When I turned around I saw Evan sitting on the floor beside the table, and the peices of vase were scattered all over.
"Ohh shit.. Are you alright.", I asked, rushing to help him get up.
Evan was rubbing his elbow, which I think he accidently hit the table with.
I helped him to get up from the floor, and made him sit on the bed, making sure he didn't step on the broken pieces accidently.
He sat on the bed, bending, with his head down and elbows on his knees, and was rubbing his temple with his fingers.
"Evan, are you okay?", I asked bending a little in front of him to check if he was okay.
He just nodded.
I kept my bag on the side table, sighed and bend down on my knees to collect the broken peices. Somebody has to clean it, or he would get hurt if he stands up again.
"I'll do it. You go.", he said.
I didn't respond.
I was angry.
I don't know why... but I was.
I was upset. I wanted to take care of him, but he was being so difficult.
I kept collecting the pieces one by one carefully.
"I said I'll do it Becca. Go.", he said this time attempting to stand up, but he again stumbled a little so he sat on the bed again.
I just ignored.
"Becca...", he started.
"Shut up Evan. Just. Shut. Up.", he was shocked at my sudden outburst.
"Just look at yourself. You are so weak right now. You cannot even stand up properly. Accept it. You. are. not. well! You need help.", I said.
He looked away.
"Look at me Evan. I am talking to you. You want to clean this broken pieces, you think you can? What are you trying to do? Get yourself killed in everyone's absense? ", I said it loud, demanding his attention.
He looked at me wide eyed.
When I looked at him, I couldn't help but melt.
I shouldn't shout on him, not right now, he isn't well.
It's not right.
I sighed.
"Evan, please let me take care of you.", I said in a soft tone.
He looked at me for some moments before noding.
Finally!
I went beside him and gestured him to lie down.
He did as I said.
I covered him with a blanket.
"Are you feeling okay?", I asked.
"Headache.", he said.
I sat beside him on the bed and gave him a head massage.
My mom always did that when I had fever.
Initially his eyes widened but he eventually relaxed.
"Close your eyes. Sleep. You need it."
He closed his eyes and after 10 minutes I could hear soft snors.
He looked so peaceful.
Thank god he slept!
He needed to sleep.
He was going through all this because of me.
He is so angry on me. Will he even forgive me?
I didn't even get an opportunity to apologize.
But right now, I just want him to get alright.
My eyes were heavy as well...
_______________________________________
I realised that I had fallen asleep sitting beside Evan, I yawned and checked my phone. I realsied that I slept for around two hours.
"Shit.", I crused under my breath.
I looked down at Evan.
He was still sleeping peacefully.
I decided to just order something and eat.
I placed my hand on Evan's forehead to check the temperature.
It was still hot.
I decided to let him sleep it out.
In the meantime, I decided to do my homework and read some book or something.
_______________________________________
It was early evening, when I finished my homework for the whole week.
Evan was still sleeping.
I went close to him.
I placed my hand on his forehead and also checked his neck, to see if he still had high fever.
It was normal now.
Phewww....!
I sighed in relief.
I looked at his face.
Those eyes, that pair of lips, the cute frown that formed between his brows even while he was sleeping, I almost smiled at it. But then memories of yesterday started filling in.
I did that because I care...
I wanted to take efforts...
I wanted to give US a chance...
I am not fake...
His words kept rewinding in mind. I was shaken up from my thoughts when Evan moved a little.
I think he is going to wake up now..
I decided to go downstairs in the kitchen and make a soup for him before he wakes up.
_______________________________________
I was sitting on the kitchen counter, waiting for the soup to boil, when I heard the door of Evan's room open.
I got down and walked towards the steps, what if collapses again?
When I reached near the steps, I saw Evan already coming down.
He had changed his clothes. He was wearing a black t shirt and grey loose track pants. He was climbimg dowm the steps with one hand in his pocket and the other he was running through his hair. I could make out from his puffy eyes, that he slept well. He looked better than he was looking in the morning.
"Feeling good?", I asked nervously.
Evan looked okay now, I was wondering if it was the right time to apologize.
He didn't answer.
I knew he was ignoring me on purpose.
He went near the fridge taking out a bottle of water from it.
Before he could drink water from the bottle, I stopped him.
"You shouldn't drink cold water, ummm... you'll catch cold again.", I said in a very low voice.
He didn't listen to me ofcourse, he still drank the water from the bottle.
I sighed.
I knew he was doing all this on purpose.
I went to the kitchen counter, and poured the soup in a bowl and placed it on the dining table in front of him.
"I ... uh... made the soup for you, you'll feel better.", I said.
I was like a nervous wreck right now.
I took a seat in front of him on the dining table. He didn't utter a word, he just pushed the bowl away.
"Evan, I made it for you. I have put herbs in it. Please have it, it'll make you feel better.", I said pushing the bowl again in his direction.
He pushed it in my direction back.
"Please Evan Have it.",I said and gave the bowl to him again.
He again pushed it in my direction. Again.
Urgh.. this guy.. so stubborn.
"Evan!",I was agitated now.
I again placed the bowl in front of him.
He again tried to push it in my direction, "I told you, I don't want....", he was saying, but he moved his hand with little more force.
And before I could register what happened, I could feel the hot liquid on my top, some on my face and on my hands, the bowl and remaining soup on the floor beside my chair.
I stood up from the chair, holding the material of the top away from body, because the soup was really hot.
"Shit...", Evan cursed under his breath.
My eyes were pooling with tears.
"I didn't mean to....", Evan stood from his seat, grabbed a napkin and came towards me.
"Its okay, I know it was an accident.", I managed to say.
He nodded and handed me the napkin.
"You should go and clean yourself.", he said pointing to the bathroom.
I nodded and headed to the bathroom.
I literally cried.
I have never felt so bad before.
I didn't know what I was feeling.
I just wanted to curl up in the corner and cry.
I cleaned myself, and washed my face as well. I cleaned my tshirt as well, but it was drenched now.
Shit.. what am I gonna do now...
When I came out, Evan was cleaning the soup on the floor. I stood there still wearing the wet tshirt, I hugged myself in attempt to hid the fact that my tshirt was now wet.
He placed the bowl and the spoon in the sink, grabbed something that was kept on the dinning and came to me.
"Take this, wear it.", he said in a monotone, not even looking at me, giving me a dark blue coloured tshirt.
Evan got me his tshirt? He was giving me his tshirt to wear?
"No, its fine. I cant take it.", I said.
"Take it.", he said placing it in my hand forecully.
Before I could say something, he interrupted.
"You can use my room to change.", he said.
He sounded so cold, so angry, so distant.
I was kind of missing the sweet Evan right now.
I went to his room and changed my top. Evan's tshirt was ofcourse big for me, buf it was very comfortable. I like comfy clothes. His tshirt smelled of him. I was sort of enjoying it.
When I went downstairs, he was sitting on the dinning table, playing with the cube.
"Thanks.", I said, referring to his tshirt, unsure about what else to say.
It was so awkward.
He looked at me for some moments and nodded.
"I feel okay now. You should go", he said without any emotion in his voice.
Noo... I cannot leave. I haven't apologized yet.
But he was fine now, I had no other reason to stay now.
I gathered all my guts and spoke.
"Evan.. about yesterday..."
"Its getting dark outside Becca."
"I want to talk to you.", I said pleading.
"I don't want to talk about anything.", he said starting to walk away from there and went to the living room.
I went behind him, grabbed his arm and forced him to turn and look at me.
"Please...", I said still holding his arm, tears threatening to come of my eyes.
He sighed.
I stood in front of him and looked up at him right into his eyes.
"I am sorry Evan.", I said as a tear escaped from my eye.
"Don't apologize Becca. There is no need. Don't do this. It just doesn't matter.", he said in a monotone.
He voice sounded so cold, it almost broke me.
"I know you are mad at me. I know it was my fault, and I realised. I misunderstood and in the heat of the situation, I said somethings that I shouldn't have said. I messed up big time. I am sorry.", I pleaded.
He didn't say anything.
He was just standing there looking at me, his expression softened.
I wiped the tears with back of my hand.
"Evan.. say something.. I am sorry.. punish me if you want, slap me. But don't talk to me. This silence is killing me. I know I deserve to be punished..", I said. The tears had stopped but I still felt terrible.
"Becca... I don't know. I just...", he said in a very soft tone.
He ran his hands through his hair.
I had no idea what he was thinking.
I waited for him to respond.
He went and stood near a table, taking its support and crossed his arms against his chest.
"Evan.. please say something..", I pleaded.
"I don't know what to say. I don't know what I want right now. It's just too much happening. You know it's difficult for me. I really did want to give US a chance. It takes a lot to let someone in for me. And when I actually started accepting you, as a person who I thought was important for me, you accused me of being selfish and fake. Becca, it is difficult for me. I have lost a lot of people in my life, it hurts to loose more people, which is why I maintain distance from everybody. I don't allow anyone to come in. But I allowed you... because I really wanted to.. I am scared of loosing you as well and.. when you called me fake, I was taken aback..."
I was shocked at what he said.
"Will you never talk to me again?", I asked, almost crying.
He didn't respond.
That silence was killing me.
Did his silence mean yes?
No.. I can't let him go...
"Please Evan. I know what I said was wrong. You just wanted me to be happy, I... I... just misunderstood it all. I know I messed up big time and you don't want to see my face anymore. But Please forgive me. I don't want you to hate me. Please don't hate me.", I said and sat on the couch of the living room beside me and covering my face with my hands.
I was sobbing.
"Please... don't.. hate.. me..", I managed to say between the sobs.
"Becca, don't cry please."
I couldn't stop crying.
I heard him sigh.
"Becca, look at me.", I heard Evan say.
He forced me to move my hands away from my face so that I could look at him.
He was kneeling down on the floor beside where I was sitting on the couch.
He wiped my tears with his thumbs and held my face both his hands.
"I cannot hate you even if I want Becca.", he said.
"But ... you were not even ready to look at me. You didn't talk to me. You didn't allow me to take care of you. I hurt you.", I said.
"Hate is a strong word. I can be mad at you, I can never hate you.", he said.
I looked up at him.
"Please forgive me..", I said between the sobs.
His expressions softened.
He sighed and nodded. I soft smile forming on his lips.
"I am so sorry Evan", I said and engulfed him into a big hug, wrapping my hand around his neck.
He was shocked initially, but he eventually hugged me back.
I tightened my arms around him. I didn't want to leave him.
"Ahh.. Can't breathe Becca.", he said in a teasing tone.
I unwrapped my arms from around his neck and hit his chest. I huffed and turned away from him crossing my arms against my chest.
"Isn't it my turn my time to be mad right now?", I heard him say.
I turned again in his direction and raised my brows.
He was now standing with his hands in his pocket and smirking.
I so missed the smirk.
I bit my lip nervously.
"Still mad?", I asked making a puppy dog face.
He nodded.
"Are you still not going to talk to me?", I asked nervously.
"Maybe.. let me think...", he shrugged.
"Ohh.. please don't. What do I do to make it upto you? ", I said standing up from the couch.
He pretended to think for sometime.
"I don't think there is anything that you can do for me. Forget it. I think you'll have to stay with the guilt for some more time.", he said.
I frowned at what he said.
"But.. I.. I.. said I am sorry.. I promised I wouldn't do it again.", I pleaded and covered my face with my hands again.
"Okay okay... don't cry again. I am just kidding.", he said.
What the...
"You stupid.. you know you scared me. It is was so difficult for me to bare that coldness from you!", I said hitting his on his chest trying to push him away.
As I pushed him away, he grabed my hand and pulled me close to me.
"Was it that hard to not talk to me?", He asked.
He was looking right into my eyes.
"Very.", I said.
"Why..?"
"Because Evan, you mean a lot to me, I don't want to loose you. And the thought that you'll never talk to me scared me.", I said.
"I'll never go away.", he said stepping close to me.
"Promise?", I asked.
He nodded and hugged him again.
I hugged him. My head was on his chest and his chin resting on my head. It felt so warm here. I could smell his scent.
As if this was the place where I wanted to always be. Close to him.
"Becca?"
"Hmm??"
"I wanted to tell you something.."
"Ya?", I asked.
"I...", he said and paused.
My eyes widened as he started but I didn't pull apart. I was still hugging him.
"I am very hungry Becca.", he said.
Whattttt????
Hungry??
Ofcourse what else were you expecting Becca.
We pulled apart.
"When was the last you ate?", I asked.
I dont remember him eatimg anything today.
"Yesterday morning.", he said and shrugged.
"What? Yesterday morning??", I asked shocked.
"Yes, yesterday after we had that argument, I didn't really have my lunch and dinner. And today....you know..", he said scratching the back of his neck.
"You are so stupid Evan. Who stays hungry for so long?"
"I just didn't feel like eating.", he said.
"Why?"
"I was disturbed, couldn't think straight.", he said and a soft smile forming on his face.
"Oh Evan..", I sighed.
He suffered so much because of me.
"But now that everything is fine and I feel terribly hungry.", he said pouting.
"Lets order something." I said smiling.
"Your treat.", he immediately said and we laughed.
Thank god things got alright with him..
It is suprising how in the matter of only somedays a person can become so important to you.
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