Frat boy Harry circled us, running his long fingers along his lips that always seemed to be turned up in a knowing smug smirk as he observed all the other Harrys at my side, nodding to himself and chuckling while exchanging looks with his friends in the crowd.
"Woah, check it out, this one's even got a gun, can I hold it?" He asked with a childish smile, pointing at Assassin Harry's weapon before he tried to reach out for it only for Assassin Harry to grab his wrist, spinning him around and pinning it in a painful angle behind his back before placing the gun at his head.
"I'll take that as a subtle maybe..." Frat Harry offered, wincing a bit as I placed my hand on Assassin Harry's tense shoulders, giving him a small nod to let the other Harry go which he followed with an irritated grunt, pushing Frat Harry away.
"What a grip... I like you." Frat Harry chuckled, turning his sore wrist, the toothpick still placed between the side of his lips before his amused green eyes flickered to me.
"Ugh, look at me being a terrible host." He suddenly pouted in an over exaggerated tone, placing his hands on his chest, his gaze trained on me before he turned and looked over the crowd of frat boys and sorority girls awaiting his words.
"Now is this anyway to treat our guests?" He asked the sea of people, bringing his arms up in the air at his sides as they all screamed "hell no" back at him in unison, fists raised high in the air while some college students in the back hollered with their hands cupped to the sides of their mouths.
"Especially to this sweet little thing right here, what's your name babe?" Frat Harry smirked, turning back to me with hooded eyes, ready to sling his arm around my shoulders before his wrist was caught by all three of the other Harrys behind me before he could so much as touch me while they all pointed their weapons at him.
Frat Harry's smile didn't falter as he let out a low whistle, tilting his head to the side as he raised his brows at me.
"Babe, mind telling the three musketeers back there to chill yeah?" He requested in a calm smooth voice, actually using the pointer finger of his free hand to lower one of the blades that were pointed in front of his face down with a smug dimpled grin.
"Name's Liza," I told him, studying him as I turned my head to look behind me, signalling the others to let him go and lower their weapons as they hesitantly followed.
"Linda, that's great, walk with me." Frat Harry said, rubbing his hands together before snapping his fingers, the music immediatly starting before the crowd of people went back to dancing like nothing ever happened as I watched him dip his head down to a bubbly brunette, his voice low before he nudged his head to the other Harrys behind me while she giggled and nodded obediantly.
I turned around to find a bunch of loud scandally dressed girls attacking the three Harrys behind me, squealing and giggling making Assassin Harry grit his teeth in annoyance.
Psycho Harry smirked, licking his lips and letting the girls run their hands on his broad chest and soft long hair while Prince Harry attempted to follow me, the other girls immediatly going in front of him to block his way catching him off guard.
"I'll be fine! Just don't kill anyone and don't drink anything!" I yelled at them over the music, trying to go on my tiptoes as the cluster of people between us began to grow, separating us before I felt a strong arm casually sling around my shoulder, my body pulled against Frat Harry's warm bare chest as he smirked down at me with a mischevious look in his eyes.
"I owe you babe, I really do. Not only are you wearing that cute little mini skirt where I can get a perfect view of your ass and legs, but you also brought my other clones to me, and lemme tell you, they're way cooler than the ones my other friends caught for me." He chuckled as I walked underneath his arm while he ushered me through the loud overbearing frat house, the crowd of people moving out of our way making sure not to bump into him as my eye twitched at his words.
I brought my feet to a halt, stopping the both of us making Frat Harry turn to look down at me with a confused expression before I stepped forward and stood in front of him with gritted teeth.
"Listen here buddy, I'm usually not this snappy and not gonna lie, I've fantasized over you since forever but if you think that I came here to bring you your other versions of you, you got another thing coming and I know I just said the word you a lot but I don't care. And another thing!" I ranted, propping my leg up high against the wall of the hallway in front of him making his green eyes go wide with excitement as I lowered my knee high sock in one pull.
"Oh wow... you're really... hairy..." He said with a mixture of disappointment and disgust on his face.
"Exactly-" I said, my whole body tensing in surprise when Harry grabbed my leg from the wall, pulling it until our bodies were pressed together as he made me wrap it around his waist before he turned me and pinned me against the wall.
"I dig that." He breathed, the tip of his nose brushing along the skin of my neck as his grip tightened slightly on my thigh while two things ran in my head at that exact moment.
One, if this is how he acted with hairy legs then he'd be fucking ecstatic to see what's down under.
Second, I was getting real tired of being pinned against something like a fucking poster everywhere I go.
"I should thank you properly, shouldn't I?" Harry said in a husky voice, snapping me out of my thoughts when he placed his other hand against the wall near my head, caging me in as he smirked, the toothpick still pressed to the side in between his soft lips.
"Oh my god I'm having an asthma attack!" I wheezed, beginning to hypervenilate with wide eyes, breathing in air loudly in large gasps making Harry stumble back away from me in confusion.
"You have asthma?"
"No but you're really fucking hot! Just gimme a sec!" I choked out, placing my hand on the wall hunching over like an elderly man trying to catch his breath as I tried to regain my regular breathing.
"Alright, I'm good. Okay no more pinning me like a tail on a donkey cause my heart ain't ever gonna be prepared for that spontaneous fanfic shit, just please stop making this complicated. Why do you even want the other Harrys I mean seriously." I panted out, trying to swallow as I wiped a bead of sweat from the side of my forehead.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, it's all about business." He tsked, walking in front of me as he took the toothpick from his mouth, bringing it out for a random pretty girl in the crowd of people as she took it into her mouth without even questioning it, swooning as he walked passed her without a glance and yelled for someone.
"Chad!"
"Yeah?" A guy in a pale blue polo shirt and khaki shorts emerged from the dancing bodies, immediatly going to Harry's side like an obediant puppy as Harry turned and smirked at me, slinging his arm around his tall friend.
"Chad, tell our little friend here how we found the other me's." Harry ordered in a casual tone, not even giving his full attention to the situation as he nodded at a few people in the hallways with a dimpled grin.
"Oh yeah, okay so we were like, chillin with a couple of hot chicks that were gonna bone and then-"
"Fast forward a bit buddy." Harry said, grabbing the red cup out of Chad's hand as he threw his head back and downed the contents.
"Oh, well Harry and I were going to seven eleven after fucking those girls and then I saw a guy who looked just like him. I was like bro, that bro looks just like you." Chad said with excitement, his blue eyes wide like he just snorted a pound of cocaine as I watched him.
"And I was like bro, no way man." Frat Harry said besides him.
Cringe.
Cringing to the max.
"Yeah, this Harry was hanging out with some guy who actually looked like you but with a mustache." Chad laughed, pointing at me as my eyes widened at his words.
Cupcake Harry.
"Anyways, I thought this was going to be a whole Parent Trap bullshit starring me, myself, and I- ever heard that song, great song by the way- but then my other friends called me up and told me they found two other guys that looked just like me in a Target parking lot, like how fucking sick is that." Harry said, raising his arms as I grit my teeth.
"So what, you're gathering them all together, aren't you even questioning the fact that there's more than one you that exists?" I prodded as he gave me a lazy shrug in response, a careless dimpled smile plastered on his perfect face before exchanging a knowing look with Chad.
"No no honey," Frat Harry smirked, placing his long pointer finger over my pressed lips with a wink before bringing it back to his own lips in a "hush" gesture.
"We don't question blessings, we accept them or take advantage of them. And that's exactly what I'm doing here, Chad, get a drink for my friend." He said, roughly patting his friend's back, sending the guy away before I could open my mouth and protest as Harry tugged me to his side again.
"Business babe, this place right here may not be your cup of tea but this is my domain. My kingdom." Harry explained, lowering his head down to mine as we walked with his arm around my shoulder, gesturing to the loud music and intoxicated people.
"I'm practically their leader here, and these are my children, I take care of them, love them- Derek you're supposed to snort coke not light it!" Harry suddenly yelled to someone across the room who I couldn't see through the crowd as I heard a loud "Oh! Thanks man!" scream from the other side making Harry bite his lip in a smug grin before he brought a thumbs up to whoever was lighting cocaine.
"If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of irresistable," Harry continued with a sigh as if it was a burden to be so good looking.
"On top of that I'm a leader, did you know I was the one who came up with the idea to make up a wet t-shirt contest to raise money for guys out there with small dicks? It's true." He bragged, high fiving one of his friends who passed by as I scoffed.
"You must've really benefited from that charity then." I said under my breath, bluffing because let's be honest, he's probably pretty bestowed down there.
Harry heard me and I expected him to get offended because men's prides are just so fragile but he didn't miss a beat.
"That I did cutie, if you would like to test it out and see for yourself I'd be more than happy to oblige-"
"I didn't ask for your penis' life story just tell me where the other Harrys are." I snapped at him, starting to feel claustraphobic in the party atmosphere as the stench of alcohol and sweat overwhelmed my senses.
"Aw but talking about my dick is my favorite thing, especially if it's inside you-"
"I got the drink man!" Chad said, shoving through the crowd of people spilling some of the contents of the alcoholic drink in process as he made his way over to us.
"Sorry, I don't drink-"
Harry hit the cup right out of Chad's hand from the bottom, his other arm still around my arm as we gawked at him in shock.
"Yeah Chad she doesn't drink. God." He snapped, rolling his eyes before he looked down, catching me gaping up at him as he winked and his famous playful smirk appeared on his face while he led me away from his confused friend.
"I'm a man of compromise, how about we do a trade, like a switch off. You give me those three me's that you brought and I'll give you the one I have." He offered, strolling through a stuffy hallway as I tried to keep pace with his long legs.
"How is that even fair-"
My sentence was cut short when we passed by an open room, spotting Teacher Harry sticking his tongue down the throat of a girl in a short mini skirt on a sofa in the back, his white shirt unbuttoned revealing his broad tattooed chest and his long hair in a slight tangle from the girl repeatedly running her fingers through his locks.
My gaze then traveled to the front of the room where Cupcake Harry threw his hands up in the air in celebration, his face flushed from all the alcohol he was drinking as the people around him cheered him on, chanting "chug" loudly, patting his back in approval.
Well at least they weren't being tortured.
"No no babe, those ones I'm keeping to entertain a few of my girls... that's what this is really all about. Entertainment, and who would be a better leader of all mes than, oh I don't know, me! But I know the perfect one just for you." Frat Harry said, poking the tip of my nose when he said the last word before going behind and pushing me forward through the hallway until I heard the sound of muffled screaming and cheers.
"What the fuck!?" I blurted out when I spotted another Harry, but this one looking definitely different than the rest with his brown hair slicked and gelled neatly to the side and big over sized glasses on his flushed face as he tried to scream with the rag in his mouth, his limbs tied to a ping pong table as people around him placed their cups of alcohol on his stomach and chest and near his crotch, trying to play beer pong.
"This isn't funny." I said, pushing passed the mass of drunk people, laughing over who I was assuming was Marcel's trembling body on the table as I quickly took the drinks off of him before going to his wrists to untie him making everyone boo in disapproval.
"Oh go boo yourselves." I said, looking over my shoulder to glare at everyone as they cursed and flipped me off before I let Marcel free while I watched Frat Harry shush all of his friends before nudging his head towards me with a cocky smirk.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked, taking the rag from his mouth, ignoring the others as I watched Marcel flush, gulping and nodding his head as he pushed the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose before he screwed his eyes shut and attacked me in a hug, his face lowered against my chest as I froze in surprise.
"Thank you thank you thank you! Please take me with you, please get me out of here." He hypervenilated, sounding absolutely terrified, his body shaking as I wrapped my arms around him for comfort before I felt Frat Harry's large hands over my shoulder.
"See, knew you two would get along, so... you can keep this defected one and I can-" I interrupted Frat Harry, turning and grabbing his chin, bringing his face down till we were eye level as he held my gaze.
"I want a proper thank you," I told him, his eyes wide with surprise as he blinked at me, trying to process my words before a slow smirk spread across his face.
"Now, you wouldn't mean.." He trailed off in a suggestive tone, his gaze falling to my lips as he raised a brow while I kept my expression passive.
"Yes, I want to have the sex." I confirmed in a serious voice, making Marcel's arms around me go rigid before he pulled back with wide eyes to look between Frat Harry and I as everyone erupted into loud hollers and wolf whistles while Frat Harry took his red cap off, fanning himself with the hat as he let out a breath of air, exchanging looks with a few guys before smiling down at me.
"Well who am I to deny a pretty girl what she wants, am I right boys." Frat Harry grinned, his loud voice booming through the room as everyone cheered, especially the guys as Marcel fully retracted back from me, trying to slowly inch away before I grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"And I also want him to watch." I said, still holding onto Marcel as he let out feeble screams and whines of protest, trying to pry my hand away from the fabric of his shirt, struggling to run away.
"No! Please don't make me watch you two have intercourse!" He begged, his glasses fogging up and his face flushed as he looked between the two of us with wide frightened green eyes.
"Yeah no, he has to watch us." I told Frat Harry making him gave Marcel a shrug as if saying "what can I do."
"The girl knows what she wants." He tsked, grabbing Marcel and I as he excitedly ushered us to a vacant room down the hallway.
The moment we got in Frat Harry closed and locked the door before he seated Marcel in a chair in front of the bed as I headed for the bathroom to "get ready" while Marcel continued to hypervenilate.
"Now you're gonna stay here and watch just like she said. You try leaving and I'll let my friends back there do more than use you as a beer pong table, got it cupcake?" Harry said, bending forward until he was eye level to Marcel who was practically shaking in his seat as I scanned the bathroom for something heavy.
"B-but this is porn!" Marcel panicked as I saw Harry from the crack of the bathroom door throw his cap to the bed before taking off his black jeans while chuckling as I retrieved the object from the room.
"How about instead of complaining, you man up and take notes on how to really please a woman. If anything you should be thanking me." Harry said in a cocky tone, biting his lip before he took off his boxers, leaving him in the nude as I froze in my spot to check his bare ass and back muscles, closing my eyes and silently murmuring a prayer and thank you for being blessed before I brought the toilet seat I removed from the toilet down onto Frat Harry's head from behind.
He immediatly fell to the floor, knocked out cold as a strand of my frizzy hair fell in front of my face while I eyed him on the floor, my breathing heavy and my chest heaving up and down as Marcel gawked at me in terror.
"Whoo! Lemme tell you, I have never knocked anyone out but that was my second time today and let me tell you it's fucking exhilerating." I laughed out, my eye twitching as Marcel gulped and shrunk back in his chair.
"Please tell me you're not just going to go around knocking people out to get your way." He swallowed, trying to loosen the collar of his shirt as I threw my head back and let out another maniacal laugh before stopping adruptly with a straight face as I met his gaze.
"Depends, you gon' run?" I tested, giving him a once over as I slightly raised the rim of the toilet bowl in my hand making Marcel immediatly shake his head.
"No! No, I'll go with you- just... just put the porcelain object down." He said, bringing his hands out in front of him in a cautious manner, blinking at me as I let out a sigh of relief.
"Okay, the bird is in the nest, the bird is in the nest," I repeated into the watch Assassin Harry had given to me before we entered the frat, along with the tracking device on it before the window near the bed opened, Assassin Harry casually climbing in effortlessly before he looked at the toilet seat in my hand and the unconscious naked Frat Harry on the floor.
"Yup, Prince Harry is waiting in the car for us just like we planned so we can take Marcel, Frat Harry- which we should just leave naked because.... because I say so and uh- there are two other Harrys in the room next to this one but there's a lot of people so I was thinking we should do this in a subtle way-"
Before I could finish Assassin Harry walked passed me, unlocking and opening the door while taking his gun out from his holster before he disappeared into the crowded hallway.
Marcel and I exchanged confused looks before a muffled "hey man, what's your problem?" was heard through the wall from the other room until the sound of loud gun shots were fired into the air followed by terrified screams and cries.
Assassin Harry then came back into the room like nothing ever happened, dragging drunk Teacher Harry and Cupcake Harry who stumbled in with glazed eyes as I gawked at him.
"Did you just..." I began, my sentence trailing off when Assassin Harry grabbed my chin, tilting it upwards so our eyes would connect as I met his hard gaze.
"You can thank me later bambina." He said, his face straight as he studied me before he let go of my chin.
Okay papi.
"Hot..." I mouthed toward Marcel with wide eyes who was quivering in his seat like a leaf while I went back to the bathroom to wash my hands since I did touch a toilet seat.
Imagine all the shit and vomit on that, aha no thank you.
"Hey, where's Psycho Harry?" I asked the Assassin who was ushering the other Harrys out the window to the car outside where Prince boy was waiting as I checked the tracking device on my watch.
"I swear he better not be doing what I think he's doing."
••
"You better not be doing what I think you're doing!" Was the first thing I screamed when I bust opened the door to the room down the hall where Psycho Harry was in as he gave me a look, just sprawled on the large bed by himself with his arms behind his head.
"Me? What are you even talking about pumpkin, I've just been here laying down and waiting for you." He said, running a hand through his long brown hair as he sent me an innocent smile, his dimples prominent as I narrowed my eyes at him in suspicion.
"Really it's true, I've been a good boy, I even denied a threesome with those two chicks down there- I mean me, denying sex. I've been so good you should just drop the other guys and love me." Psycho harry smiled, batting his lashes as he rose from the bed with one hand behind his back making me cross my arms over my chest as I watched him intensely.
"What's in your other hand?" I interrogated, nodding my head at him as he raised his brows and pursed his lips, feigning confusion.
"It hurts that you put so little trust in me-"
The closet door of the room suddenly opened, causing two lifeless female bodies fall to the floor on top of eachother as my jaw dropped in shock.
"Oh heyy... there you guys are.... Ha, funny." Psycho Harry let out an awkward laugh, gulping when he saw my face as he tried to nudge one of the girl's bodies back into the closet with his foot.
"You did not just kill those two girls." I breathed out, balling my hands into fists as I glared at him.
"No! Those were there before I got here I swear!" He quickly lied, bringing the hand that was behind his back out as he pointed down at the dead bodies with a knife.
"Are you kidding me right now, you're literally pointing at those corpses with a knife- and it still has blood on it!" I exclaimed, pointing at his weapon as his eyes widened in realization.
"Would you believe me if I told you it was raspberry jam..." He slowly trailed off, waiting for my reaction as I rubbed my face in frustration.
"Then lick it."
"Ew no way, what if one of them got HIV."
I gave him a blank expression.
These dead people better come back to life when I reverse this wish or I swear...
"You killed those girls!?" Marcel gasped, entering the room approaching my side as he gawked down at the dead bodies in horror.
"What- me! He's the one with the knife!" I reasoned, pointing at the sharp bloodied weapon in Psycho Harry's hand as he smirked, dropping the innocent act as he wiped the knife with the end of his shirt.
"Yeah but you're the crazy one here." Marcel said, totally oblivious that the guy in front of him was Psychotic Harry who mouthed a "so hot" at Marcel with wide eyes before nodding his head towards me making my breathing increase in irritation.
"You should've seen her, she was all laughing while knocking a guy out with a toilet seat, and I think I saw her eye even twitch." Marcel blurted out making me turn to glare at him.
"Oh god, kid, please stop talking or I'm gonna get a boner." Psycho Harry let out a throaty groan, bringing the hand that was holding the knife up gesturing Marcel to stop as I shook my head.
"I'm leaving." I said in a blank tone, officially done as I turned on my heel to leave the room.
"Aw Liza, come back here and talk crazy to me pumpkin."
AN: Aye which Harry do you ship with Liza the most though and why?
This is a dark comedy so yeah we just got Liza and the guys just ditchen those bodies lmao it's like Scream Queens kinda vibe I'm trying to do here. And sorry if their were any mistakes or typos, I didn't go over it.