Okay, no smut or anything, but possible trigger. (Fresh scars from cutting/fresh cuts, almost suicide [...?] included)
***Dipper***
I walk to my locker and put my books in it, hoping for today to be a normal day.
... who am I kidding? With Bill, it won't be normal... ever. Since that one day... that he... yeah... he hasn't been doing anything during lunch as often. He's been stopping me in the halls, instead, feeling me up and going as far as to making out with me in front of everyone. People would stare at us, some quietly and lowkey laughing and making fun of us. He holds my hands to class and sits close beside me all the time during the classes he has with me... he walks me home on the weekdays and stays over on the weekends, sometimes.
And whether I want to admit it or not... it makes me feel just slightly safer when he's around. He's not very scary or anything; he just makes me feel safer to be around. I'll never say it out loud, especially since if I said that, it would come out as if I was falling for him. Hard.
Next week... next week, mum and dad will be gone for a while with Mabel because she needs to get surgery, mum is going with her, and dad has work up there that weekend, coincidentally. I can't miss school... and they don't want to leave me alone... and all other family I have is elsewhere... I need to ask someone, but the three friends I had left me because they saw Bill kissing me in the hall, and they didn't want to be friends with a 'faggot'. Bill's the only person who even talks to me anymore, even if it's all dirty and seductive.
I need to ask him, even if it ends up with him... again... I can't be alone, or else I will freak out.
I watch the blonde walk towards me out of the corner of my eye. I turn in his direction with my head down.
"Afternoon, Pine Tree," He wraps one of his arms around my shoulder.
We start walking as I slowly build up the courage to tell him. "B-bill," I stutter, my voiced cracked. He looks at me. "My parents and sister will be gone for a while... and I can't be alone... and I don't have any friends any more."
He smirks at me. "Well, coincidentally, my parents are leaving out for a while for their anniversary," Oh... so... he will be open... "Would you like to stay at my house for that time, then?" I slowly nod as we reach the lunch room. "This should be fun. We'll have the whole house to ourselves," I hide my blush as we walk into the cafeteria. We go to our regular table and sit, him still with his arm around me. "Do you have your own food?" I shake my head. He pulls out a bag from his backpack and open it, revealing a regular lunch, only doubled. "I guessed so," He gives me one half of all of it. I reluctantly take it and start eating. He snakes his arm down to my side and, every once in a while, kisses the side of my head. He does this everyday...
I feel warm with him. I'm usually cold, but because he holds me all the time, he keeps me warm... I shouldn't be. He hurts me, does things without my consent. He took all of my friends and has basically made me his personal slave.
But he still keeps me warm... still keeps me safe... and I can't help but thank him in silence, through everything he's done. No one else picks on me anymore, and I was able to tell my true friends from the hateful and fake ones. I can't help but slightly be greatful.
I still dislike him more than everyone I know, even though I don't really know many people.
"Hey," My thoughts are disrupted by the sound of Bill's voice. I slightly look at him through the corner or my eye. "You're getting a little lost there. Daydreaming about me?" He smirks, kissing the side of my head. I just sit there without responding to his remark. I finish my food and let him continue his.
The rest of the week continues on in the same pattern. We receive glares, threats, a few of those weird supportive faces, and average human faces all week. The bad ones were worse than before, and most of the supporters started dying down to normal faces while others turned into full-blown fangirls. Bill didn't seemed fazed, but I was terrified for my life. I'd tell him so, but he'd just look at me and smile, saying, "Don't worry about it, Pine Tree. I won't let anyone hurt you."
He wasn't lying... there was this one point on Thursday that he wasn't near me for a little bit so he could go turn something in for a teacher.
"Stay here for a bit, okay?" He had walked off with me sitting at the lunch table. I stayed there, cold and terrified of everything. This group came up and surrounded me after I had gotten up to use the restroom. They started pushing me around and calling me a faggoy when Bill suddenly came back. He scared of the kids and looks at me with some odd genuine look of anger and worry. "I told you to stay there," He had grabbed my hand and just brought me back to the table. He kissed me and held me closer than usual. He wouldn't leave my side ever, including after school. He stood with me until I was safely inside of my house, and he waited outside of my house for me to come outside every morning after that day. I could tell that he genuinely cared... that he genuinely does care.
But... if he really does care... then... why would he hurt me? He must be putting up a great act for even me to believe that he cares even remotely.
On Saturday, he came over. Mum, dad, and Mabel were finishing their last bit of packing when he got here. They had all just smiled and said 'have fun', 'be safe', and 'call if you need anything'. Right after they left, he kissed me and started walking me to his house.
Which is where we're headed now. He holds my hand as we walk not saying much. He keeps me on the opposite side of where the road is and scowls at people for staring. I hide away a small smile so he doesn't think I actually like him- which I definitely don't.
We eventually make it to his house. It looks pretty average on the outside, yet slightly old. The walls are brick and the roof is a brown colour. The garage looks old and the driveway is empty with a few cracks in the pavement. From here, it looks like a small, one story home. Bill takes me inside, and the first thing I see is a cute little living roon, but he immediately leads me to the kitchen , where there's a door next to the fridge. He digs through his pocket and finds a a key. He unlocks the door, revealing stairs going down. Stairs... basement? There's a basement?
Wait... there's a basement?? Oh god!! Is he gonna lock me in here??
Apparently, my face is showing visible panic, and Bill notices. He chuckles. "Don't worry, Pine Tree. I'm not gonna do anything bad. The basement is my room, so calm down," Oh... but why would he have a special key for it? Maybe... ahhhg!! I can't let this get to my head! Just... calm down Dipper... you'll survive this... maybe.
We start walking down the stairs, him still holding my hand. Eventually, we make it to a dusty room with a queen sized bed. There's a small TV on top of a dresser, two beanbags, randomly scattered clothes, a nightstand, a random door, and a random box. It's a small, but looks like a pretty average room. The floor is hard with one carpet partially under the bed and beanbags. It's just a teenage boy's room... and, I have to admit, I like it quite a bit.
He takes me over towards his bed and I internally flip. I calm right back down when he just sits us both down, wrapping his arm around me and turning on the TV.
"Anything you want to watch?" He looks at me. My panic is still showing when he looks. "Stop freaking out, I'm not gonna treat you like a slave all week," He smirks at me and gets close to my ear. "Unless that's what you want," My face turns red as I push his head away.
"Let's just watch a movie or something," I say quickly, trying to avoid his eyes.
He chuckles and kisses my cheek repetitively. "You didn't say you didn't want it like that, so I'm going to have to assume that you do," My face turns redder than before and I try to push him away.
"N-no!" He pushes me down and pins me to the bed, my legs dangling off the edge. He holds my hands above my head and I start struggling. "No, I don't- I just wanna watch a movie," He chuckles as he leans down and kisses me, giving me no room to move around.
He surprisingly gets off of me, but holds me closer as he looks through the movie choices on Netflix. He eventually stops on Silence of the Lambs and presses the play button. I hate horror movies... I've never seen this one, but I hate them because I'm terrified of them. I can't show him that...
Not even half way through the movie, I'm shaking in his arms. I hear him chuckle. "Scared, Pine Tree?"
"I'm fine," I meant to speak the two simple words, but they came out as a squeak. He chuckles again and holds me closer, kissing the side of my head. Suddenly, it shows a picture of one of the dead girls. I feel like I'm about to puke, and I suddenly let my fear out. "I'm scared of this movie and I don't want to watch it anymore!! Please turn it off!!" I scream, burying my head into his chest, not knowing where else to go and what else to do. He wraps his arms around me and holds me as close as I let him. I feel myself start to cry. "Please, turn it off, I don't like it," I hold onto him with all of my strength, not even caring that it's him. The noise of the movie stops and everything goes silent. I don't let go, still terrified.
Suddenly, I feel his breathing on my neck and it sends chills down my spine. "I won't let them get you. I promise," The tension in me decreases slowly. After a bit, I slowly pull away from him, still slightly scared. He immediately leans in and kisses me. I push him away two seconds after his lips touch mine.
This look of soft sadness glazes his eyes as he sits up straight. He stands and starts walking towards the random door. "I need to use the bathroom... don't break anything,"
He opens and closes the door. I here a click and just sit silently. There isn't really much to do... and it's gotten pretty late. We left the house around six, the walk here took about an two hours, it took about ten minutes before we started to movie, and we watched forty-five minutes of it. I look at the bed for a second, trying to decide whether I should try to sleep or not. Against my better judgement, I lay down and cover my head with the blanket, still terrified of Hannibal or Buffalo Bill getting me. I close my eyes and slowly drift off into a sleep.
It doesn't feel long before I make contact with some and wake up. My mind immediately goes to the movie and I scream, smacking away the murderer. "Geez, Pine Tree..." My eyes widen. "I didn't think I was that scary."
I slowly turn my head and see Bill in the middle of beginning to lay down next to me. His hand rests on my shoulder, but slowly creeps away from me right after I look at him. There's somewhat a look of sadness in his eyes. I turn onto my back and stare at the ceiling. He stares at me and eventually moves closer, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close.
Like every time he does that, I feel safer. Safer from cannibals, murderers, psychopaths, everything. Safe from life itself. Slowly, trying to be as conspicuous as possible, I get closer to him, suddenly feeling as if everywhere else would be too cold and dangerous. I keep my eyes open, though. I'm tired, but my mind is racing with thoughts of Bill, the movie, school, everything. I want to sleep, but my head won't let me.
"Why don't you sleep?" I hear.
"I can't."
It all goes quiet. I suddenly feel him start to pet through my hair. The weight of the world falls off of my shoulders and my eyes droop. I look down at his arms and see something that makes my eyes widen. "Bill... you're bleeding," I say with a slight crack in my voice. An award silence fills the room as the blood on the sleeves of his long sleeved shirt pools with more blood. I take his arm before he can do anything else and pull up his sleeve. "What di-" My eyes widen when I see. Multiple lines of open wounds going vertically down his forearms to his wrists. Bead of blood drip slowly, trying to make their way to the bed sheets. He pulls away his arm and starts to move away. I quickly turn and grab his hand. He looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Bill...?"
"Pine Tree, just... stay out of it... please," He to get further away, but I, without a thought, pull him into a hug. I hate him, but... I don't... I can't stand the thought of him, but he's always on my mind. This... this hurts. Knowing he did this and that he's probably done worse hurts worse than Hell ever could.
He's pale and looks down, weak, and on the verge of death. "Bill, they're bleeding a lot!" I pull away from him and rip off a bit of my shirt. I take the long strip and start wrapping it around his wounds tight enough to where it'll stop bleeding. He pulls away and starts taking it off.
"Stop trying to help..." He starts to get off the bed, and I go after him. "Dipper Pines... I want to, and am going to, die," He walks backwards, trying to get away. He bumps into a wall and just looks at me. "Everything is a mistake. I failed at satisfying the one person that made me happy because I didn't know how to handle it... I hurt him, thinking the only way he'd ever smile at me was if I forced him to. I scared him, took away his friends, forced him into stuff he didn't want to do, tortured him by using his childhood memories and trust against him," In that moment, I realize he's talking about me. "I hurt him, and he hates me, but I love him... Dipper Pines, I love you, and I can't make up for hurting you unless I'm dead..." His eyes become half lidded as he slowly sinks to the ground. I kneel down in front of him. "I'm sorry... for everything..."
I take his arm again, him having no strength to do anything to stop me, and wrap the cuts again. I check his other arm and see that it has the same sort of marks. I rip off more of my shirt and wrap that arm too. "So you were just going to bleed out while holding me? Have me wake up to a dead body?" He looks away from me, avoiding my eyes. I sigh quietly and reach my hand out to him, trying to grab his. "Bill, stand up," he looks at me with his half lidded eyes, emotionless. "Stand up."
He weakly reaches up and grabs my hand. I pull him up with ease and gently take him back to bed. I somewhat force him to lay down and I lay beside him, wrapping my arms around him.
Come on Dipper... you hate him... right? You don't have to hold him there... he'll be fine...
The problem with that is that he won't. He'll try to get up, or take off the bandages, or hurt himself even more. I hug him tighter at the thought. He hurt himself... because he was sorry... what? Does he think he needs punishment for hurting someone else? Does he think he can never redeem himself again for what he did and can't repay it with anything bit his life? Why? I don't really understand it...
"You hate me though..." I hear. I look at Bill as he speaks. "Why are you holding me? Why are you trying to save me? You hate me... you'd be better off without me... just let m-"
"Bill, get it through your thick skull," His eyes widen as he looks at me. "I don't hate you. It's gonna be hard to fix anything, but you dying won't do anything. I think seeing a dead body would be the worst thing you've done to me, if anything. If you... love me... like you say you do, then you wouldn't just leave me at this house alone. I'm still terrified of the other Bill. You'd leave me, scared and with a dead body like that?" He just stares at me in shock. "You didn't consider that, did you? Bill... I don't hate you... you've been hurting me for years... and I don't even know why I don't hate you, but I can't seem to, no matter what you do to me..." He stares at me. I stare right back. "Sleep, please... don't hurt yourself..."
He leans towards me and kisses me. I slowly kiss back for him and he pulls away, staring at me again. His eyes slowly close and I snuggle closer to him.
I won't sleep. I can't afford to lose him... I have no other friends... no one loves me but him and my sister... I'll stay awake and keep him here, all night.
All night... "Goodnight, Bill."
"Goodnight, Pine Tree... I love you..."