Hi everyone, sorry for the late update, I've been trying to come up with a good end to this story. I know I said that it would only be two chapters left, but I'm trying to make this book as long as possible for you guys, so after this chapter it will be two more, so this is an extra chapter. Yay?
So this chapter is kind of a filler, it's just from Aubrey's point of view. There is something important you should know though, this contains a self harming scene. If you don't feel comfortable reading it, than you can just skip it. Got it?
And oooone more thing, haha. I decided to add a song to this chapter. Listen to it while you're reading the chapter, it will make everything sadder, lol.
Enjoy!
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Aubrey's POV
I slowly opened my eyes, to see that everything was sideways. Scrunching my eyebrows, I got to my senses, and discovered that I was laying down sideways on the bench. I must have cried myself to sleep. I rubbed my hands over my cheeks, feeling the dried tears.
I didn't know how long I was a sleep, but judging by the sunset to say, it was evening. I sat up and twisted my stiff neck.
Something fell down and hit the grass. I looked down, and saw my phone. Picking it up, I searched for injuries, but couldn't find any.
But what I did find though, was seven missed calls and three messages from Justin. Rolling my eyes, I read the messages.
From: Justin <3
Babe, I'm so sorry! :( I love u
Scoffing, I read the next one.
From: Justin <3
Please answer my calls princess
This time rolling my eyes, I read the last one.
From: Justin <3
Where are u? It's getting late, please come back. Call me
I stared at the last message. Should I call him back? After everything that happened today, I was NOT going back to the cabin, at least not for tonight. I was still pissed at Justin.
So I decided just to reply.
To: Justin <3
I'm fine. I won't come back, stop calling my phone.
I sent the message and locked my phone. I probably looked aweful right now. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to get some tangles out. I wonder what Isabelle was doing now. Was she still with Justin?
I wouldn't be suprised if I saw her with Justin tomorrow, at the bonfire. Speaking of bonfire, I didn't know if I was even going anymore. I didn't have a date anymore, after all.
Using the front camera on my phone, I fixed my hair and my face, trying to rub of the dried mascara and the dried tearstains.
Just then, my phone started to vibrate in my hand. I wasn't surpised when Justin's name popped up on the screen. The picture under his name caught my attention though, and I got tears in my eyes again.
It was a picture of me and him, at the dock. His lips were pressed against mine and the sunset was blazing in the background.
I was almost hypnotized by the picture that I almost forgot that I had to either answer, or hang up. Unwillingly, I decided to answer.
"What the fuck do you want?" I hissed into the phone, probably sounding very hostile, but I didn't care. I cleared my throat, it was a little weak from crying so much.
Justin sighed. "Look, I'm so so so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen-"
"You never mean anything to happen Justin," I whispered. "But it still does."
"I know I know," he mumbled through the phone before taking a deep breath. "I was stupid."
"Yeah, you were," I agreed.
"Oh come on," he said, irritation in his voice. "She kissed me."
"Look, it does matter who kissed who, you still kissed," I stated, gritting my teeth.
"Then what should I've done? She didn't let me finish-"
"You should have just told her in the beginning, instead of waiting until the end!" I shouted angrily.
He didn't answer, he just sighed heavily, fumbling with the phone.
I sighed too, closing my eyes. "It doesn't even matter anymore. Why were you calling?" I asked, tired of everything.
"You know it's past 9 pm right? It's getting dark, please come back," he whispered, his voice slightly desperate.
I didn't know it was so late. But I was not going back, at least not for tonight. I wasn't ready to face Justin yet. "Sorry, but I can't. I need to be alone," I mumbled dryly.
There was a pause in the other end. "What about us?" he whispered, like he was afraid of the answer.
I closed my eyes. "I don't know," I stated honestly. "I need to think."
"Alright. I love you," he tried quietly.
A sigh escaped my lips. "Goodbye Justin," I whispered softly into the phone, before ending the call.
"Lies are everything I hear," I muttered to myself when the phone call ended.
It became quiet, as I opened my eyes. The sun was almost down behind the mountains. A single tear escaped the crock of my eye, and I just stood there, feeling the liquid run down my cheek and past my lips.
Suddenly, I felt something heavy in my chest. It was like I couldn't breathe, and with every breath I took, it hurt even more. Everything was falling apart. I knew this feeling too well.
So many thoughts were rushing through my mind, all of them negative.
Of course Justin kissed Isabelle, she's so much better than you.
Justin doesn't love you, he's probably making out with Isabelle right now.
Justin loves her.
You're nothing.
Just worthless.
You're nothing.
Nothing.
By this time, I was shaking so bad I couldn't help it anymore. The pain needed to escape somehow. Instantly, my eyes searched the ground. I crouched down. Picking up a knife sharp rock, I closed my eyes, holding it against my left wrist, trying to stop my hand from shaking.
I didn't want to do it; I promised myself to never self harm anymore. But the pain was too overwhelming, it was my only escape. I stared down at my wrist. The scars were almost healed.
I wasn't thinking clearly, my mind was one big mess. All I thought about was the pain that needed to end.
Biting my lip, I squeezed my eyes shut, and pressed the sharp part of the rock into my skin, before dragging it sideways. I gasped when I felt the pain shoot up my arm, and blood slowly oozing out.
It was a different kind of pain though, it was kind of relieving. Like all of your problems got washed away for a while. I liked it.
A part of me was screaming for me to stop, but I didn't listen. I let the rock slide across my wrist again and again, creating several cuts, seeing the blood run down my arm.
The pain was overwhelming, and tears blurred my vision. But I didn't care. A sob escaped my lips, but I just continued to slide the rock across my skin. The rock was now covered in blood, and I decided to finally stop.
My legs failed, and I sat down on my butt. Picking up the rock, I threw it in the lake. I breathed heavily, and my heart was pounding hard through my chest. Staring at my wrist, watching the mess I made. A droop of blood slid down my arm.
In case my legs couldn't bare me, I crawled down to the lake, washing away the blood. I bit my tongue when I felt the stinging, so hard I could taste the metal taste from the blood in my mouth.
Pain. Pain was everything that I felt.
When all the blood was washed away, my arm was left with fresh, red wounds. It looked horrible. And the thought that it was myself that caused that, was even more horrible.
I sat down by the dock, surrounded by the darkness of the night. Everyone were inside in their cabins, so it was just me. I just wanted to go into the darkness, and never come back. But I knew that I couldn't.
Suddenly, Jake's voice popped into my head. It was from the first day we met.
*FLASHBACK*
"You have scars," Jake said in a high pitched voice, pointing at my thigh. Oh, dang.
"Yeah," I replied quietly, not knowing what to say.
"I understand," Jake said, making me furrow my eyebrows. "My sister had those scars all over her arms and legs. One day she didn't come home. My mom says she went on vacation to the other side of the world."
This made me want to cry.
"Please don't go on vacation," Jake said almost pleadingly will looking me in the eyes with his bright blue orbs. Automatically I bent down so I was on his height, wrapping my arms around his tiny frame, giving him a big hug.
"I won't," I whispered.
"Promise me you won't make anymore scars," he continued to say.
I smiled a sad smile. "I promise," I told him softly.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
I stared at my wrist. "I'm sorry Jake," I whispered, before sighing. I was letting everyone down.
The sky was clear, and you could see the stars shining. The image of my dad popped into my mind. He was up there somewhere.
"Daddy, where are you?" I whispered, tears falling again. I missed him so much it hurt. And I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. He just left me like that.
"Please come back, I need you," I croaked out weakly.
The wind blew stronger, blowing my hair back. I shivered slightly, and brought my zip hoodie closer to my body.
Suddenly, a light appeared in the sky. I squinted my eyes at the bright light. It was a shooting star.
I had never found any interests in shooting starts before, but this felt different.
I stood up, faced the light and closed my eyes. "I wish that my dad was here with me right now," I said quietly to myself. Then the light got stronger, before it faded away quickly.
Everything became silent, the only thing to be heard was the fainted sound of the leaves blowing in the wind.
Then I heard a branch breaking in the woods behind me, and I froze. I tried to stay calm when I slowly turned around, facing the trees. At first, I couldn't see anything. Maybe it was just my imagination, I thought to myself.
I was about to turn around, when I saw a movement. It was hard to tell, since it was dark outside, but something definitely moved.
"Who- who's there?" I called out, my voice cracking in the end.
I didn't get any answer. Maybe it was a bear or something, coming to eat me. Right now I didn't actually mind getting killed, I was already dead inside.
But then the thing -whatever it was- took a step forward, relieving it's self.
I gasped, my eyes almost falling out. It was a male. Dark brown hair, crystal blue eyes. My eyes. I blinked several times, but he was still there. I wanted to cry again, but this time of happiness. It was him, he was here.
My dad.
One part of me was saying that this wasn't real, that I was only imagining it. But I couldn't help thinking that this was real. Dad was staring at me, his face showing no emotion.
I was about to run towards him, but I couldn't. My legs couldn't move. Confused, I tried to lift one of legs, but it was stuck. Like somebody had glued my legs to the ground.
"Dad, help me!" I shouted, motioning him to come over, but he just stood there, not moving.
I stopped trying to move, just eyeing him frowning. "Dad?"
Then something weird started to happen. His figure started to get unclear. Like he was fading away.
"Dad!" I screamed, but he was still fading. "Dad! NO!"
"DAD!" With a scream, I jumped awake. More confused than ever, I found myself laying on the dock. I breathed heavily, my heart pounding in my chest. I watched my surroundings. I was alone.
I closed my eyes. It was just a dream. There were no shooting star, dad didn't appear. I must have fallen asleep. I dusted myself, and slowly sat up. I didn't know what time it was, but it was almost pitch black outside. Luckily there were streetlights on the paths.
I checked the time on my phone. It was 11 pm already. I also noticed that I had only 5% battery left on my phone. I needed to charge it.
I stood up. At first, I didn't know where to go, but then an idea popped into my mind. It was the only choice that I had left, that or sleeping outside with a dead phone.
I walked quietly down the path, trying not to think about everything that had happened. It had really been a long day, I was exhausted.
In what seemed like forever, I finally reached his cabin. Not wanting to wake anybody up, I knocked quietly on the door, taking a step back. I pulled down my sleeve, just in time as the door opened.
"Aubrey?" Alex asked confused, squinting. He looked at me with a sleepy expression.
"Sorry for waking you up," I said quietly. "I was just wondering if I could borrow your iPhone charger?"
Alex became more confused. "Uhm, sure... You wanna come inside?"
"Thanks," I whispered, looking down. I was afraid that if I spoke louder, my voice would fail.
I walked behind him inside, feeling the warm air surround me. Jake was fast asleep, and I didn't bother to wake him up. Alex and Jake had already packed most of they stuff, so the cabin was very organized and clean.
"Your phone please?" He asked, holding out his hand. Without a word, I gave it to him, watching him as he plugged in the charger to my phone. Soon a red battery was shown on my phone.
"So what are you doing outside at this time?" He continued to ask, sitting down at his bed, patting the spot besides him. I pulled down my sleeve even more before sitting down.
"It's a long story," I told him quietly. "I don't really want to talk about it."
He just nodded, scrunching his eyebrows. "You can stay here if you want? I don't really want you to stalk around alone in the middle of the night," he suggested, giving me a smile.
I forced a fake one in return. "Thank you." I was about to walk towards the couch, but a hand on my wrist stopped me. My left wrist.
Automatically, I gasped when pain shoot up my arm. Alex quickly let go with a frightened look in his face.
"Are you okay?" He asked me, his eyes looking straight into mine.
I looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze. "Yeah of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
When I looked up, his face was serious. "Well.." He pointed down at my arm, and I saw that my sleeve was pulled up. The fresh cuts were showing.
"Are you really okay?" He asked again, his voice stern. I stared at him for a few seconds, before I just broke down.
I sobbed quietly, not wanting to wake Jake up, that would only create more drama. Not long after I felt Alex wrap his arms around me, and I leaned my head against him chest.
It felt nice to have somebody comfort you, after being alone all evening. Alex took my left arm gently, placing him warm hand lightly on my wrist. It didn't hurt at all.
"Don't ever do that again, promise? I know the outcome of this," he said, refering to his old girlfriend. He looked me serious in the eye.
I've had enough with promises, to be honest. Either it's me who didn't keep them, or it's somebody else.
"I won't do it again," I stated lightly. I wasn't going to promise anything.
He hugged me for another minute, before I pulled away.
"Sorry for this," I said, sniffing. I used my hand and dried all the tears from my face. What was up with me and crying today? This was like the fifth time or something.
"Don't apologize," he replied, giving me a small smile. I gave one in return, a more real one this time.
I turned around and was about to head for the couch, but he stopped me again. "Where are you going?" He asked.
"To the couch I suppose?" I replied, shrugging.
"Don't be stupid, the bed is big enough for both of us," he mumbled, reminding me of Justin. I pushed the thought away, not wanting to think about him.
"You sure?" I asked, biting my lip.
He just rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure."
That's when I realized just how tired and exhausted I was. I got under the covers, feeling tiredness and sleep take over me.
"Thanks for everything Alex," I whispered, yawning. I closed my eyes, just wanting to forget this bad day. I just wanted to wake up with Justin besides me, and see that this whole day had just been a dream. But that sadly wouldn't happen.
"You're welcome sweety," he muttered softly, getting under the covers to besides me.
The last thing that I heard before I fell asleep, was Alex whispering me "good night".
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So here you go, probably not so interesting.
Please leave a opinion on this chapter, I read them all with a smile. I also want to say thank you for all your comments and voting, it means so much to me.
So yeah, another thing.. I've been kinda tired lately, school and activities are stressing me out, and a lot of bullshit is happening. But I'll try to update as soon possible, don't let me down :)
Bye x