Abu Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported: Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Allaah says, ‘I am as My slave expects Me to be and I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me inwardly, I will remember him inwardly, and if he remembers Me in an assembly, I remember him in a greater assembly (i.e., in the assembly of angels).'”
–Saheeh Bukhari and Muslim
* * *
Eshaal’s niqaab fluttered heavily in the breeze. She tugged at it for the umpteenth time that day, trying in vain to restore it to its original position. Once she was done fighting with it, she looked ahead and sighed. The road in front of her was blocked with vehicles of all sizes and shapes, making her wonder how long it would take for her to reach her destination. It had been a joyful but, at the same time, tiring day at the center. All she wanted was her cosy, fluffy bed right now.
She craned her neck, trying to peep through the vehicles ahead. It was of no use. It seemed as if she was truly stuck in the heavy traffic and would remain so for a while. She had barely moved fifty yards for the past fifteen minutes. Judging by the way things were going, she could tell that it would take her at least half an hour to reach home.
A car beside her honked in desperation. People turned around to give the driver a nasty glare. He honked persistently; and they all stared him down until he surrendered. Eshaal had to bite back a smile. The rainy season always brought out the worst in the people of her city; and it was almost funny the way they behaved like overgrown babies during such instances. It went without saying that every year around this time, most people walked around with a streak of childishness within them. They scowled for no reason, fussed about the slightest issues, and made a great deal of things difficult for themselves.
Another car honked. Someone yelled profanities in the next lane. Another sigh rose in her chest. She scrunched her nose, scratched her neck, and gave the road ahead one final glace. There was no improvement. This wouldn’t do.
Decidedly, Eshaal sat back on her seat and turned off the engine. She settled with a resolve to do something productive until the roads cleared. If things were going this way, she decided that it wouldn’t do her any good to anxiously keep staring at the vehicles that weren’t even moving an inch. Besides, why waste her time and energy on something that was going to take its own sweet time to get back in order? It wasn’t as if the police would allow her to do something about it and go clear the roads. A chuckle escaped her at the thought. An image of her directing the vehicles wearing a police cap flashed through her mind, and she smiled harder. She could almost envision herself ramming all the vehicles into each other if she was entrusted with the job. Being a clumsy person did bring in a lot of colours in life.
The wind played with her eyes this time. Eshaal’s eyelids, with thick lashes that framed her beautiful brown eyes, shut for a moment. She felt the cold breeze through the abaya she was wearing. In some place not far from where she sat, children laughed and a policeman made use of his whistle to issue a command. The wind brushed across her cheeks. She heard the rustling of leaves in the background. A sudden feeling of gratitude overwhelmed her. Her eyes blinked open, and the sight in front of her arrested her thoughts again.
The weather appeared bleak, seeming unlikely to improve. Angry clouds still loomed overhead, and the cold wind swirled and nipped at everything it could lay its hands on. The trees shook, the vehicles honked, and the barricades placed at certain places considerably narrowed down the roads, adding to the misery of the people who were used to the roads being wide. Eshaal could sense their discontentment. Even from where she sat, she could hear their usage of cuss words. So easily were they tossing around words as though they were chewing gums that a frown tugged at the corner of her lips. She wondered at their hate for the showers that had come upon them. She wondered at their discontent. Was the rain not a sign of Allaah’s mercy? Of Him blessing his servants from His bounty? Of Him catering to their needs?
Did they even realise those?
Unable to understand their logic, she submitted to the tug. A full frown broke on her face behind her veil.
Unlike those she was surrounded with, Eshaal for one, felt contentment and bliss whenever the skies poured. There was a deep-rooted sense of satisfaction every time the rain clouds arrived. Never mind the mild discomfort it was accompanied with, she always welcomed the rain. For her, it meant so much more than what she could put into words.
Not only were the torrential cyclonic downpours a characteristic of the city she loved so much; but in a country like India, its arrival meant solutions to a lot of economical and geographical problems—solutions to so many things people needed but, at the same time, didn’t pay much heed.
Ground water level, perennial reservoirs, domestic water supply, farmers, seasonal crops—they were all catered to by this rain. These downpours undoubtedly brought them relief. They brought with them abundant water. It has been agreed that sometimes the people of authority did nothing to save excess water for later use leading for it to overflow or stagnate year after year; but the truth was that without these showers, people would be under a lot pressure. Without these showers, life would become very difficult. It would come to a standstill if not ceased immediately.
Her train of thoughts kept her occupied. Contently, she ruminated them. So immersed as she was in it that she failed to notice a lanky boy who had been trying to squeeze through the vehicles. He whizzed across her through a narrow gap between Eshaal’s Scooty and a car without the slightest hint; and by doing so, managed to stir a dirty puddle on the road. Eshaal had just about enough time to duck out of the way; but the disturbed water found escape from a pothole, splattering on her brand new Scooty and leaving wet trails behind. Scowling after that boy who hadn’t even bothered to apologise, she scrutinized her vehicle, making up her mind to have it washed as soon she returned home.
Fifteen minutes later, when Eshaal still found herself surrounded by vehicles, restlessness began to seep into her. She contemplated calling her brother for help; and yet, no sooner had the thought crossed her mind, she immediately threw it out. Calling her brother for help meant never-ending hours of teasing, pressing his shirts, and doing his chores. No, it was way better to wait until the roads got cleared and then reach home compared to asking her brother for a favour, then repaying him for it.
Her tongue chanted the attributes of her Lord while her mind contemplated over them. She let her gaze wander again. It settled on a group of teenagers seated at the bus stop this time. They were giggling and enjoying themselves thoroughly despite the gloomy weather. Almost involuntarily, a smile made its way to her face, taking her through a portal to her childhood days—carefree life, laughter, and smiles. A truckload of them.
Eshaal recollected her teenage years. It was a phase when everyone had ignored her due to her persisting headcover and loose clothes. Not many she had known at the time understood her way of viewing the world, and most of whom she knew didn’t even appreciate it. For a major part of her teens, solitude had been her constant companion; but she hadn’t minded it in the least. She had kept herself occupied with gaining more knowledge in all the fields she could. She had equipped herself with all the skills essential for living. She had indulged in the wonderful family her Rabb granted her. The sensible part of her always reminded her that it was better to stay alone than be in the company of the bad. She had managed to pacify herself that she was better off alone.
During her college days, however, she had met her troublesome trios; and her world had lit up in the literal sense. She couldn’t be happier. Eshaal still remembered how awkward their first conversation had been—how they looked around, stuttered, spoke with uncertainty, shifted from one foot to another, and glanced at all other places except for each other’s faces. A giggle escaped her mouth as she relived their first encounter. Who would have thought that they were going to be the best of friends? Definitely not her.
The dejected face of Rida earlier that day came to Eshaal all of a sudden. She bit her lip in contemplation. Guilt pooled inside her. Maybe she should have checked the chits. Better yet, she shouldn’t have forced them to play at all.
The more she thought of it, the more unsettling her thoughts became. They coiled around her, causing a breathy gasp to escape her lips due to the mounting pressure. Her eyes settled on the heavens above. Her throat felt thick and her tongue dry. Ya Allaah, ease the lives of my friends. Grant them their hearts’ desires in both worlds. Ameen!
Eshaal fervently hoped that life would treat her friends well—that their pain and suffering wouldn’t be as extreme. She couldn’t bear the thoughts of their paths being as rugged as they were, and what lay ahead—she truly hoped from the bottom of her heart—would smoothen out for them in the due course of time.
Her friends never spoke much about their problems and didn’t truly discuss them, but she was well aware that each of them carried their own emotional baggage. For an outsider, they might represent a happy picture almost at all times; but the truth was that each of them went through things and were going through things they didn’t dare utter out aloud.
Amongst the four, Eshaal had been the most blessed in almost all aspects, and not a day passed by when she didn’t thank Allaah for it. Realisation of her blessings filled her with such humility that tears often sprung to her eyes. Some days, there was an intense bout of gratitude that overwhelmed her; and she was brought to her knees. Her head on the ground, she gave free reign to her tears that flowed. Other days, she could only sit and contemplate on the sufferings of the ummah and think of all that they go through.
Of course, being a Muslim didn’t mean life would be free of problems. Believing didn’t assure anyone a carefree life. Problems would exist and so would issues, misgivings, and tests and trials; but then again, at the end of the day, it would lead them to become polished diamonds, shaped pottery, and fully-formed pearls. The challenge was to see the glass half full, not half empty during the entire process. The process that tailored them into the masterpieces that they’d turn out to be.
The vehicle behind Eshaal honked. She looked ahead to find that the road had started clearing. Muttering a word of gratitude to her Lord, she kicked her Scooty to life.
* * *
Upon entering the house, Eshaal’s brows rose to see travel bags being lined up by the entrance. She pulled her niqaab from her face in haste and flung it aside. Her hijab and abaya, too, were hurriedly discarded before she let herself sink on to the sofa, greeting her parents at the same time.
“Come, beta. Finally, the queen decided to grace us with her presence.” It was a typical desi mom jab.
Groaning lightly, Eshaal pressed herself onto the sofa. “You didn’t tell me where you are going.”
“I told you. In fact, I even reminded you yesterday that I will be going to Sayeed’s wedding.”
“Aunt Nazira’s son?”
“The very same.”
“Beta, are you sure you don’t want to come?” Her father cut into the conversation. “The whole village would be gathering at the wedding. It’s going to be fun.”
“Papa, the last time I attended a wedding in the village,” she gave a shudder, “it ended as a disaster. I’m not coming. I would rather stay home.”
“Yeah, you better stay here,” replied her mother. “There should be someone staying here to cook for Ibrahim. I can’t trust the boy alone in the kitchen. He’d burn the whole place down.”
Eshaal froze. Now that was something she hadn’t thought of. Her brother could receive the award for being the most irritating brother if people ever conducted a poll. She would vote for him a thousand times! But she didn’t have a way out now. It was either attend a marriage of someone she had seen only a handful of times in her life and listen to the gossips of desi aunties, or stay home with her annoying brother. Reluctantly, she agreed on the latter after which her mother gave her a long lecture on what she had to do in her absence before she set off.
Eshaal stood watching as the taxi swerved and disappeared around the corner. Turning around, she pulled her lip between her teeth, letting her eyes rove around the place. A week without her parents, she knew, would be tough enough. Her brother was an additional problem she had to take care of.
The day passed by in a blur. Eshaal spent much of her evening invested in completing her chores; but by the time maghrib rolled in and the sunlight diminished, fear started building inside of her. Earlier that day, Manha had persuaded them to watch real jinn videos on YouTube to ward off the tense atmosphere; and they had readily consented. Huddling together, they had watched the videos nonstop for an hour, stuffing their mouth with junk. She regretted it so much now that she was all alone in her house. As much as she didn’t want to admit it out loud, the truth was that she was scared. Images of the videos had started to conjure in her head. She was afraid of what might happen.
Relying on her brother was, again, out of the option. He came home very late at times after having spent his evenings doing Allaah only knew what. She would have to stay home alone until he arrived.
Eshaal was a mess. It would not have been so scary had it been something regarding ghosts since she knew that ghosts didn’t exist. Once souls depart from the world, they never come back again. They lack the power to venture into the world of the living. The knowledge of it would have been of some comfort. Knowing that it was nothing but fiction would have made it better. However, jinn videos were not the same. She knew, for a fact, that jinns existed. She had heard and read of several happenings where jinns had shown up or had harmed people. Staying home alone sounded terrifying after having watched the videos. She just couldn’t muster enough courage.
When she had completed preparing dinner, shivering like a leaf all the while, she felt a tiny bit of relief. Eshaal knew she cannot remain all alone in their house for long without imagining creatures of the unseen world walking around, so she plated her food and ran towards her room once she was done with her chores. Eventually, her fear would subside the next day, she knew; but, until then, she could not, for the life of her, behave normally. She ate, prayed, and laid on her bed, unable to even blink in fear. The videos they watched kept replaying on her mind, not letting her eyes rest. Halfway through another thought of hers, exhaustion took over her; and she finally fell asleep, letting slumber consume all her fears.
* * *
Eshaal stirred in her sleep when she heard the clock strike twelve. She stirred even more—shifted.
There was some sort of uneasiness that she couldn’t shake off. All the images she had seen in those jinn videos flashed in her mind. Try as she might, she couldn’t force them out of her head. She wondered about the bad vibes she was having. She wondered what it could be. Were there jinns creeping up the staircase? Were they outside in the corridor? In the room? Under the bed? Ya Allaah!
She chastised herself for having such silly thoughts even though, deep down, she was still skeptical about the beings lurking beneath her bed. Ya Rabb! I’m not ready to face you yet. Please don’t let whatever is in here kill me.
It was so infuriating to be caught up with fear like a teenager; but Eshaal couldn’t help it. She was afraid yet angry at herself for being so. Something just didn’t seem right. She clutched her covers tightly. Her heartbeat started quickening by the minute, her cheeks and feet felt cold. The clock, too, seemed to be striking louder that night.
Pondering over it for a few seconds, Eshaal recognized the culprit. It had to be her digestive system! It could be nothing else. She had stuffed her stomach with junk food at the center, and now it was disrupting her peace. It was messing with her mind.
She changed sides, still unable to overcome her fear. Ya Allaah! Why me?
When Eshaal couldn’t bear it anymore, she threw her pride aside and decided to ring up her brother. He wasn’t home yet. She knew that because he hadn’t woken her up to open the door. Her brother always forgot to take his keys with him and always preferred to bang the door or ring the bell. Typical irritating elder brothers.
She reached out to her nightstand for her phone. Panic filled her chest as she realised that her phone wasn’t there. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon!
She sat up abruptly. The light was switched on. There was no trace of her phone anywhere in her room. Eshaal groaned in agony when realisation struck her. She had left her phone on the kitchen counter. The only way to retrieve her phone now would be to go down.
Either jinn or panic attack. I’m dead for sure by the end of the day!
After thinking about other alternatives that didn’t lead her anywhere, Eshaal peeped out of her room. Making sure that there was no one, or rather nothing around, she tiptoed towards the staircase. She thought she felt some presence behind her; but when she turned around, there was no one. Strange. She could have almost sworn that there was someone behind her.
Behind me! Ya Allaah!
She rapidly ran down the staircase and entered the dimly lit kitchen; but just as she entered it, the light went off. Resisting the urge to scream, she started feeling around to find her phone. Let me survive this night, please.
There was some kind of thumping noise coming from upstairs. Her panic heightened. She increased her speed, feeling around the kitchen with impatience. Her fingers dipped into some slimy liquid, and she brushed the container away. A few more more vessels that she hadn’t even touched cluttered to the ground. Ya Allaah, what is happening?
Her fingers finally felt her phone. Alhamdulillaah!
Taking a deep breath and filling her chest with hope, she plunged in with full force. Just as she retrieved it, she felt another hand on hers. Letting go of her useless pride, she screamed with all her might!
***