❝Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.❞
✥
I climb the stairs to my room tiredly and yawn when I reach the top, calling out to my mom that I was home and that I'm going to bed. I don't get a reply, so I just close my bedroom door behind me and fall face first onto my mattress. I groan, turning on my back and sprawling like a starfish as I yawn again.
Scott and Aunt Mel had a long, energetic talk during the ride back home while I sat in the back and thought. I'm not gonna lie, I'm glad that he's able to forget the werewolf problems and try to be normal, at least for a while. Surely, on Monday, the three of us are gonna have to get together to talk strategies on how to approach the Derek situation. But for now, Scott should revel in his win all weekend. He's earned it.
I change into my PJs and snuggle under the sheets to try to get warm, my accelerated mind fighting a losing battle with my exhausted body. As I'm about to drift off, a slight sound jolts me out of my first sleep cycle. It sounds as if someone opened a window, but that's impossible. No one's in my room except me. Right?
I get up, eyes closed as I reach out for the windowpane on the other side of the room. My fingers confirm that it's shut, so what the hell? I shake my head, returning to my spot. I must have dreamt that the window opened or something; I always have the weirdest dreams when I'm tired.
I get under the duvet again, but I keep hearing things all around me like an echo. Breathing, soft movement, the sort of noises you'd hear when someone is in your room. God, it feels like I'm being stalked, and I don't like it at all. Out of the blue, a documentary dialogue pops up in my head when I sit up.
Anxiety is a complete disorder, with physical and mental symptoms so severe, that they mimic far more serious disorders. Auditory hallucinations are an example of just such a symptom. While anxiety doesn't cause these hallucinations on the same level as schizophrenia, it can cause what's known as "simple" auditory hallucinations that some people find extremely frightening.
Well, Brain, that makes sense. I've been pretty stressed out lately, so I'm probably just having an auditory hallucination. I lay back down and turn on my right side, which I've heard helps you sleep faster. But throughout the night, I end up having restless dreams and waking up many times. All my dreams have something to do with Scott killing someone, and even worse, Derek wanting revenge for being thrown into jail because of three nosy kids.
Can't I ever catch a break?
✥
Monday mornings are absolute bitches, let me tell ya. I walk into the school hall behind my two boys, eyes heavy with fatigue. Rest seems to be have been a distant friend to me all weekend, and I'd honestly do anything to reconcile with it at this point. Hell, I'll even kill Jackson for it. (Who am I kidding, I'd kill him anyway.)
Scott has been antsy since Stiles and I met with him earlier. He keeps going on and on about a weird dream he had in which he and Allison had snuck onto a school bus to make out. But in the middle of kissing her, he had wolfed out and proceeded to rip the love of his life apart while hearing her scream for mercy. Lovely.
"So you killed her?" Stiles asks incredulously.
"I don't know. I just woke up," Scott says. "A-and I was sweating like crazy, and I couldn't breathe. I've never had a dream where I woke up like that before."
Our best friend snorts. "Really? I have. Usually ends a little differently."
My eyes widen in horror when I realize what he's implying, and I make exaggerated gagging sounds to audibly display my discomfort. Eww, teenage boy hormones. Scott seems to be in agreement, saying in a whiny voice, "A: I meant I've never had a dream that felt that real, and B: never give us that much detail about you in bed again."
"That's just nasty, dude," I add, sticking my tongue out and trying to rid my brain of the image of him dreaming about Lydia and kissing her and doing the dirty and HOLY SHIT he is so lucky that I sorta ship them.
"Noted," Stiles chimes in an embarrassed tone, stumbling a little as we walk. "Let me take a guess here—"
"No, I know, you think it has something to do with me going out with Allison tomorrow, like I'm gonna lose control and rip her throat out," my cousin cuts him off.
Yeah, by some sort of miracle, Scott McCall has a date with Allison Argent. I don't purposely mean to drag my cousin, but I thought that the first person to get a date out of us three was gonna be Stiles since he was the most normal out of our trio. But that was pre-bite, and now Scott is definitely going through his long awaited glo-up phase thanks to 'the gift'.
Stiles brings me back to the conversation at hand. "No, of course not." Short pause. "Yeah, that's totally it."
I smack his arm for not being subtle when saying the obvious, for which I get a slap in return, so Stiles and I get into a brief and very infantile cat-fight before I elbow him off and grab Scott's arm. "Hey, come on, it's gonna be fine, all right? Personally, I think you're handling this pretty freakin' amazingly. You know, it's not like there's a 'Lycanthropy for Beginners' class you can take."
Scott clutches onto my hand, sighing. "Yeah, not a class, but maybe a teacher."
Teacher? Teacher? Dear Lord, please tell me he's not referring to the person I think he is.
"Who, Derek?" Stiles lets out a dark chuckle, speaking my thoughts aloud. "You forgetting the part where we got him tossed in jail?"
"And who's probably waiting to kill us in our sleep for that?" I groan, remembering my nightmares.
Scott shakes his head. "Yeah, I know, but chasing her, dragging her to the back of the bus, it felt so real."
I bump into Stiles, who has stopped in front of me, and he speaks before I can tell him to keep walking. His voice comes out strangled. "How real?"
"Like it actually happened."
I swerve around Stiles, my pole coming in contact with metal, and I feel for the handle to open the door that leads to the other building. Scott grabs my arm when I step out, and I notice the way their bodies are tense as they see something I clearly can't.
"I think it did," Stiles breathes out. He begins to describe the gory scene in front of us, which consists of a bus with its door ripped off of its hinges, scratch marks across the yellow paint, and blood. Lots and lots of blood.
Scott heads back into the building frantically, no doubt trying to locate Allison to make sure that he didn't kill her like in his dream. Stiles and I have no choice but to trail after him and attempt to calm him down before he actually wolfs out and murders half the school population (or worse, one of us).
"She's probably fine," our best friend tries to console.
"She's not answering my texts, Stiles."
I wave my hands around. "It could just be a coincidence, all right?" I grimace as the image of a blood-splattered bus comes to mind. "A seriously amazing coincidence."
My cousin latches onto me, and he tugs me forward like a rag doll. I try to keep up with his superhuman pace as he freaks out. "Just help me find her, okay? Stiles, can you see her?"
"No" comes Stiles' reply somewhere further behind us.
I jump two feet in the air when I hear an abrupt crash and metal creaking under pressure, Scott no longer next to me. I reach forward and am met with his quivering arm. His heavy breaths are in my ear when he suddenly wraps me into a shaky hug, and I automatically rub his back in comfort.
"That's it. Count to ten," I order. Fortunately for Scott, I knew how to handle panic attacks since I've had to help Stiles with them when we were younger. My hand leaves my cousin's side and I touch the bent door of a locker. Wow, so he can punch iron and cave it in. Don't wanna feel what'll happen to a human if he punches them. I can feel Scott's heartrate slow down, and I pat his shoulder to praise him for his self-control. "Good job, buddy."
"Thanks."
We take a step back and after taking a deep breath, Scott starts to speedwalk again with me in tow. We turn a corner into another corridor, and we're both shoved back by a force who lets out a feminine grunt when we collide. "You guys scared the hell outta me," she says. I instantly recognize the voice as Allison's and I exhale in relief.
"You're okay," Scott sighs as well.
Allison laughs. "Once my heart starts beating again, yeah." I sense her uneasiness when she asks, "What?" She must have noticed the weird expression that most likely on my cousin's face just now.
"I'm just happy to see you."
"We're happy to see you," I correct with a soft smile. I stretch out a hand to ease the tension in the air. "We haven't officially met. I'm Mia, this idiot's cousin who, by the way, has no manners and totally forgets I exist when he's around you."
The Argent girl chuckles, shaking my hand, and Scott prods my ribcage for shaming him in front of Allison. "I'm sorry about that, Mia. I'm Allison, nice to finally meet you."
The PA system comes to life, cutting the talk short. "Attention, students, this is your principal. I know you're all wondering about the incident that occurred last night to one of our buses. While the police work to determine what happened, classes will proceed as scheduled."
"Aw, shucks," I quip, a frown on my face. Oh, well, I can always take a nap during class.
"Save me a seat at lunch?" Allison queries.
"Yeah," Scott replies quickly and a little too eagerly.
Her footsteps recede and I elbow Scott's side, pretending to blow him kisses. He swipes at me but I giggle. "Scott and Allison sitting on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
"Real mature, Mimi," my cousin scoffs, but I can hear the amused smile in his voice as he follows after me. However, I'm stopped when he grasps my hand. "Ah, hell. Remember the locker?"
I frown. "What about it?"
My question is answered as Jackson snaps, "What are you looking at, asswipe?" in such an offended tone, his locker door squeaking weakly. We start to walk again, and I laugh loudly once we're far enough away so that Captain Dickhead can't hear me. Scott chuckles along, but he's once again tense as our new problem returns to mind.
Together, we step in Chemistry. I climb onto my stool and begin to prepare for today's lesson. Stiles claps a hand on my shoulder in greeting behind me, and I pat it before he removes it. The whole room goes quiet, the only sound is Mr. Harris writing something on the chalkboard. The two dumbasses I call family begin to mutter vehemently about the bus thing.
"Maybe it was my blood on the door," my cousin suggests.
"Could have been animal blood," Stiles agrees. "You know, maybe you caught a rabbit or something."
"And did what?"
"Ate it," Stiles says matter-of-factly.
Scott gasps in horror. "Raw?"
I turn around, eyes rolling. "No, you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven. I don't know, you're the one who can't remember anything!"
"Mr. Stilinski, Miss McCall."
I stiffen when the devil himself mentions my name, having been caught talking, and I swivel back around to face him to try to save my ass from detention.
"If that's your idea of a hushed whisper, you might want to pull the headphones out every once in a while," he continues, and the class erupts into soft laughter. I glare at the front of the room where I heard his voice come from, but it goes unnoticed. "I think you two and Mr. McCall would benefit from a little distance, yes?"
"No," Stiles protests blatantly.
But we're left with no choice but to obey the Sith Lord's commands. Stiles and Scott move seats, allowing me to stay where I am, and I try to sink lower on my stool without falling off. Yes, sometimes I'm sassy as hell, but I don't like being put on the spot at all, especially in front of mocking alumni.
"Let me know if the separation anxiety gets to be too much," Harris calls out sarcastically, and Stiles mumbles something unintelligible as he sits down.
Just when Mr. Satan is gonna start the lesson, some girl starts screaming and flailing around, catching everyone's attention. "Hey, I think they found something!"
On cue, everyone gets up and goes towards her. I wait for either Scott and Stiles to come get me, and of course, a second later someone helps me out of my seat. Warm sunlight fans over my cool skin, alerting me that we're near the window, and I wait for either boy to tell me what's going on outside.
"That's not a rabbit," Scott says. "That's an actual person. An actual dead person getting pulled out of the bus."
I look ahead blindly, putting together the clues. Okay, I'm not really one who believes in coincidences. This guy is hauled out of a school bus the day after my cousin dreams about killing someone in a school bus? Maybe Scott did attack someone last night, and maybe he doesn't remember because his werewolf side took over. Just what we needed; a teen wolf with homicidal somnambulism problems.
A scream from outside our building pierces the air, and everyone who has crowded around to witness the gruesome scene jumps in fright. I'm pulled backwards and into the middle of a group huddle where our conversation can't be heard.
"Okay," Stiles starts. "This is good, this is good. He got up, he's not dead. Dead guys can't do that."
"Stiles," Scott mutters. His hand accidentally chokes the life out of my fingers, but I don't say anything as he talks. "I did that," he whispers guiltily.
~ ~ ~
The lack of Derek/Mia moments will be fixed around chapter ten, so yay for that! Oh, and I think I've decided on their ship name. #MerekForLife ♥ Thank you AnikaRogers you're awesome.
Dedication goes to everyone who commented their ideas though. I loved them all and it was hard to choose :D So see you guys soon and lots of love! xx