– Terra –
"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but dinner was a bad idea." Abby says, rubbing her stomach in a rotational pattern.
"I think I'm going to have to agree." I say, holding back a burp.
We remain seated and neither of us decides to move. I look at the empty pizza boxes and greasy plates stained with smoky barbecue sauce, not daring to calculate the amount of calories that we have unintentionally consumed while binge watching Friends. It was when Abby reached for the final slice that we discovered the horrifying truth of our poor self-control.
We ordered enough for three grown men and planned on saving some for tomorrow. What happened?
"Looks like I'm going to have to give Zumba a miss tonight." Abby drones, checking the time. "I doubt my gut can digest all that junk in less than an hour."
"You said you were going to eat two slices." I say, throwing my head back and staring at the ceiling, feeling my face turn green, if that is possible.
"You said you were only going to have three." She talks back.
"Right. How did we end up eating three boxes and another carton of hot wings?" I mumble, feeling something rise up to my throat. I take a deep breath, monitoring my breathing. Overeating is a horrible feeling, it really is.
Abby props her elbows against the table, stacking the empty boxes on top of one another, preparing to throw them out.
"The sooner we get rid of the evidence, the sooner we can pretend we didn't completely destroy our diets." She says, lifting them away from the table.
"Good plan." I agree, proceeding to clear the plates. My stomach produces a weird sound the minute I stand up, and I start to feel sick again.
The cheesy aftertaste, a flavor that I would have savored otherwise, lingers a lot longer than I prefer. All I want to do now is lay on the couch and peacefully wait for the regretful feeling to subside.
"So are you really going to skip Zumba tonight?" I ask casually, reaching for the square yellow sponge while turning on the tap by the kitchen sink.
"I think that would be the smarter choice." Abby says, emptying the trash. "Besides, I do feel a lot better, so I'm not in desperate need for an intense distraction or anything."
"Good." I beam, my voice drowned out by the sound of running water.
"Mm-hmm, I'm doing better now, I'll be fine." She says reassuringly without a hint of sorrow in her tone. "I've been spending the week contemplating, and I think it'd be ridiculous to cry about it any further."
"Uh-huh." I nod, arranging the dishes on the wooden plate rack to dry.
"I mean, sure I was really heartbroken, but maybe it was also my fault for assuming Luke to feel the same way. I should've been aware of all possibilities." She shrugs, now leaning against the fridge. "I don't think I'll be ready to go guy-hunting again though."
"You should consider spending time with yourself." I suggest automatically. "Go do the things you want to do, take yourself onto a pampering trip or something."
"Ooh, like a mani-pedi?" her eyes begin to sparkle with excitement as she extends her hands to check her slender nails. "I've been wanting to get mine done for a while now."
"Yeah, do stuff like that." I encourage. "Or go on a mini getaway with good company."
"It's the summer, of course." She smiles suddenly. "We should go to the beach!"
"That sounds fun." I say, feeling excited myself. "It'll be like the last time back in senior year."
"You mean how you got washed away by the ocean waves and almost got your bikini top stolen by a fluffy doggy?" she laughs.
"Don't repeat that story." I snap, feeling embarrassed from just thinking about it. "This time, I'll be wearing a shirt or something."
"No, you can't do that, it's boring." She whines. "We gotta strut our good stuff and holler at the cute guys, then bring our binoculars and stake out for A-plus washboard abs."
"Oh my God, we'll be such stalkers." I laugh at the idea, imagining Abby and I hiding behind tall palm trees and bushes in the golden sun, whispering code words to each other that only we can understand.
"But it's a good idea, right?" she pokes. "C'mon, we should feast our eyes on some jaw-dropping hotties."
"What happened to not going guy-hunting?" I raise a questioning brow.
"It's just eye-candy for now." She says, barely giving a convincing excuse. "We could invite Clarice and Martha too, or any other girls who are up for it. Yes, it has to be an all-girls trip, no guys allowed."
"Even if the guys have A-plus abs?" I tease.
"Okay, that's an exception." Abby says shamelessly. "If you know anyone like that, please bring them along. Tell them it's for research."
"Research?" I make a face.
"Yes, strictly research." She nods vigorously while folding her arms across her chest, pretending to look serious. "We should arrange one as soon as possible. How does this weekend sound?"
"Any time before we go back home for a visit is great." I say, mentally counting down to the day I'll see Mom and Dad's face again.
"Then it is decided." Abby squeals, unable to contain her overflowing exhilaration. "I should give Clarice and Martha a call. Ooh, maybe they'll know someone who is A-plus!"
"How does one even find that out?" I think aloud. "Do they lift their shirts to check or something?"
"Don't be silly, any girl can tell what is beneath a guy's shirt just by looking." She says cheekily, seemingly referring to her own observation.
"Really?" I ask, feeling naïve. "I should pay more attention."
"You really should." She replies instantly as if she has been waiting all day to say it.
Abby whips her phone up from her pocket and starts dialing some numbers. I leave her to it and drag myself towards the couch, feeling ten pounds heavier after every step. I start crafting a low-calorie diet plan to compensate for overindulging, beginning to feel guilty again. If I don't do something about this, I can kiss that beach getaway goodbye.
I shut my eyes for a brisk moment, unintentionally eavesdropping as Abby chats away chirpily on the phone with first Martha, then Clarice. By the sound of things, they are also onboard with the idea, and it seems like Clarice may know some A-pluses, after all.
I won't tell Abby this, but the sight of half-naked men glowing in the sun doesn't really entice me. Of course, I can see how they are nonetheless aesthetically pleasing, but perhaps I'm still yet to warm up to the idea of goggling at men and their apparently God-sent (as quoted by Abby) beauty.
Maybe I should start paying attention. Abby does always make it sound like I'm missing out. Then again, it's Abby.
Stealthily, I turn to my phone and start Googling for photos of beach bodies. Maybe I can start virtually. I tap on the screen and feel my face burn hot when an endless page of provocative men start screaming for attention.
Why are they posing like that?
Oh good Lord.
What am I doing?
"What are you looking at?" Abby sneaks up from behind and I jump, accidentally dropping my phone in the process.
"N-N-Nothing." I stammer, racing to pick it up before she does. If she finds out the images on the screen, she'll start setting me up with bad ideas. "Um, so what did they say?" I ask, diverting the attention.
"Well, Clarice is stoked, but Martha has got to check her schedule first." She says, sitting on edge of the couch. "I'm pretty sure she'll say yes. What kind of girl would turn down that offer, right?"
"Right." I fake a toothy smile, hastily navigating away from Google images.
"Since I won't be going for Zumba tonight, what do you want to do?" she asks, stretching her back.
"I don't want to do anything right now, not until I feel the pizza dissolve from my system." I mutter against the pillow.
"Oh, I know, let's Google for some cute guys." Abby suggests, and I feel my entire body tense. Are cute guys all Abby ever think about, even after a heartbreak?
"You haven't taken out the trash yet." I interject.
"Geez, fine, I'll do it now." She rolls her eyes, walking towards the bag unwillingly. "But as soon as I'm back, we'll do what I just said, no objections."
"Whatever." I drone, shutting my eyes again.
I hear Abby put her slippers on while the door swings open. I expected it to close within a second after she leaves, but strangely, it doesn't.
"Luke?" Abby says, and I jolt awake upon hearing it. Bewildered, I sit upright on the couch, sneaking a look. My eyes widen when I see Luke standing in front of her, his hair appearing disheveled and his white shirt faintly damp from some sweat.
"I'm sorry." He blurts immediately, his voice shaky as he tries to catch his breath. So he was running.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, sounding confused.
"Please listen to me." He pleads.
"What are you–"
"A-About that night," he interrupts, "About what I said, I was wrong, and I was stupid. I didn't mean it, I mean, I didn't mean what I said when I said I didn't mean it."
Eh?
"Slow down." Abby says, putting the bag down.
"Look, I'm sorry, really." He says, his voice clearer this time. "I know I said that I didn't like you, but...but that's not true, okay? I only said that because...b-because the truth is, I really do, and I was afraid of what might happen if you dated me. Like, I don't want to hurt you, that's all."
"You're not making sense." She says, shaking her head. "You hurt me even more by rejecting, do you know that?"
"No, it's complicated." Luke races to explain, but I can tell it is difficult for him to put it into words. "I'm afraid that if we date, I might do things that will hurt you much more than a rejection. I wanted to make sure that you'll be with the man you deserve, and I didn't think I was the right one at that time. It's not that I don't like you Abby, I actually really, really do."
I don't know why, but I find myself to be holding my breath. My pulse quickens and I feel like an audience watching a romantic movie in a cinema, except this is live-action.
"I-If I'm not the right one for you, then I'm willing to let a better man come in and sweep you off your feet, at least maybe he can love you the way you deserve to be loved." Luke says sadly, looking to the ground for a split second, then instantly locking eyes with Abby again. This time, he looks determined, and I brace myself, even though it won't be directed to me.
"But I decided." Luke says firmly, his voice still quaking slightly, but his willpower is more evident than before. "I decided that if I'm not good enough for you, I'll do whatever it takes to be good enough. I decided that I'm going to do my best not to hurt you, and if I do, I promise to make it up the best way I know how. As selfish as I may sound right now, I decided that I'd rather be the one who will make you cry and do whatever is in my power to fix it than let someone else hurt you. I'd rather you be hurt with me than be hurt with someone else."
I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat, getting emotional from hearing this myself.
"I've said it." Luke mutters, speechless now from exerting so much. He heaves a heavy sigh, and I can tell that he is resisting, except I don't know what. "I'm sorry for making you cry, but if you're okay with it, please give me a chance to make it up to you."
There is a pin-drop silence in the room and I hear my heart drum loudly in my ears. Abby, what will you say?
From where I am, I can't see Abby's face at all. Is she angry, touched, sad, or happy? Are there tears streaming down her face, or are her eyes distant, confused, and unsettling?
Just then, I catch a glimpse of her taking a step forward. It was sudden, quick, enough to catch him off guard. I watch as Abby dives into his arms, and they are locked in an embrace. She didn't have to say anything. There are no words needed, after all.
I hear quiet sobs, and that is really all I can hear for a while. On an ordinary night, the sight of Abby tearing would be concerning, but this isn't an ordinary night. Tonight, she is sobbing in the arms of a man who ran a long distance to see her, to hold her and love her the way she had been secretly praying in her bedroom before bed.
She never wanted all that eye-candy or A-plus abs. All she really wanted was Luke.
I sink silently back into the couch, making sure to stay out of their sight and pretending to be asleep, in case they see me at all. I feel relieved. Abby will finally stop hurting now.
Despite the good news, despite the celebratory feeling I have for my friend, there is a part of me that is aching. It feels as if there are thin strings pulling against each other inside my chest, struggling to untangle itself. I am happy for her, I should be happy for her, but I can't deny the overwhelming loneliness I'm starting to feel from witnessing their affection.
I wish someone could hold me like that too.
xxx
Chapter visual credit: favim.
A/N: Now that Luke and Abby has got their little story told, it only means that Zach and Terra are going to progress even more from here. Also, we don't have many chapters left until we reach the Epilogue. According to my hopefully-not-faulty calculation, SE will come to an end in May. WOW that's fast x'D it felt just like yesterday when I started writing it.
Anywho, this chapter is dedicated to CrazyFREDlover, thank you for your reads and votes, and also your comments, really appreciate it <3
Thank you all for reading! See you all in the next chapter :D
imperfectdreamer