A test is what this felt like, and Noah always sucked at tests. She'd let him kiss her, and then she dropped this on him. His mind raced to try to figure this out. He searched for the perfect answer, but there were no two ways around it. Rita was exactly as Roni had once put it—his drive-by one-night stand. But in Rita's case, it'd been far more than one time.
He stood his ground, trying to stay cool as Roni's eyes sought something in his. "She's just someone I hang with—well, hung with," he amended quickly, "not anymore, in the past." He shrugged, trying to make as little of it as possible. "We were both single, and neither of us was looking for anything deep."
"Why not anymore?"
The fact that she'd even ask that pissed him off a little. "Because it doesn't feel right anymore."
"But it did the day after Thanksgiving?"
God, he could kill Hector. "That wasn't planned, Roni. Actually nothing with her ever was. For the last few years, me and her—"
"Years?"
Shit! She nudged away from him. but he refused to let her out of his hold. "Yeah, but she only comes down a few times a year."
She lifted her purse over her shoulder in a move to put some distance between them. "So you just sleep with her, no strings attached? That's the extent of your relationship?"
"It used to be, not anymore. And yes, that was the extent of it."
Roni's eyes bounced around, obviously not wanting to make contact with his any longer. She shivered now that his body wasn't keeping her warm. "But she's Gio's cousin; you never talk to her or stay in touch when she's gone?"
"Let's get you inside, Roni," he said, reaching for her hand. "It's freezing out here."
They started toward the back door of her house. "You know what? Never mind," she said as they reached her back door, "it's none of my business anyway."
"Yes, it is," Noah said, feeling a little panicked about the sudden shift in mood.
"No, it's not. What you do in your personal life—"
"You are my personal life now." Noah stepped in front of her. "I told you I'm in love with you, and I meant it. I'll go along with whatever you say—follow your rules. I'll go as slow as you need me to, and if you wanna know about my personal life, I'll tell you whatever you wanna know." He wanted to make this perfectly clear because he sure as hell wanted to know about hers. He couldn't demand anything yet, but he'd set the example right now. "Rita was convenient, okay? That's all she's ever been. We never made any plans. She never even calls to tell me she's in town. Like the day after Thanksgiving, I didn't know she was going to be there."
"Why wouldn't you know? She's here every holiday, right?"
"But she usually leaves right away, so I was caught off guard, and what happened that day ..." He was saying too much, and he knew it, but her accusatory tone made him panic. "That's not why I went to Gio's if that's what you're implying, but I will say, in all fairness, back then I had no reason to even hope for anything between you and me. You made it seem so impossible. Things are different now. Everything changed after New Year's. Shit, my feelings had changed weeks before that. That's why I spent the entire holidays with you. But even the day after Thanksgiving, Roni, after I saw her there, I wasn't shooting for anything to happen, I swear. But it just did."
She shook her head and walked around the kitchen island, setting her bag and keys down on the counter. "Boggles the mind," she muttered.
"What does?" he asked, following her like a puppy dog.
"How something like that just happens. What did she do, just suddenly hop on your lap?"
Noah nearly choked at how closely her explanation came to the truth. She turned to face him when he didn't respond then rolled her eyes in disgust. "Ugh!"
"The point is, even she gets it now. That was the last time for me and her. That's one of the best things about her. I've never had to worry about her being clingy or wanting more."
There was a sharp change in the way she stared at him, and he knew that last statement might cost him. "Is that what you worry about, Noah? Clingy girls wanting more?"
"Only the ones I don't have feelings for." He took a step closer to her. "I'm not looking to hurt anyone, and I didn't have to worry about that with her. That's all I meant."
To his relief, her expression softened a bit. "And you only ever got together with her on the holidays?"
A smile nearly escaped, but he kept it stifled and nodded instead. This was exactly what he wanted. For her to ask questions—set the playing field.
Her expression was now curious, and she crossed her arms in front of her. "So you mean to tell me, that in all the years you two have been doing this, outside of the times she showed up for your holiday trysts, you two never stayed in touch any other way? No phones calls, emailing, ever?"
"Nope." The haughty tone was still there especially when referring to the holiday trysts, but he nodded again, feeling slightly better knowing this conversation could've gone a lot worse. "None at all."
Her curious stare was now tinged with suspicion, but the slight smugness of her curved lips gave him hope there would be a lift to the tension that so quickly engulfed the room and had begun to suffocate him. "Really? So since Thanksgiving, aside from the times you saw her at your work Christmas dinner and Christmas Eve, you haven't heard from her at all?"
He wished to hell she hadn't been watching him so closely because she obviously picked up on the fact that he was suddenly scrambling for the perfect response. The curve of her lips was gone, and there was a trace of fear in her eyes for just an instant before she looked away. "Just once and again it wasn't planned."
Roni's face literally jerked back in his direction. Her expression was hard now. "What wasn't planned?"
"Seeing her."
"When?" As strange as it felt to hear Roni's venomous demand, he welcomed it. He wanted her to demand things—know that she had every right to know and leave the door wide open for him to do the same to her.
"New Year's Day." The second he said it, he realized what she was thinking. He'd been so fucking caught up in and loving the fact that she was behaving like a jealous girlfriend—something that seemed so farfetched until now, he didn't even think about how bad this sounded, but her eyes said it all. She was more than disgusted; she was hurt. "Gio's uncle is her dad," he said, rushing to her, but she held her arms out, visibly upset now.
"You saw her the day after . . ."
"She was there at his house the day I went to help Gio out. I had no idea she would be, but nothing happened, Roni, I swear to you." Roni backed away, refusing to make eye contact with him, something he'd noticed now she only did when she wasn't in complete control of her emotions. "She was in the house the whole time cooking. We all went in and had lunch after working on the yard for hours, and then I left."
She shook her head, and Noah wasn't sure what to make of it. Was she saying she didn't believe him? Then she spoke as she began to walk out of the kitchen.
"You don't owe me any explanations."
Like hell he didn't. He rushed to her, taking her by the arm and backed her into the counter before she could protest. "Yes, I do," he said, cradling her face in his hands as he stared into those solemn eyes of hers. "I do," he whispered again before kissing her softly. "She was there, but nothing happened, and that's the last I've seen or heard of her, okay? I'll even tell you the next time I hear or see her again."
She started to shake her head in protest. "You don't have to."
"Stop saying that. I want to." Rita was the only fucking thing at this point that could cast any doubt in Roni's head about them. He felt it. She'd finally started giving in to everything else, and he'd be damned if he was going to let someone as insignificant as Rita ruin it all. "I want to and I'm going to."
He finally saw a trace of that beautiful smile he loved so much. "Okay," she whispered then took a deep breath. "I need a shower."
What he saw in her face at that moment was the very thing he was feeling. Relief. This conversation—Rita—had been a looming subject that he knew would eventually have to be discussed, and as uncomfortable as it had been, he was glad it was over.
Proof of what he had suspected way back on the day he'd taken that ride with Rita when it felt wrong had been confirmed tonight. He and Roni had made a connection Thanksgiving. He wasn't the only one who felt it, because even though she hadn't said it, the fact was it hurt her. It all made sense now. Gio and Abel hadn't imagined it when they said she appeared upset the night Hector brought it up.
Noah hugged her, remembering that night again and the fact that she'd cried. They weren't even officially together yet, and he'd already caused her pain. He hugged her even tighter, hoping she could feel how sorry he felt. As much as he wanted to apologize, he hated to even go there anymore.
She pulled away gently and smiled. "I'll meet you in the hallway after I'm showered and ready to go to bed?"
That excitement he felt over that one sentence made him feel like a little kid in a toy store, and he didn't even care that he was so blatant it made her laugh. "I wouldn't be able to sleep if you didn't."
His attempt to sneak in one more kiss failed when she snuck under his arm and she rushed away with a giggle. He watched as she walked away, taking in those high-heeled boots that had driven him crazy New Year's Eve. For an instant, he had a vision of seeing her in them—and nothing else. Patience was a virtue, but damn if it wasn't also a torment to even wait for their hallway meeting in a few long minutes.
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