|Van|
I never thought that my heart could actually hurt seeing someone that has nothing to do with me, broke down and cry the way Vienna did. Her eyes were squinting like she was letting go of every ounce of pain in her. I wanted to hold her longer. I wanted her to feel okay. Funny enough, that wasn't my business at all.
To my surprise, Vienna managed to bounce back into her usual I-am-okay-and-happy version of herself in no time. I didn't know how she did it. It would take me days to get my mood right if I was that messed up.
Vienna was smiling again when we entered the convenience store. I thought she faked it really well. Well enough that she should receive an award for it.
"A pack of American Spirit, yellow, please," Vienna told the guy behind the counter while I wander around to look for some bananas.
"That'll be 17.50."
"Thanks."
"You paid that much for a pack of cigarettes?" I asked with furrowed brows. Ignoring my question, Vienna smiled to herself and walked out of the store. I quickly paid for my bananas and joined Vienna outside to smoke.
"It's made of organic tobacco," she murmured, as her hand reached for a lighter in her jacket.
"So, those are healthy fags," I chuckled.
"Something like that. They don't put as much chemicals in these," she said, flashing out the pack so I could see them.
"If they put little chemicals, shouldn't they cost less, not more?"
"They put saltpeter in yours. Your cigs will burn out quickly, so you'll smoke more, not less and at the end of the day, yours will cost more than mine," she muttered, with a fag sticking out between her lips, ready to be lit.
"Vienna, I think you're actually paying for the nice packaging. Those pretty vibrant colours and some reassuring ideas about your life. The rest are just bullshit," I whined.
"Oh, wanna bet?" She raised her eyebrow at me.
"Sure."
"50 bucks."
"I have 50 american dollars with me," I chuckled.
"Ha! Easiest money I've ever made," she proudly announced.
"Don't be too cocky, lass." I gestured at her with my right hand while my left hand worked their way into my pockets to find my pack of fags.
"Okay, we are gonna inhale at the same time for the same amount of time," she said.
"Okay. Got it," I gave her a thumb up.
"Okay! One, two, three!" We both faced each other and lit our fags at the same time. We inhaled and exhaled in unison as we leaned our sides on the concrete wall.
"Uhm, Vienna... I never really apologized for what happened at ACL..." I told her, but she did a hold up sign and asked me to smoke since she was inhaling hers.
"What about ACL?" She asked when she finally exhaled.
"The things I said to you..."
"Forget it Van. Just to make you feel good, a quarter of the things you said were in a way very true," she murmured.
"Just a quarter?" I smirked.
"Yeah. Just a quarter," she giggled. "Smoke!" She reminded me.
"Oh! Right. Are you okay though?" I thoughtfully asked her.
She nodded and her eyes began to wander towards the Asian restaurant next to us, slightly peeking over my shoulders so she could see it.
"It's my mom's favourite," she pointed at it. I finally understood why she looked so broken a few minutes ago. But, I needed to understand her more.
"You don't like talking about your dad, do you?" I finally let the question slipped through my tongue.
She looked down at her shoes for a few seconds and her eyes met mine again.
"My dad... My parents... They divorced when I was six. But, somehow, they never really moved on from each other. It's complicated. Dad got married to someone from the office and mom, well, she was a wrecked. It's... I don't know how to say it. I just hate what my dad did to my mom," she sighed. I watched her face and saw the same expression she had earlier. It was of pain and numbness. I really felt bad for her. I only nodded in response as we continued to smoke.
"Look at that!" Vienna laughed when she saw my fag about to burn out, while showing off hers which was still half of its original length.
"No!" I chuckled. "Okay, I guess you're right then," I told her, as I reached for my wallet at the back pocket of my jeans and took out fifty dollars for her.
"No, come on." She shook her had, refusing my money. "It was for a pure pleasure of me being right and you being wrong," she said.
"Ah, come on. I never welsh on a bet," I moaned.
"I'm not gonna take it," she shook her head, laughing.
"I'll tell you what. Next five packs of your fancy fags are on me. Deal?" I extended my hand out for a handshake, to which she stubbornly refused to take. I waved my arm in front of her face so she would take it and she giggled.
"Well, alright then," she finally resigned, shaking my hand as we both made our way back to the tour bus.
"So, are you excited to see Emily? Larry told me she's flying in tomorrow."
"Yep. I initially wanted to bring her to New York but I just thought she might like the weather here more. She's Briton. She can't resist hating the gloomy weather. She'd hate New York," I chuckled. My heart flustered at the mention of my girlfriend's name. I just missed her so much.
"Is she your college sweetheart or something?" Vienna asked, tilting her head at me.
"Yeah, something like that," I laughed, remembering how Emily and I met. I was at a pub in Llandudno with Larry and she was there with her mates. I offered to buy her a drink and we both got really drunk. We ended up locked in the toilet after we broke the door handle while shagging in one of the cubicles. I had to climb up so I could open the door from the outside but I fell hard on the floor instead, breaking my pinkie. That was by far the most memorable after sex experience of my life. It's not everyday that you broke a pinkie for a girl.
"What's so funny?" Vienna asked, when she noticed I was still laughing to myself.
"Nothing." I told her. "I'm just excited."
"Aww, how sweet," she mocked me.
"What about you? You're flying back to New York, right? Excited to see Seth?" I nudged her shoulders.
"Uhm, yeah," she replied unenthusiastically.
"Wow, what a spirit," I laughed. "Don't you miss him?"
"I do. I am just not sure if he misses me," she sulked.
"Why'd you say that?"
"My relationship with Seth... It's not all sweet like yours and Emily. It's different," she exhaled.
"Different how?" I asked her. She then bit her lip, like she was contemplating if she should tell me more about herself. One thing I learned about Vienna, she's always mindful of her words, especially when it was about herself. She's the type who'd have her words properly thought out before she spit it out. A total opposite of myself. I'd always say things which I sometimes ended up regretting seconds later.
"We are open-ended," she finally spoke.
"Does that mean that he can date whoever he wants and you can date whoever you want?" I was bewildered. What was the point of being together then?
"No, not like that. I mean, at least not for me. I wont do that to him. Not ever," she animatedly said, staring into the streets which was beginning to be filled by passersby.
"But? Did he do that to you? See other people and stuff?" I asked her with furrowed brows.
She gave me a sad smile and nodded. Oddly enough, my heart ache a little at the thought of her being hurt. I then finally understood what she meant when she said she'd never want to get married. All the things her dad did, all the things her boyfriend did - there were all contributing factors. I really felt bad for her. Vienna was a nice person. She was insightful, talented and fun to be with. Any lad would agree that she was breathtakingly beautiful at first glance, insanely stunning after many glances. I knew Benji would agree to that statement. "Fucking hell," I sighed.
Vienna glanced over and blinked a couple of times. She looked confused by my reaction.
"I know this is none of my business, but, you're too good for him then," I muttered.
"So, I've been told. I don't think anyone on earth would understand our relationship," she swallowed. "Ours is just like my parents'..."
"You don't want that! Hey, trust me, there is a guy out there who'd give you all the love in the world that you deserve because you're class and you do not deserve to be treated like you don't matter," I mumbled.
"Thanks, but you barely know me, Van. You would take back your words if you know me," she laughed.
"Don't you two ever sleep?" Dan yawned at the door of the bus, staring at Vienna and I.
"Mornin' sunshine!" I greeted him. Larry then darted out from behind of Dan, sheepishly smiling at me.
"Fun morning?" Larry chuckled. I shook my head, understanding that he'd probably thought I had shagged Vienna. But Larry knew I would never cheat on Emily. Fun flirting, maybe. But not cheating. I was not that kind of man.
The day went on like how it usually would before any other shows - radio interviews, soundcheck, more interviews, saying hi to fans before gigs.
The Echo was packed that night and I was buzzing to perform in front of an audience of such class. I was smoking in the changing room after our gig with Larry. It was some sort of my post-gig rituals. I would then come out to say hi to our fans before we headed off to the bus or hotel.
I was meeting fans outside when I was approached by a familiar looking girl. I sworn I have seen her somewhere. Vienna was outside too, taking photos of us meeting our fans while Dan and Larry were on a lookout like they were our bodyguards or something, which I thought was funny.
"Hi, Van! Remember me? We met outside of MilkBoy in Philly..." She grinned.
"Ah! Right! I remember you!" I told her. "What are you doing in LA?"
"I am from here," she smiled. She then took a peek at someone behind me. Her eyes grew wider when she was scrutinizing the person behind me. I turned around and found Vienna standing behind me, talking to Larry.
"Vienna?" The girl called out.
"Lucy?" Vienna responded. Right! Her name was Lucy! The one who gave me her number on a paper. "What are you doing here?"
"I went to the gig, duh! What are you doing in LA?" She asked her, running towards Vienna for a hug. Even though it was dark, I could see that Vienna was not ecstatic to see the girl.
"I work for them," Vienna replied.
"Ah! No fucking way! So are you guys like friends? On tour? Together? Does that mean that we can hang out?" Lucy happily exclaimed, clapping her hands.
"You guys know each other?" I interrupted.
Vienna was still staring blankly at Lucy.
"She's my sister," Lucy grinned.
"Oh! You're her sister! Vienna! Why didn't you tell me!" I said, giving Lucy a hug. To my surprise, they look nothing alike.
"No! I don't think it's a good idea to hang out."
I have no idea why Vienna was being cold towards her sister. She looked really uncomfortable to see her sibling.
"We can hang out. I mean, she's your sister," I smiled.
Vienna shook her head and abruptly walked away. Lucy was surprised by her reaction, which obviously saddened her.
"Don't worry. My sister is like that," Lucy said.
I suddenly felt bad for her. I have never seen Vienna reacted in such manner, so it was surprising for me to see her like that too.
"I guess I'll see you around," Lucy sighed.
"Hey, if you ever come to our gigs again, we'll hang out, okay?" I offered her.
"Really? You're the best Van!"