THE REPLACEMENT VOCALIST
written by MAIYUKI
Minsan mapapaisip ka na lang talaga kung ano ba talaga ang para sa 'yo. Sabay mapapatanong...tama pa ba ang ginagawa ko?
"Okay Cloud. Tayo na ang magpe-perform after them," Rain gestured to the band na kasalukuyan ay nagsisimula ng tumugtog sa may labas ng stage. "Anything you want to say? Pep talk?"
"Why are you asking me?" He answered incredulously. Tapos maya-maya pa ay nakita kong nakatingin na siya sa akin.
Ugh. I got a bad feeling about this. I saw him open his mouth at dahil pakiramdam ko alam ko na ang sasabihin niya, or may ideya ako kung anong balak niyang sabihin, ay pinangunahan ko na siya.
"I don't do pep talks, Cloud."
Cloud immediately scowled. Tapos napansin kong nakatingin na rin sa akin yung tatlo pang lalaki
Lightning with his one eyebrow raised in a challenge
Storm glaring at me impatiently
And then Rain looking at me expectantly as if he's hoping that I'll hang the stars for them...or well, give a "pep talk"
Finally my eyes landed on Cloud Stephen Walker again.
He's giving me the I-am-waiting look. Sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin.
"That's a great idea, Hailey. You're basically the vocalist. It's your job to actually use your voice~" excited na imik ni Rain
Inilipat ko sa kanya ang masama kong pagkakatitig pero hindi natinag ang loko. Buset.
"Unheard Voices! One minute prep guys and then you're up!" the backstage manager, na kanina pa inaayos ang mga performers, suddenly announced.
Nakatingin pa rin sa akin yung apat at naghihintay.
"Just say a small something-something tapos yun na 'yon."
"Gagawin mo 'din naman bakit hindi mo na lang gawin agad."
"Hailey. Kaya mo 'to. Even a few words are okay. Please."
Then it's him and his black orbs again.
"Come on, petty Hailey. Bilisan mo na lang at magsisimula na tayo." Okay na sana kaso bigla pa niya akong inismidan.
Ughhhhhhhhh this guy is pissing me off.
"FINE!" I finally relented. Rain let out a whoop while Lightning and Storm just let out a relieved and exasperated sigh, accordingly.
Si Cloud? He looked at me with his signature "I-told-you-so" face and I resisted the urge to punch his still smirking face.
Kaso 'di pwede. Maari pa namin gamitin ang itsura niya para makahakot ng audience.
Four expecting pair of eyes meet my own, again.
Sigh.
Let's just get this over with.
I took one last deep breath to calm my nerves before I open my mouth and say the first words that comes to mind.
"I still do not know you as well as I know my best friend, or even my family. But I do know one thing: We all have things that we want to say na hindi natin basta-bastang masabi sa kahit kanino. Some things that we can't convey but we want to. Mga bagay na nais nating malaman ng ibang tao tungkol sa atin, or mga bagay na gusto nating malaman ng iba to aid them in their own battles. That's why we're doing this," I paused, then looked at them. There I saw how focused they are with every word na lumalabas sa bibig ko. The way their eyes look at me with understanding and a softness that I didn't even expect na magagawa ni Storm.
And then it completely sinked in. We really are in this together. And this gave me even more confidence to continue what I truly want to say since I decided to say 'yes' to their proposition. So, I continued.
"We, different as we are with each other, want to be heard. We want to stand up for what we're fighting for. We want to tell the world who we are and that we exist. Among the billions of people living in this world, WE ARE HERE. This might be the first step and we're only in the starting line. Matagal pa ang ating lalakbayin. Mahaba ang laban. But, I know that we can do this. Kaya natin mag-iwan ng marka. Kaya natin maibahagi sa mundo ang ating kwento. And by the end of this journey, I know that we will be heard!"
After my statement, agad na nilagay ni Rain ang kamay niya sa gitna ng circle na ginawa namin. One by one, we put our right hands on top of each other.
"Unheard Voices, on three" he exclaimed. "...one, two three!"
"UNHEARD VOICES!"
Matapos 'non ay natawa na lang kami sa mga pinaggagawa namin. Ang drama. Akala mo kung saan sasabak. Akala mo may giyera. But as we exchange laughters and soft glances with each other, naramdaman ko na parang gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Na yung nerbyos that I've been trying to ignore started to disappear. I feel confident. I really feel like I can be myself.
I know I'll never be my sister, that much is true. I'll always be me. Simple Hailey Estarossa. The girl who lives in the shadow of her sister.
And maybe being a replacement to her is all I would ever be. That the moment na ma-clear na siya for singing...she can take back her position anytime she wants.
I may have found my place, but even this opportunity of a home is temporary
But we know that not everything is made to last.
So why do we not just risk it and take the leap anyway?
"Unheard Voices, you're up!"
Seconds after that, natapos na ang nagpe-perform sa may stage at tinawag na kami ng stage manager na pumunta sa labas at pumwesto na.
I ended up trailing at the back with Cloud.
"Okay na?" I asked, then turned to look at him.
A small smile. "Okay lang."
That's equivalent to You Did A Good Job, coming from this guy so you can't blame me if I felt giddy after hearing those words.
Walang flashing signs that will tell you to go where your right path is.
But I'll tell you what.
Just walk with your head held high.
You just need to keep walking and one day?
One day, you'll surely to find it.
I just need to keep walking, and one day? I'm sure I'll find it.
As I stood in that stage, and look at the crowd in front of us, I felt calm. Maybe because I know that Storm is just to my right and Rain is to my left. Nasa likod ko si Lightning and Cloud? Cloud's actually standing beside me with a comfortable distance between us.
"Hello everyone! We're Unheard Voices!" Cloud started.
I grinned.
I'm not alone.
"And we're here to let our voices be heard!"
And we will be heard.
"One, two, three, go!"
I am Hailey.
And through certain events I still have a hard time processing, I somehow ended up becoming some band's vocalist.
And what made it even more messed up?
I have to play with my sister's old band mates.
Oops.
☆▪☆▪☆
unedited 1/27/20