to his chest. I sucked in my stomach, conscious about his presence over my body. “Did I take your breath away?” His head snuggled into neck, and he planted sweet kisses upon them towards my jaw line.
“N-no,” I attempted to brush off his comment, though the idea made my stomachs fill with dancing butterflies, and rainbows fill my head, I couldn’t make me lips go down and stop that idiotic smile of mine.
“Then what is it?” he asked, bringing his hands down to my midsection. I laughed harder. I felt ten times ticklish than I ever thought was possible. “Why are you laughing?”
“Be-because,” I turned around, my hands naturally soughing out his neck. “You’re such a tease.”
He stopped, and peered down at me before planting a delicious kiss upon my lips. My hands raked through his hair, unable to handle the distance between us.
“We should,” Josh said, breaking away from the kiss to get some air. “Practice a bit.”
“We will.”
The tip of his lips twitched upward. “Now or else I can guarantee we’ll never get around practicing.” His hand brushed along my hair, and cupped my cheek. “Unless you want to continue, that is, because I’m okay, no fine with both.” He pressed his lips on my temple.
I blushed, comprehending the entire situation. How close we were, and how… “Practice,” I squeaked, finally. “That sounds good.”
“That sounds like a brilliant idea,” he kissed me again, only lighter and shorter than the others, but still left me breathless.
“I thought you said that if we continued…”
“Smart girl,” he commented, and rolled himself off the bed. He tugged at the hem of his shirt, and ran his fingers through his newly tousled hair. He looked like a mess, a real hot mess. My head heated up at that idea.
I combed my tangled-heap that I call hair with my fingers wondering how I looked. Did I look like a wreck?
“Did you already memorize it?” He inquired, extending his hand towards me. I grasped it, and allowed him to guide me off the bed.
“I think so,” I told him. A burst of anxiety appeared inside me. I never was very good at presenting in front of people. Why’d I even agree to it?
“That’s brilliant.” He wrapped one hand around my waist and drew me closer. His lips tickled my forward, brushing along them as he spoke, “That means more time for us.”
“I doubt it,” I mumbled, attempting to control my legs from wobbling. “I’m still terrible at presenting.”
“You were great in the video.”
“Unfortunately,” I pushed him back a bit, and looked up at his eyes to show how serious I was. “I’m not so good live and you clearly never saw my present or else you wouldn’t be saying that.”
He peered into my eyes for a while, probably trying come up with a way to comfort me. Too bad, nothing he could say could make the truth any better. Since he was always in the IB program, he’s only been with brilliant people who are most likely all well-rounded. Imperfection was new to him.
“Well that’s what you’re here to improve.” He smirked, bending his head down and pressing his forehead on mine. “So please go ahead and try to amuse me.”
So now I could add another flaw into my list of flaws because I did not, or perhaps was just terrible at flirting. “I’ll try. It’s better than you being bored.”
Josh laughed at my statement, and parted from me. “Now will you do me the great honor and perform?”
It took me a few seconds to realize that his gesture was a cue for me to recite my spoken word. When I couldn’t get any of the words out, I shrugged and forced a laugh out. “It’s really bad. You don’t want to hear it.”
“I do want to hear it, and do all those other people—they all want to hear what you have to say, and not another excuse,” Josh frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Correction: They want to hear a good poem, from the screwed over girl.” I used air-quotes to emphasis my nickname. “And I’m not screwed over. It’s just a silly gimmick my sister used to draw attention.”
“Attention is good,” he grinned, though I think it was smile of approval to my sister. “Now recite it for me without any tone change or gestures. Just read it simply, and I mean the whole thing.”
I bit my lip, reluctant but finally gave in to his advice. He listened to it intently, staring at me like I was the final math problem that separated him from getting straight as in his report card.
I ended up screwing up, thanks to that, and had to repeat a couple of phrases because they were illegible between my stutters.
“It’s a good poem.” He bobbed his head.
“Good?” I repeated, unsure if that was a compliment or just an empty statement. He didn’t seem satisfied by it.
“Who was your other poem about?” he asked. “Was it about Ricki?”
“Not quite,” I hesitated to give a straight answer because, yes, a part of the poem was inspired by Ricki. His harassment inspired the frustration within me to come out. I couldn’t no, didn’t want to tell Josh that since it hurt my pride enough.
He inhaled, and raked his fingers through his hair. “Did he really screw you over?”
It took me a moment to realize he wasn’t talking about the harassment (he didn’t know. Nobody knew), he was talking about Ricki as if he thought I was interested in Ricki—
“No!” I nearly yelled it, however I didn’t care. I really wanted to make things clear with Josh. “Ricki and I. No. It’s far from that, in fact he--“
“He?” Josh continued the sentence, not wanting to drop it. “He…what?”
“He’s a jerk who trims his nails in front of me in class,” I blabbed, covering up my previous statement. “There’s no way I’d like him after that.”
Josh forced out a laugh, easing the tension a bit.
I continued, sensing a few found confidence, and comfort inside me. “It’s about you, as well. Well…sorta.”
“My sister was addressing you before the video for running of.” I shrugged. “She didn’t really get the memo about the incident.”
“I would’ve picked up on that if I wasn’t…” he paused, waving it off. “Never mind, let’s just get back to work.”
“Wait, you weren’t paying attention?” I grabbed his arm as he turned around. “Why?”
One of hands was in front of his mouth, hiding any sign of what he was thinking. Fortunately, they didn’t cover his cheeks that were reddening by the second. My heart did a summersault, anticipating his answer. “My attention at the beginning of the video was towards you,” he muttered, almost inaudible.
I blushed at the idea of his gaze towards me during the video—the Vlog was at least seven minutes long before my part.
Regrettably, I didn’t push the topic further, partly because the idea made me self-conscious. Did I look away, or was he just staring at me because of a random fly-away? “I need to get some practice.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he agreed, angling his body towards me. “So give the poem another try like it’s assembly, and I’ll give you some tips and a lot of compliments.”
“Forget it. I don’t want your sweet nothings?” I took a step back, unable to contain my grin.
“Sweet nothing?” he echoed back, “who said anything of them meaning nothing?”
“So it’s sweet.” I raised a brow, regretting how I used the phrase.
“Trust me. They’ll be all true.”
Again, I didn’t press on the compliment, and cleared my throat. Why am I more awkward with him than anyone else?
I probably recited my spoken word about a dozen times, and still, Josh seemed enticed each time, like it was the first time he heard it. Sometimes, I’ll trail off, not wanting to bore him, though he just smiles and tells me to start over.
Josh gave me advice on how to present to the audience, and how be comfortable on stage, and shared his views on presenting.
“Just bask in the attention, enjoy the moment” he told me. “And remember I’ll be recording every second of it.”
“Why would you be recording it? It’s just a random poem, a-and,” I wanted to elaborate on how I was the presenting it and I wasn’t very important, yet stopped myself.
“No, can do,” he nearly sang, and a chuckle escaped his lips. “I crossed my heart for your sister. The last thing I want to be is dead and away from you.”
“Why do you have to say stuff like that?” I blurted, out of irritation at how I couldn’t properly respond to his flirtations.
“What do you mean?” To his benefit, he appeared genuinely confused.
“Say sweet stuff out of nowhere,” I explained. “I don’t know how to respond to that, a-and I’m just bad at comebacks because I’m just awkward like that.”
“You do respond,” Josh said, slowly. This time, I knew he was unsure on the right thing to say. “You make the cutest expressions that it’s impossible not to witness it again.”
Okay, he did know the right things to say.
“How do you know how to respond…or say,” I thought out loud.
“You’re asking a guy who had to sweet talk himself out of trouble, remember?” He strode closer to me, and rested his head on my shoulder. “You’re thinking too highly of me, Alana.” He breathed onto my neck. My toes curled as his hands played with the hem of my shirt.
“No,” I told him. “Perhaps…”
I could feel a grin appear on his lips.
“You’re great, Josh. You’re smart, athletic, friendly, charismatic, funny,” I began listing a few of his characteristics.
“You forgot reckless, stupid, and impulsive.”
“Loyal, faithful, thoughtful, helpful,” I made my voice louder to mask over his list.
“I just don’t understand why everyone expects so much from me. They say it’s my family, but Alana, you’ve met my family, and I bet you can tell how dysfunctional we all are. How imperfect.” He raised his head, and met my gaze. “And I can’t help but feel obliged to make people happy…and…”
“It’s because they love you, and that’s why they all want the best for you. I want what’s best for you too.” It hit me that I just told Josh that I loved him, and I was unable to take away the words.
“What is the best for me?” Josh seemed was too concentrated on my answer, that I doubted he noticed my confession.
“Wh-what do you think is the best for you?”
He shrugged. “I just want to be happy and that’s how I am now. That’s why I don’t understand why people want me to change.”
“I don’t want you to change,” I said, my eyes widening. Oh God, I finally understood something about Josh that no one else, not even him saw. Josh didn’t understand see that everyone wanted to support him, all he saw was people wanting him to be someone different, someone, apparently better than he was now. “No one does,” I didn’t know how to explain this to him.
I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him near me. “Don’t try to change, Josh,” I told him. “Just accept the idea that people love you for who you are,” I breathed. “And know that I love you.”
He embraced me back, tightening his arms around me. “Alana…”
My heart responded first by speeding up a notch or two. Blood was rushing to my ear, warming up my head that I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to comprehend his words.
His hands ran through my hair…take deep breathes, I reminded myself.
A bell sound made us both jerk backwards and breathing heavy. The doorbell rang again, and I heard Eve’s footsteps pacing downstairs.
The intercom rang, and Josh reluctantly moved towards it, and pressed a button. “Sara is here,” Eve said.
“Thanks.” He let go of the button, and let out a deep exhale, saying something inaudible.
“I think that’s enough practicing for one day,” I tried to smile, though it was impossible to do anything due to the fact my heart was beating insanely fast.
He turned towards me, opened his mouth then shut it. Finally, he gave me his signature grin.
“Josh?” Sara opened the door, “Oh, Alana.”
I turned my body in her direction, and gave a small wave. “Sara,” I greeted back. Her right wrist was bandaged, spiraling up midway of her arm.
Her gaze flickered through Josh. “I came back like I promised…but I can tell that you’re busy so.”
“No, stay.” I shook my head. “I was just leaving. So, uh, bye.”
I didn’t expect the tension to drop over night so the situation didn’t surprise, nor did it bug me. I trusted Josh, and I understand that Sara and Josh have a strong friendship. It’d be wrong of me to break it, and right now she needed him to support her. Maybe one day, Sara and I will be smiling and looking at one another like old friend, reminiscing about the good old days. That day just wasn’t today.
I excused myself from the room, accidently brushing past Sara as I went out the door. I murmured an apology.
“Wait here,” I heard Josh say from behind me, and his footsteps following behind me. “Alana.” He stepped in front of me, creating a barrier between me and the staircase.
“I got to and help Kathryn prepare for her wedding. She’s trying out dresses today.”
Josh observed me, silently.
“Honest. I’ll call you for our next rehearsal, okay?” I tucked my bangs behind my ear, uncomfortable. What more did he want from me? “Uh, remember to wear a tux for the wedding, or a suit or whatever.”
He leaned forward, until his lips were by my ear and whispered. “I love you, too.”
My ear rung, did I hear that right? I spun around. However Josh was already walking back and I can imagine his cheeks were brightly red.
Joshua
“Sara seems fine,” Eve said, sliding a glass of lemonade on the kitchen counter toward me. “And you seem to be working.”
I shrugged, placing the straw in between my lips and taking a long sip. “I have work to do.”
“What is it?”
“I have to work on a program.”
Eve wasn’t satisfied with the small-talk answer. “What is it on?”
I looked up from my laptop screen to make eye contact with her. I explained to her about the software I was creating, and how it was going to improve the students work efficiency due to the collaboration and community it’ll build. “It’s still a prototype though, and I’m still brainstorming ideas.”
“That doesn’t seem like an assignment a teacher would assign.”
I peered back at the monitor, and tried to debug the coding. “It’s a work in progress for an innovative-idea assignment.”
“I think the assignment is good for you. For one thing, it’s actually making you work.”
“I worked for the other assignments.”
“Fine,” she exhaled. “It’s making you think, and apply your knowledge compared to your other work which you magically finish.”
I snorted.
“That’s quite an idea, young man,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind me. I spun my body around to see an old guy in a suit. He had grayish curls, and a goatee.
“Excuse me for the interruption. I’m one of Mr. Grey’s Clients,” he said, extending one hand towards me. His other hand went into his jacket pocket and pulled out a card. “Here’s my business card. I’m Kevin Turners, CEO of the Turners Software Corporation. You may call me Turner, if you wish. I couldn’t help but overhear the discussion as I wait for him. ”
I accepted his card. “Why are you here?”
“Joshua,” Eve hissed.
“What? It’s a good question. Shouldn’t he be at John’s office instead? ”
The man laughed like I just said a joke. “I’m here to celebrate for my win. I’m an old friend of John.”
“Sorry, for the wait,” Josh said walking towards the man, and then he moved his gaze towards me, and the man, then me again. He groaned. “Don’t tell me you want to sue Josh too. What’d you do, Josh?”
“Nothing,” the man, Turner spoke out for me. “I was just asking this young man to inform me about his software. I’m seeing potential here, though the only question is can this young man, Joshua as this beautiful woman called him, fulfill it. So young man, I ask again, would you please enlighten me?”