His best friend's a dick, and he brings a gun to school. He'd simply kick my ass if he knew the truth. He's really good with game hacks, his first name is Max. But he doesn't know who I am. And he doesn't give a damn about me.
'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby.
After the normally weird breakfast experience -- although the sexual advancement from Galm and Ze was certainly a small and unwelcome variation -- we all pack up and leave the house. Smarty gives Tom the usual doting before he leaves for work in the car. Tom doesn't complain, but we all know he rolls his eyes at it all. Galm and Ze are no longer being overly open as we begin the walk to school, holding hands lightly as we make conversation. I glance at them a bit sadly, trying hard to push out the image of holding Adam's hand. It's never gonna happen.
I shake my head slightly and focus on walking and talking. We make it to school at the same time as usual. As normal, we say our goodbyes at the door of the school and break off into our groups. Ze and Galm go one direction. I head in another, with Smarty walking behind me, not necessarily with me.
I break off and walk into my first period, sliding into my desk. Coach F greets me warmly, as always.
"How was your night?" I ask, because I know he was stressed yesterday.
"Much better than the previous, Anthony," he says. "Although I'm sure you've already picked up on that." I smile and nod, and he chuckles. It is true, though. I notice these kinds of things about people. I spend a lot of my time watching other people, and reading them just comes naturally. Perhaps that is another drawing point to Adam. I'm almost certain he does the same thing.
Once again, I am early. Coach F and I have a routine. We talk like we're friends before people show up, me going so far as to call him Jason, just as he calls me Anthony. We are on a first-name basis out of school. But when people begin filtering, our conversation turns from his wife and kids or my shenanigans at home to homework and my grade. I become Mr. Chaos and he becomes Coach F.
Adam is first to walk in, unlike in my routine. The smile I have on my face is not the normal, small expression, because I am laughing at a small joke from Coach F, smiling widely and genuinely. I quickly wipe my face of the smile, but not before Adam catches sight of it. He takes the seat beside me.
Not the routine.
My heartbeat speeds up immediately. He sits a few seats to my left, not one. He sits a few behind me, too, not none. Why is he breaching protocol? I call it protocol because that's basically what it is. The popular kid does not sit next to me. That's against the rules. Right? Right.
So why now?
I mean, I'm not complaining, but I am very curious and very confused. Sure, we've spoken a bit, but that was one day, not like a whole week! Coach F doesn't say anything, only smiles slightly, sure that I've made a friend, something he keeps bagging on me about, almost like a father would. Plus, he doesn't have assigned seats; no one in this class is bad enough to need it, and we all just sit wherever we feel.
And today, Adam feels like sitting next to me.
"Morning, Chaos," Adam says as he shrugs off his bag. I lick my lips nervously.
"M-morning, Montoya," I reply, aiming for smoothly, although I stutter a little. I smack myself mentally and then turn slightly red as Adam flashes that smile of his at me.
"How was your night?" he asks casually, even as people begin to filter in. "I saw you walking with your friends yesterday. Who was that girl with purple in her hair? I've never seen her around. I would remember someone like her." That statement makes me feel a little upset, simply because it shows, once again, that he is far from interested in the male population. Sure, Minx being a lesbian certainly makes me feel a bit better, but Adam doesn't even know that fact about her.
"Oh," I say, arranging the things on my desk. "Her? That's Michelle. She's a Junior at Bolton Prep." Adam nods and lapses into silence as the bell rings.
//--//--//--//--//--//
The day passes like any other, the only variation being Adam suddenly feeling like being near me in every class we share. He even spoke to Mr. Greene about getting his seat changed -- which he totally pulled off, because the next time I looked up, he was sitting next to me.
By the time lunch comes around, I am hopeful that he won't try to sit with me. Sounds strange, I know, but he is going to give me me heart attack. Everytime he looks at me, my heart give a painful thud. I don't know how much more I can take.
I walk by myself to lunch, this class -- also known as Personal Finance, the devil's class -- being the only one I don't share with Ze, Galm, Smarty, and-or Adam. As I go, my thoughts are consumed by my most recent encounter with Adam.
I sat in my desk for my Government class. Government. A senior credit. I only shared it with Adam, which was unfortunate for me today. He sat down in the desk next to me, making me look up. A bad decision. My heart started to race almost the instant we met gazes, and I looked past him instead.
"Hey, Chaos," he said. I nodded in acknowledgement and looked down at my textbook. No one else was here yet, not even the teacher. I was always earlier than her in this class, so I was slightly surprised that Adam was, too. Suddenly, my textbook was shut, but not by me. I looked up at Adam, startled.
"What are you--?" I was stopped by him leaning forward slightly. He was barely three inches or so from my face, his breath fanning across my skin, raising goose bumps, and I flustered as he lifted his left hand. I felt him brush my skin, and his fingers touched my hair right below the hat I wore, pulling back a moment later, a small ball of red between his fingers. My heart was pounding a mile a minute, and he sent me that devastating smile of his that made it stop and stutter back to life painfully.
"You had something in your hair," he murmured, before pulling away.
As I am reliving the moment, I suddenly run into someone in the near-empty hallway close to the cafeteria. I stumble back a few paces.
"I-I'm sorry!" I exclaim, catching my balance. "I didn't--" Before I can see who I ran into, I am shoved into the row of lockers to my left, and my back is pierced with pain from the metal jabbing me. I let out a yelp and try to move away from the source of my pain, but I find myself unable to, a hand being pressed against my chest to keep me still. I look up into the face of my attacker, and my heart drops.
It's Max Gonzalez.
I mentioned this earlier, but Max is Adam's best friend. They are almost always together, about as inseperable as Adam and Cathy, although you can tell Adam is much happier about that fact with Max versus with Cathy. I half expect to see Adam nearby, but I know, somehow, that if he was, Max would definitely not be pinning me against some lockers right now. I look over Max and register his glare of anger. This is not good.
Max has always been a sort of bully. The funny thing is that he's never been that to me. He is known throughout the school for it, but he is also known for being more of a merciful one. Nothing bad ever happens on the grounds of school, save for a little verbal abuse, so the fact that he has me pushed against lockers while glaring at me is not a good sign at all. Red flag. Warning bell.
"Anthony Chaos," he sneers. I find myself cringing away from his hostility, which remains without cause. Not that anyone that's hostile towards me already has a reason, anyway. It goes like this: my friends and I move in, it comes out that we're all pretty weird and that I'm the weirdest, and boom. Instant outcast. The reaction? The bullies attack. Surprise, surprise. They never have a real reason. The simple explanation for them is that what we do is wrong. But Max had never been that way. Not in public, anyway, or to my face. I'm not sure why, but that's how it was. The one guy I expected the most hadn't attacked.
So why now? Why, all of a sudden, after the thrill of being against me is no longer new, is he coming after me?
I don't get to debate this, as the next thing I know, I'm being pressed even harder against the lockers, drawing my mind back to the world, along with a yelp.
"What the hell are you playing at?" Max growls at me, and I go from scared to confused. What am I playing at? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"What are you talking about?" I say breathlessly, and I feel him lift me up higher by my shirt, which is, let me tell you, absolutely terrifying. I might be strangely tall and relatively heavy, but my feet are about half-a-foot off the ground. My heart is beating quickly with adrenalin, and my whole body seems to be alive with the desire to run. Fighting is not an option. I've never been in a fight that I've actually fought before, and that doesn't seem to be willing to change right this moment, despite the clear danger and inability to flee.
Fight or flight? More like flight in fright...
"Don't play dumb with me, you--" He pauses and seems to restrain his words. "Don't you fucking play dumb," he amends. "You know what I mean." The hostility in his eyes is real, not exaggerated. He actually believes that he has a cause. He believes I've done something to deserve this.
And maybe I have. But that has nothing to do with him, so I say, "No, actually, I don't."
"Adam," he spits, "what are you doing talking to Adam?" He glares at me even more, if possible, and suddenly, it clicks, and I understand.
"You're jealous," I say incredulously, and suddenly, pain explodes in my stomach. My breath expels from my lungs with a soft grunt, and I slide down to my knees as he let's go of me, clutching my stomach, one palm on the ground to keep myself up. His hand is on my arm, then, and he hauls me to my feet, grabbing another handful of my shirt to pull me face to face with him, my eyes fearful and his flaring in anger.
"I'm not jealous," he growls. "I'm pissed off. He doesn't talk to people like you. You do not belong here. You or your friends. You're lucky I haven't gotten you." He pushes me away from him, and I stumble, ramming my back into the lockers again. "Stick with your stupid little gay ass group. And don't let me catch you talking to him again. Because if I do, the whole nice thing? Poof. Gone." With those threatening words, he turns on his heel and walks down the hallway, turning the corner to go to the cafeteria.
My mind races as I rest my head against the lockers behind me, breathing a sigh of relief before wincing at the pain in my stomach. What the hell was that all about? I push away from the lockers after a moment, my back sore and my stomach aching. Great. I begin down the hallway as well, turning to the cafeteria entrance with dread. Hopefully the guys won't notice anything. Breathing is a little difficult, which I dread will give me away. I send a prayer to whatever god-slash-goddess may be listening as I walk in and towards the line, which is still going.
//--//--//--//--//--//
I'm unsure if it was my blind faith or my friends' lack of attention towards the state of my breathing, but none of them notice anything awry. The only thing they do notice is my slight lateness, which is uncharacteristic. I love food. Therefore, my favorite time of the school day is lunch, primarily.
"Dude, you're late," Smarty complains as I sit down at the table.
"And you're annoying," I retort with a smile, making Smarty huff.
"Seriously, something happen?" Galm, who is shoveling his salad onto Ze's plate, asks me. I shake my head.
"Not really," I lie. "Just had to talk with Coach F for a second. He wanted me to help him grade some of the sophomore tests. Not a big deal." Ze looks at me in slight disbelief before Galm captures his attention by asking for his pepperoni, which he easily gives up. I sigh inwardly, grateful that the other two believe me.
"So, about Prom," Galm says slowly, making Ze, Smarty, and I groan. He holds his hands up apologetically.
"Sorry, sorry," he says. "But it has to be discussed." Smarty rolls his eyes, I sigh and rest my forehead on the table, and Ze lets out another groan.
"What is there to talk about?" Smarty asks irritably. "I'm going with Tom for maybe an hour. You and Ze are going together. And Chilled will go..." He trails off and glances at me, suddenly nervous to speak.
"Alone," I finish drily. "And likely back within an hour after you and Tom leave, so you two can have some alone time." Smarty flushes and I laugh in amusement, along with Galm and Ze.
"Hey, you could ask Adam," Smarty replies, making me glare at him. "You two are getting awfully close. Have you had sex yet?" My face reddens as I swat at him.
"Have sex with who?" a voice says from behind me, and I spin around to see Adam. My heart pounds wildly, just as it had before, but for a much more agreeable reason. Why does he have to have such a sexy fucking smile?
"With--" I send a glare to Smarty, who is cut off by a kick from Galm, thank God.
"With his girlfriend," Ze amends quickly, and I send him a look of mixed thanks and dread. What if he asks who it is? I didn't exactly have many friends here, let alone any that would claim to be my girlfriend.
"Oh," Adam says softly, and I turn around in time to see him turn and walk away, heading towards his table with Max and Cathy waiting for him.
I tune out the rest of the conversation, glad that none of them bother me about it, allowing my mind to drift freely. All I can think about is Adam's one-word response, trying to puzzle it out.
Did he actually sound...disappointed?