CHAPTER 16
CAT
Over the next month and a half, Cat found herself getting more and more used to having Nick around. The fact that she was automatically turning on the descriptive video service on the TV now, even when Nick was at his own apartment, was proof enough.
He came over on Saturday after Amanda's baby reveal to help her put Luke's new crib together. They spent a whole afternoon just hanging out in Luke's bedroom. Cat sat cross-legged on the floor, reading Nick the instructions while he screwed in the parts, so agile with his hands that Cat decided it wasn't his first time working a screwdriver.
Luke was particularly excited about everything that was going on. More than once he claimed that he was a big boy, eagerly reminding Nick that it was his new bed they were putting together and that he wouldn't need his crib anymore. The little boy even brought out his toy toolbox so that he could help out, and while Cat realized her son was being in the way more than anything, Nick never once got impatient with him.
As March eased into April, it became almost a routine to have Nick over for dinner. On weekends they sometimes even went grocery shopping together, arguing about what they felt like eating that week.
One night in early May, Cat glanced up from the soapy dishwater in the sink and caught sight of her boyfriend and her son playing with building blocks in the living room.
She smiled to herself, feeling so incredibly overwhelmed by the happiness she was feeling as of late. It was becoming so easy to imagine having the man in her future and in her son's future. She loved spending time with him and when he wasn't around she definitely felt his absence. Most important of all, Nick was so really good with Luke. That made all of the difference in the world to her.
"Alright, time for your bath handsome and then bedtime," Cat said as she put down the last plate onto the drying rack.
"I could use a bath," Nick said in a sexy sort of voice that made Cat's whole face turn bright red. Her eyes darted over to Luke, but he was too focused on building up his block tower to care.
Although there'd been some pretty steamy make out sessions over the last month involving some pretty intense under-the-top action, Cat and Nick had yet to actually take things to the next level when it came to their physical relationship. It was getting a little frustrating whenever Nick respectfully pulled away whenever things got just a little too far, especially considering Cat was pretty sure she was ready to sleep with him.
How was she supposed to broach the subject? He wasn't doing it. Was there something wrong with her? Was he not attracted to her enough? He seemed pretty into it whenever they made out on the couch...
These doubts and fears about her attractiveness and self-worth seemed to be becoming more and more frequent the more serious things got. She wasn't used to feeling like this! Sure, she'd never been oozing with self-confidence, but she'd never dated a guy before where sex had even been an issue.
"You goof, I wasn't talking to you," she giggled, running her fingers through his hair as she passed by him to pick up her son. Luke started to whine the second his feet left the floor and a blue block had been coaxed out of his hand. "I was talking to this little guy right here... come on, you ready for bath time?" she cooed.
"And story time?" Luke asked.
"And story time," Cat answered.
"Can Nick do story time?" Luke asked.
"I don't know, does Nick wanna do story time?" Cat asked, her gaze falling onto Nick. He was still seated on the floor with his back against the couch and his long legs stretched out in front of him.
"Yeah, sure, Nick will do story time," Nick chuckled.
Cat was surprised at how quickly Luke went through his evening routine. He didn't argue once when she told him it was time to finish playing and get out of the bath, and he brushed his teeth and went potty like a champ. When the time came to actually get him into bed, he bolted into his bedroom and got right under the covers.
"That kid, I swear," Cat giggled, wrapping her arm around Nick's waist and leading him down the hallway, although at this rate he didn't really need her help at all. He knew her apartment pretty well, enough not to need his guide dog or his cane anymore, which was probably another sign of just how much time he spent at her place. "I don't think you can ever leave now, he never gets into bed that fast," she told him jokingly.
Story time with Nick was a lot more fun than just regular story time; at the expense of her ego, Cat was fully ready to admit it. She didn't have any children's books in Braille, so Nick resorted to making up his own story on the fly. He was so hilarious, making all of these cute little voices to go with each of the characters he made up. Luke was just absolutely enthralled, and Cat was a giggly mess, trying to stifle her laughter so that her son would get somewhat sleepy.
"Say another one, Nick!" Luke said excitedly when the story came to a close and the hero had saved the day.
"Not tonight, okay buddy? You have daycare in the morning, you need to go to sleep," Cat said with a small smile, hating the disappointed look on her son's face but still standing her ground.
"Can you tell me another story tomorrow, Nick?" Luke murmured in a defeated sort of voice, wriggling a little in his sheets in an attempt to get more comfortable.
"Yeah, if your mom wants me to," Nick answered.
"She wants you to!" Luke grinned.
When Cat turned off the light and closed the door a few minutes later, she let out a sigh that Nick didn't miss. "Come on," he whispered. He reached for her hand and led the way back to the couch. He sat down first and pulled her on top of him, causing Cat to gasp slightly in surprise as she suddenly found herself in his lap.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingertips playing with the short hair at the back of his head. "Thank you... for doing that," she whispered. Her mouth was barely a fraction of an inch from his but he didn't kiss her.
Instead, he started tracing her jawline with his thumb, slowly. He moved his fingers up to trace her cheekbones and the dip of her nose, lingering finally on her somewhat parted lips. Cat remained incredibly still, not even breathing, letting him see her in his own way. She was afraid. He'd touched her face before, but never quite like this... never with that analytical expression. He was judging her, she could tell.
"What?" he asked curiously after a moment. It was as if he could read the expression on her face just by sense of touch.
"Nothing," Cat lied.
"Oh come on, something's bothering you," Nick countered, not having any of it.
Cat struggled to stand, using Nick's chest to push herself back up onto her feet. She started to pace the length of the coffee table, not quite sure if she should say what she really wanted to say.
"Cat," Nick sighed. "I can't make you feel better if I don't know what's wrong. I'm in the dark here, literally," he said with a small smirk. Cat knew when he pulled out the blind jokes that it was his attempt at making her smile. It worked.
"I just... I've been thinking... about... um... This is gonna sound really lame," she laughed awkwardly, running her fingers through her hair.
Nick stood up so that she had to look up at him now. His hand reached out toward her and his fingertips brushed lightly against the skin of her arm.
"You've been coming over a lot these last few weeks, staying for dinner and helping me with Luke, and I was just thinking... maybe... if you want... tonight you don't have to leave," she murmured, feeling her whole face go crimson.
Nick looked very serious, but he didn't seem to be put off by the implication of her words, which Cat supposed was a good thing.
"Are you sure... that's a good idea... with Luke in the other room?" he asked finally, and Cat's heart fell into her stomach. He didn't want to sleep with her.
"Oh, well, if you don't want to..." Cat trailed off. She glanced down at her feet, feeling like the biggest pile of crap.
"That's not it at all," Nick rushed to say when he realized the mistake he'd made. "I do... want to... I'm just not sure if tonight is the right time or... place, you know? I was actually, um, thinking about—" he paused for a moment, looking a lot more like his usual self, goofy grin and all. "—if you'd like to go away for a weekend with me, just the two of us? I already talked to my mom, if you don't have anyone to watch Luke, she'd be more than willing—" he went on, but Cat cut him off before he had a chance to get another word out.
"Wait, so... you've been..." she trailed off. If he'd already discussed this with his mother... that meant he'd been planning this for a little while. She stared at him and then, before she could stop herself, a little giggle left her lips. "Okay... I... um... when?"
"You got any plans this weekend?" Nick chuckled.
Cat was in such a good mood that week that even the looming threat of finals at the end of the month didn't bother her nearly as much as they probably should.
She was so excited to leave for the lake on Friday evening, although it still worried her to be leaving Luke behind. Nick took her to dinner at his parents' three times since Easter, so she knew the woman fairly well by now and trusted her enough, but that didn't mean she was completely at ease, especially considering they'd be three and a half hours away.
She'd never been more than ten minutes away from Luke, ever.
Nick was being incredibly sweet about her reservations and even asked her if it was too much, if she wanted to maybe stay in the city instead. He'd gone through a lot of trouble though, and truth be told it did seem like a lot of fun. Nick had it all planned out for them weeks ago and he would've surprised her with the trip sometime during the week if she hadn't gone and fucked it all up for him. They were going to this tiny little town south of Decatur, where Nick had rented out a cabin for them along the Kaskaskia River.
It was Thursday afternoon now and Cat was at the grocery store getting supplies for the trip tomorrow while she waited for Nick to finish his class. They were going to pick up Luke from daycare and then they had plans to go eat dinner at a new restaurant Nick was dying to try out.
She was filling her cart with buns for the hamburgers and hot dogs when a voice behind her startled her.
"Cat?" she asked.
Cat whirled around so that she was suddenly staring at a tall teenager with bright purple hair. Half of her head was shaved while the other side hung in loose waves just above her shoulder. He mouth dropped as recognition dawned on her.
"Sara?" she gasped at her little sister, looking so much older and so much more... punk than she had the last time she'd seen her three years earlier. There was a teenage boy hanging back a little. He had a lip ring, shoulder-length black hair and his bright blue eyes were accented by eyeliner – or guy-liner, as they called it.
"Oh my God, Cat, I can't believe it's actually you!" Sara beamed, launching herself into her sister's arms so that Cat's cart went crashing against the nearby shelf. "I didn't know you were still in Chicago! How are you? How's— um...?" she trailed off, looking suddenly very uncomfortable.
Her eyes darted to Cat's flat belly.
"I'm good... and my son... he's good too. His name is Luke, he's almost three now," Cat murmured, feeling a sudden onslaught of tears begin to form behind her eyelids.
"You had a boy?! Oh my God, I have a nephew... oh my God," Sara whispered, looking like she was fighting back tears too. "Luke... and... um... what are you doing? Where do you work and... oh my God, Cat I'm just so happy to see you... it hasn't been the same without you at home!" Sara trailed off as she started to cry.
Cat couldn't help herself, tears now streaming down her face. She didn't care that her little sister looked like the lead singer of some really horrible punk-rock band. She flung her arms around her again and held her tight.
"You—you look really good though," Sara sniffed after a long moment. Neither one of the sisters was quite realizing anymore that they were standing in the middle of an aisle in a grocery store, both snotty and blotchy-faced.
"You too, Sara," Cat smiled, looking her sister over and frowning slightly at the belly button piercing and the tattoo, both visible since she was only wearing a crop top. She definitely wasn't fourteen anymore. How in the world did their parents even let her look like that? They barely even let her get highlights when she was still living at home, let alone piercings and tattoos!
"Do you wanna go grab lunch?" Sara asked excitedly, glancing over her shoulder at her friend—or, whatever it is he was to her. "Oh! Sorry, this is my friend Chad. We were going to the movies later but uh... we could always go at a later time?" she added the last part to this guy, Chad.
"Actually, you should go to the movies... I have to meet my boyfriend and pick up Luke... um, here, give me your phone," Cat said, feeling kind of bad for declining her sister's offer, but to be honest she just needed time to think this whole thing through. She really did need to go meet Nick and pick up Luke though, so that wasn't a lie.
After exchanging phone numbers, the two girls hugged again and parted ways. Cat let out a long, shaky breath and dabbed at her eyes, thinking she'd have to find the bathrooms and fix her make-up. She didn't want to look like a freak with red eyes and runny mascara.
Wow, Sara... she was so... different from the sweet little girl she used to be.