Over the next week, a lot happens. Nathan and the team continued to torture Lucas. They trash the River Court, kidnap him and throw him in a marsh, steal his clothes, and so much more. Lucas sticks it through, though. The antics stopped being as bad once Haley made a deal with Nathan.
Meanwhile, I grow closer with Jake and spend more time with Lucas and Haley. Haley gave in to tutoring Nathan, but secretly. She made me promise not to tell Lucas, and I don't plan on breaking that promise. Haley has been really nice to me and I don't want to give her a reason to act otherwise. Also, Lucas would probably try and get her to stop tutoring Nathan, which I don't want because his grades are finally improving. Haley may only be tutoring him so that he won't torture Lucas anymore, but either way, I'm happy.
Nathan still somehow doesn't know that Lucas and I are kind of friends now, which I don't understand. Although I haven't told my twin, I haven't gone out of my way to hide it from him either. Lucas and I talk in school and I hang out with him and Haley. He's just ignorant.
I also have managed to avoid my father for the last week, but unfortunately that streak of peace was bound to come to an end at some point. There's a party later tonight a try family's beach house, but first I came home from school to drop off my stuff and then I'm going to hang out with Jake.
Inside my house, I enter the kitchen to grab a water bottle but see my father standing at the counter flipping through some papers. Ignoring him, I pull a plastic water bottle out of the fridge and take a few sips, but as I'm recapping it my dad speaks. "Haven't seen you around the house much lately," he comments.
"I've been busy," I respond simply, not giving him any details. He doesn't deserve to know what I do in my free time. He lost that right.
"You can't still be mad at me?" He doesn't sound at all sorry or sympathetic. Sighing, he continues. "Taylor, I only have your best interest at heart."
Even if my father were telling the truth, it still wouldn't matter. Maybe he did think he was doing what was best for me, but his mind is twisted. In the end, he only cares about himself. "Dad, you're a selfish liar. You want what's best for you. You say that you only want what's best for me, but tell me why." I look him in the eye, waiting for an answer. I know that he won't be able to answer correctly because whatever he says will just be an excuse or a lie.
"Because you're my child," he tells me, probably thinking that I'm going to have some epiphany and realize that he really does care.
"So is Lucas," I shoot back. If the reason that he supposedly cares about me is because I'm his child, then he should love Lucas too. But he doesn't. I throw my backpack onto a chair and storm out of the house. It seems like I'm doing a lot of that lately. Jake and I planned to meet at a spot by the river that has a bunch of shops and get ice cream. I'm no longer in the mood to eat so I probably won't get any, but I still drive in that direction because Jake is probably already there waiting for me.
As predicted, I spot Jake waiting for me on a bench. Even though my mood is dampened due to the run in with my father, seeing Jake manages to bring a smile to my face. He just makes me feel so relaxed and happy. He looks to be off in his own world, he's staring intently at the river.
Looking up when I sit down next to him, he greets me but can immediately tell that something is on my mind. "What's up? Hey, are you okay."
I don't want to spend the day talking about my problems with Dan, so I try to shrug it off. Explaining to Jake that it was just a little run in with my father, I tell him that I'm fine now, which is true. I just want to enjoy the day with Jake. Neither of us end up getting any food, so we just walk along the river. The conversation is light hearted for a while until it trails off into a more serious topic.
"Listen, I want to tell you something," Jake starts abruptly and I nod for him to continue. I'm listening intently because just a minute ago we were joking around but now he seems serious. "I know you're going through alot right now, what with getting to know Lucas and the pressure you're dad always puts on you, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here."
I wasn't expecting Jake to say that, but I'm happy he did. Although I'm a little awkward with my response because I'm not used to talking about personal things with people, I'm grateful. "Thanks, Jake. It really means a lot."
"There's one more thing..." Jake trails off.
I stop walking when he stops talking. We come to a stop under an oak tree, and I look at him expectantly. "What's up?"
Jake opens his mouth to say something, but he ends up doing something else that I definitely did not expect. Jake puts one of his hands on my cheek and leans in, pressing his lips to mine. I kiss him back instinctively, but I can't seem to be able to form a coherent thought. My mind and heart are both racing. When he pulls away, I'm at a loss for words. I like Jake a lot, but I can't be with him. I like him a lot more than I've ever liked any of my boyfriends, which you'd think would be all the more reason to be happy about this. However, that's exactly the problem. I don't do serious relationships. I don't want to ruin what we have, and if I really like him, then that means he can hurt me.
"Taylor, I really, really like you. I love the way we are when we're together, I love your confidence and how you make me laugh-" Jake says softly but nervously.
I cut him off before he can say anything else, because I know that if he continues, I'll give in. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."
With that, I turn away from him and run in the direction we came from so I can get away. Jake is left standing there with a look of hurt on his face, but I just have to get out of here. I don't know where to go because I don't want to talk to anyone. Thankfully it's getting late so the party at the beach house is soon which might take my mind off of this. I drive around town aimlessly before heading to the beach house. I really like Jake, but I just panicked when he kissed me. I can't be in a relationship with him because if I care about him, then that means he can break my heart.
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Jake's POV
I sigh at Taylor's retreating form. I don't chase after her, because I know she needs her space. I really like her, I've never felt about anyone the way that I feel about her. But she's complicated. Whenever someone get's close to her, whenever she starts to trust someone, she puts up this emotional walls that only she can take down. I desperately want her to be able to trust me. I know that she feels the same way about me because she kissed me back, but I don't know how to help her get over her fear of having both an emotional and physical relationship with someone. With her, she seems to think that it has to be one or the other.
It's obvious that she's the way that she is because of Dan. Everyone know's the story about how he abandoned Karen and Lucas. It's also clear that Dan only cares about three things: himself, his reputation- and therefore his family's reputation- and basketball. He pushes his children way too hard, and he doesn't seem to love them. I assume all of that is the reason why Taylor doesn't trust anyone.
I'm going to give her some space for now, but I will talk to her about this again. I'm not going to give up on her. Hopefully she'll realize that I'd rather hurt myself than ever hurt her in any way.
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Taylor's POV
After driving around for a while- going well over the speed limit- I decide to go to the beach house. Music is already blaring when I get there and crowds of teenagers are drinking and dancing. I make my way inside and immediately grab a drink. I don't see Nathan or any of my friends- and thankfully not Jake. I don't bother looking for any of them because my friends will be able to tell that something is wrong. Instead, I chug down my drink and dance my way into the crowd of people. The house is packed with sweaty bodies and empty solo cups.
I dance for a long time before I feel hands grip my waist from behind and a body begin dancing with me. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Cole Richardson, one of my former boyfriends. Due to my current situation with Jake and not wanting a serious relationship, I decide that this is exactly what I need. In an attempt to forget about everything and distract myself, I let Cole dance with me. Cole was just like the rest of the guys I've dated. We weren't serious, our relationship was mostly just sex. Cole is on the football team, he's very athletic and just as good looking.
Leaning down, Cole whispers something in my ear. Well, he can't whisper because of how loud the music is playing, but he says it just loud enough for only me to hear. "What do you say we take a trip down memory lane? You seem stressed, but I promise I can make you forget," he slurs, clearly drunk. I don't care though, he'd probably still be doing this if he were sober.
Turning to face him, I kiss him sloppily, letting him know what I want. He leads me away from the makeshift dance floor that used to be the living room of the beach house. We're about to turn into the hallway that has a couple of bedrooms when someone steps in front of us. I don't look at who it is right away until Cole tries to shove past the body but whoever it is doesn't budge.
"Taylor, please just talk to me. Don't do this," Jake pleads.
I tell him to move, but he doesn't. Cole is clearly getting impatient. He tries once again to shove past Jake and pull me towards a bedroom, but Jake shoves him. "Just let her go," Jake commands.
"Get off me!" Cole slurs angrily. "I'm not doing anything she doesn't want!"
Jake shoves Cole away from him and faces me again. "Taylor, you can't deny the fact that you kissed me back. So don't go off and sleep with random guys!"
"You don't own me Jake!" I yell at him. "I can do whatever I want!"
I'm really angry at Jake right now. He has no right to come in here and butt into my business. I'm no longer in the mood to either be around him or do anything with Cole. Jake sure knows how to be a buzz kill. I spin around in anger and stalk away. I storm into the living room, but come to a halt when I see that a crown is beginning to form around the tv. I push through the crowd to see what all of the commotion is. When I do, I see that there is a tape playing on the tv from year earlier. It's one that I've always known was in the house because Nathan and I came across it one time when we were younger and were curious enough to watch it. I know that Nathan invited Lucas to come to the party tonight, and I knew that it was probably just to torture him some more, but I never thought that he would stoop so low as to show this in front of the majority of the school.
"Tree Hill High Snowball Court King and Queen- Daniel Scott and Karen Roe," says a voice coming from the television speaker. It's the tape from when my father was in high school and dating Karen, Lucas' mom. In the video, my dad and Karen won King and Queen at the dance and give speeches. "Karen, what's the secret to your success?" asks the voice.
As the camera turns to eighteen year old Karen and Dan, and Karen answers the question, Lucas barges into the room and Nathan, who is standing right by the tv, looks up and smirks evilly at our half brother. He immediately recognizes his mother voice. "Uh, the secret to our success? Hmm, I don't know, good question." Lucas' face falls as his mind processes what the video is. Peyton enter the room from the direction that Lucas came while young Karen asks young Dan what he thinks.
"Good sex!" Dan boosts loudly into the microphone. The whole crowd- both on screen and at the beach house in real life- laughs. Everyone either find the video hilarious or is staring at Lucas in pity. Everyone in town knows the Scott family history and everyone here knows who the people in the video are. The interviewer asks Karen if she thinks her and Dan will ever get married.
Brooke makes a joke about the hair in the video- I mean, it's from almost twenty years ago- and Karen answers the question. She goes on about how my father is the sweetest guy in the world. I'm amazed that anyone could have ever thought that about Dan Scott. Karen says that she believes they will get married and even have children together and be one big happy family. Well, one of those things came true.
Tim, being the idiot that he is, asks who the girl is. Lucas in a small and sad voice answers. "It's my mom."
"At least her dreams came through for one of them," Nathan jokes cruelly, and I can't believe how awful my twin is being. I have completely forgotten about Jake for the time being; my blood is boiling in anger towards Nate.
"Except the happy part, right?" Lucas says dryly with tears in his eyes. He begins to storm out of the room, shoving Nathan into the wall on his way out. Nathan, as well as some other people in the room, laugh.
Unable to take this anymore, I storm towards my brother. The crowd backs up, sensing my anger. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Nathan just laughs again in ignorance. "You're a sick person, Nat an Scott. I don't even know who you are anymore. I used to look up to you- you're my brother, and I always admired you. Now I can't see why. You're a cruel person and I can't believe you actually find enjoyment in this."
Nathan still doesn't seem at all apologetic. He's still just putting on a show, trying to be funny. "Relax Taylor, it was just a joke-" he begins, but I cut him off in a way that causes everyone to gasp.
I slap him across the face, hard. "How dare you. I'm so done with you acting like you can just walk all over everyone! What you did tonight was too far. You're as bad as Dan. You know, one day you're going to end up just like him- with no friends and children who hate your guts and are disgusted to even look at you. I know I am."
Nathan finally seems at a loss for words, so I shove him as hard as I can and storm out of the house in the direction that Lucas went. When I do, I search for him but can't find him anywhere. Deciding that I'll try his house and the cafe, or just go home and find him in the morning, I try to unlock my car. However, between my anger, the tears that I didn't realize until now are streaming down my face, and the buzz I feel from the alcohol, I struggle to do so. I'm not crying because I'm sad- at least, I don't think I am. I'm just so angry at Nathan. He's always been there for me, and I was unable to see until now that he is turning into the exact person my father was in high school. Also, the thoughts about Jake are coming back to me, which is probably the main reason for the tears. I really like him, and I don't want to hurt him. I just don't want to get hurt. I didn't really want to sleep with Cole, I just wanted the pain and fear to go away.
I finally manage to unlock the door of my car and am about to open it when a hand grabs my wrist. I look up and see Jake's warm brown eyes looking into mine. The kindness in them surprise me because I would have expected him to be angry. "You're in no condition to drive," he tells me, taking the keys from my hand. I don't protest, I just look at him. "Please, just let me drive you so we can talk," he pleads, and I give in wordlessly by walking to the passenger side of my car and getting in. Neither of us speak, and I'm not paying much attention until the car stops. We're at the same spot that we were at earlier today when Jake kissed me. He gets out of the car and sits down against the oak tree. I follow and take a seat on the ground next to him. Neither of us speak at first. It's a nice night, it's dark except for the light provided by the street lamps, and you can clearly see every star in the sky.
"What happened, Taylor?" Jake finally speaks.
Immediate;y, the tears start rolling down my cheeks again. I hardly ever cry, although now I can't seem to stop. I try, unsuccessfully, to wipe them away. "I'm so sorry," I sob, and he puts his arm around my shoulder comfortingly. "I really like you Jake."
"So what's the problem?" He questions.
I take a moment before answering so that I can try to control my tears and steady my voice. He won't be able to understand me if I'm sobbing. "That's the problem!" I sob a little louder than planned. "Jake, I've never felt this way for anyone before. And that scares the hell out of me. I don't do serious relationships. If there are feeling involved, then that means I can get hurt. There's already so much pain in my life, between my father and Nathan and Lucas... I can't believe Nathan actually did that tonight. I feel like I've lost the only person in my life who I thought I could always trust. I don't think I can handle a heartbreak," I finish, unable to speak coherently anymore. Jake doesn't say anything at first. He just holds me as my body racks with sobs and I cry into his shirt. Some people might think I'm overreacting over all of this, but it's been so long since I've let my emotions show. It's as if these tears have been kept inside my body for months and I've never let them out until now. I'm not just crying over Jake, or just over Nathan or Lucas or Dan. I'm crying over everything, over all the stress in my life. I try to keep everything inside, I put up walls whenever someone begins to get close to me. I'm just so tired of trying to be strong. For once I just want someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay.
"It's okay," Jake hushes, as if reading my mind. Eventually, my sobs subside and Jake puts a finger under my chin and lifts my head up. "I know it's scary. But I'm falling in love with you, Taylor, and I know you have feeling for me too. I can't see the future, but one thing that I can promise you is that I will do everything in my power to keep you from getting hurt. I want you to be my girlfriend, Taylor. I want you to just give me one chance. Please."
I stare at him. I'm terrified over the words he said, terrified because he said he's facing in love with me. It's like there are two voices inside of me. One is telling me that he's going to hurt me, that it's not worth the pain that I'm surely to suffer. But then there's the other one, the one that I've forced to stay quiet for so long. That on his telling me that it is worth it, that sure, I may get hurt, but that everything in between now and then will be so incredible, so breathtakingly beautiful that I'll never want it to end. I close my eyes, not thinking about my answer, just letting my heart decide for me. Letting that quiet voice that has been pushed down and muffled for so long be brought to light.
"Okay," I squeak in a small voice. I feel Jake sigh in relief next to me and open my eyes.
Jake doesn't say anything, he just placing both hands in either side of my face and gingerly kisses me once again. This time, I don't just wait for the kiss to be over so that I can run away. I deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around his next- which is a little difficult because of the way we're sitting, but I manage. I have no idea how long we were kissing under the tree, but when we finally pull a part, there's a smile on both of our faces. I have completely forgotten about the previous drama at the beach house for now. "You said you love me," I mumble happily against his lips.
Jake laughs happily. "I said I'm falling in love with you. Don't go spreading that around, I've got to keep up my manly reputation," he jokes lightheartedly.
We stand up, and he takes my hand in his. "Whatever, boyfriend," I laugh, skipping ahead of him. Of course there's still a part of me that is worried about getting hurt, but it's like as soon as I finally gave in, that part of me was replaced with the strong part. Suddenly, I'm no touch scared as I am extremely happy. I could get used to calling Jake 'boyfriend'.
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This chapter isn't completely edited yet so sorry if something doesn't make sense. Please leave feedback.