A sudden rush of unknown pressure runs in my head. As soon as I see the color on his face, I know that this is a wake up call. This is clear to me now that he is doing something that I don't know about.
James stares at me, not even opening his mouth to say anything.
So many thoughts run through my head now. The blood on his hands that clearly isn't his, for he has no wounds. "What the hell were you doing," I ask him in a more or less hushed tone.
He sighs and walks into the kitchen, disregarding my question.
I glare at his back as I follow him into the kitchen. He has more than enough explaining to do. He turns the tap on and started scrubbing his hands. I watched as the dark red turned brown as the water mixed. I wouldn't be mistaken that I taste metal.
We stood there for a good seven minutes as I watched him wash with hands. They were clean long ago, but we just continue to stand here like as if he is trying to tries to clean away whatever sin he has committed.
He turns the tap off and looks at me. "I fought someone," he confesses to me.
I look at him with raised eyebrows. Are you kidding me? He fought someone so badly that he caused blood. Oh, my goodness.
I can feel another headache coming on. Who the hell did he fight?
Grayson pops into my head. Grayson usually comes by on Christmas Eve, but he didn't tonight. Oh, my God.
"James what the hell?! You leave my family dinner to go fight someone? Who was it?"
I need to find out what happened right now.
He sighs, "It was Zeke."
Why on earth is he still involved with that guy? I was finished with him long ago and James is still fighting with him. How am I ever supposed to get away from that monster if James keeps on bringing him back in the picture?
"For God's sake James! What on earth are you still doing talking to him?!"
He shakes his head, "Vena, he keeps fucking my head up," he looks forward, avoiding my eyes.
Now that surprises me. What could Zeke say to possibly get James to be this explosive?
"What do you mean?" I ask trying to again a little bit more background story.
He dries his hands and steps away from the sink, turning and looking at me.
"You really want to know?" he crosses his arms across his chest and leans slightly forward to me, making me feel extremely uneasy.
I nod. I'm afraid that if I say anything at this point I may break.
"Vena, he fucking teases me with you. He tells me at every chance he can get that he fucked you first and that he had you first," he starts off and already his chest is starting to heave. "He makes sure that I know this. He wants you so fucking badly that he is willing to remind him every single time he gets that I will never be what he was to you," I notice as his hands start to slightly shake. "So I hit him and I hit him well because I know for a fact that I broke his nose."
No words can explain that kind of rage I am feeling right now towards him, but I can't help but feel bad for him. He thinks that he doesn't mean as much to me as Zeke did. It breaks my heart that he feels this way. Never in my life have I ever felt so much love for one person in my entire life. James has compared himself to a man that committed unfaithfulness. How could he ever?
I cross my arms, not making a single move towards James. He best explain himself before I even consider forgiving him.
"Well, go on, that doesn't tell me why you left before dinner was even served."
He nods and pulls out his phone, "This number," he shows me the screen, "keeps calling me and texting me and such and it's clearly Zeke, I have tried to block the number and stay calm but he's done something that makes the number unblockable" he explains.
My eyebrows furrow as I look at the messages.
You will never mean anything to her, compared to what I did.
I took her innocence, over and over again.
Break up with her
The messages went on and on.
I look at James and raise an eyebrow. "So let me get this straight: You left my family dinner that you knew was important to me to go fight my ex boyfriend?" I ask him, my jaw slightly dropped.
He nods.
I felt this weird feeling in my stomach, like something isn't right, but I choose to ignore it.
I stare at his eyes for a minute. "You have no idea how unbelievably angry I am right now, James," I tell him, feeling as my stomach clenches.
"Baby, I'm sorry," he tries to grab for my arm, but I take a step away from him.
"No, leave me alone James. I counted on you for one god damn thing this today: to be here and what do you do? Leave. At this point, you have proven to my family that they have a reason to hate you, so unless you want to get your ass kicked, I'd just go back home."
He shakes his head, "No, I'm not leaving. I know what I did was terrible, so I am going to take the consequences."
I shake my head. Stupid boy. "Whatever, I'm going to bed," I tell him, leaving him in the kitchen. I am way too tired to deal with this right now.
I hear as James's footsteps are right behind me. I lay down on the couch, pulling the blanket over my body.
I shut my eyes and when I thought James would just leave me alone, I am most definitely am wrong.
"Why are you sleeping down here?" he asks.
I open my eyes and look at him, "I gave my bedroom to Orlando and his wife," I tell him, letting my eyes close again.
"Why would you do that?" he asks.
I keep my eyes closed, "Because I didn't think that you would be coming back tonight, so what would the point in hogging a room if I'm sleeping alone?"
He sighs, "Darling, I'm sorry."
The nickname made my eyes open. It's seems like forever since the last time he called me that.
"What?"
He kneels down beside the couch and looks at me.
I look at his face. He really does seem sorry, but I won't stand for this. I'm not mad because he fought Zeke (well, mostly), I am mad because he let me down at a time where I needed him here.
I turn away from him and turn into the couch.
He didn't say another word after that, although, he did turn the lights off.
I hear as James shuffles as he gets onto the cot. I hear a smack sounds, like he was kissing something. I very suddenly felt his three fingers touch my forehead. I guess that is his way of kissing me Goodnight. I have the urge to laugh, but it goes away.
~
~
I woke I felt my arm locked in one spot. Open my eyes, it turns out that James is actually just holding my hand.
I take my hand out of his and go into the kitchen. As I look at the clock, it's nearing seven in the morning. My mother is surely going to be up soon and I don't think she will be very fond of finding my boyfriend shirtless in her living room, so if he doesn't wake up soon I am going to have to do it myself.
"Good morning, sweetheart," someones voice startles me, making me jump a little.
I look where the voice came from and as it turns out, I guess my mom has already seen James shirtless.
I pour myself a cup of coffee and fix it up how I like it and sit down at the table.
We sat there for awhile in this silence. "What are you thinking about?" she asks me.
I smile as I look up at her from the dark liquid. "Honeslty?"
She nods.
"I'm thinking about my dumbass of a boyfriend," I tell me, making her chuckle.
"I had a feeling. What time did he get here last night?" she asks, rubbing her thumb over the side of her mug slowly.
"A little bit after everyone else went to bed, I hadn't gone to sleep yet."
She nods, "Is everything okay between you two?" she wonders.
"No, not right now, but I am sure that they will," I assure her. I really do believe this, but right now I just want to be angry at him in peace.
Just as my mother is going to reply, the dumbass enters the room. James reaches up and leans back, causing his back to crack loudly. He sighs.
"James," he flinches at my mother's words and turns to us.
His eyes go wide, "Sorry, Mrs. Anderson," he said.
Nothing is said. James stared at me and I stared at him.
He looks sorry and I know for a fact that I look angry.
"You two talk it out, I don't want any fighting today, you know that Vena," my mother stood and put on my shoulder reassuringly.
I smile at her. She just about left the room before she stops and looks at James up and down. "You better find yourself shirt before her father gets up or there will be hell to pay, " she tells him sternly.
He chuckles and follows my mom out of the room, shortly he returns pulling his tee shirt over his head.
He sits down at the kitchen table and smiles at me, but I'm not smiling.
I look at him, expecting him to be looking somewheres else, but he is looking at me.
"Vena, I don't want to be fighting with you, this is our first Christmas together and I don't want to screw it up more than I already have."
I nod, "Don't you think that it is a bit too late for that?" I ask him.
He looks around the room for a moment like he is looking for the answer somewheres.
"Vena, please, I am sorry, okay? There is nothing we can do about yesterday. It's over with, so can you please just let it go?"
My eyes go wide, "Are you kidding me? You want me to let this go? James you left to go fight my petty ex boyfriend because you couldn't control yourself. For god sake James, get your head out of your ass. You're going around fighting people I don't associate with anymore just because you can't help but obsess with the fact that you weren't my first, or the fact that you weren't the first person I fell in love with before. I love you! Why can't you get that through your thick skull?!" I am shouting now.
James just looks stunned at my outburst. I hadn't realized that I am standing now.
I feel as another wave of adrenaline pulse through me. "How can you can realize how much you mean to me? I love you now, isn't that all that should matter?"
He stands up, "Of course. I love you, Vena."
"Then act like it."
___________________________
Hi guys, sorry for not posting on Friday, so here it is.
I'm sorry about this whole odd posting thing. I may not update on the weekend, but I am really going to try and slip one in before my surgery next week.
This book is coming to an end soon*
That's pretty much it.
See you guys later,
BWS❄️