CHAPTER 18
NICK
Nick woke up to the sounds of birds singing and wind chimes dancing. He could feel the hot morning sun blazing against his bare back, and the wind was coming in through the window screens, leaving little goosebumps on his arms. There was this dull ache that seemed to begin deep in his bones, the remnants of everything he'd felt last night.
He sighed and opened his eyes, but there was no light to greet him, no colors. It was the same darkness, the same nothing, every single day of his life.
It used to bother him. When he was a kid, he used to hate being different and he used to try so hard not act like everyone else, even if that meant doing things that could get him seriously hurt.
His parents did a good job teaching him that he could do anything he set his mind to, but they also made sure he was always safe doing it.
Still, they treated him like they treated their daughters when they were his age. He had chores he needed to do around the house and he could never use his lack of eyesight as an excuse not to do them. When he tripped, he was told to get back up and try again. How many times did he run into walls or trees because he didn't think it was cool to use a cane?
It still bothered him sometimes, he couldn't lie about it. This morning, for example, was one of those times where he wished he could see. He just really wanted to see the face of the beautiful girl that was lying asleep next to him now, her arm draped loosely around his waist.
Moving a little in the bed they shared, Nick let his hand wander up Cat's back, over her shoulder blade and through the mane of hair that'd managed to get pretty tangled up – not a surprise there, considering the number of hours they'd spent getting themselves all tangled up last night. His fingers moved very slowly so as to not yank a strand and hurt her.
He stroked some of the hair from her face and ran his thumb over her jawline. He'd gotten to know her face quite well over the last few months, having memorized all of the dips and curves. Her body was something he wasn't as familiar with, but he was pretty sure he'd have that memorized by the end of the weekend.
Well, he was planning on it anyway.
He was awake for at least ten minutes when he finally began to feel Cat shifting in the bed. Her leg nudged his as she stretched, and she let out a slow, contented sigh when his arms laced around her.
"Hey," he whispered, kissing her neck.
"Hi," she whispered back, twisting in his arms so that they were face to face. He felt her lips against his and despite the knowledge that his breath probably smelled really bad, he kissed her back. He held her a little tighter after that, unwilling to begin the day just yet.
"Did you know that you talk in your sleep?" he murmured after a little while spent in silence.
"I do not," Cat argued, swatting his arm playfully.
"You do, just a little bit," Nick smirked, bringing his thumb and index finger close together to show her what he meant by 'just a bit'. "It's cute," he shrugged.
"Well... you snore! And it's not even that cute," Cat giggled, although the noise quickly turned into a shrill squeal as Nick twisted their bodies around so that he was on top of her. He started tickling her and she burst into uncontrollable, breathless giggles. "Okay! Okay, you're cute! Stop!" she squeaked.
"Damn right, I'm cute," Nick grinned triumphantly, his forehead pressed against hers.
They stayed in bed until the late hours of the afternoon, and Nick got to explore Cat's body all over again, kissing her and touching her absolutely everywhere. The only reason they even got out of bed at all that day was because Cat's stomach started growling so much neither one of them could stop laughing whenever they heard the sound.
Cat went to shower while Nick pulled some jeans on and made his way outside to start up the grill. Not knowing there was a nice little store just a few miles from the campground, Cat had stocked up on enough food for them to last a week. Nick rummaged through the refrigerator and grabbed the things he needed to make grilled avocado, which he would then stuff with salsa and Greek yogurt. When his mother used to make these on camping trips, she'd swap the yogurt for sour cream, but Nick preferred it his way and it was healthier anyway.
Cat took the longest shower, and Nick had a feeling when he went in there later there wouldn't be any hot water left. She came to find him after she was done, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her lips to the middle of his back.
"It smells good," she murmured.
"It tastes fantastic too, I promise," he grinned, draping an arm around her shoulders and tugging her closer.
"I would've never thought to grill avocados," Cat giggled.
"I know, it sounds weird, but trust me, I know what I'm talking about," Nick told her pointedly. "You just cut them in half... remove the seed... I brushed them with a bit of lime juice for some added flavor; my mom doesn't usually do that... she just does the olive oil... She also uses sour cream instead of Greek yogurt, but it pretty much tastes the same and it's healthier. "Now we just put them flesh-side on the grill, wait a couple minutes..." he gestured around the patio. "Add some salt and pepper, then we indulge."
"I feel like I've been indulging way too much with you these last 24 hours," Cat giggled, giving Nick a quick hug before making her way to sit down in one of the patio chairs. "I mean, how are you even keeping up? You're like, a guy... you can't... just... whip it out that often, can you? Or are you just that good?"
The end of her sentence was muffled, probably by her hands. She did that whenever she got embarrassed about something, and Nick was willing to bet her face was flushed.
"I'm just that good," he shrugged.
After eating, Nick and Cat decided to spend some time outside since they hadn't done much of that yet. They exchanged their clothes for swimsuits and went swimming for a while, which was really just another excuse to make out a lot. Cat had such a relaxed, easy-going air about her, like she felt free and without any worries for just a little while.
Nick liked that he could be the one to bring out that side of her... to just make her unwind when her brain was usually wired on the 'mother' frequency.
They got out of the lake and lounged around for a bit, then Cat went back inside to give Nick's parents a quick call to make sure Luke was doing alright. She got to speak to him for a little while and found out that he was having an absolute blast. Nick's dad was showing him how to fly a miniature airplane and tomorrow they'd be going to the park with Adam and Grace.
Luke wanted to talk to Nick as well, so he got his chance on the phone with the little guy too.
"Hey buddy, how's it going?" he grinned into Cat's phone, resting a hip against the counter that was made way too low for his tall frame. It was just too small in general, acting as a very minimal work surface in the kitchenette. You could hardly fit a cutting board on there, which made it difficult to get much done – especially when you took up as much space in a kitchen as Nick usually did. He had a certain organizational system.
It was a good thing he was enjoying the grill so much.
"Grandpa Wilson is teaching me how to fly a real plane!" Luke said excitedly.
Nick's brain stopped functioning for a moment, catching onto that one word: grandpa. When did his dad start letting Luke call him grandpa? Huh. Did Cat know about this? How did she feel?
"A real plane, wow, that's so awesome!" Nick grinned excitedly. He was definitely glad when his voice came out sounding even. "Did you get to see it go real high up?"
"Yes I did! It went so high, and it nearly got caught in a tree! Your dad isn't a very good flyer," Luke answered with a hushed giggle, like he was afraid of somebody listening in other than the two of them.
"Alright bud, I'll let you talk to your mom again. Have fun tomorrow with Adam and Grace, alright? We'll be back to pick you up when it starts to get dark out," he said.
"Bye Nick, love you! See you later!" Luke said excitedly.
Before Nick could say or do anything – not that he would've been able to, considering his mouth had stopped functioning – the little boy decided to hang up, so that when Cat took the phone back all she heard on the other end was dead silence.
"Well, I guess he had better things to do than talk to me again," she giggled.
Nick didn't reply, still stunned. It wasn't even that Luke said he loved him – I mean yeah, that was a huge fucking deal, but it was how easily Nick would've been able to say it back. That kid truly was becoming a huge part of his life, so much so that it terrified him sometimes. It was something he knew he'd have to talk to Cat about soon, especially considering he had absolutely no intention of going anywhere any time fast. It wasn't just that little boy that he loved.
"What?" Cat asked in an amused sort of tone, catching the look on Nick's face.
"It's, uh, nothing," Nick shrugged.
"What did Luke do? Oh my God, he did something didn't he? He got in trouble and now you're not telling me! Nick! What did he do?" Cat squeaked, grabbing his hand. She seemed torn between humor and worry now, like she just wasn't sure if the situation was supposed to be funny.
"He didn't do anything, relax, mama," Nick laughed, managing to reel in his emotions a little. He took Cat in his arms and hugged her close, resting his chin against the top of her head. Cat wriggled curiously in the embrace, clearly not about to leave the situation be. "He didn't do anything. He just said—"
Cat's phone started to vibrate again.
"It's your mom," Cat said quickly to Nick and then unwrapped herself from him so that she could answer. She took a few more steps away from him so that when she spoke again, the sound of her voice was across their little room. "Hi Liv, sorry, Luke hung up on me – yeah, no, everything here is great... ha... uh... yeah, we're having fun..."
Nick shook his head, grinning. He could hear the awkwardness so clearly in Cat's tone when she said they were having fun, and now all he could think about was his mother knowing he was having sex with his girlfriend. Feeling like he'd rather not hear the rest of their conversation, Nick reached for his cane on the table, missing it by a few inches the first time he made a grab for it. He then went and took another beer from the fridge, proceeding out onto the patio.
He didn't keep track of time, so he wasn't too sure how long he'd been sitting on the steps of the patio for. All he did know was that by the time Cat came to join him he'd drained his whole beer.
"Hey, it's getting kind of chilly out here," she murmured, causing Nick to jump. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she added, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.
"It's OK," he answered automatically.
"Your mom is having so much fun with Luke. She called your sister, asked her to bring Adam and Grace over for a sleepover, so she's gonna have all three of them tonight," Cat explained to him in a conversational sort of tone, completely unaware of the feelings Nick was struggling to keep to himself much longer. He was like that, the kind of man to keep everything bottled up so that people wouldn't worry about him.
"That's great, she loves having kids around the house," Nick smiled.
"Luke seems to be having a lot of fun too, which is great..." Cat went on a little thoughtfully. "I was kind of worried when we left him there at your parents'... He hasn't been too good about me leaving him behind at other people's houses, after the whole James situation last Easter... But he seems alright, and obviously your mom is great... and Luke likes your dad a lot..."
"Cat," Nick murmured. His heart started to hammer against his ribs, but there was purpose on his face when he reached to lace his fingers through Cat's. He squeezed her hand lightly and took a deep breath.
"What?" Cat asked. There was apprehension in her voice.
Nick twisted his body around so that he was facing her more fully. He cupped the side of her face with his hand while the other reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you," he whispered.
Cat didn't speak for the longest time, and after what felt like a full minute had gone by, Nick felt the need to speak again – if only to fill the very unbearable silence. God, he hated silence.
"And I love your son... like... like he's my own flesh and blood. I know, it sounds insane, we've only been together for three months... but I do... I love you, Catherine Logan, and it scares the shit out of me," he told her desperately.
Cat still wasn't speaking.
Nick touched her face, trying to gauge her expression because her lack of words was scaring him. His fingers brushed against her lips. They were parted, like she was trying to come up with something to say but couldn't. His fingers touched her cheeks and he swore under his breath. They were wet, she was crying.
He should've kept his mouth shut, not said a word. He had a habit of being a little too impulsive for his own good sometimes.
Damn it!
"Cat," he began, unsure what to say to fix this mess. Should he take the words back? Blame it on the beer or on the adrenaline of the last day they'd spent together? What if he didn't want to take it back?
"I love you too," Cat said finally, her words broken by a choked sob.
"Really?" Nick asked in disbelief.
"Yes, really," Cat giggled.
Oh.
Nick ran his fingers over her tears, realizing they were tears of joy. Her lips found his first and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him so that he could kiss her more properly.