Again, HUGE apologies for the crappy updating skills that I have. Sorry for the wait and what I am realizing is seriously crappy writing, guys, but I hope you like this chapter nonetheless.I hope you're all having a lovely end of summer and that school and college and all of that jazz isn't too heinous and hard. MUCH LOVE! xoxo
9: Weird Thoughts
I had never been stabbed. Not literally. ...Unless being prodded in the stomach with a blunt plastic knife when I was four years old by Daniel Moresby counts, and I'm not too sure that it does. He was meant to be playing with his bloody blue playdough, but instead, the weirdo of a boy decided that instead of squishing the squashy stuff into dodgy shapes, he would attempt to stab me in the six pack. Well I liked to think I had a six pack, and that he had clearly been jealous of it that he couldn't resist giving it a jab.
The "attack" had been reported though, and statements had to be given, and I could still vividly remember scrawling my "signature" at the bottom of a page and feeling like such a boss/grown up, even though my signature at the time consisted of Nova being written shakily and the letter N written backwards and then crossed out on the first try.
Looking back on it now, it was one of the funniest things ever, but still pretty damn disturbing that such homicidal tendencies were showcasing themselves so clearly at such n early age.
Funnily enough, I'm pretty sure that he got locked up a couple of years ago for attempted murder. Not that that's funny.
Anyway, back to my original point: I had never been stabbed. But that's exactly what it felt like when I heard Connor's words - like ice had been thrust into my chest and somebody was twisting that shard.
I think I tried to gasp, but it got stuck in my throat, and I wouldn't and couldn't ever make its way into the air that was suddenly very difficult to breathe in.
'Oh really?' I heard myself say. 'And what's your source for this piece of supposed news?'
There was a pause. And then, 'Daily Mail.'
Oh effing hell.
I wanted to laugh. Desperately. But somehow - only God knew how - I managed to hold it in, my voice shaking only the tiniest bit as I inquired, 'Oh yeah? And what did this oh so reliable source of information say, specifically?'
Another pause. For once, I was quite grateful for these douchebaggy pauses, because Drew walked in during this one, an inquisitive expression flicking across his face.
I held the phone away from me and mouthed in reply to his stare, He knows. He knows about Jelly. I made circular gestures around my navel.
His green eyes widened. How? Drew mouthed back.
I shrugged, feeling my mouth twist anxiously, and let my attention fleet back to my phone, slyly putting the arseholes on the other end on speaker, but holding it close to my mouth so they wouldn't know that by the sudden change in volume.
'I saw the article about you two going out, and then there was another one recently about you being seen in some shop angsting over baby clothes. A few people even confirmed that you went off with him the night of the wedding, so it's all kind obvious what's happening, because then there's everything else. I asked Mia about it, and it all just makes sense. You're having his kid.'
My eyes locked with Drew's as Connor spouted his crap, biting my lip as I searched his face for an answer to the question that I couldn't stop from running continuously through my head.
Was it time to admit it?
Almost as if he could read my mind, Drew gave me the tiniest nod.
'Maybe it's time just to tell them,' he murmured quietly, mouth close to my ear so that the phone wouldn't pick up his voice. 'They can't - they won't sell us out.'
Ah jeez.
I sighed, closing my eyes for a little moment as our hands found their way to each other, the two of us holding onto each other quite literally for support. Warmth flooded through me, my gaze alternating between our interlinked hands and Drew's face that leaned in close to mine.
I took a deep breath. 'Look, Connor.' My voice cracked a little at saying his name, it had been so long since I had even murmured it out loud. 'What is it to you, anyway? Is it actually any of your business whether I am pregnant or not, or whose child I'm having? Actually, screw that, I'm going to answer for you: no, it isn't. It's nobody's business, but I suppose I will just confirm it for you and let you know that there is a bun in my oven, but that you have no right ever to demand to know or have anything to do with me or Drew or our child. Now fuck off and go away, and know that if either of you breathe a word of this to Mum or Dad, I will genuinely never forgive you.'
Even I could hear the chill in my voice: I wasn't a serious person, but there would never be any mistaking the tone I took on.
'Right then, now we've had that serious talk, have fun! See you... not soon, hopefully. Bye.' I quickly hung up before I could stop and let Connor answer, throwing the phone as far away from me as possible. Fortunately it landed on top of the bed, narrowly missing being flung against the footboard which would undoubtedly lead to it getting a giant crack down the middle.
Drew and I stared at it for a moment, our hands still linked, before we looked back at each other and burst out laughing after one long, pregnant (pardon the pun), pause.
'What's wrong with him? Why's he turned into such a prat lately?' Drew asked, a little sadly after the laughter had ended and we were left with a thousand questions and all the answers, but we didn't want to say them out loud.
It suddenly hit me that Drew was friends with Connor. Admittedly, that was a pretty dumb statement to make, even in my head, but it was just so easy to forget.
It was almost as if now that we had a baby tying us together, all of my hard feelings became Drew's too, and I didn't know if I liked that or not.
I didn't want to ruin his life.
*
'Hey Nova, you feeling any better?' Drew asked at around half past five, running a hand through hair that was slightly damp after a shower and walking into the living area. When I nodded, he continued, 'Do you want to come out to dinner with me and my sister tonight, then?'
We had spent most of the day watching films and eating ramen out of a pot, reminding me of uni days with my flatmates when half of us were on our periods or feeling ill, slobbing around, but still somehow so, so happy.
During the course of the day, I had tried to bully Drew into letting me watch one of his films ('It's practically bordering on pornographic, Nova! No! Noooo!' he yelled dramatically, making a lunge for me after I snatched it swiftly from his hand and had dived for the sofa, resulting in his torso pressed firmly against mine ), but he hid them all away and refused to show me one of the ones that I hadn't watched yet, of which there were an unexpected number. I hadn't even realised that he'd done so many films - he'd been in a couple of indie ones at first - since he was 19, with nakedness and raunchiness surprisingly featuring most in his earlier films.
I occasionally watched The High Road, flicking onto it on Thursday nights when it aired, but I never had been the greatest fan of mystery type shows - I always worked out the killer or the kidnapper or whatever, and I found that that seemed to suck out all of the fun, but Drew sure did play the sexy but slightly angsty cop part well. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought so, though, because now he really was huge and so very sought after.
His invitation was pondered over for a few moments, but I was hesitant. Obviously if we were having a baby, we would be a part of each other's lives for pretty much as long as the other lived now. God, that was one weird ass thought.
But anyway, the idea of meeting his sister really did make all of that seem so much more real.
'Mmm, all right. Yeah. Okay.'
Drew scrunched up his nose. 'You could be a bit more enthusiastic, woman!'
I held my hands up as if in surrender. 'Fineeee then. Yes, Drew! Yes, yes, yes!'
There was a silence.
'...I just sounded like I was making sex noises, didn't I?' I asked.
'Pretty much, yeah.'
I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out, before turning on my heel and walking into my room/the guest room in order to shower and get dressed.
Just over half an hour later, I was looking considerably less grim and ill, with me having slapped a bit of make up onto my face and in the one moderately decent outfit that I had brought with me - a floral blue skirt and white top that I shoved a black cardigan on top of. I was going to wear my usual tan jacket over everything anyway, so I knew I wasn't going to get cold.
The next thing I knew, the two of us were getting into Drew's black car. The tinted windows that it had made me both uneasy and made me want to crack up at the same time - it felt like we truly were part of a bad movie, but apparently it was rightly so, because I'm pretty sure someone snapped a photo of us just as we were getting into the freaking car.
Drew smiled in spite of it, but his eyes were tight in a way that made me want to reach out my hand and smooth that out into its usual soft expression.
'Holy mother of shit, what is this?' I asked when some rumbling music and a crash of cymbals came on from his stereo, making me clutch my chest and jump back into my seat.
'I like listening to film soundtracks,' Drew defended. 'Better than the CDs I saw on your rack! Why, pray tell, do you have all of the Backstreet Boys' albums? Why did you have two copies of the Milennium one, as well?'
'Oi! Don't be jel and diss my boys! Seriously though, I would probably run off and elope with Kevin any time, any place, any day, if he asked.' I fanned myself with a hand, Drew narrowing his eyes. 'You know you have a favourite member of the band too, Drew.'
He tried not to smile but failed miserably, his even and white smile infectious. 'Not going to lie, I would probably go for Kevin as well. Ava used to be mental about them when she was younger too, actually, but I didn't know people still had their albums out on display in their homes!'
'Evidently you were wrong,' I said with a complacent eyebrow raise.
'Mhmm.'
We continued drove along in silence that was filled with our usual banter.
'Does Ava know?' I asked suddenly. 'About the baby?'
He nodded. 'Do you mind? She's - she's the only person that I've told, and even then it was because she practically throttled me and forced it out.'
I smiled in spite of myself. 'No, it's all right. It's just as much your place to tell people as it is mine. We're all in this together,' I said in a singsong voice, winking and laughing and hoping he got the reference.
'High School Musical ref, verrrry nice,' Drew grinned. 'I so should have auditioned for that. I'd be a way better Troy than Zac was, don't you think?'
'Sure darling, you keep telling yourself that,' I responded with an eye roll.
By this time, we'd pulled up to the restaurant, a posh looking place which made me shrink a little bit and wish that I'd thought to dress up a little bit more than I was.
I clutched the upper part of my left arm with my right hand self consciously, biting a lip as we got out of the car and I abruptly felt a lot less shielded.
'Supernova, you should know by now that you're absolutely beautiful. You've got nothing to worry about, lady. I'm here.' Drew murmured, just loudly enough for me to hear. He reached for my hand and pulled me close, pressing a kiss to my forehead that made my eyes shut and a shiver shoot down my spine.
It was then that I realised it was going to be so very easy to fall in love with Drew bloody Turner.