Chapter Thirteen
After I leave the hospital, I go to the beach. It is still dark but the sun glimmers slightly in the distance for it is reaching morning. I get out of my car and walk down the pier until I have reached the steps.
I have removed my shoes at the car so now, as I cross the beach to the waters edge, I can feel the sand sliding in between my toes. When I have reached the water’s edge, the waves brush at my ankles, pulling me, beckoning me to come with them.
The wind blows against my skin, sending a shiver and goosebumps crawling up my arms. I hug myself slighting, sliding my hands up and down the skin of my arms at attempt of warming myself.
I slightly wish I brought a coat.
The sun rises more and more each moment and I watch it. Soon I sit down, ignoring the chill that the water sends through me as I brushed my upper thighs and bottom.
I hear the sound of voices and look over my shoulder and find a girl and boy walking across the beach, they are holding hands and tucked in the crook of the boy’s arm is a blanket.
“Awe Brandon, we missed some of it.” The girl complains, stopping in her footsteps and looking sadly out at the horizon. He tugs on her hand slightly and smiles.
“There are always other days. Lets just watch the rest of this one, then we will come back another day.”
The girl smiles at his proposal and begins walking with him again. Right at the edge of the water they lay down their blanket and sit down, the girl snuggling close to the boy as he keeps his arm tightly around her.
My heart aches slightly at the sight and I turn away and back out at the sunrise. The rays from the sun shine onto the water, making it look like diamonds glistening across the surface.
I turn back around, glancing over my shoulder, only to stand and walk back to my car when I find the girl and boy making out on their blanket.
∞
How is he?
I sent this an hour ago, but have received no response from Xander which both irritates and worries me.
My mother calls me and reminds me that my birthday is tomorrow and I sigh, forgetting the ‘special’ day even was getting close.
“You are turning the big 17.” She exclaims. “Where did the time go? It feels like just yesterday I was changing your diapers!”
I smile slightly.
“But don’t go running off with a boy now.” She tells me, her voice joking but holding some seriousness.
“Mom-…”
“I am being serious, you can legally leave home and there isn’t anything I could do about it. But just remember, you couldn’t get far in your life for a year, couldn’t buy a house, a car-…”
“Mom,” I interrupt. “I’m not leaving. Kay?”
“Okay Honey.”
She asks me how school is and how everyone is doing. She didn’t know that Marcus and I had broke up and what he had done. She didn’t know that he was in the hospital, didn’t know what had happened, didn’t know anything.
“Well sweetheart, I will call you tomorrow. I love you and happy birthday.” She tells me and we hang up.
I sigh before getting in the shower and laying down in bed.
∞
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
That is all I here this morning. I am at my locker, grabbing my laptop and receiving more birthday wishes when I feel someone come up behind me and I turn, finding Rick standing behind me with a smirk.
“Hey Birthday Girl.” He says, winking at me and I can’t help but laugh.
“Hey.” I tell him and I look across the hallway and find his eyes on mine as Cassandra talks to him, placing a hand flirtatiously on his shoulder but his eyes are on me. I didn’t even know he had returned to school.
“You coming to my party tonight? You could think of it as I am throwing it especially for you.” He jokes and I laugh again, my eyes moving away from Xander and to Rick as he speaks.
“No, I don’t think so. Not tonight.” I tell him and he shrugs.
“I know what I could give you for your birthday present if you came. You liked the stuff I gave you last time, and you know… I am getting even more tonight…”
“She doesn’t want anything you have. Do you think she has a death wish?” Xander snaps, pushing past Rick and placing a hand protectively on my arm and I watch him with a glare.
“Whoa man, I don’t know who the hell you are,” Rick begins, laughing slightly at Xander’s outburst but Xander is doing anything but laughing.
“I am Xander Belk, don’t make me have to tell you twice. Stay away from her okay?”
Rick laughs again before shrugging.
“I won’t be staying away if she comes to me.”
“She won’t be coming to you. Trust me on that one.” Xander tells him, a silent promise in his words.
“You aren’t the boss of me.” I butt in, making Rick smile slyly before walking away.
“You aren’t to be around him.” Xander tells me, his eyes looking right through me and I pull away from him, making him look down to where his hand once was and then back to me.
“Who are you? The dad that left me? I don’t think so. So stop acting like it. What I do is no concern of yours.”
“It is every concern of mine.”
“Like hell it is. Why be concerned of the girl that almost made your brother die of alcohol poisoning?” I hiss and he flinches slightly.
“I was mad.. you aren’t responsible for that. It was his-…”
“You made and make me feel like shit. So don’t take back your words when you meant them.” I turn away from him but his hand falls on my arm, I turn around, my mouth open and ready to scowl.
“In the hospital, you told me you told Marcus that you were falling in love with someone else, who is it?”
Before I can answer the bell rings and I pull my arm away from him and walk to Mrs. Longwells.
∞
It is ten minutes before the bell rings to dismiss the students out of lunch when my name is called over the intercom. My name has never been called over that thing and when it is I am nervous as I stand from my seat slowly and walk from the room.
I walk down the hallway slowly, silently wondering what I was in trouble for. When I enter the secretary’s office she smiles at me with pity, which makes me even more confused and gestures to the principles office.
“He is ready to see you Cameron.” She tells me, her voice gentle and soft as I walk to his room.
When I walk in his hands on are on either side of his head, his elbows on his desk.
I clear my throat as I stand in the doorway, my stomach queasy and nervous. My hands have begun to sweat and I want nothing more than to run from the room.
“Aw, Cameron, come in.” he says, his voice I hoarse and he clears his throat. “Please shut the door if you will.” He tells me before I step into his office and take a seat in one of the plush red wooden chairs.
“Am I in trouble?” I ask him once I have sat down, my fingers twisting nervously in my lap.
His eyes snap to meet mine and guilt has filled them, making me feel like I am going to be sick.
“No, no certainly not Cameron.” He tells me quickly, taking a quick breath before looking away from me and running his hands through his hair, taking another deep breath.
He was a young man Mr. Willis was, he had dark hair that had only a few gray hairs, a face clear of wrinkles, and knew the latest style.
He was new at his job for it was his first year becoming a principle.
“Cameron… it is very hard for me to tell you this.. and I am very sorry… but your mother was killed in a car crash about an hour ago.” He tells me, his voice even more hoarse than it was before.
His words confuse me and I flinch slightly.
“Excuse me, what?” I choke, not sure if I heard him right but there was no way to hear him wrong.
“I am so sorry Cameron.”
“I am sorry Mr. Willis but you must be mistaken, my mother was at the hospital, she wasn’t coming home until next week…”
“She was on your way home for your birthday… she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt when a drive ran a stop sign and hit her side of the car… she was ejected…” He whispers and my stomach lurches and I hurry to leap for the trash can before emptying my stomach into the trash can. His hand is on my back is seconds, rubbing it slightly. When I am done he takes a step back and when I straighten I shake my head.
“I have to leave.” I whisper and he nods.
“I will sign you out.”
Just as he is saying this the bell rings and I walk out of his office numb. My whole body is shaking and is breaking into a sweat. People flow from the lunch room, pushing and shoving past me, tossing me around like a rag doll. Soon I am irritated and know I need to get out but I need my lap top.
I push them back when they push me and they look at me, stunned. I run through the hallway to Mrs. Longwell’s room, grabbing my things as the tears begin to fall, a sob even escapes from my throat. The students that have begun to fill the room one by one for their class watch me, asking each other what was wrong with me.
I ignore them and go to rush out of the room but Mrs. Longwell tries to stop me with an embrace but I push past her and run out of the room.
There are still people that fill the hallway and it is hard to get through still.
There is a set of birthday balloons floating near the ceiling, making their way through the hallway towards me. A girl carries them along with a bouquet of flowers with a smile on her face.
“Happy birthday Cameron!” she exclaims loudly, smiling but when she sees me her smiles fades. People look over because of her announcement.
She hands them to me and I go to push past her but I take them, the tears still falling.
“They are from your mother.” She tells me, trying to make me smile, but she is unaware of what is happening.
The anger and hurt from her words are like a punch to the face and before I can stop myself, my hands that had already formed fists, one is swinging towards her face, slamming into her cheek hard, making her fall to the ground.
Everyone that watches us watches with mouth gapping and before anyone can say anything, I am running through the hallway and out of the school.
∞
When I had finally returned home, it was a slap to the face. Everything, there was my mother, the furniture, the look, the smell, everything. It made everything worse. Everything.
I had ran straight to my room and flung myself onto the bed, letting the tears pour from my eyes, letting my body shake, letting everything just happen.
That was where I was now, laying on my bed in silence, for the tears and everything, have been let lose, now all there was, was shock, disbelief, and pain.
I had received many texts messages within the six hours I have been home. But one stood out to me the most. One from a particular person, their words, everything.
You are still invited to my party. I don’t care what that prick says. And judging by what happened, you will need what I have. I can help you Cameron.
His party started and hour ago.
I don’t change, I don’t fix my makeup, I do nothing but walk downstairs, staring at me feet, not daring to look at anything I pass.
I don’t bring my phone, I left it laying on my bed after I told him I would be there when I got there. There is no reason to bring it.
Mom wasn’t going to be calling to check up on me anymore, she wasn’t every coming home.
She died coming home for my birthday.
She died because of ME.
The pain of this is so painful I double over, holding onto either sides of my head, squeezing my eyes shut.
When the pain is bearable again, I begin walking, finally reaching the door and walking out it.
When I get into my car, I reach for my seatbelt out of habit, but remember his words.
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt…
If she didn’t wear hers, I won’t wear mine.
Some part of me wishes a drunk teenager would leave the party and hit me.
When I have finally reached the party, I numbly walk to the front door. When I enter, the kids that aren’t drunk, stare at me and whisper in hushed voices. I silently dare them, one of them to tell me they are sorry for what happened.
I will punch them like I did the girl at school.
“Where is Rick?” I ask a girl who I can tell is high, my voice I hoarse and empty, something I don’t recognize as my own.
“Down in the basement.” She giggles before realizing who she was talking to before she looks me in the eyes, a smile on her lips. “Nice punch today Cameron, that was awesome!” she tells me.
I ignore her before turning away and walking to the basement, just as I have reached the steps a hand lands on my arm and I turn and find Rick smiling.
“You came.”
“I need you to help me.” I tell him and he nods.
“I can do that.”
“I want everything.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t do that, mixtures with this stuff could be deadly.”
“You really think I could care less right now if I died or not?” I hiss and he watches me.
“I couldn’t live with myself knowing I let it happen.” He tells me, looking away from me.
“I want to be numb. I don’t care what it is or what I does, I just want the best thing.”
“The best if always the worst.” He warns me, pulling a syringe out of his pocket that holds and clear liquid.
“Like I said, I don’t care.”
He watches me a moment, reading me, before pulling a rubber-like bracelet from his pocket and sliding it up my arm and above my elbow, he brings the needle to my elbow before looking back into my eyes.
“Are you sure you-…”
“Do I have to do it myself or are you going to do it Rick?” I ask him and he smiles sadly before ejecting the needle. There is a slight pinch but then the whole area goes slightly tingly and cold.
When he had removed the needle I nod slightly, my version of a new smile.
“Thank you.” I tell him.
Before he can say anything, I press a kiss to his cheek, pat him on the shoulder before walking through the crowd and to the bar table. The room begins to sway before I can even sit on the stool and I slide slightly before laughing.
“Cameron?” someone says and I look across the table and find none other than Tucker himself watching me with sad eyes.
“Do they have you come to all their parties?” I ask him jokingly, thought there is no smile on my lips anymore.
“Why are you here…? Are you alright?” he asks me, his voice dripping with concern. He asks this just as his face begins to melt off and drips in droplets off his chin like wax. I stare in horror and this only makes him more worried.
“What have you taken?” he asks me quickly and I shake my head, his face returning to normal again and I shrug.
“Give me your strongest drink.” I tell him and he watches me, shaking his head quickly.
“No… I can’t…”
I ignore his words and climb across the counter and behind the counter. I grab a cup and before he can protest I quickly pour different liquids into the red cup, ignoring the way to cup wiggles like a worm on the counter and I miss it several times, making the drink splash onto the counter surface.
He grabs my arm as I havw filled the cup before I tip it back and drink the entire thing, unable to feel the burn of the drink and dissipointment fills me slightly. When I have tasted it I wince and look to Tucker.
“These things may be strong, but they taste like shit.” I tell him and he shakes his head sadly.
“Please stop Cameron…. I know that what happened-…”
“Don’t.” I tell him sternly, holing up my hand to stop him. “I promised myself I would punch anyone in the face if they told me they were sorry for what happened, don’t make the first person be you Tucker.” I tell him and he watches me. “Just let me drink tonight. Let me not feel a damn thing, wake up in the morning feeling like shit, and let me do it all over again. Okay?”
He watches me a moment before nodding slightly.
“I have been in your shoes… I lost both my parents… I did the same thing as you for a while.” He tells me and I wince.
“Like I said, don’t make me punch your lights out.” I tell him and I watch stunned as laser lights shine where his eyes should be and I laugh slightly, reaching out to put my hand in the line of lights.
He grabs my hand, leads me over to the stool around the side of the counter and returns behind it, grabbing my cup and pouring things inside.
Whatever Rick gave me is coming on strong and the drink I just chugged helped a lot. I can’t feel anything, and soon, I forget why I am here.
I lose count at five of the number of times Tucker refills my cup. I haven’t left the stool, just stayed and talked to Tucker. The drug has gave me side effects and hallucinations and I am afraid to leave my stool, not that Tucker would let me anyways.
“I heard you were here, I didn’t believe them.” I hear him say in my ear, his voice a gentle hiss. “Should I believe them about what else I heard?” he asks me, grabbing my arm and looking at the now purple mark in the crease of my elbow.
“You really think your mother would want you to be doing this things?” he snaps and before I can think I slap him. It is sloppy of course and not hard, I almost miss in fact and the blow makes me topple out of hi grasp and onto the floor. He does nothing but watches me, pulls me to my feet and allows me to lean on him when I cannot stand on my own, guilt in his eyes.
“Come on…. You are coming home with me. I don’t trust you by yourself.” He tells me gently, grabbing my hand. When I try to pull away I find his hand holding mine to tightly. I look to Tucker who watches me, he nods slightly, telling me to listen to Xander.
“I was going to bring her home with me when I left, but that is a while yet,” Tucker tells him and Xander nods.
“Thank you for keeping an eye on her. Even though you didn’t help much.” Xander says stiffly over the music as he gestures to the party cup in my hand, in which as he mentions it I reach out, grab it, and drink the rest before he can stop me.
“I was helping, I have been in her shoes once. You have no idea what it feels like.” Tucker says back, his voice filled with a meanness that makes me flinch.
“Please stop fighting.” I giggle and they both look to me, their gazes softening.
“Lets go.” Xander tells me and I look to Tucker, waving goodbye.
“Text me tomorrow or something, so I know you are okay, okay?” he tells me firmly and I nod with a smile.
Xander turns me around and I look to him with a goofy smile.
“A cute boy just told me to text him.” I giggle and he snorts, the sound making me laugh even harder so I stop in my few footsteps and he looks at me impatiently.
“Yes, cute. If he touches you I will kill him.” He snaps.
I stop laughing and glare at him, making him smile slightly but it fades quickly, as if he isn’t allowing it to show. Soon his nose I sliding off his face and his eyebrows are inching around like fuzzy caterpillars. I reach out to touch one but they keep moving.
“Come on, we are never making it out of here if you are walking.” He grunts, picking me up and pulling me to him.
I put my arm around his neck and snuggle into his chest, the smell of rain and cotton standing out against the stench of the party and I snuggle closer.
“I love you.” I whisper when we are outside and he is buckling me into my seatbelt. He stops and looks at me.
“You don’t mean it.” He tells me softly.
“My friend always told me that drunk words were true words.”I inform him and he snorts once more, turning back to buckling my seatbelt even though there is nothing left for him to do.
“My mom says it too.” I say and he meets my eyes and guilt fills his. “Crap! My mom! She is going to kill me if I show up like this, do you think you can cover for me? I could tell her I am staying at Sage’s.”
He watches me and I a confused slightly by his reaction and I open my mouth to ask him what is wrong but he just nods.
“Yea, you can stay with me sweetheart.”
He shuts my door and I remove my seatbelt.
I am asleep before he reaches his seat.
Hey There!
Okay, so I know this book is starting out like BAM! But please, stay with me on this!
I know it was a long chapter and had a lot in it and for that I am sorry but I hope you liked it for the most part!
Thank you for reading! :)