Addison's POV:
It started out as a good day.
I woke up early, which was weird, but nonetheless I decided to enjoy it. I made Meredith some breakfast, got changed and ready for work. Meredith had the morning off, she was working the graveyard shift tonight (her first one as a resident!!!) which meant I wouldn't see her until she got off at five in the freaking morning. We both had the next day off, so I was planning on making up for this with some cuddles, wine and a nice movie.
"You're in a lovely mode this morning" Meredith smiled groggily, sitting up as I place the tray of breakfast on her lap.
"I dunno, I woke up and I saw you and I felt so in love it's making me happy" I smile and lean over and kiss her.
"Mm" Meredith sighed, leaning over to place the tray on her bedside table "I think I can wait to eat for a bit, I just want to love you since I won't see you all day" she kissed me again and again, putting her hands on my hips and pulling me down with her.
"Baby!" I laugh "you'll crumple my blouse!"
"Do I look like I care?" She kisses down my neck.
Chuckling, I kiss her once more and stand up. "I have to get to work, I was thinking of taking the Ferry Boat today to work"
She nods, and reaches for her breakfast "Sounds amazing, bunny. Call me when you've got a break, since I won't see you all day" she whines.
I smile "I will, I love you!" I say, grabbing my purse to leave the room.
"I love you too, more than ever"
~
I was standing at the front of the Ferry Boat, letting the salty sting of the cold water hit my skin as the air blew my hair around me in rings.
If I had to pick a second happiest place in my world, it would be here.
Because the first, was definitely with Mere.
In fact, I was thinking of her as the Ferry boat halted to a stop. I was thinking of her smile and her eyes as the boat jerked forwards, then backwards. I was thinking of how gorgeous she was and how much I freaking loved her as I was thrown backwards, into the rubble that was the boat.
It's really funny how in situations involving death, I only think of her and all the things I want to tell her, all the times I want to hold her and all the kisses I want to give her. No matter what, it was always her. Instead of myself or my own life, I think of her.
Because she is my life.
And I swear to god, I saw her face in a cloud of light as I hit my head and blacked out.
~
Meredith's POV:
I was asleep when I got the call.
It was about two hours after Addie had left for work, and I was sleeping as much as possible before I had to work the dreaded grave yard shift. But not only was I tortured with working the graveyard shift, oh no God had to be a total asshat, because Lexie was working the same shift I was under Christina's watchful eye.
So, I was deprived of time with my gorgeous wife, I had to work until an ungodly hour, and I had to try and avoid Lexie, who was hell bent on forcing her sisterhood upon me.
I rolled over and groaned, not wanting to answer the phone. I wanted to sleep and just enjoy the time I had left before I had to work. But, everyone else happened to be sleeping and ignoring the blatant ringing as well, so I begrudgingly rolled over and clicked the talk button.
"What" I was in no mood for polite casualties, I just wanted this phone call over with.
"Meredith, it's Bailey" Dr. Baileys voice rung out through the phone.
"I've got a late shift tonight, I'm not coming in now too, I don't care who's sick"
"Shut up" Bailey barks "this ain't about you, Grey. I'm looking for Addison, we've got a mass casualties situation and I can't find her anywhere, I'm not sure she showed up this morning for work. No ones seen her" Bailey tells me "is she with you? Did she sleep in or forget that she's got a job? We need her ass down here now!"
I sat up abruptly, suddenly fully awake. "She left three hours or so ago, she never went to the hospital?" I ask, confused.
Bailey sighs "No one's seen her all morning, and this Ferry Boat crash is a mess, I need all hands on deck, we don't have time for-" I cut her off.
"What?" I say "repeat that?" I don't want what she's saying to be what I'm sure I heard. I really freaking don't. I'm positive I heard wrong, I couldn't have heard right. Things like this don't happen to people who are happy, they just don't.
"I said the Ferry Boat that crashed-" I drop the phone, ending her sentence.
I'm sitting there, completely frozen. I don't know how to move or how to breathe, I can't even remember my own damn name.
Instead, I jump out of bed and into the first things I grab and head out the door to the hospital.
Because Addie was on that Ferry Boat.
Addison's POV:
It was dark. And cold. I couldn't see much, I couldn't move. My breathing was slow, I was finding it hard to keep on sucking in and out over and over. There was cold water all around me, creating a shallow, cold puddle. I knew it was water, because there was blood trickling down my face and it felt much warmer. Then again, I was currently unable to see or move so I could have been completely wrong.
But I don't think it was any of that, none of it really bothered me as much as the fact that I was all alone.
I was here, unable to see what happened and unable to move to get out from wherever I was, and I was all alone. I felt helpless, I knew I was dying if I wasn't already dead, and I was going to die all alone. Here, trapped under a shit ton of unidentified rubble, I was going to take my very last breath, and I was going to die.
I thought of Meredith, of how much I just wanted to talk to her once more before I was going wherever the hell dead people go. I wanted to tell her I loved her and she was the best thing that ever happened to me, I wanted to tell her she was extraordinary and absolutely stunning in every single way imaginable.
I wanted to tell her that just because I was gone, she didn't have to be alone.
As I tried to keep focusing on breathing in and out, even when I knew it was pointless because I felt as good as dead, because if I was going to die, I at least wanted to be out of here, I at least wanted to be on a table where she could hold my hand and say goodbye as I took my last breath. She deserved that, at least.
I closed my eyes as water, no, it was tears, definitely salty like the water but warm like tears, trickled down my face.
I just wanted to stop this feeling, this awful and horrible feeling of alone and helpless. I wanted to live, I didn't want to die. But Jesus, if all the loneliness wasn't one of the worst feelings in the world.
I just wished it would all go away.
Just as that thought left my brain, the boat jerked and I heard a crack, then a thump. Then, I heard something fall and felt it as it made contact with my head.
Meredith's POV:
"Dr. Bailey, I need to get on one of those ambulances to the docks" I was out of breath and shaking after running from the front lobby to the ER where I knew I'd find Dr. Bailey.
"You're off, Grey" she started, but I jumped in as quick as I could.
"Addison left this morning and she took the ferry boat to work" I say seriously "so, I'm going to go to the docks on an ambulance or so help me god there will be more mass casualties all involving hospital employees"
Bailey gasped, her eyes went wide and her face was a mask of pure shock "She was on the boat" realization hits her, but let me tell you, it'd already hit me like a truck.
"Jesus Christ, I don't have time for this" I pushed past Bailey and to the doors, where I jumped into an ambulance and prayed to God, whoever the hell he was, that my wife was okay.
We got to the dock and it was a complete mess. People were everywhere, babies were crying and screams filled the air. The boat was in ruins, smashed against the dock. Paramedics and doctors were helping people while others put blankets over the dead bodies.
The thought of looking for Addie under one of those made me sick.
Shaking my head, I ran to a paramedic "Did they get everyone out of the boat?" I ask him "I'm a doctor, I'm looking for my wife, she was on the boat"
He shrugs "Some were trapped under the rubble, there's still people up there trying to free anyone who's still stuck"
Without another word, I run to the rubble, keeping an eye out for anyone who could possibly be my Addie. When I get to the boat and climb on, I don't see anyone who resembles her.
I push past the firefighters trying to move the rubble and search frantically for something, anything. I search and move rocks and wood for I don't know how long, when one of the firefighters yells out that they found a body.
Running, I meet them at the front of the boat where they've unearthed the pale and bloody body of my gorgeous wife.
"Addison!" I lean down to her, collapsing at her side "Addie, bunny, please" I don't realize that I'd been crying the entire time until a tear falls down and hits her cheek.
"Do you know her?" Someone asks me.
I nod "She's my wife"
"I'm sorry" another says "we couldn't find a pulse. Your wife is dead"
My wife, my gorgeous and loving wife whom I loved more than my own life was gone. Just this morning she was making me breakfast, telling me she loved me and living. How is it that within a span of just three hours, someone with so much life and love could cease to exist? Her existence was ended, and there was so much more I wanted to do with her, for her. She was going to be a Mother, we were going to have a family, a full and long life. She is my everything, my world, my life.
I swear to god, I feel my entire world crash down around me. I feel numb, so numb that I don't feel myself fall down to her and start to cry into her chest. I don't feel the tears or her blood getting on my clothes.
I don't feel anything.
Until I cup her jaw, just under her jawline, and I feel something that makes me realize all hope is not lost.
I feel her pulse.
Addisons POV:
"Addie baby, I'm home" Meredith comes out through the front door, smiling widely and kicking her shoes off. "How was your day?" She walks over and kisses me softly.
"Meredith?" I ask, so confused. I was just dying in a ferry boat, and now I was at home with Meredith?
"Yes bunny, your wife? Remember me?" She teases, walking behind me and over to a pack n play by the couch "how were my girls today?" She reaches into the pack n play and picks up a little ginger haired baby.
We have a baby?
"Speaking of which, where is-" she starts, but is cut off by another little girl, of about three or so, runs into the room.
"Mommy!" She yells, opening her arms and jumping at Meredith. She had a head of blonde curls and a big smile. Meredith shifted and handed the baby to me before picking up the other little girl.
"How was your day baby girl?" Meredith smiled at the little girl.
"Mama and I coloured pictures and played with my dollies!" The little girl grinned.
Suddenly, I realized that this wasn't real because this was my version of heaven. Here, a family with Meredith, was my version of heaven. None of it was real because I hadn't experienced it.
I wanted to experience it though, I wanted all of it. I wanted kids and a loving, long marriage. I wanted to wake up and go to sleep every night with Meredith by my side. I wanted to live, I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for, I had a life who doubled as my wife.
And I loved her with everything I was and would be.
Holding the baby I hoped to one day have with Meredith, I closed my eyes and brought my nose to her little fluffy head and I wished with all my might that I would be okay.
A/N- this chapter made me so sad. I hate to leave off at a cliff hanger, there is a second part to this chapter, so don't worry. I'll update as per usual, once a week, but maybe if I got some comments I'll update sooner!!
Thanks for reading!!
Vote and comment!!
~Daisy