*****
Levi's PoV
After what happened earlier at the cliff, we went back to where we came from earlier, walking with our hands still connected. When the place is on sight, I saw them lighting up a bonfire. Hanji saw us and waved, telling us to hurry up. Eren grinned widely and walked faster, dragging me with him. Looks like the brat's excited. While making our way, Mikasa met us halfway, bags of marshmallows in her hand. Eren's face lit up when he saw it. He really can be a child.
Mikasa nudged my side which made me tore my gaze away from Eren. I looked at her and she raised an eyebrow at me. "Where did the both of you went? You're just suddenly gone."
I scoffed and I heard Eren chuckled beside me. "Well, if you paid attention to us when we excused ourselves earlier, maybe you wouldn't wonder why we're gone."
Mikasa rolled her eyes and bumped me lightly. We reached the others and saw variety of junk foods which consists of chips, sodas in can, bars of chocolate, and other unhealthy life shortening shits.
They all sat down on the sand circling the bonfire and I reluctantly did so. If not for Eren's tugging to my hand, I wouldn't do it. When my ass made contact with the ground, Eren wrapped his arm around my waist and pecked my lips.
"No PDA, please." Hanji's tone is playful but it didn't save them from earning a glare from me. Eren, acting like the matured teen he is, sticked his tongue out at them.
"Maybe you should get yourself a lover. Levi's not up for being a choice, though."
I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder. Hanji's about to retort but I glared at them before I spat a not-so polite "Shut the fuck up."
They raised both of their hands in the air. I huffed and leaned to Eren, my head resting on his shoulder. He removed his arm around my waist. I grabbed it before it was completely removed and I looked at him, giving him a questioning look. He chuckled and shook his head, placing a kiss on type tip of my nose before answering, "I'll just roast some marshmallows for us."
"I don't want it."
"Why?"
"Too sweet."
"Well, I like it. And you're going to eat some whether you like it or not. You can't spend your night with a bonfire without having a taste of roasted marshmallows."
Ignoring my protest, he proceeded making it. He sticked a piece of marshmallow to a stick and placed it over the fire and after a short time, he took it away and blew on it before placing it near my mouth. I just looked at it before returning my gaze to him, not complying to his request. We stayed like that for a few minutes, none of us giving in. He sighed before he closed his eyes and shit, he used my weakness to his advantage. He looked at me with wide, pleading eyes, making him look like a fucking puppy. A cute puppy with adorable eyes, that is. Shit again, I used the word adorable. This damn brat.
Giving in to his wishes, I reluctantly opened my mouth which made him smile. He moved the roasted marshmallow and I can't help but smell the sweetness of it. Just when it made contact with my mouth, he suddenly pulled away. I glared at him and he smiled. "It tastes better with melted chocolate."
He reached for a container beside Armin and opened it, revealing a good amount of melted chocolate. He dipped half of the marshmallow before offering it to me again. I held his wrist this time just to make sure that he won't make fun of me. I ate it and in the instant it made contact with my taste bud, the bittersweet taste of chocolate and sweetness of sugar exploded in my mouth. Somehow, the slight bitterness of the chocolate neutralized the overly sweet taste. He grinned at me widely, carefully watching me while I'm chewing and swallowing it. I put my hand on his face, pushing it away.
"Fucking happy now?"
He moved my hand away from his face before placing a kiss on it. "Uh huh, so what do you think? It tastes great, right?"
"It's okay. I just don't have a thing for sweet things. It's making me cringe."
"Well, the fact that you ate one is enough for me. Now, can you make me some?"
"Make you some what?"
"Roasted marshmallows, duh--" I glared at him and pointed the stick at his face. I'm the only one who's allowed to sass. He swallowed and let out a nervous chuckle. "Make me some roasted marshmallows, please?"
Rolling my eyes, I complied. I did what he did earlier except that I didn't blow it and just stuffed it in his mouth. He cried out in pain and I can't stop myself from chuckling. His face is so red, tears prickling on his eyes as he tries to blow away the heat. The others also laughed at the "entertaining" sight caused by Eren. He swallowed it before glaring at me. "You're an ass."
I casually shrugged and smirked at him. "I fucking thought that you knew that by now."
I stood up and went to the table to take a bottle of water. "Oi, Eren." He looked at me and I threw the bottle at him. He caught it and opened the cap before drinking. I went back to his side and sat down. "Are you okay?"
"You're really asking me that?"
"Just fucking answer the damn question or you'll be roasted yourself."
"Yes, I'm okay. I'd rather not be roasted though."
We all returned to our own business and I continued feeding him. A smile never left his face and the sight brought warmth to me like it always did.
Throughout the whole time I fed Eren, I can feel someone's stare burning holes through me. I looked around and saw everyone busy talking with each other and I thought that I'm only being a paranoid shit— until I saw who is staring at us. At me.
Erwin.
I raised an eyebrow at him and it seems to cut him out of his trance and quickly looked away. Why the hell is he staring?
"Levi?"
I looked up at Eren and saw him giving me a worried look. Shit, I spaced out. "Are you okay?"
I gave him a small smile despite the questions running in my mind. "I'm okay. I'm just thinking."
He accepted my answer although reluctantly. I continued to feed him again while I tried to clear my mind from any thoughts concerning why Eyebrows is staring. I guess I need to talk with him later.
After all of us decided to call it a day, we cleaned up our messes. When the others are making their way to the house, I held Eren's arm. "Wait."
He looked at me with a confused look on his face. "Why?"
"You go ahead inside. I'll stay here for a little."
He looked reluctant but he complied, kissing me on my forehead. "I'll wait for you."
He walked away and I proceeded with my plan when he already entered the house. I walked a few meters before I saw him, sitting at the shore. I walked closer until I'm just a foot away from him.
"Oi, Erwin."
He flinched before he craned his head to look at whoever it is who called him, eyes widening for a fraction when he saw me. He immediately returned his normal composed expression. He stood up and faced me, making me scowl at the big difference between our heights.
"Levi, what are you doing here? Eren's already inside."
"You don't need to fucking tell me that and besides, there's something I want to talk about."
He nodded. "What is it?"
"I'll just get straight to the point. I saw you staring at me earlier. Care to tell me why? Don't try to make up some shitty fucking excuses because I saw you earlier. Tell me the fucking reason."
He started a staring competition between us and like fucking hell I'm going to back down. If this is what I need to do to make him speak his goddamn mind, then so be it.
After a few minutes of silence doing nothing but staring and him pondering whether he'll tell me or not, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he opened his eyes, a hesitant smile was formed on his lips.
"I really can't hide anything from you, huh?"
"No. Now answer me."
He sighed again and looked down. He then looked at me straight in the eyes.
"I know that we already got this over and done with and I already told myself that I'll forget about you but, Levi, I can't. I tried to, I swear to God, but I can't. I just can't do it even if it's for saving myself. My feelings for you never changed. I still... I still love you, Levi."
I stared at him dumbfounded. My eyes are wide, my throat is dry and my breath was caught in my lungs. I searched for any hint of him lying or making fun of me but all I saw is longing and hurt. It's like a fucking bucket of ice cold water was poured over me when realization hit me and is suddenly replaced by the shitty feeling of guilt.
The look on his face became too much to take and I quickly looked away. "We already talked about this." My voice came out just barely above a whisper but I hoped that he heard it.
My thoughts was confirmed when he took a step forward and reached out a hand. I took a step back and slapped his hand away. I don't want to treat him like this, like he's some kind of an unforgivable criminal, but I can't refrain from doing so. Eren's already doubting himself and it won't fucking help him if he discovers this.
"I told you, Levi. I really did everything to erase this but it never left. Every time I see you, it gets stronger. Don't you believe me?"
I threw my hands up in the air and let out an exasperated grunt. "I do, Erwin! I fucking believe you! But believing you doesn't change a single thing! Eren's already doubting himself and what you're telling me wouldn't help him. Not even a little."
My breaths come in short with just a little amount of air. I can feel my blood flowing through me in rage and guilt. I'm fucking mad at myself for being such a useless shit. I can't do anything for him.
I calmed myself by taking deep breaths. I mustered enough courage to look him straight in the eye, the hurt look on his face made my chest heavier with guilt. "I'm sorry."
He looked like he wanted to cry. His eyes glossed over and I can feel the overwhelming pain that's practically flowing out of him. This moment makes me want to just curl into a fucking ball and blocked every goddamn thing out but I can't. This isn't about me. It's about Erwin, and his feelings that is going to be rejected for the second time. All of this is just too fucking unfair for him.
"I'm sorry."
I know that saying sorry won't change anything, but if it'll help ease the pain I'm causing him, ease the guilt that's taking over me, I'll do it. It's a selfish thing to do, but there's nothing left for me to do.
I heard him chuckled in a way that's void of any humor and he shook his head. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I already prepared myself for this when I realized that I still love you so there's no one left to blame but me. Don't be sorry, Levi."
He took a step forward until he's just a few inches away from me. "Sorry."
He pulled me into a hug and I didn't resist. I just left my arms hang beside me as his thick arms wrapped around me. "It's okay. I won't bother the two of you since I can see how happy he makes you. I'll just let you know that I'm always here whenever you need me."
He tightened his grip around me before he muttered a silent "I love you." He broke the hug and gave me one last smile before he left, leaving me alone by the beach, feeling myself drowning despite not being in the ocean. Leaving myself drowning in my guilt.
"I'm sorry."
*****
Author's Note
Hey, guys! Sorry for not updating! I've been very busy and will be very busy for the next weeks. So updates will come slow.
Moving on, I hope that you liked this chapter. I would love to hear your thoughts :) (This isn't proof read, sorry.)
Finally, this book already has more than 1.9k reads and 200 votes! Thanks for the support! I hope that you're enjoying everything I wrote.
'Til next time, then!