Isn't White such a pretty colour? It gives you a sense of purity. Like turning over a new leaf.
As of today, [Y/N] could no longer see colours. All the shades of Pink and tones of Blue that have been built up until now have crumbled down. The range of Orange and the vast myriad of Red that brought joy to her life just disappeared. All the colours she's seen over the past year were all replaced with Grey, Black, and... White. The filter of her dull life replaced her joyous one. But none of it mattered anymore. [Y/N] knew it would happen soon. She kept telling herself to be ready for the loss of it. But months passed after she first saw Blue, and she totally forgot about it. She knew, yet she didn't want to. The moment she lost Blue, she realised her time was up. No more playing colours or games. No more fantasies or dreams. No more enjoying or laughing.
"Time to wake up to reality." The shadow man in her mind said.
Going back to school, [Y/N] saw herself walking in front of her. Like a vague memory of her past self. The one that was surrounded by colours until that unfortunate day. She saw herself always looking up at the blue sky, smiling to herself. Her past self would look at the lush grass nearby and just stop for a second to admire them. That was the kind of past self [Y/N] wanted back. Not the past self which was filled with nothing but emptiness and darkness. She didn't want that. But, oh, what could she do? [Y/N] ended up returning to that past self. The horrible, frightening, scary one.
And to be honest, though she never showed it on her face, [Y/N] was breaking. Her heart broke anytime she saw the sky, anytime she saw her classmates, heck, anytime she even saw Kenma in class. Knowing that she no longer can see colours tore her apart. Even though she already experienced a colourless life ever since she was born, it was hard. It was a struggle to accept the fact that she had to relive the exact same life she dreaded so much. But, oh, what can she do?
And so, 4 months have passed. A month with totally no colours. The rumour of her losing her colours soon spread again. And she was bullied again. She was glared at again. Again, and again, and again. Everything she experienced before she met Kuroo was coming back again. She just wanted to crawl up a hole and just lie in there. Forever. Sakura was still talking to [Y/N], but every now and then, she would talk about how much she fell in love with Kuroo and so on. She even said (in her extremely bubbly voice) that she went home with him once or twice, and it silently cracked [Y/N]'s heart upon hearing that. But nevertheless, [Y/N] kept her poker face on and nodded to Sakura.
"Hey, should I ask him out tomorrow?"
'No, please....' But instead she said, "Up to you."
"Hmm... Then I think I'll ask tomorrow! Since you know, it's a Friday and we end class early. But, do you think he'll accept?"
'I really hope not...' But instead she said, "If he likes you, then yeah."
"Then I will! Hope you'll root for me, [Y/N]." She was about to return to her seat. But before she did, Sakura turned around and smiled. "And, for the last time, thank you SO much that you stopped talking to him! It means a lot to me! Hahaha, I almost thought you liked him! But oh well, once a colourless, always a colourless. Oops!" And she jokingly laughed it off.
"..."
The bell rung, signalling lunch to be over. Sakura returned to her seat and class resumed as per normal. [Y/N] was still paying attention to the teacher, but the class was a bit boring for a Thursday. Every once in a while, she would scan the class and always stop at Kenma for a moment. Looking at him and his usual cat face made [Y/N] feel guilty. Kenma was the one who comforted her when she cried, the one who was with her when Kuroo wasn't, and the one who never judged her, along with Kuroo. Yet she pushed him away. "For the best" She always said. But was it really? Was it not because she didn't want to hurt him as well? [Y/N] didn't know.
When class ended, Sakura said that she had an errand to run so she said her short goodbyes to [Y/N] and dashed out of the school. As for [Y/N], she decided to stay in class for awhile and finish up her homework. She took out her earpiece and her homework and started doing it, trying to forget the fact that Sakura was going to confess her love for Kuroo the next day.
30 minutes passed and [Y/N] was almost done with all her homework. She decided to take a little break before continuing on with whatever she had left. She rested her head on the table and listened to the music that was playing. She was about to fall asleep when she heard the front door slide open. [Y/N] groggily looked up and saw Kenma going over to his table to take his game that he left underneath.
"Ah."
"Hm?"
The two made eye contact, and for a moment, they both looked sad. Kenma took his game and shoved it in his jacket before going up to [Y/N] to talk to her.
"Hey." He tried to do a small smile.
"Hi." She tried to return it back.
Kenma wanted to ask her something like "Are you feeling better?" but instead, he decided to be straightforward and say, "Kuroo's in the gym."
"Huh?" Her heart sank a little when she heard his name. "Oh ok." She rested her head on the table again.
"You're not going to talk to him?" He was slightly taken back by her lack of reaction.
"Why should I? You know he'll end up avoiding me anyways."
"But it's worth a try, isn't it?"
Silence surrounded the room for a minute.
Kenma sighed. "Nevermind. Forget that I even ask--"
"Do you..." [Y/N] softly said. "...believe in the soulmate system?"
"Hm? Oh, that one. Kind of. But that depends. I haven't met my loved one yet."
"Oh."
"Why? Is it about Kuroo?"
"..." She couldn't hide it anymore. Although [Y/N] mentioned before to Sakura that she never believed in it, after meeting Kuroo, she did. She thought that Kuroo could have been the one for her. Maybe. She wasn't 100% sure. But she hoped. She hoped that she could one day tell Kuroo about how she felt, and if he felt the same way. "Yeah." And she told Kenma everything.
"Oh, now I get it." He chuckled.
"Oh really? What do you get? That I'm just someone who--"
"Go see him, [Y/N]." He gave her a small smile.
"Huh? W-Why?"
"You love him, don't you?"
[Y/N]'s face was slightly warm when he said that. "Wh-What? I'm not-- I don't-- He doesn't even--"
"[Y/N], Just ask him to walk home with you. Talk about it. Start over." He urged her on. "He doesn't know about how you feel. He probably feels the same. Just go talk to him about it. He'll understand."
"How do you-- I can't even look at him in the eye anymore!"
Kenma just sighed.
In the end, Kenma eventually managed to convince [Y/N] to go talk it out with Kuroo. He told her to just ask him after their practice ended, and continue from there. Then Kenma left the classroom to go back to the gym. "I'll do my part" He said before he left. And so [Y/N] just sat in the classroom for another 2h, waiting for Nekoma's volleyball team to finish their practice. The entire time, she was debating whether she should actually go talk to him or ignore what Kenma said. "Maybe...not." She whispered.
But before she knew it, [Y/N] dragged her feet to the gym entrance. Their practice ended, and she saw a few members walk out. She waited. She waited for their captain to come out. Her palms were sweaty. She felt extremely nervous. She looked at her surroundings again and saw something that stood out. A White flower. At least, that's what [Y/N] saw.
"White... Doesn't that mean pure?" That's when she realised what Kenma said. Back when [Y/N] was still talking to Kenma in the classroom, he said something that confused [Y/N]. But now, she understood. And she was slightly relieved.
"If you think you're life's all grey and black, you're wrong. You still have White."
"[Y/N]?"
She turned around to see the owner of the voice. Her face "glowed" in a way, and her heart started beating faster. She properly faced him, and came up with the best smile she could come up with.
'This time,' She thought.
I'll make it right. I'll fix my mistake and we'll go back to the awkward friends we once were.' She took a deep breath,
'White-- the colour of purity. I always thought it was just another colour. But,' and with all her might,
White is the colour of turning over a new leaf. So please, O deity Gods, please let me--' she said,
"Oh, Kuroo! Want to walk home with me?"