Brandon
Two days. It had been two days since I told her I loved her. Since I went too far and scared her. Since I ruined everything. I hadn't seen her. She still texted me, but I knew she was freaked out. How could I be so stupid? I slapped my forehead in disgust. I couldn't just give up though because I wasn't lying I really did love her. I loved her. Three words I hadn't uttered to anyone besides my family in my entire life. I needed to make it right. I decided to go to the bookstore and talk to her. Try and let her know I didn't mean to pressure her. She didn't have to say it back.
When I walked into the bookstore I scanned it and didn't see her. I did see Tim, the guy who threaded my privates if I hurt her, and that made me nervous.
"Brandon." he stated, his expression unreadable.
"Hello sir." I babbled like a high school kid meeting the girlfriends dad for the first time.
"Let's talk in my office shall we?" He motioned to the back of the store. "Kelvin can you watch the store for a minute?" He said to a kid shelving some books.
"Sure thing" the kid answered.
I followed him into his office and be sat behind his desk and he motioned for me to sit in the chair across from him. Now I felt like I was in the principle's office. I was terrified, and it I didn't know how to handle it. I had never cared about any parents of any of my girlfriends. Then it dawned on me that it really mattered, because Alex mattered.
"Relax son. I'm not gonna yell at you." He softly chuckled.
I relaxed a bit, but not much. "So what do you want to talk to me about?" I muttered.
"You tell me. I know something happened, but she won't tell me. She keeps saying everything is fine. That you didn't break up that you guys are good. But I can tell she's bothered by something."
"Ummm well I..." I stuttered. How do I tell him? Would he be mad?
"Just spit it out. I can't help you if you don't tell me." he insisted.
"You want to help me?" I asked quite shocked.
"Of course. You've put a smile on her face that I've never seen before. She is finally acting her age, and I think it's incredible." He smiled.
I returned the smile. He really loved her. Well here goes nothing.
I took a deep breath "I told her I loved her." I closed my eyes and held my breath expecting a blowout.
"Ohhh." he said after a few agonizing moments. "And do you?"
I let out my breath and looked at him confused.
"Love her?" He continued.
"Oh." I said finally understanding him. Well I had come this far might as well tell him the truth. "Yes I do."
"Well okay then. Well first you have to understand how scared she must be right now. I know she told you what happened to her. What you don't know is that her experience with that monster is her only social experience."
I nodded. I knew this.
"I don't think you get it. She hasn't been on a date, she hasn't even gone out with a female friend because she doesn't have any. She has no idea how relationships of any kind work because the only relationship she has had was one full of abuse. She's never had a first crush kiss or first date or first anything else for that matter. So to go from first boyfriend to first love in a matter of days must have been terrifying."
I was shocked. All I could do was put my head in my hands. I never thought of that. Then memories of her at my house came flooding back. I should have took things much slower.
"Things aren't going to be easy, so if you are just gonna give up and move on if things get tough then I suggest you leave now. She doesn't need any more pain." His voice cracked.
"I'm not going anywhere." I insisted.
He gave me a big smile "Well alright then. If I know my girl she's either at home or visiting Jenny at the cemetery." He checked his watch. "Probably at home it's getting late. Go talk to her. I wish I had some advice for this part, but your guess is as good as mine. You remind me of me when I first met my wife. Already willing to apologize for anything just to make her feel better" he chuckled.
"Thanks." I stuck out my hand and we shook.
"Good luck." he added.
I headed out and picked up pizza on the way, plain cheese with feta, her favorite. I was shaking with nervousness. A few days ago this would have surprised me because I have always been cool and collective with the ladies, but now I realize that this is the only time I felt I had something to lose.
I got there and hoped she would be home. I walked up the three flights of stairs. Somehow I didn't think that she was going to jump into my arms like the first time I was here. I took a deep breath and knocked. A few moments later I heard movement. Her peeking through the peep hole most likely. I heard her open the door and sighed a sigh of relief.
"Oh Brandon I'm so sorry." she threw her arms around me and started to cry.
"Shhh don't cry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I screwed up and I am sorry." I wasn't expecting this, but she felt wonderful in my arms.
"Oh no I'm a foolish girl who..." She hiccuped. "Wait is that pizza?"
I laughed and nodded "Cheese with feta."
She wiped her eyes "Let's eat and talk." she said and I followed her in.
We sat at her table and I opened the box. I discovered she only would eat pizza out of the box. She was so cute.
She dug in and I decided I couldn't wait to tell her how sorry I was.
"I'm really sorry Alex. I went way too fast. I couldn't help myself you are so beautiful. That's no excuse though. You have had an awful experience and I took advantage of your vulnerability. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I swear I will take things as slow as humanly possible from now on even it kills me. I don't want to lose you."
She had a tear running down her cheek "I thought I had lost you." she looked down "I felt so foolish. You have had women who know what they are doing and can satisfy in ways I have no idea about. I thought after you saw that, you never wanted to see me again, and that broke my heart. How could you possible love me?"
"Oh Alex. You are special. Yes you aren't as experienced as the women I have been with in the past, but I can honestly say with one hundred per cent certainty that none of them have ever made me feel the way you do. You have a big heart, you're funny, smart and incredibly beautiful. I'm sorry I dropped the 'l' word before you were even close to being ready, but I don't take it back."
She looked up me with her gorgeous blue eyes "You still love me?"
"With all the pieces of my black heart."
She came over and sat in my lap and kissed my lips with a fierceness that made my body yearn, but I kept my arms wrapped around her and kissed her back hopefully showing her how amazing she was.
We cuddled and watched tv until she fell asleep in my arms. She didn't say she loved me back, and although it disappointed me a little bit I was okay with it. She was in my arms again and that's all that mattered. I put her to bed and left her a note telling her to call me tomorrow.
I would have stayed but I meant what I said, slow as possible, and I couldn't sleep next to her just yet. On my way down the stairs my phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Brandon?"
"Yes who's this?"
"Officer John Hall."
Did he really need to say officer? "What do you need officer?" Emphasizing officer with a smile.
"Ya I know I feel like a dork saying it too, but this is official police business so it's protocol."
Made sense, why was he being so nice? "Fair enough. What's up?"
"Is Alex with you?"
Why would that matter? I would just tell her anyway. "No. I'm just leaving her place and getting in my car. Why?"
"Good. There's been a development in your case. We tracked the truck that ran you over. It was stolen and the license plates were also stolen."
"Well that sucks, so a dead end?" I was kind of bummed they couldn't find out who did this.
"Well not really. We found the truck abandoned on a dirt road outside of the city. We finger printed it, and it took time to get the results and they matched the prints of a suspect in a sexual assault charge that happened earlier this year.". He trailed off.
"Well who's are they?"
"Brandon. They belong to Corey Klaassen."
I felt sick. "Oh no. Alex..."