Adaptable. It's a good word to describe the five of them, Liam thinks. After everything, they're all adaptable. They all adapted to being put in a group. They all adapted to this life they've been thrust into, none of them having ever guessed that they could possibly be this big. And, as weird as it is, the body switch between Zayn and Liam is just another thing that they've all accepted and adapted to.
For the most part.
Liam is still kind of thrown by the whole thing, rightfully, but he's not freaking out anymore. There was a moment, yesterday, just before he'd gotten in the shower when he stopped, turning to the mirror and — He still feels guilty about that, but he didn't really look, he sort of just... grazed over Zayn's form in the mirror, completely naked, before flushing in guilt and embarrassment and climbing into the shower. But, aside from that, Liam thinks he's taking this whole thing pretty well.
That was the easy part, though. Accepting it, getting the others to realize that this has really happened, that was easy. This interview? Not so easy.
"Congratulations, by the way, Zayn," the interviewer says, "on the engagement."
She's pretty, long blonde hair, even longer legs. And she's smiling pointedly at Liam, her lips heavily glossed in a pretty pink colour. And Liam barely even registers how attractive she is. That's been an issue for a while, being able to find other people attractive. Because, yes, she's pretty. Yes, her accent is kind of hot. Is she Zayn, though? No, and honestly, no one compares to Zayn.
"Thanks," Zayn says automatically, and Liam nods along until Louis coughs. "I mean—"
"Thank you," Liam stutters. "Thanks."
"Thank you," Harry adds, probably so it doesn't seem too obvious, what just happened. "We're all very excited."
"All of you?" the interviewer says, going along with it.
"We're a package deal," Louis puts in. "Marry one of us, marry all of us. Not sure Perrie knows what she's gotten herself into."
The interviewer laughs, but it's kind of put on, like it's what she's expected to do, not because she actually found that funny. "Zayn," she says, steering the attention back to Liam, "could you tell us a bit about the engagement itself? How did you do it?"
Liam nearly rolls his eyes, but he realizes what he's about to do and represses it. But, fuck, he hates all the engagement talk normally, and now that he's Zayn he has to actively participate in talking about it. And none of them prepared for this, he thinks. They should have. They should have exchanged notes on what to say if certain questions were brought up, because Liam has no damn idea how Zayn asked Perrie to marry him.
"I just, um, asked her," Liam says. "And she said yes."
Niall snorts and Louis says, "Wow, how romantic."
"Were you nervous?" the interviewer (Liam is 70% sure her name is Deidra) asks.
"Not really," Liam says without thinking. He's irritated, and he wants this line of questioning to stop. "Don't really see why I would be," he adds. What would Zayn have to be nervous about? Is there really anyone out there who would say no if Zayn Malik asked them to marry him?
Well, maybe Beyoncé, but that's probably it.
"You weren't scared of her saying no?" Deidra asks.
"Oh, totally," Liam says, and this time the eye roll happens even though he tries not to. "That would have been horrible, right? Like, worst thing ever. I'm so glad that didn't happen."
Silence follows Liam's words, and Zayn is sitting stock straight, eyes glazed over, hands discreetly clenched. Liam winces, realizing what he's done.
"I— I mean, yeah, I was worried," Liam quickly says. "It... it would have crushed me if she said no. I love her, right, and. Yeah, it would have been the worst thing to happen to me if she said no. I don't know what I'd have done."
Zayn swallows, dropping his gaze, and Liam lets out a sigh of relief as the interviewer coos. "That's adorable," she says. "Now, I was wondering...."
Liam sinks lower in his seat, chewing on his bottom lip. The one good thing about being Zayn is that, after the engagement questions are done and over with, no one looks surprised when he silently sits there. That's how Zayn is, depending on his day, on the mood. Sometimes he'll get rowdy, get crazy and make a scene and laugh, throaty and genuine, joking with Louis and Liam. Other times he'll silently sit there, let everyone else field the questions while he sighs at some of the dumber answers and basically looks bored with everything.
That's what Liam's planning on doing, until Deidra says, "But Zayn's not the only one taken, right? Two of you also have girlfriends?"
"Right," Louis says brightly. "That would be Liam and I."
"Either of you planning on popping the question any time soon?"
Zayn chokes. Everyone but Louis turns in their seat to look at him, including Liam, who has no idea what's happening. Concern bubbles up inside him until Zayn sucks in a breath, eyes wide, and says, "Definitely not. No way in hell. Can I get a bottle of water, please?"
Oh. Payback is a bitch.
Zayn gets his bottle of water, and Liam can do nothing but sit there as Louis takes control of the interview, answering nearly every question, even the ones aimed at Zayn and Liam. And Liam tries not to get upset by what Zayn did, and he mostly succeeds. There's going to be backlash for that, though, and he has a feeling he's going to be receiving some very angry texts from his girlfriend soon, if she's watching. Even if she's not watching, actually, because chances are what Zayn just did will be all over magazines and gossip sites in the following week.
Yet he really can't find it in himself to mind all that much. She might break up with him, but... that will be more inconvenient than unpleasant.
After the interview, when they're all backstage, Liam gets a bottle of water for himself and Louis hisses, "What the fuck happened back there?"
There are people around, ones who work on the show, most of them with headsets on. Several of them look at Louis for the vehemence in his tone, and that's just what they need, isn't it? Some big article on One Direction fighting backstage after an interview.
"At the hotel," Louis says, realizing this. Liam nods, and Zayn nods, and Niall helps himself to a donut.
*
Louis is pinching the bridge of his nose, standing in the middle of Harry's hotel room, looking ready to throw something at one of them. Harry sits on his bed, one leg pulled up underneath him, Niall beside him. And Zayn and Liam are both standing, looking a bit scolded.
"One of you," Louis says, "needs to explain what the fuck happened back there."
"Don't really know what you're talking about, mate," Zayn says with a shrug. "Anyone know what he's talking about?"
Harry makes a face at him. "Zayn," he says. That's it, and Zayn's shoulders slump a bit, a pout crossing his lips.
"It wasn't that big of a deal," Liam puts in. "I don't think anyone even noticed."
"You don't think anyone noticed?" Louis snaps. "You don't think anyone noticed the fact that you made a mockery of Zayn's engagement, and then Zayn practically had a fit when the interviewer suggested that you might ask your girlfriend to marry you? You really don't think anyone noticed that? Well thank fucking god, we can all sleep easily tonight."
"Hey," Niall says. "Lighten up, Lou. Sarcasm's the lowest form of flattery."
"Wit," Zayn says. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. You're thinking of imitation. Imitation is the — you know what, never mind."
"I'm not trying to go off on anyone," Louis says, which is the biggest lie ever. Louis loves to go off on them. "I just think that maybe we should all prepare for the next time we go out in public. Starting with the two of you learning not to answer to your own names."
"I've been Liam a day," Zayn says. "I've been Zayn my whole life. Kinda hard not to respond to it."
"We'll work on that," Louis says. "And Liam — when someone brings up the engagement, try not to look like you just sat on a cactus, maybe?"
"Seriously," Zayn adds. "What's your problem, Liam?"
"I don't have a problem," Liam says quickly.
"You've got a problem," Harry says.
"Yeah, it's kinda obvious," Niall contributes.
Liam crosses his arms over his chest, backing up until he hits the door. He feels ganged up on, all of a sudden, and he hates it. It's like being on the outside all over again, like he was in the beginning, when he was quiet and reserved and the others all clicked so easily. It's like the four of them are together, and Liam's not with them. He hates that feeling.
"I don't have a problem," he repeats. "I don't."
"Okay," Louis says, softening a bit. "You don't have a problem, so try to act like you don't. Maybe smile, talk about how much you like Perrie's face or something, I don't know." He turns to Zayn. "And you, maybe don't choke on your own bitterness when Liam's girlfriend is brought up."
"Bitterness?" Zayn demands. "I was just paying him back for that shit he pulled with the engagement questions!"
"It really doesn't matter what the reasoning is," Harry says, much calmer than Louis. "I think that we just have to be careful about this. So maybe, until this stops, you two should think before you talk, and try not to say anything that would show each other in a bad light. If they ask about the engagement, Liam, just smile, maybe, and politely change the subject. That's all."
"I can do that," Liam promises, hoping to end this conversation. "I will."
"That's settled, then," Niall says. "I'm going to eat and shower before the show."
"I'll come with you," Harry says. "Zayn?"
"Yeah, I'm coming."
The three of them leave once Liam's moved from in front of the door, leaving Louis and Liam alone. Liam sighs and goes to lie on Harry's bed. Louis sticks to the floor, sitting at the end, tugging off Liam's shoes for him. "How're you feeling, by the way?" he asks while he does. "I forgot to ask you that."
Liam shrugs. "I'm dealing."
Louis pauses, looking up at him with those damn blue eyes. Louis' eyes are deathly. Sometimes they're mischievous and bright, but sometimes they're narrowed and sharp as a blade carved from ice. And sometimes they seem to see through Liam better than anything else. "I don't mean just with the body swap thing," he says. "I mean, how are you feeling about switching with Zayn specifically?"
Shrugging seems like the only appropriate answer, so he does it again. "It's definitely not easy," he admits. "And it's like — I don't know. It's not helping what was already a bad situation, let's just say that."
"You're really fucked over the engagement, aren't you?"
Liam's face twists into a pained, tight lipped smile. "I think it's great, actually."
Louis snorts. "You're a horrible liar."
"What do you want me to say, then?" Liam demands. "That I want him to be happy, I want him to be happy so bad, but it destroys me that he's happy with someone else? That I love him, and the fact that he loves someone else feels like someone's reaching into my stomach and twisting everything inside?"
"Liam."
"Being in love sucks, Louis," Liam says. "It's the worst thing to ever happen to me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Louis sighs at him. "No, Liam, it's not."
"I just want my body back," Liam groans. He flops back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "And I want to be able to be happy for him without secretly hating him for doing this, but I can't."
"You can't tell him that," Louis says gently. "You know that, right? You can't do that to him. It'll kill him."
"I know that," Liam snaps.
"I know you do," Louis says. "Do you want to shave off all his hair? Would that make you feel better?"
"No." Liam defensively runs a hand through Zayn's hair. "No way."
"So the vanity is in his DNA, too, I see. It's not just his personality."
Liam sits up, rolling his eyes. "I think Zayn's shoulders are actually wider than mine," he muses. "Do they look wider than mine? My arms are bigger but I think his shoulders are —" Liam lifts his arms. "I don't know. They feel wider, but I feel thinner, too."
"Anything else of his wider than yours?" Louis asks, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You take a peek at what's going on down there yet, or what?"
"No." Of course Louis is the one to go there. "I haven't."
"You've thought about it, though," Louis guesses. "And you've went to the bathroom, right? So you've, like, you've touched Zayn's dick, Liam. You're living the dream, mate."
"Shut up," Liam laughs. "Christ. Do you want to touch his dick?"
"Sometimes." Louis shrugs. "Wanna go get dinner before we have to leave for the show?"
"Yeah, just let me change. This shirt is really wrinkled."
Louis takes a long look at him when he stands up. He puts a hand on his hip, eyes narrowing a little in a way that used to terrify Liam, back before he'd learned that letting loose wasn't going to kill anyone. Now, it has adrenaline thumping through him, body thrumming in anticipation.
"Screw dinner," Louis smirks. "I have a better idea."
*