That evening as she worked her shift she realized she was a social pariah. Sally who had been so friendly up until that point completely ignored her as did all of the others. Rachel who had found a peace over the last month was suddenly worse off than she had ever been.
The next week went by and there was no change. Rachel did not seek anyone out and she did not try to explain herself to anyone. What could she say other than Jack was her husband and none of them understood. There was no way she was going to let Jack force her into defending herself. When Jack had left her the first time he had not annihilated her life. This time he had.
Rachel had the support of Addie and Paul, but somehow they had been assigned new duties which caused their schedule to be so different from her own that she barely saw them.
Nurse Bowers was looking more and more chipper every time she saw her. She almost glowed when she saw Rachel sitting by herself at meal times. Jack, when he saw her looked right through her, it was as if she didn't exist. Rachel did her best to not only avoid all contact, but the sight of the man as well.
It was hard to do, especially when he did his rounds at night, but the other nurses had closed ranks and made sure that she was doing other things when he arrived. Rachel knew this and was happy to fall in with their plans.
Even Brent had left her alone.
After the second week of complete isolation she had had enough and wrote out her letter of resignation. It was just after lunch when she knocked on Nurse Bowers's office door.
She was bid to enter and she did so closing the door behind her.
"Yes, Nurse Edwards." She sounded almost friendly.
"I am guessing you were expecting this." She handed over the letter.
To her credit she kept her face straight as she read the letter. "I will see what we can do about travel arrangements." was all she said before she went back to her previous task.
Rachel turned around and reached for the door knob. "Oh Nurse Edwards, this resignation is effective immediately. There will be no need for you work this evening."
Rachel stopped and looked over at Bowers whose head was bowed to hide the smile on her lips. There were so many scathing comments she could have made, but none of them would have made a difference in the current situation, so she left the office without a word.
That evening she was able to catch up with Paul and Addie and join them for dinner.
"You really don't look well Rachel," Addie said looking at her with concern.
"It's taxing work, being a social pariah." Rachel tried to make a joke but it failed miserable.
"Why don't you just tell everyone?" Paul asked between bites of food.
"No, what would be the point?"
"Everyone would know that you didn't cheat."
"You don't know women Paul." Rachel had thought about it all, over and over again, trying to find a way out of her current situation. "So it comes out that I didn't cheat, then I would be the women that wasn't able to keep him, then it would become that I wasn't good enough for him, then I would be the boss's wife, and on top of all that he will have won. I have little doubt as to why he wanted me here. To have to admit the truth and then have him divorce me would be..." she couldn't even continue. After a moment she cleared her throat. "No, I think it's best that I gave my resignation today."
"You what!" Addie all but shouted. Several people turned to look at them their looks were ones of disgust that she was causing another scene.
"Yep, it would seem Bowers's record is unbroken." Rachel tried another joke, but it dropped like a stone.
"I'm really starting to dislike Jack for what he is doing to you." Addie shook her head.
Rachel shrugged.
Paul and Addie spent the next ten minutes trying to convince her to stay. Then all of the sudden there was the slap of a hand in front of her on the table and under it was a white sheet of paper that was torn in half.
"Your resignation is not accepted Nurse Edwards." Jack's voice was vicious in her ear as he hovered next to her.
Rachel closed her eyes at his nearness.
"Let me go Jack, please." Her voice cracked.
"No, you promised that you would help raise the funds at Ava's party, and I'm holding you to that."
"I can do that. I will attended every party with you. Just please don't make me stay here."
"No, you will stay." He pushed off the table and surged towards the exit.
"I will not," she called. "I am leaving tomorrow, and there is nothing you can do about it."
He froze. Rachel knew she had pushed the button. He had been holding on to his temper for too long, and now it was about to erupt.
Paul knew it too as he grabbed her and hauled her out the door and past Jack with Jack hot on their heels. Jack grabbed her arm and took over for Paul, not saying a word as he dragged her to his trailer.
"I'm not going in there." Rachel put on the breaks.
"You really want to do this out here?"
"I don't want to do this period."
"Rachel," Jack took a deep breath as he looked towards the sky. "I cannot take you to a party and have you talk about WAMM and only have spent a few months here. You need to have been here, working and learning, longer than that. It will be expected, you have to be able to answer questions."
"I'm hated Jack. I go all day without a word being spoken to me. I may have been on my own before, but I had a few people who would talk to me if nothing else. The only people who will even meet my eye are Paul and Addie and Bowers keeps them so far away from me that I'm lucky to see them once a week."
"I think you're exaggerating," Jack said shaking his head. "No one has treated me differently."
"They love you. You are a god to them, I'm the married woman who brought you down. You're Sampson and I'm Delilah."
"Well then just tell them that we're married and it will be over," he insisted
"That's just it, it won't be. Then the humiliation when we divorce will be unbearable."
Jack rubbed his face suddenly looking as weary as she felt.
"Why did you do it Jack? I know you never loved me, but when did you start to hate me?"
"I don't hate you Rachel, but I am tired of this." He sighed. "You will stay here and learn. I won't fight you on the rest. I will do my best to try to put right the rumors. After we return home we'll divorce, and you can go on your way if that's what you want. But I need your help with this. Ava is expecting it."
Rachel nodded closing her eyes. "How long?"
"Probably about four more months here and another two more back home."
Rachel fought back the tears. Six more months of hell and Addie would be leaving in three. Then she would only have Paul. That was if he didn't go home with her.
"Addie has asked to stay," Jack said as if reading her thoughts.
"She has?"
"Yes, it seems she and Paul are developing a relationship, and he is in this for the long haul, and she's eager to join him."
Rachel smiled, her heart a little lighter. "I'm glad. You should replace Bowers with her. Addie would be excellent at her job," she said offhandedly.
Jack turned her back towards the compound walking her towards the wards. "You have your regular duty tonight, and I will escort you there."
"That's not necessary, Jack." She pulled away.
He stopped and looked down at her considering all of the options before nodding. "Four more months here and then two months back home."
Rachel nodded looking up at Jack. When their eyes met he was looking at her searchingly as if trying to figure out a complex question. "Did you love me Ray? Before I left you?"
It caught Rachel so off guard she gasped. Then the tears started.
Why should she try to hide it any longer these past few weeks had shredded any sense of pride that she had. "I have loved you, no I have been in love with you, since I was fifteen Jack." She closed her eyes so she missed his wide eyed look of shock. Anyone looking at him would have thought that they had told him aliens had just landed and were about to invade.
Rachel turned and left him before she could sense his pity.
*******
The next few months saw some improvements to the way she was treated but not much. She wasn't a social pariah anymore, and people did talk to her, but she was never going to be trusted or even liked again.
"Do you want to know what the current gossip is?" Addie asked one night in their room while Rachel was reading, she never went to the social gatherings, and Addie was darning her socks.
"Do I have a choice?" Rachel asked, laying her book down.
"Never mind," Addie said looking a little hurt as Rachel's abrupt reply.
"I'm sorry Addie. You didn't deserve that." She leaned her head back against the wall behind her with a sigh.
Addie remained silent obviously not going to tell her the gossip now without being asked, and Rachel felt her lips forming a smile at the humor of it. Finally, Rachel picked up her extra pillow and threw it at Addie. "Sitting over there looking so cool butter wouldn't melt in your mouth, what's the gossip?"
Addie face broke into a huge grin as she laughed. "I knew you would want to know."
"Someone overheard a conversation between Jack and Dr. Lancaster. Jack wanted to know why everyone was treating you badly-,"
"He knows why!"
Addie nodded not stopping, "Dr. Lancaster told him that she was disappointed in him. She said that she had known him for many years, and it was not like him to have an affair, or if it was it was not like him to be so careless. The fact that it was with a married woman was worse. Jack denied an affair with anyone, especially a married woman. Then he asked who the supposed affair was with-" Addie took a deep breath pausing for effect. "When Dr. Lancaster said your name he supposedly went through the roof, talking about how he knew your family for years and knew you when you were a kid, and even the thought of an affair with you was outrageous. Then he wanted to know why people thought that."
"He knows why people think we had an affair he-"
Addie held up her hand nodding. "Dr. Lancaster said the same thing you are about to, and when he heard it he started laughing and said that you had left your rings with him for safe keeping because you were nervous to sleep with them in your room."
Addie looked at Rachel who was playing with the edge of her book. She knew Jack must have hated telling that lie. "He must have been very convincing because she bought it as did the few nurses who were making the rounds with him. For good measure he even stated that if he was going to engage in a secret affair he would be much more careful than to hand back the rings in the middle of the cafeteria during breakfast."
"That much is true at least." Rachel closed her eyes.
"So the rest isn't?" Addie couldn't hide the curiosity in her voice.
"No, I spent the night with Jack and gave him his rings back before he could ask for them."
"How did you know he was going to ask you for them?"
"He brought me out here, didn't he? Why would he do that if not for a divorce?"
"Because he wanted you with him. I would think it would be the opposite if he wanted a divorce. The longer you spend apart the stronger the case for a divorce, isn't that how it works."
"Jack likes to do things face to face. If he was going to ask me for a divorce then he would do it face to face."
"Sure, but wouldn't he just visit you back home? To bring you here, ask you, then live with you for eighteen months makes no sense."
"Neither does Jack," Rachel said, pushing the rising hope she felt back down. "He was probably making sure that I was mentally stable before he asked for the divorce, and he couldn't do that in a single visit. Not to mention with a lot of other people around it would be less likely that I would become mentally unstable."
It sounded plausible, but in reality they had always agreed that whatever happened they would be friends, and he hadn't known she was in love with him, so he probably felt like it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and she would get the chance to live her dream of working for an organization like WAMM.
"Paul said he came across the two of you in the hotel during a heated conversation, and it looked like you had kicked the poor man, but when he tried to explain you cut him off before he could."
"What would have been the point?" Rachel jumped up and started pacing.
"I remember you said something to Jack that made him look like you had sucker punched him."
"Yes, guilt can make a person look like that."
"Guilt?" Addie set her sock down and looked at Rachel, waiting for her patiently to continue.
"I have been in love with Jack since I was fifteen years old. To him I was just a kid, which is understandable since he was twenty-seven. My father was his mentor and loved him like a son. When he, my father, found out he was dying he asked Jack to marry me."
"No!"
Rachel grimaced. "Yes, I was twenty three, just out of college, and madly in love with him. Who wouldn't be? Jack and I talked about it and decided that for my father it would be the best thing, and we were happy for two years, as happy as one can be while watching their father's and mentor's life draining away. We knew the same people, and everyone said it was a love match, and even my father who knew that I loved Jack was pleased." Rachel was silent as memories pressed down on her. Breakfast in the garden, Christmas morning, dinner parties, having Jack supportive by her side.
"What happened?" Addie asked softly, sensing she was somewhere else, but wanting her to continue.
"My father died and Jack left." Rachel shrugged
"Your marriage was it...normal?"
Rachel looked at Addie who was blushing, and as much as she would have loved to have given her a hard time she couldn't.
"I mean if you and Jack weren't physical, could that be why he left?"
"No, Jack and I had a true marriage in every sense of the word, and as far as I know it was very strong in the bedroom, and it still was a few weeks ago."
"Paul said he saw the two of you kiss and it was electric."
"Electric." Rachel turned the word over in her head. "That's a good description. That and heart stopping."
"Why would he leave then?"
Rachel sighed as she sat back down. "That's my question, and the only answer I can think of is that he wanted out of the marriage. Jack is a master at hiding what he is feeling. He was about to lose it when he gave me those rings back, otherwise I think he would have thought better of it." Rachel finally got it. He was angry at her for ending it, but he had also been angry at what Ava had done, and the rings were his pay back, but he was too angry to think it out, he just reacted.
"He was?"
"Yes. Ava's husband Bob actually made me more aware of Jack and his moods. He is a master at hiding his true feelings. I'm sure that lie about my leaving the rings with him for safe keeping stuck in his throat, but he told it with absolute sincerity."
"And he did it for you. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"Just that he is fond of me, and I never doubted that. He loved my father, so he would have done anything to make him happy just as I would have."
They were both silent for a few minutes with their thoughts.
"I cried when we got engaged," Rachel said on a whisper.
"Why?" Addie picked up her sock.
"I so wanted it to be real, for Jack to want to marry me because he loved me and not because my father asked him to. I know he thought it was because I was upset about my father, but it wasn't." Rachel looked at Addie. "I never told anyone that before."
"Your secret is safe," Addie said absentmindedly. "I still think you're wrong, I don't think Jack wants a divorce. I wish I could have seen that kiss. Then I would know for sure?" Addie smiled to herself.
"Know what for sure?"
Addie just shook her head.
"Hasn't Paul kissed you yet?" Rachel asked changing the subject before Addie started to get her hopes up that there was something there that wasn't.
Addie blushed and nodded.
"So...how was it?"
"Nice."
"Just nice? Not heart stopping?"
"A little heart stopping." Addie giggled.
"Jack told me that you decided to stay on longer, to be with Paul." She nodded.
"Hmmm, yes. He offered me Bowers's job."
Rachel's heart kicked into high gear. Jack had actually listened to her, and that must mean he still respected her. They had been a team once, and the fact that he had listened to her meant that a little of that team spirit was still with them.
"I think you would be great at her job. Are you going to take it?"
"I think so, if for no other reason than to get rid of Bowers" She looked at Rachel and grinned.
"Good." Rachel laid back down and opened her book. "Only two more months of Bowers hell instead of four."