"Alec you don't owe me an apology I know why you were concerned but I would really appreciate it if you would tell Clary that you are sorry for the things you said to her this morning. Honesty you were really out of line with some of the things you said. I know how much your words towards her hurt me so you can only imagine how she feels right now. She thinks you hate her; please tell her you don't hate her."
Alec looks at me with understanding in his blue eyes for a moment before turning to Clary.
"Clary I truly am sorry for the things I said this morning; I didn't mean to hurt you. I promise you that I don't hate you; I just don't want you to hurt my brother again."
"I hurt her too Alec. Please don't make her out to look like the villain here because I am just as guilty as she is; if not more so."
"What exactly happened? When did you two figure this all out?" Izzy asks.
"The details about what happened aren't important to anyone but me and Clary. The only thing I can explain to you is that what happened is my fault..."
"Jace, that's not true..."
"Yes it is Clary. You don't understand because you are so good; you are so damned good Clary and I nearly ruined all your goodness. If I would have just been more patient with you when you needed your space then I wouldn't have felt the need to leave and you wouldn't have felt so alone. I'm sorry Clary. I am so damned sorry that I left you alone when you needed me the most. I promise that I will always be here for you from now on."
Clary surprises me by kissing me hard on the mouth; not caring one bit if Alec or Izzy are watching. I smile at her before turning to Izzy again to answer her second question.
"As far as when we figured this all out; the answer to that question is a little complicated. I think we have had feeling for each other for months now but two weeks ago those feelings came to the surface for the two of us. I guess we were both scared and confused. We both finally admitted how we felt yesterday."
"It's obvious that Clary loves you; she has been in love with you pretty much since the first day she got here. Do you love her Jace?"
"Yes I do Izzy."
"Do you really though? How can we...how can Clary trust that your feelings for her are because you love her and not just because you want in her pants. How do you know you aren't just mistaking how intriguing the idea of being with a virgin is with love?"
"You listen to me Iz..."
I quickly cover Clary's mouth with my hand before she can say anything she will regret to Izzy.
"I love her Izzy. I can tell you that over and over again until I am blue in the face but only time will prove to you that I do love her."
"Okay time will tell but please don't hurt her Jace. She is such a sweet girl and I can't stand the thought of you ruining her."
"And how do you know she won't ruin him Izzy? Guess what you don't know that because just like he said they both love each other and only time will prove to us that that love is real. I think we should stop talking about all of this now. Jace just got home yesterday and thank god that Clary is finally out of her room. They both seem happy so just let them be happy."
"Thank you Alec." I say to him with a smile on my face.
Alec returns my smile and gets up to leave the room; he grabs ahold of Izzy and drags her out of the room with him as he leaves. When I look at Clary her eyes are sad and she is wringing her fingers again. I grab her hands to stop her fidgeting and smile at her.
"Relax baby. Everything is fine now okay."
"I'm not so sure Izzy would agree with you Jace."
"Give her time; she will come around. I have to tell you I am almost offended by her. I mean she is my sister after all but the way she is so protective of you only makes me love her more I think."
"Do you think it would be a good idea if maybe I went and talked to her alone?"
"I can't tell you what to do Clary. If you feel like it would make you feel better to go and have a private talk with Izzy then that is up to you."
"I feel like if I don't go talk to her then our already fragile friendship might be hurt further. When you were gone she tried so hard to get me to talk to her. She kept apologizing to me for not spending enough time with me but I just pushed her away. She kept trying to get me to talk to Simon on the phone and both her and Alec kept trying to get me to go and see Simon. They know that Simon is my best friend and I know they thought that if I would at least talk to him then maybe I would stop crying and hiding in my room. I didn't want to talk to Simon. I didn't want to talk to anyone but you."
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I didn't think you wanted to talk to me anymore. I figured you left because you hated me after what I had done to you in the training room. Not to mention; even if you would have answered your phone that isn't the same thing as seeing you. Everything I wanted to say to you couldn't be said over the phone; I needed to face you when I talked to you about how I felt. To be able to look you in the eyes when I made my apology to you."
"When did you decide that you wanted to talk to me?"
"The same day I attacked you in the training room; well later that night actually. It was really late; probably almost one in the morning and I didn't want to wake you up. I went to sleep with the intensions of finding you first thing the next morning but when I woke up you were already gone."
"Fuck! You should have come to my room; I wasn't even sleeping at one in the morning. Even if I were sleeping; waking up to your beautiful face would have been the best way in the world to wake up."
"I'm sorry. I did think about texting you. I figured if I sent you a text saying that I wanted to talk to you then maybe you would come back home but I just couldn't push the send button."
"Hey let's put all that behind us okay? We could sit here and play the shoulda coulda woulda game all day but let's not do that. I think we should go to the park like you wanted to earlier."
"I only wanted to go to the park so we could put off talking about everything to Alec and Izzy."
"So what do you want to do then? We should go do something fun; after all of that we could use a little bit of fun today."
"We could go for a ride in your car. You haven't even showed it to me yet."
"You haven't seen snowflake yet?"
"Snowflake?"
"That's her name. I named my car snowflake."
"Awe that is...kind of sweet actually."
"Give me time baby and I will show you that I can be so sweet you will get a toothache."
"I have a confession to make to you Jace."
"Oh and what's that?"
"I actually have seen your car."
"When?"
"About three months ago I was home alone and I was bored so I took a tour of the institute."
"Did you touch my car when you went into the garage?"
"No, I promise you I only looked at it. I looked at it and I looked at the pictures of it on the wall."
"I wouldn't have cared if you touch my car; I was only messing with you. Come along then; we will go for a car ride."
I open the car door for Clary and can't help but smile at her huge grin as she slides across the leather seat. Getting in I start the car and rev the engine and laugh loudly when I hear Clary giggle as she claps her small hands together in excitement. I hand her my IPod and tell her to pick out some music for us to listen to.
"Rise Against? Good choice Clary; I haven't listened to them for a while."
"I like this band but I don't have any of their CD's."
"Remind me to give them to you when I get home. I think I have three of their CD's in my room; I never listen to any of my CD's anymore now that I have an IPod."
"I will get Simon to make me copies of them and then I will give them right back to you."
"First of all that is illegal Clary; it's illegal to copy music like that. Second of all I don't want them back you can keep them. In fact you can take whatever CD's you want; I told you I never listen to them anymore. Shit I think I have probably two thousand CD's or better and all they are doing is collecting dust in my closet."
"Wow really? Thanks Jace."
"You're welcome baby."
We both sing along with the music as I drive out of the city; I want to get out on the open highway so Clary can really enjoy our car ride. Twenty minutes later we are sailing at close to ninety on the four lane highway. Clary has the window down and her hair is blowing across her face as she sticks her hand out the window; feeling the air on her palm as I speed down the highway. Clary pushes her hair away from her face and smiles at me; her smile is light and carefree and I can't help but return it with one of my own.
"Is that how fast we are going?"
I glace at the tack on the dash and it tells me we are going ninety-two miles an hour.
"Yep."
"Slow down right now!"
I take my foot of the gas pedal and let the speed of my car reduce to sixty-five before looking at her to see if I should slow down further.
"Please don't drive fast like that anymore. We would be killed if we wrecked at that speed."
"I'm an excellent driver Clary."
"Okay you might be a good driver but what about the other drivers? Besides it's illegal to go that fast. A half an hour ago you were scolding me for wanting to make copies of a couple of CD's. "
"Fair enough. I apologize if I scared you."
"I thought I was going to throw up when I saw how fast you were going."
"She sure does float down the highway nicely at that speed though doesn't she?"
"Yes, yes she does but she floats just as nicely at sixty-five too."
"Do you know how to drive a car Clary?"
"No, I guess I never really found the need to learn to be honest with you. We live in the city so I just walk or use the subway to get around. Simon uses his buddy's van anytime we need to go elsewhere."
"Do you want me to teach you how to drive?"
"Sure maybe someday I can get an old beater and you can take me somewhere where there is no traffic so I can learn."
"Why wait?"
"What do you mean?"
"I can teach you right now."
"In this?"
"Sure, why not?"
"No way Jace, this car is your baby and you worked so hard to restore it; you would kill me if I so much as scratched the paint let alone accidently wrecked it."
"Oh stop it, you won't wreck the car and for the record you are my baby. This is just a car and I can always get another car. The only thing I would care about if you wrecked would be you because I can't get another you."
"Okay if you're sure you won't kill me if something happens but can you maybe find like an empty parking lot or something? I don't think I feel comfortable enough to try driving with other cars around me."
"Don't worry; I know the perfect place to teach you."
A half an hour later I pull up to the end of the abandoned air strip and get out of the car. I open the passenger side and tell Clary to slide across the seat. After she adjusts the seat so she can reach the pedals she buckles her seat belt and looks at me.
"What do I do now?"
"You need to adjust the mirrors so you can see behind you and along both sides of the car...no don't move your head...keep your head still and look at the mirrors with just your eyes."
I wait as she takes the time to adjust her side mirror and wait even longer for her to adjust the rearview mirror. I adjust the passenger side mirror to where I think she will be able to see and after one minor adjustment she is able to see out of all the mirrors clearly.
"Okay now what?"
"Put your foot on the break and shift the car into drive."
"This one on the left is the brake right?"
"Yes that's right...no, don't use your left foot; you are supposed to use your right foot. You use your right foot for both the gas and the brake. You are only supposed to use your left foot if there is a clutch pedal but since this is an automatic you are only going to be using your right foot."
The car begins to move as soon as she shifts it into drive and she slams the brakes on causing the tires to chirp. She looks over at me with an apologetic smile on her face as her cheeks turn pink. I reach up and turn off the music before giving her a reassuring smile.
"It's okay baby. Remember you are going to want to keep your foot on the brake until you are ready to begin driving. So whenever you are ready take your foot off the brake and gently place your foot on the gas pedal."
She takes a moment to breathe and then she takes her foot off the brake and pushes in the gas pedal hard enough to chirp the tires once more before she slams on the brakes again.
"I'm sorry Jace. Am I hurting your car?"
"No you're not hurting the car; I promise. Relax, take a deep breath and try again but remember gently Clary."
After almost a full hour goes by I am relaxed enough to just sit back and enjoy watching her as she drives around the empty airport. I chuckle whenever she starts to go a little faster than she means too and ends up hitting the brake a little too hard but other than that she is doing a good job.
"Look at that baby; you're a natural. I think you can drive from here on out. I quite like sitting over here; I can take in the scenery much better now that I don't need to focus on driving."
"What scenery? You have been watching me the entire time."
"Exactly!"
She rolls her eyes at me and I chuckle at her.
"Am I really doing a good job driving?"
"Absolutely."
"Well I still won't be able to drive you around any time soon."
"Why not?"
"I don't have a driver's license Jace."
"So I will take you to the DMV and get you one."
"Don't I have to take a written test or something too?"
"Well nowadays you just push buttons on a computer but yes you will have to take a test. Don't worry I will get you a book and help you study. You are a smart girl and with my help you will pass the test with flying colors. I will need to show you how to park and a few other things but we are probably getting pretty low on gas and I don't know about you but I could go for something to eat."
Fifteen minutes later I begin to pump some much needed gas into my car and Clary is squirming beside me.
"Do you have to pee?"
"Yes, really badly."
"There are bathrooms inside. I figured we would wait until we get closer to home to find a place to eat so you should go pee now."
"Okay. Are you coming inside or should I just meet you back here at the car?"
"I want something to drink; I'm thirsty so I will just meet you inside."
She jumps up and kisses my cheek before she sprints towards the gas station; I can't help but laugh at her because seeing her run that fast tells me just how much she needed to use the bathroom. I pull my credit card receipt from the gas pump and go into the gas station where I find Clary in the candy isle. She yips when I place my hands on her hips.
"You scared me Jace!"
"Sorry Clary; what are you getting?"
"Just some gum but I can't find the right kind."
"What kind are you looking for?"
"Bubble gum, I thought we could have a bubble blowing contest to keep us entertained on the way back home."
I throw my head back in laughter and to my own surprise begin to help her find bubble gum; getting excited for our contest. I feel like such a little kid over my excitement for a stupid bubble blowing contest yet I couldn't be happier at the thought of how much fun it will be. Alec and I used to have bubble blowing contest all the time when we were little and it was always so much fun.
Clary and I have a good time blowing bubbles on the way back into the city. Once we get closer to a small Italian place that I have eaten at before; I find a parking spot. I am still holding Clary's hand as we enter the restaurant. The smell of the food makes my stomach growl and I hear her chuckle at the noise my stomach makes.
"You really are hungry aren't you Jace?"
"Starving."
A balding man takes us to a table for two and hands us our menus before telling us our server will be with us shortly. I end up ordering Lasagna and Clary said she was going to try the steamed clams but she chickened out at the last minute and ended up ordering the chicken parmesan; which I ended up eating half of. It's nearly eight at night when I finally back my car into the dark garage. I shut the motor off but leave the key on before I push the button that turns on the green floor lights.
"Oh aren't those pretty? I didn't even know you had them."
"I put them in a while ago; got them on sale. They were one of the easier things to put into this car. Do you like the color?"
"Yes, it's pretty."
"I painted the black stripes on the car for my sister; I paid way too much fucking money to get the blue stitching on the leather for Alec and I figured since I can't ever get your green eyes out of my head anyhow I would just embrace it to the fullest by getting the green lights for you."
"Awe that's so sweet."
I shut the lights off and put the keys in my pocket before opening my car door.
"I can't see anything Jace."
"Stay there, I'll come around and get you."
I hold her hand until we step back into the light of the hallway inside of the institute where I release her hand only to pin her against the wall.
"What are you doing Jace?"
"I haven't kissed you're sweet lips all day and I just can't wait another minute."
She giggles as I begin to kiss her but her giggles stop when I slide my tongue into her mouth. After several stops along the way to my room to kiss further we are now in my bathroom and she is watching me as I brush my teeth. With my toothbrush still in my mouth I begin to peel my clothes off until I am naked.
"I should go brush my teeth and get some jammies on." She says after she is done staring at my naked body.
"Here, you can use my toothbrush and I can give you one of my t-shirts if you want."
"Use your toothbrush? Isn't that gross?"
"We have had our tongues in each other's mouths so why would sharing a toothbrush be any different?"
Not finding a reason to argue she just shrugs and takes my toothbrush from me. She is busy brushing her teeth when I slide my hands around her tiny waist as I stand behind her. I begin to kiss he neck as I unbutton and then unzip her jeans. I have her jeans halfway down her thighs when she spins around in my arms and pulls my face to hers where she kisses my hungrily. After we make love I am lying on my back and Clary has her head on my chest. I have my fingers knotted in her sweaty hair as I rub her back and she is rubbing my stomach. I stop rubbing her back to reach over to set my alarm so we will get to the training room in time because tomorrow is Monday.
"What time is it?" Her voice sounds tired.
"Only a little after nine."
"I think I could fall asleep right now; I'm tired."
"Me too. Good night baby."
"Goodnight Jace."
Life couldn't be better than it is right now. I have the most amazing girl sleeping on my chest and for once in my life I can feel everything. This green eyed girl makes me not feel numb anymore and she makes me feel alive and so damned happy; I never want to stop feeling this way. I don't ever want to feel numb again. I will do anything to keep this feeling and to keep this girl happy. As long as I can look into her green eyes every day and see her smiling face my life will be complete.
AUTHORS NOTE.....
THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO SEND ME SOME FEEDBACK. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND YOUR HONEST OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS STORY...PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING....OH AND SINCE I AM A HUGE MUSIC LOVER; I AM CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO...LET ME KNOW WHAT MAKES YOUR EARS DROOL MY LOVELY'S
WITH LOVE
~N~