A room full of bored seniors doodle and stare off into space. Mr. Dawson, an educated, no-nonsense man in his late twenties presides. Mr. Dawson walks around the front of the class "Okay then. What did everyone think of The Sun Also Rises?" A girl raises her hand and offers her opinion. "I loved it." She sighs, "It was sooo romantic." You're wearing a camo top in preparation for her daily war against high school ignorance. You looked over at the girl in disgust "Romantic? Hemingway?! He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers." The other students all rolled their eyes groaning. Caspar Lee, the star popular, 'down to earth guy' makes fun of you from his row. "As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends?" A few giggles erupt from the class. You fume from your seat without looking back. Mr. Dawson "Pipe down, Piñe." "I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time. What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte or Simone de Beauvoir?" you said. Dan suddenly steps into the classroom, late. "What'd I miss?" He asks. You answered without looking at him "The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education." "Good." with that Dan immediately turns and leaves. Mr. Dawson starts shouting after him "Hey, hey!" "Uh, Mr. Dawson. Is there any chance we could get Y/N to take her Mydol before she comes to class?" Caspar asks. More snickers from the class. "Someday you're gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it. And Y/N. I want to thank you for your point of view." Mr. Dawson states. You start to smile to yourself, your social indignation justified. He continues "I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper-middle-class suburban oppression. It must be tough." That deflates and you become bitter again. "But the next time you storm around the PTA crusading for better lunch meat, or whatever it is you (y/r) girls complain about, ask them why they can't buy a book written by a YouTube man!" Two of the web guys from earlier take up his cry of inequality. "That's right!" "Don't even get me started on you two!" They grumble apologetically and quickly shut up. You're fuming at this point again. "Anything else?" "Yeah. Go to the office. You're pissing me off." "What?! Mr. Dawson!" "Later!" You get up and on your way out, smack Caspar in the face with your bag.
Mr. Kjellburg sits in front of his laptop, composing his sleazy novel. "Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape... ...excitable, stiff and..." frustrated, calls to his attendant, "Bethany!" Bethany appears at the door. "What's another word for...engorged?" Mr. Kjellburg asked. "I'll look it up." "Okay." You approach the office and overhear Mr. Kjellburg searching for the right word. Continuing his book "...swollen...turgid..." "Tumescent?" You ask. "Perfect! So I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Dawson's class. Again." You sit down in front of him. "Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action." "The way you expressed your opinion to Joe Sugg? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested." "I still declare that he kicked himself in the balls." "The point is Y/N...people perceive you as somewhat-" you cut him off "Tempestuous?" Mr. Kjellburg shook his head "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often." You blush a bit looking unflattered. Mr. Kjellburg continues "You might want to work on that. Thank you." You raise from her chair. "As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member." You say sarcastically as you storms out of the office. "Quivering member... I like that." Mr. Kjellburg mumbled to himself and quickly typed it in.