[lowkey this is one day after the last chapter and in
taehyung's pov but only lowkey okey.]
"why didn't you tell me?"
i was expecting to come home to an empty house. instead, there areum was, sprawled across my navy blue bedding.
after the initial surprise of finding her there, i let out a breath and made my way over with a ruffle of my hair. i fell back onto the bed beside her and smiled, cocking my head innocently.
"tell you what?"
"that you're being abused."
abused?
i sighed. i knew areum would do this. but i guess it's my fault. if i had actually checked to make sure the videochat was muted, she wouldn't know about ahsung's temper tantrum. damn, how much stupider can i get?
guess i really am a dope.
i mean, i didn't want areum to see that. i didn't need her to know anything more about ahsung than she already had, but my little slip up cost me that privilege. now she would never stop prying. neither of them would.
except ahsung usually pried her way into my business out of a place of jealousy; areum, she did it out of a place of genuine care. looking her over now, it wasn't that hard to see. because i had never been with a serious areum, not even once. but she wasn't laughing now.
not smiling. not even being sarcastic.
i shifted uncomfortably, rolling over so i wouldn't have to look at her anymore.
"because i'm not." i sighed, "her hitting me was a one time thing. most of the time it's just yelling. she's just a bit snappy is all."
"no, she has anger issues."
"it's not that big a deal."
i felt her fingertips against the skin of my wrist, peeling the sleeve of my sweatshirt back until it was cuffed at my bicep. once or twice i winced. my skin was still tender from the night before. i still didn't turn around.
"there are bruises all up and down your arms, and you mean to tell me it's not that big a deal?"
"pretty much," i chuckled.
she let my sleeve go and i rolled the fabric back down. with a yawn, i sat up on the edge of the bed and peeled my pants off until i was in nothing but boxers and my sweatshirt. maybe she would get the memo and leave. because if she was going to be a bother about ahsung, i didn't want to talk.
areum didn't move though.
i still wasn't facing her, but nothing kept me from feeling her unsure gaze settling on my back. it was becoming irritating now. i wanted her to go. not that i was annoyed with her per say; i was glad she cared. but i was more annoyed at even the thought of talking about the complications of my relationship. i wasn't in the mood.
"you're not you anymore, you know that?"
i felt her weight shift on the bed, then her legs around me from behind. her head settled at the nape of my neck and her cheek pressed against my back. the flyaways of her makeshift bun tickled my skin wherever my sweatshirt couldn't cover it. last were her hands around my stomach, and the heat signature of her body pressed against mine.
i liked the close contact. but i knew where this was going, and so i rolled my eyes.
"you don't sound like yourself. i was wondering why. now i know," she muttered.
i pinched my nose bridge. slowly, her words were driving me up the wall. she could be such a mom sometimes, nagging and nagging even when i insisted i was alright. she wasn't wrong for caring - to be fair, ahsung and i's relationship wasn't all that picturesque - but god, she's dragging it.
abuse? is she serious?
"i'm a guy, areum. i can't get abused," i scoffed.
"so you think because you're a boy it can't happen to you too?"
"pretty much."
"that's interesting."
my brow twitched. i found myself taking personal offense at the mere implication that she didn't believe me, and my breath swelled in my chest.
"i'm not being abused, jesus christ!"
i snapped. it came out as more of an agitated chuckle than an outburst.
"it's not a joke!"
"oh my god," i said in an extended groan, "she's a girl, okay? if she wants to take her anger out on me, let her! it's just anger, she doesn't mean to hurt me, and i could defend myself if i wanted to."
areum froze. when she moved again, i felt her warm breath ghost on my neck and her body detaching from mine.
"that makes no sense."
somehow, i just couldn't look back at her, but i imagined that she was sitting criss-cross on my navy sheets, the way she does at her desk in class because she's small enough to make both legs fit on the seat.
"i'm serious. guys can't get abused because women can't be aggressors." my eyes rolled subconsciously. hers did too. we're too alike sometimes.
"hmph," she sneered, "that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard you say."
"well, i've said dumber."
"you've said sillier, not dumber. you aren't dumb. but what you said just now, it was definitely stupid." areum preached.
"... ouch."
"it's the truth. but hey, i know it hurts your feelings when you get called a dope. sorry for calling you that all those times."
her voice seemed to shrink into her stomach the more she spoke. she didn't have to feel that way about it, she didn't need to care so much. my situation with ahsung was problematic, but not this deep. she's only stressing herself out by thinking this way. stressing herself out over me was like stressing herself out over nothing.
"don't be. ahsung calls me stupid, retarded, and useless so much it doesn't even bother me anymore." i yawned.
was it odd that those words stung more than my bruises?
nonetheless, i was smiling again. forced, of course, but i was tired of the heavy emotions dragging her and i down. my next move was to fall beside her on my bed, and look her in the eye for once.
not many people have the privilege of getting this far with their crush, of laying down and talking daily and being best friends. but i was one of the few. and to be honest, in the very few moments that i became lost in the moment and realized she was also still my crush, she made my heart do some edm shit. it's hard to wrap my head around.
but all i know is it's fuckin lit.
so with my lips turned upward and my tongue on my teeth, i chuckled.
"ahsung would kill me if she saw us now."
"i would kill her before she could even lay a hand on you." areum answered. i sucked my teeth and my face returned to a frown.
seriously?
"it's not that deep, kiddo." i nudged her, "plus, i deserve it. i've been a fuckboy lately, to you and her both."
"the last part is true. but that doesn't mean you deserve it." she shook her head, her bun falling loose as she looked up at my ceilings. i watched expectantly.
"why are you still with her if she abuses you?"
"it's not abuseeee." i drawled, rolling over, "she's a nice girl."
areum scoffed. i smirked.
"and i know you won't believe that since you only ever see the bad side of her, but sometimes she just does and says things before she thinks them through lately. she's still a good person. i think that side of her is still in there somewhere."
"you need to break up with her."
so hardheaded.
"why?" i teased, "do you want to date me that bad?"
"nah, bighead. you just shouldn't settle for anything less than what you're worth."
i shut my eyes.