Rachel did her best to avoid Jack over the next few weeks, but then Nurse Bowers asked her to stop by her office before going on duty. Unable to recall anything that would earn her a "dressing down", as her father would say, she was anxious.
When she arrived at Bowers's office she found Jack and Dr. Lancaster already there. Jack looked good, he was wearing jeans and loose cotton t-shirt that clung his wide shoulders and broad chest, and he looked massive to Rachel as she sat in a vacant chair between him and Lancaster.
"Rachel, it's time that you learn what our field trips are all about. Normally, we send all women and all men teams consisting of one doctor, one nurse, and one administrative person, but this time is different." Bowers paused to look at her to make sure she was keeping up with all that she was saying. "We'll have both Dr. Cooper and Dr. Lancaster, an extra nurse and an administrative person with you as well as a photographer. We're about to start a major capital campaign and we need some photos for the press."
Bowers looked at Jack and smiled.
"Jack informs me that you speak fluent French, and Dr. Lancaster will need someone to translate for her." Bowers looked at Lancaster all but gloating at her for the fault. "I have very few people who are bilingual on staff, and now that I know you're one of those who is I think that you will make the perfect addition to the team."
Rachel had the sneaking suspicion that she was hoping Rachel would prove distracting enough to keep Jack's attention from Lancaster. Bowers must have bought the marriage bit hook, line, and sinker.
Rachel looked at her silently, not daring to say anything. Watching Jack and Dr. Lancaster together would be hell on earth, but if she declined to go then she would be neglecting her duties. She looked at Dr. Lancaster who looked less than pleased by the situation. Then Rachel turned to look at Jack who looked bored on the surface but his eyes, when they met hers, seemed amused by her hesitation. When her gaze returned to Bowers her lips were mashed together in a straight line of consternation. No doubt she had expected Rachel to jump at the chance, and she saw her hesitation as a weakness in her skill as a nurse.
"That's fine with me," Rachel finally said, realizing she had little choice in the matter.
"Are you sure Nurse Edwards, it took you a while to answer?" Jack said, knowing full well he was pointing out the obvious. Talk about stirring the pot.
"Yes, I'm sure Dr. Cooper," she replied, meeting his dark blue eyes head on, and trying not to drown. He was so handsome.
"Good," he stood up giving the group his breathtaking grin. "Now that it's settled, I have work to do."
"Nancy, would you also excuse us?" Bowers requested as Jack left the office. Dr. Lancaster nodded, rushing to catch up to Jack.
"Normally I would have preferred to go on this trip myself, but I cannot leave the nurses here without a guiding hand, especially since we have a doctor coming from the Baptist hospital to handle any emergencies that may arise. I hope I do not have to tell you how I expect a professional nurse to act on such a trip?"
"No, Nurse Bowers." Rachel suddenly realized that it was not the fact that she was married that made Bowers feel that Rachel offered protection against Lancaster, it was her sense of power over Rachel. She believed that she could fire her anytime she wanted.
The next half hour was taken up with a review of the trip. They would be crossing the border and going into Togo. There would be several stops at small villages, and they would help any people who were in need of medical care.
Rachel was given the night off but told not to get used to it because after the trip she was back on night duty. Realizing she had the rest of the day off, she didn't know what to do with her free time so she caught up with Addie who quickly dragged her over to the recreation building where it was movie night. They were watching an Adam Sandler movie which didn't appeal to her, so as soon as she could she made her getaway, deciding that a walk would be better.
She started down a track that she hadn't been down before, and aware that it would be dark in about an hour meant that she didn't want to go too far. The track came to a dead end at a small building that looked like a trailer at a construction site. She was just about to turn around when the door opened and light spilled onto the path in front of her.
"Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly."
Rachel recognized Jack's voice. "No thank you said the fly, people will talk." Rachel turned to leave.
Jack stepped out of the trailer and caught her arm, turning her to him, and landing a forceful kiss on her lips. He had a glass, but he had a bottle in one hand so she was able to easily squirm her way out of his grasp.
Rachel looked over her shoulder to make sure that no one saw. "Jack!" she hissed.
He was wearing a well-worn pair of blue jeans and no shirt. She tore her gaze away from his naked chest.
"You didn't used to worry about what others thought." He poured another finger into his glass.
"And you didn't used to drink."
"Generally I don't, but I am off duty tonight and I figured, why not?" Jack grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into the trailer slamming the door behind him. He placed the glass and bottle on a table then reached into her shirt and pulled out the rings, looking at them hard as if he expected them to answer all of his questions.
"Have you been faithful to me Rachel?" His voice sounded rough as if the question was dragged from very deep within him. As soon as the question left his lips he dropped the rings as if he had been scalded. "That's none of my business."
"Especially since you left me," Rachel whispered.
The look in his eyes was regret as he motioned for her to sit at the small little table in the corner of the trailer. "You look sad," he said gruffly as he looked into his glass.
"You're drunk."
"No, I'm a long way from drunk." But he set the glass and bottle behind him on the small counter.
"Why am I going with you tomorrow? There must be someone else here who speaks French just as well as I do?"
"I don't want you here with Ferris."
"Why not, you didn't seem to mind leaving me to God knows what five years ago." It sounded bitter and was out of her mouth before she could stop it. She was so mortified that she missed Jack's response as all color drained from his face. "Trust me, I can handle Ferris." Rachel continued in an attempt to cover her slip of the tongue.
She leaned forward, still unable to stop her wayward tongue, "Why did you leave me five years ago? Was it because you were tired of me and all of the trouble I brought, was it being with only one woman for too long, or was it because you just didn't care? I thought we had at least a mutual affection for one another, or was it all for my father? Was it just one giant charitable act for you to marry poor little Ray?" Realizing that she had said too much, she jumped up out of her chair.
"God, no, Ray, you have no idea-," Just then there was a knock at his door and a look of confusion crossed his face. He hadn't been expecting whoever it was.
Jack rubbed his face in frustration as he debated whether or not to open it. A second knock decided him as he rose and moved to the door.
The person on the other side was silent for a moment as if his disarrayed appearance had taken them by surprise. Jack's hair was mussed and he looked like he had just woken up. What must they be thinking?
That he was the most beautiful sight.
"Hello Jack."
"Jolene."
So it was Bowers. Rachel could hear her swallowing from her seat at the table.
"I just wanted to let you know that I had a talk with Nurse Edwards, and I don't think that she will give you any problems."
"Thank you for your thoughtfulness Jolene. I'm sure she'll be fine on the trip. As I said, we're old friends, and we'll have no problems meshing." She could hear the amusement in Jack's voice
"I thought maybe I could join you for a drink?" Rachel could hear a little purr in the woman's voice.
"No, not tonight, maybe another time. I need to rest."
Rachel swallowed against the pain in her chest at Bowers comment. So this was not an uncommon occurrence. Jolene was probably one of the women who had helped to keep his bed warm over the past five years.
And he had the gall to ask her if she had been faithful to him, but her anger quickly turned to sadness. Of course he hadn't been celibate. He was a handsome man and their marriage hadn't been a real one.
Jack turned towards her as he closed the door, watching her. She recognized the look in his eyes, it was a look that meant he saw too much. However, for all that he was able to see he was unable to read the truth.
"I have to get back. The movie everyone is watching will probably be over by now and they'll be wondering where I am." She pushed past him.
"Ray, about what you said earlier. I-," he reached out as if to stop her but thought better of it.
"It doesn't matter, what has been done cannot be undone." She went to open the door of the trailer, but this time Jack did grab her arm stopping her
"Ray, listen to me-," Rachel could hear the anger in his voice.
She shook her head unwilling to hear his angry defense, "Next time you get lonely and have a few too many leave me alone and call Jolene. She seems more than experienced and willing to keep you company."
"Are you jealous?" he asked astonished.
Rachel shrugged and stepped out the door, uncaring if anyone saw her. Maybe she was finding her old self.
*******
"So where did you get to last night during the movie?" Addie asked at breakfast the next morning, shooting her a sly glance.
Rachel just shrugged not in the best of moods.
"Rumor is you were seen walking back from the direction of Jack's place."
Rachel stopped, dishing up the fruit and looked at Addie. "I went for a walk. I didn't pay attention to the direction I took."
"Hmmm." Addie nodded as she stuck a grape in her mouth. After a quick chew she swallowed. "Well just be prepared for the rumors, they are flying around this place like crazy."
Rachel just shrugged again as she followed Addie to a seat. Now that she knew about the rumors, she could feel every eye in the place on her. Well that was not quite true, there were a few who were looking back and forth from her to Jack to see if there was any covert communication going on between them so she didn't dare turn to look at him.
"You know you're in a lose-lose situation here. If you look at him you're guilty and if you don't you're still guilty. So you might as well look and enjoy the view. He seems particularly pleased this morning."
Rachel slowly surveyed the room watching all of the eyes she met look away. Her gaze eventually landed on Jack as he was laughing at something that Nurse Bowers had said. She heard his deep laugh, it reached her across the room and filled her heart with joy. She had always loved his laugh, and it had been so long since she had heard it. He was good at giving polite laughs, but his real laugh was different.
She looked at Nurse Bowers and she looked positively radiant as she continued talking.
Rachel knew that feeling, she remembered the first time she had made him laugh like that. They had been attending a party for one of her father's oldest friends, and he had picked her up at the request of her father. It had been the first time they had ever really been alone.
She had gotten to the end of the stairs trying to make a dramatic entrance and impress him in her new slinky cocktail dress, but when she looked down she realized that she still had her bunny slippers on her feet. She had let loose with a string of curse words that would have made a sailor blush looking up at Jack with horror on her face.
He had busted out laughing, and he had kept on laughing until tears were streaming down his face.
She had never thought he was laughing at her just with her as the old saying went. Eventually, she joined in and that was the beginning of their friendship. Despite his lack of love for her they had always had a strong friendship, especially when her father was at his worst.
"You're not helping by staring at Nurse Bowers," Addie whispered.
"Was I?" Rachel said, shaking off the memory.
"What are you thinking so hard about?" She eyed Rachel as she waited for her response.
Rachel looked back to Jack's place only to realize that he was no longer there.
"Yes, what are you thinking so hard about Nurse Edwards?" Rachel jumped at the sound of his voice right next to her. Jack sat down and when his leg brushed hers she quickly moved away. Jack cocked an eyebrow in response but didn't say anything.
"Bunny slippers," Rachel said, and she couldn't help but look at Jack to see if he go the reference. He must have because he chuckled.
"Bunny slippers!" Addie shook her head, "you're a strange one." Addie turned to Jack, "You seem to be in an awfully good mood this morning."
Jack shot her one of his heart stopping grins. "Its beautiful day, and I am currently in the company of two beautiful women. That's enough to put any man in a good mood."
Addie blushed as she shook her head, "It is mostly likely due to late night visits from friends."
"Addie!" Rachel could not believe what she had just said.
"Perhaps." Jack winked at her.
Rachel wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She looked around to see that the cafeteria had emptied out some, but there were enough people to witness his sitting next to her.
Addie rose, taking both of their trays as if she sensed they needed a few moments.
"I like that girl," Jack said watching her walk away.
"I do too Jack, but why are you here? Why aren't you up there with Nurse Bowers?" Rachel snuck a peak at Bowers who was glowering at them. "You really do want to make my life hell don't you?"
Jack looked sad. "Where did you go Ray, what are you so frightened of? There was a time you would have laughed and enjoyed our current situation."
Rachel looked at him anger suddenly choking her. He wanted her to just forget everything and pretend it was all as it used to be. Forget he had walked out on her, left her to deal with her grief on her own. He had only added to that grief, how could he not see that?
"There was a time when I thought you had my six no matter what, but that didn't turn out to be true, did it?" Rachel used the military term for having one's back. "You want to know one thing I have learned in the last five years? When you are alone, really alone, you tend to want to keep a low profile and stay out of trouble because fighting life's battles all on one's own is a hard thing to do."
He looked as if she had slapped him. His face lost all color. "Ray-"
Rachel stood. "Are we still leaving at the same time?"
He grabbed her arm trying to stop her.
"Ray we need-"
"No we don't. As I said last night, the past is past, let's let it go please."
His eyes searched her face which she prayed was devoid of any emotion, and after a tense silence he let go of her arm. "Yes, we'll leave in a half hour."
By the time Rachel had gotten outside Addie had caught up to her. "What on earth did you say to poor Jack? It looked as if you had hit him."
"Nothing he won't eventually get over." Addie stayed on her heels as she moved back to their room.
"Rachel, I don't know what is going on with you two, but it is very obvious to everyone here that something is... I am not judging, but if you are married you should be a little more careful."
"Why, otherwise I'll get a bad reputation?" Rachel shook her head throwing a few things in her overnight bag. "Well then this trip ought to add more fuel to the fire."
"Rachel stop!" Addie grabbed her hands stopping her from throwing anything else into her bag. "You're very upset, talk to me."
Rachel stopped sitting down on the side of her bed taking deep breaths. Pushing back the panic she could feel rising in her chest. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw the pallor of her face, she had broken into a cold sweat and her breathing was labored.
"I'll just go and get-" Addie must have noticed her distress.
"No! I'll be fine in a minute."
She felt the loneliness cloying at her as it had the first few months after her father had died, after Jack had left her. She was right back there. She had thrown out words to hurt Jack, but she had hurt herself more by allowing herself to remember the emptiness.
"I can't do this Addie, I have to leave. I didn't know he would be here or I would have never come."
"Are you talking about Jack? Is he an old boyfriend?" Addie sat next to her on the bed rubbing her back.
"Breath, its O.K. I'm here." Those simple words broke Rachel and she started sobbing. That was all she had wanted to hear for the last five years.
"I have no friends, no family." Rachel sobbed harder. "I'm all alone."
"No, you're not. I'm here, and what about your husband?"
Rachel sniffed as her sobs subsided. "No," was all she said.
"Well, when you want to talk about it we will, but until then you have a ride to catch." Addie handed her a few tissues to wipe her face. "No offence meant, but you've looked better."
That made Rachel laugh as she rose to look at herself in the mirror, groaning at what she saw.
"So last night ...you and Jack...?"
"Jack and I talked about old times. That was all. Even Bowers stopped by at one point, not that she knew I was there."
Addie watched her closely, "I don't know if I should be jealous or feel sorry for you." Addie looked at her for a moment taking in her pallor. "I bet all that I own that a simple kiss from that man is worth ten from any other, but then I don't suppose you know anything about that."
Rachel stayed silent, unable to meet Addie's eyes in the mirror.
Addie looked at her watch and jumped up. "Yikes, I gotta scoot, have fun on your trip and watch your back."
"Don't worry, I have a feeling I'll have more people watching me than I want or need."
"You'll have to keep an eye on that Jack. I have a feeling he is a wily devil."
"A devil is right at least." Rachel agreed as she followed Addie out of the room, walking out into the bright sunlight.
There was a van waiting in the center of the compound which was surrounded by Paul, Dr. Lancaster, and a girl from admin named Diana, so she moved towards it throwing her stuff in the back. When she turned she walked right into Jack's broad chest as he threw his bag in behind her.
She tried to step around him but he stopped her taking her chin in his hand and forcing her to look up at him. "You've been crying?"
"Addie told a really funny joke and I couldn't stop laughing, I laughed so hard I cried."
"This is not over Ray. We'll have to talk about it sometime."
Rachel jerked her head out of his grip and walked around to the side of the van taking the back seat. Dr. Lancaster got into the front passenger side leaving Diana and Paul crowded in the back with Rachel.
"Ready?" Dr. Lancaster said, completely unaware of the tension in the air.
Jack jumped into the seat next to her starting up the engine as he met Rachel's eyes in the mirror.
Rachel turned her attention to the passing scenery.
Soon she was back in the past on another car ride.