CHAPTER 15
Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve. Living in Australia, there was no snow covering the yards, roof tops or roads. Instead, everyone was sweating like crazy under the blistering summer sun.
It was late afternoon, and I was sitting outside on the back decking with Dad and Taylor whilst Becky was inside cooking 'the most perfect Christmas dinner' and therefore didn't want any of us inside for it would ruin the surprise. Dad was sitting at the table, working on a crossword puzzle, whilst I was lying on the couch with my head resting in Taylor's lap. It was a relaxing afternoon, but it was still extremely hot.
I was thinking about tomorrow and what it would bring while Taylor was stoking my face and playing with my hair. For Christmas, when Dad and Becky had asked what I'd wanted, I put on a brave mother's face and asked for things which I could use for the baby. Things like baby furniture, clothes and money to buy these things. They thought that it was a most practical idea, and therefore I knew what they would be giving me for Christmas.
Taylor, on the other hand, had kept his mouth shut whenever I'd asked him. He would always pull his mouth shut and try not to laugh. That then compelled me to keep his present - random decorative items for his car - a secret from him. It didn't really help the situation that he had seen those exact items hidden at the top of my wardrobe. He would pretend that he didn't see them, but I still wanted to surprise him on Christmas Day somehow.
I must have fallen asleep because Taylor was trying to wake me with gentle shakes and the constant repetition of my name. "Nas? Nas?"
I shook my head to rid of the tiredness and slowly sat up from resting my head on Taylor's lap. The sun was setting beyond the mountains, and with daylight savings time, that meant it would be about 8.00pm. I sat up and looked at Taylor through sleepy eyes.
He chuckled lightly and then explained his reasons for awaking me, "I have to go home tonight Nassy. Mum and Dad want me home early morning," I could see in his eyes that he was strongly opposed to his parents' requests, "so I'd better leave now. But, I'll be here at around 10.00am or something to pick you up for Christmas lunch. Afterwards, I can bring you back here, and as your father and Becky have requested, I will share Christmas dinner with you." He said the words; they came in one ear... but continued through and out the other. I'd already heard this countless times, so this information wasn't new to me. It only reminded me that I would have to spend a night alone from Taylor - something I hadn't done since we stayed together the night after the beach.
He could see in my eyes that I didn't want him to go. Dad must have been inside, for Taylor brought his face to mine and kissed me - something he would never do in front of Dad. Dad was only beginning to accept Taylor holding my hand and sleeping in my bed. Becky of course, was fine with it all.
Taylor continued to kiss me, but he didn't proceed the way he had done the other day where the movements had reminded me of Chad. In fact, he hadn't brought up that idea of seeing Chad since that day. I was thankful to that, but I knew he was still going to follow through on his plans.
He pulled away - too soon, of course - and saw me pout. He lightly laughed and pecked me on the lips before saying, "I love you."
"I love you too," I said, breathless, "Do you really have to go?" Although I knew I'd see him tomorrow, the time apart would seem to be forever.
"I do, but honestly, I don't want to. But, this will probably be the last Christmas morning I share with them for a few years," he looked at me as if I knew the reason for that, which I did - me and the baby, "so I thought I'd leave them with a memorable one this year." He kissed my forehead once more before rising from the couch and walking me to the front door. "I'll see you," he touched my nose with his index finger, "tomorrow."
I nodded, and he left after a quick kiss on the lips. I watched as he drove his car out the driveway. Once he was well out of sight, I turned around and faced the front door. I walked through it to begin the worst hours of my life.
* * *
I woke early the next morning. I searched the sheets, hoping that he may have come back, but as I knew, my hands came up empty. Waking those few hours early would make it even more difficult to face the morning.
I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of my naked body on my way to the shower. In simple terms, I looked hideous. My body looked swollen, and the stretch marks would be there forever. I sighed and took an extra long shower.
When I was satisfied with the length of time I'd showered, I shut the water off and reached for a towel. I wiped the fog from the mirror and decided that, since it was still early morning, I would blow dry my hair.
Once my hair was dry, soft and fluffy, I walked back into my room to dress. I decided that since it was Christmas, I would wear nice clothes. Well, that was limited, for there wasn't much to choose from within my maternity clothing. I chose simple, dark blue jeans with a white top that had an abstract pattern across it. It was loose - even for maternity wear.
I looked in my mirror, and figured that a little make-up wouldn't hurt. Honestly, I hadn't worn make-up since my days at Hawthorn Secondary College. Those days, I was a material girl with nothing in life to look forward to. Now, I had a future with Taylor to live up to, but I couldn't help deny that Chad's actions had brought me to that. Without him, I would have never met Taylor. I shuddered at the thought of thanking Chad.
I put a light amount of make-up on and left my hair out. I decided to skip on the jewellery and headed downstairs. It was late enough now that both Dad and Becky were awake, singing Christmas carols. I laughed at the cheesiness of their performances. They noticed my snickering and started wishing me well for the festive season.
"Merry Christmas, baby!" Dad said as he ran over and kissed my cheek.
"Merry Christmas to you too, Dad," I replied, lightened by his cheery mood.
"Happy Christmas Nasettia," Becky rejoiced as she skipped over to me. She gave me a light hug.
"Happy Christmas, Becky," I said, hugging her in return.
"Presents time!" she replied, overjoyed. Dad and I rolled our eyes, but otherwise followed her to the Christmas tree.
Dad had gifted Becky a camera and other technologies. Becky had gifted Dad music CDs and other novelty items. And, like I'd asked, Dad and Becky had given me money to buy baby essentials. I was given three-thousand dollars.
"Dad... Becky... this is too much. I - I can't take this much money," I was overwhelmed by the cheque I held in my hands.
"Don't be silly, Nas. It will get quite expensive. It will help out for that period in which Chad's not paying child-support. And if you think you need more, you just come and talk to us," she smiled warmly, but I couldn't return it for my face was frozen.
Whilst I marvelled over the cheque, I heard the doorbell ring. Dad got up to get it, looking at me strangely. I was woken from my reverie when I heard the sound of an angel reply to my father's greeting at the door.
I got up from my space on the floor and darted through the kitchen to the front door. I saw him standing there - my own precious gift from God. Today, Taylor was very well dressed. He wore a white shirt with pin striping, dark blue jeans, and shiny, white new sneakers.
I only merely glanced at his choice in clothing, for I was too distracted by his presence. I raced over to him, shoved my father out of the way, and hugged him tight. Taylor wrapped his arms around me, and we stood there whilst my father watched from a distance.
"I'll, umm, give you two some privacy," Dad said before moving back into the lounge room.
I reached my neck up so that my face could reach Taylor's. He leant his down and kissed me eagerly. Too soon - again - he pulled away from our reunification.
"Merry Christmas," he said softly, collecting a card off the counter. He handed it to me and I was worried as to what could be gifted in a card - some form of money, no doubt.
"This - This had better not be money, Taylor," my voice was shaking.
He grinned, said, "Just open it Nas," and looked at me with pleading eyes.
I heaved a sigh, and slid my finger under the card's envelope. I opened it, but there seemed to be nothing gifted. I read the card, and found the answer to my question. At the bottom of the card, it read, 'Oh, and for your present, well, you don't get that until you're at my place.'
"Tay," I dragged his name in frustration, "You're going to make me wait that long?"
"Sure am," he smirked before kissing me lightly, "Now, was I under the wrong impression that you had gifted me something?"
I rolled my eyes, "You already know what you got."
"No I don't," he put on such an innocent face that anyone else would have thought he was telling the truth.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the lounge room where Dad and Becky were mucking around. "Merry Christmas, guys," Taylor announced, stopping Dad from tackling Becky.
"Well, a Merry Christmas to you Taylor," Becky said as she walked over to give him a hug.
"Thanks," Taylor said in reply.
I released my hand from his and walked to the Christmas tree. I reached for his gift and walked back to him. "Here," I said, holding the box out to him, "Merry Christmas."
Taylor's next moves had me in shock. He grabbed the box from my hands and sat down on the spot of carpet he'd been standing on. He clapped his hands excitedly and started ripping off the wrapping paper. Was he trying to act like a toddler? He seemed to be.
"Okay, what the hell is with your behaviour?" I said as he ripped a large chunk of wrapping paper.
He smiled, seeming glad that I knew he was acting this way, "Well, it's practice for other Christmas mornings when you're a mummy. And, speaking of such, you are the most stubborn parent!" he said the last sentence with heavy sarcasm.
I rolled my eyes at him, but otherwise played along with his charade. "Oh, what did Santa get you, Tay-Tay?" If he wanted to act like a toddler, he was going to get treated like one.
His response surprised me, "But mummy, Santa's not real," he grinned, waiting to see how I'd respond.
"Of course Santa's real. Don't let anyone tell you that he's not. Who else would bring you presents?"
He only rolled his eyes at me, and otherwise continued opening his gift, less child-like now. Whilst he did so, I went to the stereo and turned the volume of Becky's favourite Christmas carols CD down. By the time I had turned around to walk back, Taylor had fully opened the car seat covers I had got him. I'd picked plain black with orange - his favourite colour - stripes around the edges.
"Nas, thank-you," he said as he stood up and walked to where I was standing. He didn't care that both Dad and Becky were in the room; he pulled me into the circle of his arms and kissed me with excess passion.
Before we could continue much further, Dad came and yanked me away from Taylor. "Okay, enough. Save it for when no one's watching - please." Dad sounded rather disgusted.
"Sorry Anthony," Taylor said, much too politely for my father's ears.
I saw from the corner of my eye Becky scolding Dad. I smiled, but she didn't see the gesture. I walked back over to Taylor and wrapped my arms around his waist. He coiled his arms around me, holding me even closer.
He leant his head down to whisper in my ear, "Are you ready to go?"
"Yep," I replied, moving away from him to say, "Bye, we'll be back tonight," to Dad and Becky.
"Have fun," Becky called as Taylor walked me to the front door. He grabbed the gift I'd given him before exiting the room. He was acting the true gentleman, and so he opened my door for me and everything. Once we were both in the car, he drove out the driveway and towards his house for Christmas lunch.
* * *
After another hot Australian Christmas day, I was completely exhausted. Sitting at the dinner table with Dad, Becky, Taylor, and various brothers and sisters of Dad and Becky, I could feel my eyelids drooping shut.
Taylor excused the both of us from the table, and helped me up the stairs to my bedroom. He supported a lot of my weight, but I still managed to trip on the top step. Taylor caught me before I could injure myself.
We finally reached my room, and I grabbed my pyjamas off my bed, and instantly changed into them. I was too tired to care that Taylor had a full view of my naked body. He behaved himself though.
On my walk to the bed, I accidentally kicked the baby car cradle that Taylor had gifted me. Other than that one obstacle, the walk to bed went smoothly.
I finally reached the end of my mattress, and found Taylor's arms reaching out for me. I took them and found myself curling into his chest. I didn't care that it was too hot for extra body warmth; the previous night spent alone had made me thirst for this.
I finally fell asleep after - for some reason unknown - thinking about how Taylor was thinking to contact Chad. I couldn't even decide which emotion I wanted to show towards this plan.