6:32 a.m.
To my left is a very rich and famous nutritionist and to my right is a representative of a famous chef from Dallas. In front of me is an untouched mimosa and eggs benedict with a piece of toast. Behind me is the door I would really, really, really like to be running out of. Four days after finishing my log and here begins meetings galore. Dinners, early breakfasts, brunches, lunches, phone deals, emails, and more. I can't take it.
I can't take it when all I can think about every minute of everyday is Justin and getting rid of Richard. The last update I received on Richard is that he is doing just fine in West Virginia. And if I had it my way I would ruin his science filled bliss with a big fat damn breakup.
Except I'm not supposed to know he is in West Virginia. I am not supposed to know what he is working on. I am supposed to wait. And wait. And wait. I'm honestly tired of fucking waiting. I take action at work but I haven't taken the initiative in regards to my personal life. My personal life is a wreck.
"...Wouldn't you agree?" the woman to my right asked.
Blinking unsurely, I said, "No." For the past half hour, they have been trying to get me to do a part two to the log that focuses on foods for the grill in specific, gushing on how Texans love to grill. The thing is I don't really grill all too much. So how can I focus on that if I hardly know how to do it? "I only know how to grill chicken, hot dogs, and burgers, that's all."
"You could read up on it a bit and—"
"That's not the kind of girl I am. I am not in any position to teach people how to grill certain foods. Who do you think I am, Guy Fieri?" I snort.
The representative of the famous chef chuckled underneath his breath. "Good one." I smiled.
The woman frowned. "You're not capitalizing on your roots and nature—"
"I was born and raised in Vermont, darling. I packed up and came to Texas for college then never went back home. I haven't been here that long." Hello, I'm twenty-two!
Her nose wrinkled. "You're from Vermont?"
Literally she could have found that online. Annoyed to the point of pain, I turned to face the man. "Give me a call about the chef featuring some of my foods. I'm very interested in the prospect. I'm afraid I have somewhere else to be in a few."
The man gave a curt nod and then typed away at his phone as he rose from his seat. I like him, he actually has a purpose. Withholding a glare for the woman, I stood up as well, slipping out my own phone, finding a text from Mr. Cobalt. Immediately my heart began to race.
Would have called, but I remember you told me you had meetings this morning. Look, this is really really dicey, okay? Justin's flight is coming in today. He'll be in Texas by 5:30 p.m. Richard's flight comes in too but not until 8:59 p.m. So, if you can stall Justin, tell him you have idk a dinner meeting or something and you'll be by at 10 p.m. at the earliest... Richard has to stop by the lab to deposit his findings so he may be there by 9 something and then you can break it off and I'll make sure your driver knows to get you to Justin as fast as possible.
My entire body grew cold and I didn't even care to respond as the annoying nutritionist woman said something else about grilling. It takes at least an hour to get from DFW airport to that lab and the flight could get delayed there are no guarantees. Justin will expect me before midnight. This. Can't. Be. Happening. Ferociously, I decided to dial up Mr. Cobalt, pushing the door to this breakfast diner open, feeling the cool air against my cheeks.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Are you serious?" I hissed.
"Now, Kasey—"
"This is unacceptable I cannot handle this! I should have just shown up to Richard's hotel in West Virginia or wrote him that damn letter! I may not make it on time! You clearly don't know how much Justin means to me, do you?"
"Of course I do—"
"No, you apparently don't! I can't show up to Justin past midnight it's tonight or never. He means that. I can't even-I don't want to lose him. I don't." I had to stop walking to brace myself against the wall of some floral shop. Everything is churning and spinning and I am losing my control. Maybe I should have eaten the damn eggs benedict. Removing my hand from the wall, I put it to my head.
"You need to take deep breaths. I can't control their flights and you weren't supposed to know he was in West Virginia."
"I still don't know what the hell he was doing in West Virginia!" I snapped out, hand clenching on the phone.
"You know too much, actually. Listen to me, I will tell you as soon as Richard's plane lands on the ground and as soon as his car stops at the lab. Maybe be at the lab early to save time, be there before he arrives. Kasey, you can do this. We can do this."
I grumbled a string of obscenities about how cruel the universe is and how this shouldn't be this complicated. "I swear to God that if this doesn't work out and I'm a lonely cat lady years down the line...you will never ever get rid of me."
"Are you threatening me?" Mr. Cobalt asked, amused.
"No, I'm promising you."
He laughed. "Alright. Keep your phone on you at all times or it's not my fault if you fuck this up. I'll be in touch." He hung up.
So fed up with life in general, I stomped down the street and into my awaiting car. The world can literally kiss my ass.
9:57 a.m.
Standing in front of Ellen's door, I hesitated to knock. She's probably asleep or not even home. In fact, she's probably so fed up with my Justin drama. Lost in my thoughts, I nearly jumped out of my skin when Igloo started speaking.
"Kasey Anne Lewis. You may enter," it chirped. The door unlocked and stunned, I slowly pushed the door open, walking inside the house. It's still as perfect as the first time I came around except now it feels less cold and unfriendly.
In a daze I continued forward not even believing I am doing this. I can't believe I'm seeking out Justin's mother. The kitchen came into view and I made a beeline for it. She's probably enjoying some tea or something else extra fancy for her tastes. Instead of finding her in a chair I found her in Elliot's lap, feeding him cantaloupe.
My stomach churned again and I swallowed back the uneasiness. Ellen's hair is hanging freely to swirl around her, her face bright with happiness and post morning laughter. She's dressed in a dark plum nightgown with lace at the top and bottom hem, feet bare. Elliot has on a pair of boxers, his hair naturally ruffled. Either of them glanced my way and I cleared my throat, demanding attention. I have a deadline today.
Both heads whipped around to face me and Ellen didn't even blush, her face twisting up into a wistful smile. "Good morning, Kasey."
"Morning," I grounded out, trying to get to the point. My freaking stomach is killing me. I put a hand to it, closing my eyes. When I opened them again, Ellen looked at me with concern.
"Oh no, don't tell me," she groaned.
"Don't tell you what?" I bit back.
"What's with the tude?" Elliot asked, amused. Ew. My stomach churned faster, making me groan.
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Ellen gasped out.
Shocked, my hands flew to my mouth. "What? Why would you think that?"
"You're here at nine in the morning looking nauseous what else am I supposed to think?"
"I'm not pregnant, I came for advice!"
"Kasey, please!" Ellen rose up from Elliot's lap, looking glorious and regal despite her clear lack of appropriate clothing. "Follow me, darling." She grabbed me by the forearm, dragging me to a room in the far back of the house. Her feet pad against the marble as my heels clack. She put the back of her hand to my forehead, her frown growing deeper and then another on my stomach while cocking her head to the side. "Hm."
"What?" I asked, eyes wide.
"You may not be pregnant but it can't hurt to test it anyways." She opened the door to a bathroom, opening up the cabinets and pulling out a pregnancy test box. "Pee on this." She placed the stick in my hand.
"Are you going to leave?" I looked pointedly at her.
"Just pee on it, Kasey, I don't have all day. I have no interest in what your body looks like now hurry up!" Ellen chastised.
Blushing, I thanked God I have started getting Brazilians and that I had one done a week ago. I peed on the stick and then the rest in a cup Ellen gave me, placing the stick in the cup and letting it sit for a few seconds before taking it out and placing it on the sink counter.
"Are you late?" Ellen asked, voice soft.
"Yes," I whispered. I didn't even think about it, but I am late. I'm very late. A week late. Damn.
"Did you two use protection?"
I sighed. "No."
Ellen nodded. "Give it a minute."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I gasped out. "God, I'm an idiot, you should hate me. I broke your son's heart and I'm about to do it again! On top of that I could be pregnant with his baby and I'm not even ready. We aren't even together again. He lands in Texas at five thirty. Richard doesn't get here till nine! What am I supposed to do? That's not enough time, Ellen. It's not. I hate myself. I'll hate myself if I hurt Justin again." I put my head in my hands and sobbed.
Surprisingly, Ellen rubbed big and small soothing circles into the middle of my back with one of her hands. "Kasey..."
"Yes?" I said through my tears, lifting my head up.
"You're not pregnant."
"Oh thank God!" I looked down at the stick, looking at its one pink line.
"You're just really stressing out and it's knocking everything off balance. Have you been sleeping?" She pinched at the bags beneath my eyes. I shook my head no. "Kasey, you need to be sleeping. Look at me." I looked at her. "I'll make Justin come over and do some shit around the house or escort me to a function tonight that I'll pretend is of massive importance. I'll distract him. Milly will distract him. We can do this, together. I don't hate you, Kasey."
"Why not? You should."
"Why should I? I spent the majority of my life hating myself and Ethan to last a lifetime. I don't need any more people on the list. You're only so young and we all make mistakes, Kasey. The thing that defines a person is if they are willing to fix them. You are willing and I will help you. Just take deep breaths and make sure you do your part. I'll worry about Justin." She smiled gloriously at me and I would hug her tightly, but I don't think that is her thing.
"Thank you, Ellen."
"You can call me Elle." She pulled me in for a tight hug and I never felt so cherished in another woman's arms besides my own mother's.
11:24 a.m.
Elle made me stay and eat something and then do yoga for fifteen minutes. Elliot thought it was hilarious but he said yoga really works for Elle it makes her calmer. She promised I had nothing to worry about that Justin would be easy to manage. I prayed she had it all under control. I prayed I had it all under control.
Oddly, I was kind of disappointed when I found out the test was negative. Something about the possibility of having something special with Justin made me feel...hopeful. Of course I was relieved to not have to endure a pregnancy I didn't' get to plan or discuss with Justin. We never talked about children. For all I know he may not even want children. But I want it with him. I want it all with him, everything.
All the possibilities with Justin are endless. Most importantly there is happiness. I could be so happy. For months I've been nothing but sad, angry, misplaced. I could be complete. I could be whole. I will have all of these things. One day I will look down at a pregnancy test and it will have two lines and I'll be so damn happy. But Richard has to go. Richard has got to freaking go.
1:15 p.m.
In a miserably uninteresting lunch meeting with a few publishers, I crossed my ankles beneath the table and sat up straight in my seat. From across the table, Kenny threw me a playful smile. He knows I am restless and ready to jump out of my seat. I'm usually more patient and understanding during meetings. I normally pay attention. But today I was almost pregnant.
Today Justin comes home.
Today Richard comes back home.
Today is my final chance to fix everything. I don't have time to sit still. I don't have time.
"That's a misconstruing suggestion," Kenny argued. "I don't suggest we take that into account. The food speaks for itself."
"Meet with us tomorrow night?" one of the board members proposed.
"I would, but I have a date with a lovely lady that night." Kenny smiled, winking at me and I rolled my eyes. Jace and him are so gross. Jace is so happy though and has started back up her therapy. She has individual therapy on Mondays and couples therapy with Kenny on Thursdays.
The board discussed some other topics I didn't care about before calling it quits and departing. Relieved, I uncrossed my ankles, standing up to adjust my blazer and straight leg slacks.
"Your head was so not in the game," Kenny pointed out.
Frowning I said, "I know and I'm sorry. Sorry I keep leaving the grunt work to you. I make a terrible alliance partner and—"
"Nah, you are just madly in love and everything else seems unimportant. I don't know what I would do if things weren't okay with Jace and I." Kenny shrugged, adjusting his tie.
I sighed. "You guys hardly even know each other."
"I get to know her every day. Besides, you'll fix things tonight, I have faith that you will."
"Thanks. Maybe. I'll see you later."
"Kasey?"
"Yes?"
"Maybe you should do yoga, might de-stress you."
Because that was so absurd and ironic and I'm pent up tight with tension, I threw back my head and laughed.
3:55 p.m.
With a stack of letters from adoring fans in my hands, I bent over my desk at work to find one I dropped. It has to be here somewhere.
"How very exciting for me," Mr. Cobalt mused. "I didn't think my day could get any better yet here you are making it extra special."
Refusing to oblige him with a response, I found the letter lodged underneath my desk before yanking it out and standing back up again. "What are you doing here?"
"I have something I wanted to discuss."
I raised an eyebrow. He is dressed expensively and sharply as usual with a red lined suit and a shiny blood red bowtie. My cellphone started ringing. "Hold that thought." I picked up the call. "Hello?"
"Kasey!" Miranda screeched. This girl and this screeching. "So...are you and Justin fixing things tonight?"
"I'm trying. Now isn't really a good time though—"
"Kase, don't push me away. I actually called because I have an idea."
Groaning I whined, "Miranda, please don't—"
"You two have this thing for trains, right? So dress up in a conductor's outfit and then get on board."
I bit my lip so hard there will probably be blood. "Miranda you are being absurd—" I stopped talking when Mr. Cobalt held up a dress bag, a twinkle in his eyes. "You've been talking to Mr. Cobalt?" I haven't even introduced them yet.
"Who is that?" Miranda scoffed. "I called Milly and we talked and she said she'd work out the details of the costume. You're freaking welcome."
"Look, I'm so stressed right now..."
"That you'd make the worst cow because you'd never be happy enough to produce milk."
"You're spending too much time on the farm." I laughed.
"We don't have a dairy farm, Kase," she scoffed, "We have an organic farm. Lucy has a dairy farm. God, you're so suburban highlife Texan now and it's disgusting."
"You wish you were living my life."
"I do. But I'm not so I'm not going to be all uppity like you...for now at least." I chuckled. "Well put that outfit on for tonight. Love you, Kase."
"Love you too, Miranda." I hung up, shaking my head in dismay. "Get that costume away from me," I growled as Mr. Cobalt rubbed it and down the side of my arm. He's so weird.
"Milly insisted I get this to you. I don't like to be a disappointment."
"What's your story anyways?"
He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"What's with the suits and why do you do what you do? What's your deal?"
Mr. Cobalt grew stiff, laying the dress bag across my desk. "I like to dapple in dark and underhanded things. There is no story for that."
"Come on, indulge me in a tale." I sat down next to the dress bag and Mr. Cobalt gave a tight smile.
"I was married to a Russian woman who got involved with a Russian mobster while we were married and after our daughter turned four. The man wanted more from her that she was not willing to provide and he said she knew too much to walk away. She owed some debts to some other shadier people before meeting the mobster." Mr. Cobalt turned to stare stony eyed out the door. "She sold our daughter to the shady dealer."
"Wait? She sold a little girl? Your little girl to another person?"
"Yes," he said, voice like steel chains. "I found out as early as possible. God, I was lucky. I did some shady dealing of my own; thank God I was already in the business partway, with one foot in the door. For my daughter I threw my entire self through the door and took it down. I killed some people, made some arrangements, and got my daughter back. I put my now ex-wife into a rehab facility to curb her of the cocaine she was hooked on. She's better now."
"Where is your daughter now?"
"She's eight years old now and Ivanka cares for her at least thirty percent of the time and I take care of the seventy percent."
"Wow, I had no idea. So now you just do shady shit?"
Mr. Cobalt turned back to face me, a small smile on his face. "You could say that. But I'm filthy rich and I legally own every propriety and business that I have, no shadiness there. My daughter has everything she could possibly want. I'm happy."
"Well that's good. You and Ivanka on good terms?"
"I hate that Russian bitch," he growled. "She's the mother of my child and that's the only respect and title I'll ever give her again. I don't take kindly to people who deceive me."
"So are you into blind dating or online dating? Because with a nice girl you could shape up in no time."
His lips twitched with amusement. "Not really interested in dating."
"Oh come on! It was four years ago, Mr. Cobalt. You're still kind of young there is time."
Shrugging he said, "Not really interested. Women beguile me."
"Then you're going to get a kick out of my sister."
"I certainly hope so. I'll be in touch. Do wear that. Milly said your sister would kill me if you didn't." Mr. Cobalt gave me a stern look before disappearing out my office door.
5:17 p.m.
Stomach twisted in knots, I barely registered Khadijah speaking to me over the sound of doom in my ears. Justin is almost here, Justin is almost here, I repeat he is almost here. Fiddling with my hands, I looked down at my kitchen table, begging hell to open up a pit so I can fall into it. That would be a valid excuse for why I couldn't show up to Justin's house on time. I mean, I would be in literal hell. It's not like I could crawl out in two minutes and be like, "Hey, Justin, still love ya. Still want ya. Still here to seduce ya."
"If you weren't going to pay attention, you could have rescheduled," Khadijah sniped.
Shit. "Sorry! I am listening I promise." Oh my god I don't think my heart can take it. I'm too young to have a heart attack.
"What did I just say then?"
Pursing my lips, I mumbled, "Something about cooking on the Today show."
"Kasey, we'll reconvene tomorrow."
"I can't! You know I have—"
"I explained for twenty minutes how I had to cancel the talk with that snotty nosed reporter so you are free for that two hours. What is the matter with you?"
Justin's plane has landed.
Mr. Cobalt's message couldn't have come at a more terrible time. Good God. I'm starting to sweat. Khadijah squeezed my wrist so tight I yelped. "Justin is back in town and I have to break up with Richard and be at his door all before midnight!" I confessed.
"Jesus Christ, Kasey!" she gasped. "Why does this all have to be tonight?"
I explained to her about Justin's one demand, Richard's inability to communicate with me, his out of state activities, and how I am praying it just all works out.
"This is a mess. I can stall Justin for you if you want. I can talk for hours about potential architectural events if you need it." Khadijah raised her eyebrows and I sighed in relief. At least she cares.
"His mom is on it. She's a great staller."
Khadijah snickered. "Alright, well hopefully it all works out. I'll see you tomorrow and you better be in the right mind because this is a crucial time for your log is debuting soon."
"I know."
"Hang in there." She squeezed my hand and then left my apartment. Dear God. I'm going to combust underneath this pressure.
6:52 p.m.
Looking at that stupid conductor outfit I threw onto my bedroom floor, I tried my best to breathe and not die. My phone vibrated.
Hey, I'm home. I hope I get to see you? If I don't then I get it. I'm doing some errands for my mom. I think she missed me or something because she's doing the most right now. I'll text you when I'm available.
Oh.
My.
God.
There is no way his mom can keep him busy until Richard's plane touches down at nine and then for him to show up to the lab at about ten and for me to talk to him and then get my ass all the way to Justin's in this conductor outfit. What in the flying hades of hell does the universe think I'm made of?
The worst part is that I did all of this to myself! Why did I dump Justin? Why did I start dating Richard? Why do I exist? Pacing my bedroom floor, I kicked out at the stupid dress bag over and over again. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. With a growl, I sank down onto the edge of my bed.
Aw, that's okay. I have a dinner meeting at seven so I'm on my way now. I don't know when it will get done but I'll see you right after.
Looking forward to it.
8:59 p.m.
I haven't moved from my spot on the edge of my bed this entire time. I'm so nervous I can't even breathe. Milly called me earlier and said Elle had Justin looking at the frame of the house despite the darkness to figure out a way to expand the home. She said he's getting irritated but is doing his best to stay cool.
They probably can't keep that up for another hour or two. I need another hour or two. HELP ME.
Richard's plane has touched down. I overrode the lab's system to get in you in. Just give them your name. Take deep breaths. So far so smooth...
If this is Mr. Cobalt's idea of smooth then I need to reevaluate my entire life. I put on something casual and grabbed a pair of thigh high boots, throwing the dress bag over my shoulder, even sliding in my flats to yank a brush from the dresser. Out the door I go with a costume and a pipeline dream.
I gave the lady at the lab's receptionist desk my name and she gave me a swipe card for the door. Before she could even think if this was normal or not, I took it from her, heading for the elevator. As soon as I stepped into the lab's door I came face to face with Caroline.
"What are you doing in here?" she asked, surprised.
"Waiting for Richard," I answered honestly.
"Wait in the lobby, this is technically—"
"Illegal?" I snorted. "Cut the shit, Caroline and spare me the nice girl act."
"What do you mean?" she hissed, face red.
I rolled my eyes. "I know you're in love with Richard."
Caroline's eyes grew wide for a moment and then she rolled her shoulders back, lowering her eyes. When she lifted them she said, "Can you blame me?"
"Well I mean I could but then I don't really care to do so."
"Is this where you tell me to back off?" She snorted.
"No."
"You're going to pay me off?"
"Caroline, shut your mouth you watch too many movies." I glared at her. "I'm in love with someone else. I'm breaking it off with him so he's going to be fair game. I just want you to promise that you'll stick with him for he's a good guy after all."
" Y-you're just going to give him up?" she stuttered, utterly astonished.
"Yes. Here, I'll show you why." I showed her a picture of Justin and Caroline sighed in awe.
"Yeah, I can see why. He's dreamy."
"Richard is dreamy too. Just, he's your dream and not mine." I smiled.
"I...Thank you. You didn't have to do this. You're the hot and popular girl who can get the quarterback and his dad if you wanted." I laughed. "I'm the nerdy science geek that helps the quarterbacks with their homework so they can pass and play in the next game." She shuffled her feet.
"Don't let the pretty face and nice clothes fool you, Caroline. I didn't have any friends in highschool and I was halfway through my first degree while I was in highschool. I made something of myself and you are beautiful. You just have to get out of the lab coats and put on some mascara or something and bam you'd be a beauty queen in ten seconds."
"Really?" She blushed.
"Really."
It's go time, Kasey. Finish this up, he's walking in.
"How about you go freshen up in the ladies room for Richard because I'm about to break his little heart and he'll need something prettier to comfort him." I winked and Caroline smiled blissfully, leaving the room.
Not even five minutes later, Richard walked into the lab room, his eyes focused. He looks good dressed in casual pants and a plain blue shirt. His hair is a little messy, probably from the flight, and bags are under his eyes. He has not been sleeping.
"Shit! K-Kasey I didn't know you were here? How did you get here?" He braced himself on a nearby stool.
I gave a hollow smile in return. "You haven't returned any of my calls and I heard you skipped to some other states without informing me first. I wanted to be here when you got back."
"Oh...about that—"
"Save it, I don't want to hear your excuses. I came by to tell you that I think it's best we break up."
Richard folded in on himself, his shoulders scrunching in before extracting and then he was straight again, looking more awake than he did before. "Why? It's Justin isn't it?"
"Yes." Why lie?
"You slept together didn't you?"
"Richard, why—"
"Don't lie to me. I saw the pictures from the networking event and you were off to the side talking with someone and Justin was staring at you with this look that was so intense it was like it's own movie and it's own story."
"You can look at gossip magazines but not return my texts or phone calls?" Yes, petty, but it doesn't add up.
"That's doesn't matter now, you're ending things anyways," he bit back.
"Richard, please. I'm doing you a favor."
"Right." He laughed. "You're real manipulative, you know that?"
My eyes narrowed. "I didn't say I was innocent or that this was your fault. I'm saying I'm doing you a favor. I wasn't over Justin when I started dating you and I'm not over him now. You work too much and you're a shitty texter and head over heels for Caroline."
Richard's face went pale. "What?"
"I saw you two together before you went out of town. I saw her in your lap and I heard you two talking and you were perfect. You were both what we aren't. So, like I said, I'm doing you a favor. Yes, I slept with Justin and yeah it was wrong but we were both wrong. You were cheating mentally and I cheated mentally and physically." I gave a dry chortle. "Regardless of who did who more terribly than the other you deserve her and I deserve Justin. We shouldn't keep holding each other back from the one good thing we need in our lives."
Speechless, Richard stared past me. "I did...No I do care about you, Kasey."
"And I care about you too, Richard. But I love Justin."
Richard nodded his head. "I don't know how to tell Caroline how I feel. I never know what to say. It was easier with you."
"It's easier when you're pretending. Remember that quote I told you? No one ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."
"Heraclitus," Richard confirmed.
"Yes. We aren't the same two people we were hiding from things, it's time we stop hiding from what will be hard but so good for us. You hear me?"
With a sigh, Richard said, "I hear you."
"Good. You should do something romantic for Caroline," I said as I slid off of the lab table. Richard raised his eyebrows in question. "I don't know, put your junk in a microscope and tell her 'That's part of me, the rest you get to see later' or whatever else rocks her socks."
Richard threw back his head and laughed. "A junk cell, wow. That wouldn't even possible because the microscope can't look at an entire—"
I waved it away with a playful smile. "Technicalities."
Pulling me in for a hug, Richard whispered in my ear, "You're an amazing, brilliant, and beautiful woman. Thanks, Kasey."
"Thank you, Richard." Thanks for not making this too hard. I kissed him on the cheek and then ran out the door.
11:07 p.m.
I can't believe that there was an accident on Interstate 20 and everyone wants to slow down and be nosy. They are lucky I'm not driving because I swear to God. Irritated, I furiously took off my clothes, slipping on the conductor overalls getup and sliding on my thigh-high boots. I ferociously brushed my hair, watching as blonde strands fell to the seat.
I put on red lipstick and fiddled with my eyelashes. I might end up wearing this for nothing. All of this might be for nothing. Justin headed home at nine twenty seven and I'm cutting it so close right now that I can't breathe. This has to be one of the worst days of my life. Definitely in the top five.
"Can we please go faster? I am on a time crunch! Timeliness is godliness!" I screamed at the driver. I'm usually really nice to him but today I am not in the mood.
"If I had a monster truck, Kasey, I'd run over all of the cars but I don't so you will have to be patient." The driver eyed me from the rearview mirror and I huffed, crossing my arms. This costume didn't require a bra so I'm sure he's getting a nice view right now. "Costume party?"
"Sure." I gave a tightlipped smile.
11:32 p.m.
I'm two seconds from sobbing. Why me? Why in the hell does this have to happen to me? Why did I make the stupid decisions I have made? Why is this the longest and most terrible day of my life? Why? Why? Why?
"Come on!" I whined at the driver. I am going to fall into pieces. I could probably run to the destination faster than he is driving. Why are there so many cars this late at night? This is not New York! Goodness gracious. "Dude, I'm begging you."
"I'm going as fast as I can," the driver responded.
I sank down into the back seat in misery.
11:47 p.m.
It's official...I am doomed. I clutched the sides of my trench coat. The car came to a stop and I flashed my eyes open, my heart racing all over again.
"We're here so—"
I didn't even wait to hear the driver finish, throwing open the door and making a run for it. Adrenaline at a high, I ran for the apartment lobby and then past the elevator, instead taking the stairs two at a time. I don't have much time. I must make it before midnight I'm cutting it so close. He probably thinks I'm not coming. He's probably over me.
My heart clenched in my chest. Jeez! I flew up the final steps to Justin's floor and then I threw myself at his door, pounding on it so hard that everyone on all the floors can probably hear.
Justin threw the door open, looking at me in astonishment. "Kasey?" He blinked.
I looked down at the time to find that it's eleven fifty five. God damn it I freaking made it! I let out a breath in relief and then I started laughing hysterically, clutching my side as tears came out of my eyes. What an insane day. Next thing I know Justin will say it's too late and to get my crazy ass away from his door.
Whew God, I haven't run in a while. I bent over to catch my breath. "Hold on," I breathed, holding up my index finger. Shit, everything burns. When I finally caught my breath, I stood back up, swallowing. "Okay, hey, I told you I'd come. Today was the worst day you have no idea what I went through to get here."
Justin's lip twitched. "Oh?"
"So I haven't seen Richard in weeks so I couldn't break up with him because he wouldn't answer my calls then you and him got back on the same day but you came in before he did so I had your mother stall you for a couple of hours so you wouldn't come home and think I just wasn't going to come. Before that though she thought I was pregnant and I took a pregnancy test."
Justin gasped, reaching out to me. I shook my head.
"It was negative and then it made me sad? I mean at first I was relieved but then I was kind of angry because I mean yeah I kinda wanted a baby with you. Then I realized we ever talked about babies so maybe it was for the best. Anyways so I waited for Richard to get to the lab and I broke it off with him and we're cool now. I ran into the car and there was this accident on Interstate 20. We should have just taken Highway 187 but I wasn't driving. Then I ran here as fast as I could and Justin, please, I'm sorry I couldn't be here faster and—"
He pulled me flush to his chest and gave me a searing kiss that made my toes curl in my boots. Oh. Wow. "You came," he whispered. I nodded. "You thought you were pregnant..."
"I'm late and your mom was worried because I was nauseous but I was just stressed I haven't been sleeping. I'll be okay."
"I'm kind of sad too," he said, his eyebrows pulled in together.
"What?"
"I'd have wanted the baby, Kasey. I want lots of babies, at least five."
"F-five?" I screeched.
Justin nodded. "They'd be so beautiful, like you." He leaned in to kiss the corner of my mouth and I smiled. "So you're mine now, huh?"
"You didn't let me say my speech! I practiced!"
Laughing, he said, "Forget your speech. I forgive you, I love you, I want you. Take this trench coat off." He tugged at the tie that is holding it together.
"Wait, don't!"
He yanked it free, pulling it down my arms. He didn't look as the trench coat hit the floor because he was too busy staring at my boobs and then lower, lower, his eyes spotting the boots. "Holy shit," he hissed.
"The conductor says this train has no more stops. Is that okay with the passenger?" I teased, placing my hands on my hips.
"God damn, I'm...I'm perfectly okay with that."
"Good. Let me climb aboard," I said, my lips so close they almost touch his.
"You completely wreck me, Kasey. Your timing was terrible."
"Sorry, I'm a conductor in training." I smiled sheepishly.
Justin let out a deep rumble of a laugh, and I clenched my legs together. "Let me train you."
"Go fast...I'm an awfully quick learner," I purred.
Justin grabbed me by my hips and pulled me into his apartment, closing the door behind him.
"I'm sorry," I whisper as he trails kisses down my throat.
"I know," he breathed against my skin.
"I'll never put you through that again. I won't hurt you."
"Shh, baby, I know." He kissed me softly and I melted.
"Please, I can't take it if you think I'll hurt you."
"I needed what you did to me, believe it or not. I'm so used to getting what I want from women. You've humbled me and you've made me realize that there are some people in this world that you can't ever give up. I won't ever give you up."
"I won't ever give you up again."
"Good, now be quiet. This is why you're a terrible conductor because you talk so much." His lips moved to my ear and I shivered. "You can turn your train set off now."
"I can't wait."
Smiling mischievously, Justin grabbed a handful of my ass and squeezed.
I will probably never look at a clock again after the day I had. Or a train.