Veronica PoV
My head spins and I shake it quickly to clear the blurriness. I'm barely concentrating through the run into the hospital, grabbing the wheelchair and collecting Rox. She mumbles away to me but I just nod, getting her into a bed and sorted as quick as possible. It's when I take a seat that my head begins to clear.
"Ron?...RON!" Rox shouts frantically next to my head and I scowl at her for being so loud.
"What!" She flinches away from my tone but lays a hand on mine.
"Are you gonna be ok?" I almost scoff, the woman's in labour yet she's still checking to see if I'm ok. I walk over to the sink and lean down at it, staring but not seeing. The cold porcelain is refreshing to my palms and I lean my head against the glass of the mirror. My head starts to swirl again and I gulp down bile. The door opens and Jase runs in, checking Rox over frantically. I smile, usually Rox is the stressed one but right now she looks incredibly relaxed whereas Jase looks like he's gonna pop a blood vessel. They look pretty organised so I wander on out. I'm halfway down the hall when a voice sounds behind me.
"Ron!" I turn and look at Jase's panicked face. He stares for a moment but realises what is going on. He nods and I walk away, down the hall, down the stairs, out the doors. My face is indifferent but when I reach my car, it's a completely different story. I get about 2 miles then pull over and throw up in a bush. Tears stream down my face as I deposit everything in my stomach onto this poor baby holly bush. I knew it would happen, this was different to when I had Bobby, it's more violent in every way. I never really got morning sickness before but this time round, it's worse then anything I've ever had before, and that's saying a lot, allowing the number of hangovers I've had. I get back in the car and open the window, putting a hand on my chest and breathing in and out slowly. The dizziness subsides and I put the car in gear, pulling away and heading in the general direction of the farm.
-*-
My eyes flick up to the doorway at the knock, ignoring the incessant paperwork on my desk. Charlie steps up into the office and I sigh under my breath.
"Look, I don't have time for this right..." He cuts me off quickly.
"I know I'm not anyone you'd want to talk to right now, but I just wanted to tell you something." I lean back in my chair and gesture for him to continue.
"I know I came across quite strong but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I wasn't really a cop, just wore the uniform to get a hook up. I figured that if I gave you everything you wanted, you would want to try something with me. I mean, all girls want attention and a soulmate right? I figured I would just pay attention, you seemed to like it on the night and I assumed that you just wanted love. But now, I think... I think I'm in love with you. And I just, I want you to be mine. Please?" I'm nearly fuming at this point and struggle to keep my temper. He leans over my desk and attempts to kiss me but I push him back hard.
"What the hell are you doing! Get off me you creep!" I scream, clicking record on my phone in my pocket.
He grabs my arm and drags me around the desk, fire burning in his eyes as my action. He slams me against the wall, pressing his body tight against mine and angling his face against mine. I scream out and his hand clamps over my mouth.
"Please, please, let me go. I don't want this please." I whimper dramatically for the phone.
"Never. You want this and I'm tired of waiting." He slams his lips against mine and wraps me around his body. I grab the back of his neck and use it to drag us both to the floor, slamming his forehead straight into my boot. He screams and I stand up.
"I'm so sorry. But I had no choice." I even add a sob to it and press the stop button.
"You think you love me? What the hell is wrong with you? I'm so sick of you, all you have done for the past year is made me feel smaller and smaller and more self-conscious, looking over my shoulder all the time to see if you are there, terrified of what you would do and powerless to stop it. You have ruined me. " He sees how angry I am becoming and bows his head. I growl and grab his collar, yanking him out the door.
"You are suspended for a week. Take me tribunal if you want but this is the final straw. You will be hearing from my legal team within that time. I'm getting a restraining order placed on you. Also, if I see you again in the next week, my sister won't be the only one in hospital. Now get out." I slam the door and sit in my desk, spinning in circles til all I can think about is the pounding in my head.
-*-
"Ron?"
I flick my head round then turn back to the bale. My fists keep hitting it, over and over and over, until arms wrap around me and hold my bruised knuckles, pulling me back into a warm chest. I instinctively curl inwards and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight and lowering us to the floor gently. I curl into his chest and just stay there, breathing in his Redbull and cigarette smell. My eyes search frantically for something to grip onto, some kind of reality but all I find is dust. He holds me tighter and forces my face into his chest so all I can see is darkness. The tension leaves my body at the comforting loss of the bewildering world and I unconsciously relax. We stay there for a moment until I pull back. He glances down and lets me go quickly and I run behind the bale and dry heave. He strokes my back and holds my hair back until I'm done with the harsh convulsions. I nod to him wordlessly and we head up to the portacabin. I grab us both a beer and chug it quick, before I can think of the consequences. He sips his slowly and blocks me from taking another.
"Stop." I see his eyes scan my face but keep my own fixed on the floor. Sighing, he lifts my chin and kisses the corner of my mouth. He smiles crookedly at the look on my face and I flush slightly but raise my head in defiance of my body's reaction.
"Believe me sweetheart, count yourself lucky that you obviously threw up earlier else my tongue would be firmly lodged down your throat right now."
"Why, you sure know how to talk to a woman." I say dryly, accompanied with a hiccup laugh. We stare at each other for a moment but I clear my throat and saunter off down the yard, popping gum into my mouth. The first step shows signs of rain and by the time I've walked 100 yards, it's pelting it down with rain. We sprint down the yard, laughter floating on the humid air. We get to the empty cattle yards 3 and 4 and hide against one of the dividing concrete panels. The rain begins to settle and we lean against the exposed gatepost. I lean up and kiss his cheek and he looks down at me for a moment.
"Screw it." He says, bringing his lips down and pushing them against mine. What started off as a quick peck turns deeper as he pushes me against the post. I growl slightly and turn him so he's against the post then jump so my legs go around his waist. He holds them but I pull away.
"No. Not here. I gotta go get Bobby but I'll see you later." I detach myself with difficulty, both of us are reluctant to let go.
-*-
After saying my goodnights to everyone, I climb in my truck and speed away. I roll down the window and let out a sigh at the cool air hitting my sweaty face. Sophie's pub comes into view and I pull around the back. Bobby jumps in and we drive home in silence. He runs upstairs and gets ready for a bath whilst I clean up the kitchen where Rox left a huge mess. I bath him quickly and he's in bed before the clock hits eight thirty. I begin to leave his room but he calls me back.
"Mumma? I love you." He whispers sleepily, his eyes droop closed and he begins to snore. I close off the light and wander downstairs, pushing my sliding door and locking it behind me. I change into some skimpy summer pyjamas and brush my teeth. Heading outside through the patio doors, I climb onto the swing chair and put my head in his lap. He strokes my hair gently as we gaze at the setting sun. All of a sudden, he pings my pyjama strap.
"Hey!" I sit up and mock glare at him.
"Sorry, what happened? Oh this?" and he promptly does it again.
"Oi, stop it!"
"Or what?" I smash my lips against his. He begins to kiss back and I pull away giggling and run inside, locking the doors behind me. He glares me down then smirks, heading to the open window and pulling himself through on his stomach. Halfway through, he stops.
"Baby, seriously, I'm wedged, help me!" I run over and pull his arms until he's through. He stands up and smirks. Oh dear. I try to run but he grabs my waist and drags me back, tossing me on the bed as I giggle. He climbs on top and pins my arms by my sides as I struggle. His lips press against mine once briefly then push against them, kissing me mercilessly as I kiss back just as hungrily. His hands release my wrists and explore the hem of my top whilst mine tangle in his hair. His hands slip inside my top and I freeze. He removes them and we continue and my shirt disappears. His fingers hook into my pyjama shorts and I freeze, pushing him away entirely. He sits up grumpily, visibly turned on.
"What the hell? Are you on your period or something, cos you are pretty much bipolar right now." he growls angrily.
"No, I'm just not in the mood." My tone is icy and his face drops.
"What is it? You've been on and off all day. Spit it out." His tone is icier, although his reasoning is more, well, reasonable as I did just leave him with a boner.
"I'm pregnant." It's his turn to freeze and he looks shocked.
"Already? We've only been trying a few months." His face looks more neutral now and that is slightly relieving.
"I know, apparently it worked early on cos I'm 3 months. It's totally the wrong timing and I might get rid of it, I'm not exactly the most stable right now. I'm screwed up as it is, I don't need to screw up a kid. And how the hell will it work? This was not..." He gently kisses me and stops the streams of panicked tears.
"You aren't a screw up. You aren't perfect sure. But that's ok. Because you are you. And to me, that's kinda perfect." His voice is soft and his arms are my haven. I press my lips against his.
"It's a blobble of stuff though. This isn't a baby. And who's to say that this will work? I..... don't know if I want it." He presses his forehead against mine and holds the back of my neck with his hand.
"This is our baby. We are a screwed up pair, but together, this won't just be a blobble. This will be ours." I climb into his lap, kissing him furiously. This kiss is different from the others, it is soft and gentle. We undress each other slowly, savouring each moment. He sees every one of my scars from various injuries, every awkward lump and wobbly blobby bits. My body is far from perfect, uneven and not even close to flat but it's ok. His body is the same. I'm not the cliche flat stomached, racked and smooth woman and he isn't the ab muscled, thin and hung man, but it's real, it's us and it's perfect. He starts slow and gentle and it is sweet. Eventually, I'm on top and yet, I'm slow. We match moments and hold each other. It would be sickening to anyone else, but to us, it shows what we really are.
-*-
Afterwards, I'm curled against his chest as he lays on his back with his arm around me. His hand twirls with my hair and mine rests on his chest. I breath in and straddle him.
"Listen. If this is gonna work, you have to know about a few things. First, I am really messed up. I'm not very mentally stable and I'm most likely gonna make your life difficult because of that fact. So if you wanna run, do it now. Second, you can do what you want. Sleep around, whatever, but as soon as I find out, be prepared to lose at least 2 pints of blood or your balls. Third, I...." I cut off, uncertain of how to phrase this. His hand rubs my side comfortingly and I look him straight in the eye.
"I can't say I love you. I don't know what that means. I've never been in love. Sure, I've had a strong relationship with someone and sure, it's hurt me a lot, but love? I've never been in it. So if I was to say that I love you, I mean it will every tiny atomic structure of my being. And me being indifferent or emotionless isn't real." He reaches up and traces my lips with his thumb. His arm snakes around my waist and yanks me down into his arms.
"Ok. First, I'm never gonna run. Never. I.. Love you. Second, you aren't mentally unstable. Sure, you do act a bit like a wackjob, but that's just you, not mental instability. Third, I would never cheat, what's the point? And fourth, I would wait forever for you to say you love me. And you don't have to say it. But I'll know it. Ok?" I nod and roll off him, cuddling into his side. He holds me that way and my eyelids droop shut.
-*-
"Hey, wake up! Max! Wake up! I need you Max, wake up!" I shake him continually and he ignores me. I climb on his lap and start grinding, which wakes him up quickly.
"Well now you've woken two people up! What's wrong?" I grab his hand, ignoring his innuendo and rest it on my stomach.
"Do you feel it?" He frowns and then bursts into a huge smile at the small movements under the skin of my belly.
"It's our baby! She's moving! Oh my god! This is amazing!" He looks so happy, which I find a bit odd.
"Ok, that's enough of that, don't want you getting attached to the globule. She might get attached to you. And who is to say it is a girl, hmmm?" I push his hand off and lie down on my back. He smirks at me and I frown at him.
"You call it a her. You want this baby now!"
"No, I don't want the globule, I just don't have an aversion to her-it." He smirks more and I turn my back and pout, frowning when I realise I have unconsciously wrapped my arms around my tiny bump. I untangle my arms and lie flat. He drags me round and pulls me to his chest. I lay my head on it and close my eyes, falling asleep with the thoughts of a tiny girl running around.