"Are you avoiding him?" Louis asks.
Liam tilts his head, looking down at Louis from his bunk. Louis is standing just between the two sets of beds, hands on his hips, looking a little peeved. Niall is beside him, eyebrows raised expectantly, and Liam's been waiting for this, waiting for them to gang up on him. Doesn't mean he's going to give up without a fight, though. "Avoiding who?" he asks, innocent as one can sound when they're in Zayn Malik's body.
"Don't pull that shit," Louis warns. "You've lost your puppy eyes, Liam. It's not as effective. You can't pout your way out of this one."
"I dunno," Niall muses. "Zayn does a good wounded animal face, too." He reaches up, pinching Liam's cheeks. "You're cute. Why the hell are you avoiding Zayn?"
Liam swats his hand away. "I'm not avoiding anyone. I'm trying to nap."
"Liar," Louis says.
What's Liam supposed to say here, though? That he's avoiding Zayn because they'd kind of gotten each other off while in each other's bodies and he'd liked watching Zayn come apart too much and he feels like a creep because every time he looks in the mirror he wants to strip off his clothes and wrap a hand around himself just to watch it again? Because he has a feeling that won't go over very well with anyone, least of all Zayn. And if he tells Niall and Louis, he might as well be saying it straight to Zayn's face. You can't keep secrets in this band; they've all got big mouths.
"I'm not avoiding him," Liam says firmly.
"You're not avoiding him," Louis mocks. "You don't have a problem with the engagement. You're not in love with him." He rolls his eyes and Niall snickers. "Babe, how many times do I have to tell you that you can't lie for shit?"
"Maybe it's got to do with Perrie coming," Niall says.
Liam and Louis both tense up. Liam's heart feels like it just plummeted into his stomach. "What did you just say?"
"She's not coming," Louis gasps. "Niall, tell me she's not coming."
"Uh." Niall shrugs sheepishly. "What? Zayn asked me not to mention it!"
No. No way is she coming. No way is Zayn doing this to him. He can't ask that of Liam. He can't expect Liam to put on a happy smile around her and pretend to be her happily devoted husband-to-be. He can't. Liam will have a breakdown. It's bad enough to have to accept the fact that they're engaged; this is— this is too much.
Liam swings his legs down, hoping off the bunk. He shoves past Louis and Niall like they're pieces of furniture. He finds Zayn on the sofa, giggling laughter with his mouth hanging open as Harry attempts to get pieces of popcorn into his mouth. Harry manages, a piece landing perfectly on Zayn's tongue, and Zayn closes his mouth, swallows, and says, "Liam's mouth is good for a lot of things, apparently."
"What else do you think it's useful for?" Harry asks. "Oh, wait, you don't have to answer that, I already know what you think it'd be good for."
Liam doesn't even try to figure out that exchange. "Zayn," he says.
Zayn slowly sits up, blinking lazily at him. "You talking to me again, then?"
It's not like Liam's really been avoiding him. He hasn't. He's just been spending as much time not looking at, talking to, or thinking about Zayn as he can. Right now, he wishes he could keep doing that, but he can't. "Niall said — Niall said Perrie is coming."
"You didn't tell him?" Harry demands. "Zayn, what the hell?"
Zayn licks his lips. Liam always thought that maybe Zayn's lips were just extra dry, since Zayn is always licking at them, wetting them with his tongue. But apparently they aren't; it's just a nervous tick. "I, um." He pauses, running a hand through his hair. "I thought I mentioned it."
"You didn't," Liam says, accusatory and flat. "How could you not have mentioned it? Do you realize what this means?"
"I didn't think I'd have to tell you!" Zayn says, getting defensive. He pushes off the sofa, arms crossed over his chest. Liam's body looks intimidating like that, he thinks. He's never thought of himself as an intimidating type of person, but with his arm muscles bulging and his mouth set like that, he kind of is. "I thought we'd change back before she got here!"
"It's been almost a week and we haven't!" Liam reminds him. "Now what the hell are we supposed to do? We can fool a crowd, but do you really think we can fool your fiancée?"
Zayn winces, like Liam slapped him. "I — I don't know," he says. "None of this was planned, Liam! I tried telling her not to come but it's a little difficult over text to explain to your girlfr— your fiancée that you don't want her to come visit you over text when you've had her visit planned for months, okay?"
"You've known for months," Liam says, "and you didn't think to warn me that it might be a possibility?"
"I'm going to go... anywhere but here," Harry says, getting up.
"I was definitely going to fit it in somewhere between switching fucking bodies with you and the— the other stuff that happened," Zayn snaps, sweat breaking out on his forehead the way it does to Liam whenever he's nervous and upset. "I didn't mean for this to happen," he adds, lower, apologetic. "But it did, and we're going to have to just deal with it."
Liam sucks in a breath, lowering his gaze. "What if I don't want to do it?"
"You don't really have a choice, Liam."
"What if I did this to you?" Liam demands. "Maybe I should, actually. I'll call my girlfriend right now, offer her a plane ticket out here—"
"Don't you fucking dare," Zayn seethes.
Liam takes a step back at the frightening tone of Zayn's voice. He wasn't actually going to do it, he's not that stupid, but he didn't expect Zayn to get so angry about it. But he looks livid, fucking furious at the idea. "I-I won't," Liam hastily says. "I wouldn't actually."
"Seriously," Zayn says. "I'll break up with her, don't even test me, Liam."
In the distance, muffled and barely audible, Louis calls "Bitter!" and Zayn's cheeks burn red.
"Whatever," Liam says. "When does she get here, so I have time to — to prepare, or whatever." Because Liam's going to need days, at least, to mentally set himself up for this. To prepare himself to pretend to be all loved-up with Zayn's girlfriend. "And I'm not kissing her."
"That probably won't be a problem," Zayn says easily. Liam has only a second to wonder why the hell that wouldn't be a problem when Zayn continues with, "She's meeting up with us in Sydney."
Liam takes a deep breath. Liam pinches the bridge of his nose. Liam thinks of how it felt when they'd released What Makes You Beautiful. Liam thinks of winning their first Brit award. Liam thinks of Zayn in the morning when his eyes are half closed and he stretches like a cat, ending in a sleepy, soft yawn. Liam thinks of every single happy memory he has just so he doesn't strangle Zayn.
"That's in five days," Liam says. "That's in five days Zayn!" He sinks down onto the couch, putting his head in his hands. "I can't believe you waited this long to tell me."
"It's not exactly as if you've been talking to me these last couple days," Zayn says. He sits himself beside Liam, nervously fidgeting. His leg jiggles, he keeps licking at his lips, and he's running his hands through his hair so often that it looks horribly messy and not flattering the way Zayn's dark, thick hair looks when he's messed it up. "Why haven't you been talking to me these last couple days?"
Silence.
"I can't deal with you shutting me out," Zayn says. "I really — I really can't, Liam. I need you too much."
He sounds so freaking hurt and broken over it, and Liam feels so guilty for doing that to him. And for liking it. For liking that Zayn needs him enough that it tears him apart when Liam isn't there for him. That makes him a horrible person, he knows, but there it is.
"I'm sorry," Liam says. "I didn't mean to shut you out."
"Mind telling me why you did?" Zayn asks.
Liam bites his lip and looks away.
"If it — if it has to do with what we did," Zayn starts, and Liam shakes his head fiercely. "Then what is it?"
"It's just... a lot," Liam lies. "All of this. And sometimes I get lost in my head, you know? I didn't mean to shut you out. I was just— I was just trying to work this whole thing out, that's all. It wasn't personal."
Zayn's arm goes around his shoulder, a hesitant smile on his lips, pushing up his cheeks, crinkling Liam's brown eyes. "Work it out with me, maybe? I mean, I can kind of relate, dude."
Liam lets out a weak laugh, and he prays Zayn can't tell the difference between it and his genuine one. "I guess you can."
*