I'm sorry I didn't hear from you over the holidays. I hope they were good. I really hope you're better. I'm here for you. You know that. Have a happy New Year.
Veronica read the text from Derek again. She knew what he was thinking. That she was wallowing in self-pity through the holidays alone and pathetic. He'd texted her so much in the past few weeks that if she didn't know any better, she'd think his guilty conscience was getting to him.
She hadn't responded even once. Maybe she should, just to let him off the hook, let him know that while he thought her buried in grief and eating herself to death, she'd had not only the best Thanksgiving but the best Christmas that she could remember in years—if ever.
After nearly giving into her desires on Christmas day and possibly ruining everything, she'd managed to turn it around, and they'd had the most perfect day, watching movies. They talked and laughed the whole day. Other than the times she and her mother had done the same thing, this was the best Christmas day ever. She'd worn her medal the entire day. Even when Noah had teased her and told her she didn't have to, she refused to take it off.
She stared at her phone for another moment then decided against replying, tossing it on her bed. The day awaited her. She'd already warned Noah that she might not make their workout tonight. The mall after Christmas would be worse than it was the weeks before it. Every store was having clearance sales, and Veronica needed an entirely new wardrobe for work.
It was going to be another wet one out, but this couldn't wait. If she was going to make a clean start, then she needed the clothes to go with it. She grabbed her commuter mug and headed out her back door.
Noah had replaced her windshield wipers the day before when she told him about her day of shopping. He knew the rest of the week was supposed to be miserable. She smiled remembering his words "I don't wanna have to worry."
He was such a sweetheart. She sighed. If only he were a few years older, damn it. She hopped in her car, slipping the keys into the ignition. The car made a hacking noise followed by a wheezing sound but wouldn't turn on. Her shoulders dropped. "Nooo!"
She tried again, and again the noises were there but no power. Her head dropped against the steering wheel and she gave it a minute. Silently praying, she tried it again. Nothing.
"Damn it!" She slapped the steering wheel, and then it hit her: this was the worst time her car could break down. Her first day of work was less than a week away.
Sitting up straight, she thought fast. What to do? She leaned over quickly and grabbed her purse then pulled the keys out of the ignition. Within minutes, she was on the phone with the auto club.
It would be at least a half hour before the tow truck would even be there to pick it up. Her day of shopping was shot. She tried Nellie. Maybe by some miracle she was free for the day. She hadn't spoken to her since before she left on her cruise a few days before Christmas.
To her surprise, she answered. "Hey, stranger."
With nowhere to go, Veronica plopped herself on the sofa. "How are you? How was the cruise?
"It was wonderful. How was your Christmas?"
Veronica almost said it was wonderful also but she knew better. "Quiet. We watched a movie marathon most of the day."
"Oh, good. I was worried maybe you'd spent the day alone. Noah was with you?"
Veronica rolled her eyes, trying hard not to feel resentful. Nellie had been home for days from her cruise, and she hadn't bothered to call. Veronica had to remind herself of all the selfless effort Nellie had made to get her back to feeling human again. "Yes, he was here. It was nice."
"What are you up to now?"
"Sitting here waiting for the auto club. My stupid car won't start, and I start work next week. I need to make sure it's running by then."
"Well, that stinks. But at least you have a few days to get it going, right?"
Veronica frowned. She thought about it for a moment before mentioning it. She hoped with all her might Nellie would offer to pick her up. "Worst thing is I was supposed to go shopping today for work clothes. I was all set to go and the car wouldn't start." She waited, her fingers crossed.
"Oh, man. Maybe you'll get it back before then," she paused and Veronica heard her sigh. "Honey, I'd offer to take you, but since we were gone for the holidays we're making our rounds this week. Rick's packing the car now. We're headed up north today to his sister's for a few days. Otherwise, you know I'd be there for you."
For some stupid reason that brought hot tears to Veronica's eyes. Besides Nellie, all she had was Noah, and something deep inside her knew it was just a matter of time before he was gone too.
"I know you would," she said, willing her voice not to break.
"I won't be back until after the New Year, hon, but we'll make a date and go shopping then, okay?"
Veronica nodded and wished her a safe trip. She sat there, feeling as pitiful as ever. She stood up, reminding herself that soon she'd be back at work and in touch with everyone she'd lost track of in the last two years. She'd had more friends. They just stopped calling when she never returned their calls.
Her phone was a slider, and she slid it up and down, again and again, staring at it as she stood at the kitchen counter. She slid it open again and scrolled down to her last text from Derek.
Happy New Year to you too.
Her thumb swirled over the send button a few times before she hit it. Almost in a huff, she set the phone down on the counter, walked over to the stove, and pulled out a saucepan from the cabinet. This was ridiculous, it was just a simple text. She pulled the Abuelita hot chocolate from the pantry. She was working on breaking the pieces of chocolate apart when she heard the ping from her phone. Her fingers continued to break the pieces apart, but her mind was on her phone, so she set the chocolate down and walked over to the counter and picked it up.
Hey it's good to finally hear from you. How are you?
Weird things were going on in her stomach, but it wasn't for good a reason. She had a bad feeling about this from the moment she'd considered responding. Things of this nature were the very reason why she feared Noah would not be in her life for much longer. Just the thought of mentioning to him that she'd been in touch with Derek again put a huge knot in her stomach, but the reality was she owed him no explanation. In fact, if he was truly her friend, she should be able to talk to him about this, right? So why was she seriously considering not responding to Derek?
With a deep breath, she shook her head. Nonsense. She was a single woman.
I'm good. Thanks for asking. I've just been busy. I go back to work next week.
Her thumb tapped against the screen of her phone as she waited for a response. The phone suddenly rang, and she nearly dropped it. It was an eight hundred number, and she answered, knowing it would be the auto club. The service rep informed her that the tow truck was out front. Veronica hurried out the front door and saw the truck backing up into her driveway. She pointed to let the driver know the car was in the back.
She set her phone in her pocket as she dealt with explaining to the driver where he should take the car and signed papers releasing it. Finally, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw she had two texts from Derek. The first:
That's great I'm happy to hear it. And I'm glad you're staying busy.
The second:
So what have you been up to?
She took a picture of her car being hauled onto the flatbed of the tow truck and laughed softly as she sent it to him with no caption. Whenever things that couldn't be helped happened, her mom always used to say, "You just gotta laugh. What else are you gonna do? Kick and scream?"
His response was immediate.
What happened? Are you okay?
She explained to him about her car and her shopping day being shot. They went back and forth for a while as the tow truck driver finished securing her car. Once inside the house, she was just thinking about the silliness of texting. All this time she could've been talking to him, but there was something about hiding behind the safety of a text that felt so much easier. She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to him. It'd been almost a year. And then her phone rang. It was Derek.
Shit. There was no way out of it. She'd just sent a text, so he knew she was near her phone. The knot in her stomach got tighter and she answered. "Hey."
"Veronica, it's good to hear your voice." His voice was exactly as she remembered. It brought back painful memories, but in a weird way, she was glad to hear him again.
"It's good to hear you too."
"So you're stranded for the day?"
"Yeah, looks like it."
"I was gonna say, since your plans are shot, how do you feel about getting together for some coffee?"
No way in hell was she inviting him over for coffee. "I, uh ... I dunno."
"We don't have to be out the whole day, just an hour or so. We can grab a cup of coffee and check out the latest exhibition at that photo gallery you like downtown. When's the last time you did that?"
Veronica smiled, running her finger over the grout between the tiles on her counter. "It's been forever."
"That's what I figured. Let's go, Roni, for old time's sake. I can pick you up in ten minutes and have you back before noon."
Hearing him call her that made her stomach lurch. She knew it was irrational to think that she shouldn't go because Noah might ... Hell, who was she kidding? He'd definitely be weird about it. She remembered how the mere mention of her working on her social life had struck a nerve with him. Maybe this is just what she needed to do: go have coffee with a friend and break the ice. She was bound to get a life eventually, and he was just going to have to get used to it, right?
"Just an hour?"
"I'll be there in ten." She could almost hear the smile in his voice.
The moment she hung up, she felt the urge to call him back and cancel. What was she thinking? She paced back and forth in the kitchen for a few minutes, chewing her thumbnail. Twice she picked up the phone to call him back then put it down again. God she needed Nellie.
Derek was there in less than ten minutes. She practically ran out the door, not wanting to give him a chance to get out and expect to be invited in. She leaned in the window of his car and smiled before opening the door.
"Wow, you look good," he said. "You lost a lot of weight. What did you do?"
She shrugged. "I've been working out. I have Nellie to thank. She's the one that dragged me to the gym."
Derek looked the same: clean-shaven but with an edge. Being a dean at one of the toughest high schools in the Los Angeles area had done that to him. He'd told her some of the stories. He'd had to disarm students with knives and even a gun once. The kids had to think of him and see him as a bad ass with no compassion. If he didn't put up that act, he was toast. Veronica had to admit that the tough-guy act had turned her on a little. He had it down to a science. The obstinate death stare was the best. It reminded her of her own dean back in high school. He silenced an entire hallway as he walked through it. Now she wondered if he'd been just as soft as Derek but putting up an act too.
They made small talk until they reached the coffee place by the gallery. It was a miracle he didn't have to circle the block twenty times before finding a parking space, but then it was a holiday week and this was near the court's district. Most of the offices in this area were still closed down for the holidays.
They bought their coffee and walked half a block down to the gallery. "You really look good, Roni. I'm really glad to see it. I was worried about you."
Veronica smiled, for some reason unnerved at his use of her nickname. He only ever called her that before when he was being cute. Here it was the first time she'd seen him in almost a year, and he felt he could call her that? Deep inside, she knew the real reason it bothered her, but she shook it off.
"So are you still seeing the woman you met?" Not that she cared, but she was curious. She really didn't think he would've been texting her so much if he was.
His expression fell, and he cleared his throat as they entered the gallery. "No, I haven't. Things didn't work out."
"Oh," she said, glad she walked in ahead him so he wouldn't see the smirk. "I'm sorry to hear that." Of course, she wasn't, but she really didn't care either way. She just had to admit it was a bit satisfying. "Has it been long?" She turned when he didn't respond.
"Veronica, I'm sorry. I made a mistake—a huge mistake, probably the biggest mistake of my life." They stepped aside out of the walkway so that people could pass through. "I didn't know how else to deal with it. It seemed everything I did or said was the wrong thing. It got to the point where I was afraid to talk to you. At the time, it felt like the best thing to do was step back and out of the picture."
Veronica stared at him for a moment, trying to make sense of how anyone could think that the best thing to do when someone you cared about was going through the hardest time in their life was to walk away—step out of the picture? She could think of a million things to tell him right now: how much she had hated him then, how she would've never walked away had the tables been turned, but she didn't. That ship had sailed. Instead, she smiled. "It's okay. I made it."
His expression remained strained. "I never doubted you would. Listen." He jammed his hands into his pockets and glanced around nervously. "I know this probably doesn't matter anymore, but I want you to know that Angela, the woman I started seeing during that time... It didn't even last a month. I just couldn't stop thinking about you." He glanced at her but couldn't make eye contact for very long. Veronica had never seen him so nervous. "I can't tell you how many times I wanted to stop by and say hello, see how you were doing. And then I'd lose my nerve. I was so relieved when you texted me back today. I thought for sure you hated me."
"I don't hate you, Derek." Not that she didn't think she did for a long time. But she knew now that in order for her to hate him, she would've had to love him first. She wasn't sure why or how, but she was certain now that she never had. "And you can stop beating yourself up about it. I'm fine now, more than fine."
No longer wanting to stand there and have this uncomfortable conversation, Veronica started walking. Derek walked alongside her.
The sign outside the gallery boasted the names of the new artists being featured this week. Veronica had never heard of any of them. She used to keep up with all the new talent in the photography world. It was high time she got back to the things she loved.
Derek seemed to pick up on the fact that she didn't really want to talk about anything heavy, so they kept the conversation light. They strolled along the gallery, commenting on the different photographs, and he asked her about her photography.
They walked around for almost an hour, and then the conversation took a turn. "How are things now that you're alone?"
Veronica stopped and stared at the black-and-white photograph of an old woman wearing stilettos, smoking on a park bench. "I have a roommate now."
"You do?"
She studied the picture, wondering what to make of it. Did the stilettos represent this woman's past?
"Roni?" Her thoughts interrupted, she turned back to Derek. "New roommate?"
"Oh, yeah. He's a kid from the neighborhood, my trainer actually." She smiled at him. "He's the one that helped me drop all the weight." She started walking again. "He had some issues with his place, so he's renting one of the rooms at my house temporarily."
"Temporarily."
It wasn't a question, more like a statement. Veronica could tell he was speculating, but she didn't care. Just the thought of Noah had her looking at her watch. "I better get going."
Without another word, he nodded and they headed to his car. The ride home was somewhat quiet until they got to her house. Just as she began to get out, she felt his hand on her arm. "Roni." She stopped and turned back to face him. "It was really good to see you again. You look amazing."
She smiled and nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Thank you. It was good seeing you too."
"Maybe I can call you again? We can do dinner or something?"
With a weak smile, she nodded not sure how else to respond. Before he could say anything else, she rushed out, thanked him for the coffee, and waved goodbye, hurrying up her walkway. The pounding in her chest was testimony to how much she'd allowed Noah to get in her head, because all she could think of was how he'd react when she told him she'd spent the morning with Derek.
How do ya'll think Noah will react? ;)
Get lots of 5th Street extra's. Excerpts of other books in the series, fun interviews with the characters and even a FREE holiday 5th street short on my website!
http://elizabethreyes.com/books/5th-street/